//------------------------------// // When There is Smoke // Story: Fallout Equestria: Taking Life By The Horns // by Pokonic //------------------------------// I was surrounded by at least two score armed ponies, each one prepared to shoot me and my alleged ally. I guessed that, going by what I knew from my own training, that while I could probably survive two or three shots from one of the guns they carried, more than that would doom me. Unless Blueberry had a shielding spell, we were going to die if they wanted. I looked to my right very carefully: there was no exit. I did the same with my left. Nothing but angry, very well armed ponies. We were screwed. Completely and utterly. There was no single phrase to describe how screwed we were in Equish. There might have been one in Minotaurian, however. We were kind of assholes like that. I closed my eyes, and prepared for a few tiny chunks of metal to finish me. I could only assume that Blueberry was doing that, or preparing to levitate the cart or something. I opened my left eye. She was huddled next to me with her hoofs on top of her head, shaking slightly. Dang it. Of all the times... I re-prepared for swift death. I had no intention to die like a typical bull-headed hunter, charging with a spear in hand against a wave of hot lead. And I waited. And waited some more. And then the music started from some hidden speaker or another, filling the entire court with its bombastic sound. It was a thing of drums and brass, something one could hear on the radio from time to time. Militaristic at its core, and perfect for intimidation.. I opened my eyes. The ponies were on there knees, heads hung low, and some had moved out of the way to form a path. There was a pony walking down it, a thin coal-colored unicorn mare with a deep red mane clad in a decorated uniform, two ponies in what looked like ramshackle power armor flanking her on each side, each bearing two long-barreled objects that could only be very large guns. Her head was raised and eyes closed, making her seem like a queen with her subjects bowing to her. Finally, she and her intimidating guards stopped their slow trot in front of the cart, and the music stopped right then and there. She lowered her head ever so slowly, and opened her eyes. Two grey orbs stared into my own, and she gave a tiny, knowing smile. Well, if anything, the NCR knew how to make an impression. The unicorn spoke with a low, rich voice with a hint of mirth, almost completely conflicting with her actual appearance and the situation on hand. “I am Colonel Charnel. I have many questions, and I insist that you peacefully give in to questioning.” I just nodded. Blueberry did the same. Charnel just chuckled. The solder’s laying prone on the floor, however, remained silent. “Wonderful. Follow me if you wish to live.” The building we were led to was easily the most stable-looking one in the camp. It was small, yes, but looked clean, and the guards were silent and left us alone. It seemed that most of my fears were misplaced. Heck, Charnel seemed nice, so I might be able to get out of the situation Blueberry got me into with most of my stuff. I really wanted the note Sea’s gave me, considering that she would probably not approve if whatever was on there was given to ponies who likely could not understand it. Last wishes and all. And my life. I would like to keep that as well. Eventually, we had made the short trip to the entrance of what was probably her study. Taking a few moments to go through a ring of keys, smiling apologetically as she took her time fiddling through them, she unlocked the door and beckoned us to go inside as she went on to another part of the building for some reason or another. The room we were half-forced into by the guards smelled of stale smoke and had little inside it besides a darkly colored wooden desk and two small wooden chairs. The desk itself had the only color in the room on its front, a white-colored sun with yellow stripes clashing with the otherwise gray-brown coloration that seemed to make up the entirety of Braymonts color scheme. There was a little safe in a corner as well, and her desk was lined with small shot glasses and paperwork along with a little grey ashtray on the side. In essence, there was little to suggest that this was a mare who was the leader of three dozen solders. However, my optimism for my future and Charnel's willingness to let us live was crushed by pure horror when I noticed the horned skull set behind the desk, far larger than any brahmans, with golden tips on the thickly set horns proper. The brass ring in the nasal cavity confirmed my fears. Oh, fuckidy-fuck me. Then again, Blueberry began to sweat when she saw the power-armor helm being used as a trash can besides the desk, so my anguish and fear for our continual existence was shared with something else. Together, seated in front of the desk, we knew that her guards were silently watching us near the entrance to the room. Charnel returned a few heart-pounding minutes later, lacking any of the armor or clothing she was wearing before, letting the two of us notice that, besides her being visibly muscular in a ropy sort of way under that snazzy uniform, her cutie mark was a trifecta of blackened pony skulls that were ablaze with crimson flame. Oh, joy. We were both going to die horribly. With a deft use of magic, the little safe in the corner opened to reveal that it contained nothing more than a small flat scaly-looking pouch and bottle of something that was probably alcoholic. She took both items out and began, with deft magical control, pouring herself some amber liquid while unlocking the leathery looking case to reveal a rather expensive-looking cigar collection. She just took a rather average-looking one out and ignited an end in a red flash. “I suppose you two do not drink or smoke?” “No.” I said. Blueberry echoed me. Charnel just hummed slightly, and eventually she sat down in her chair bearing a crude imitation of a smile, teeth sharpened and bared like a wolf at her prey. And we were the fattened blind lambs. “First impressions are important, are they not?” Oh, she probably was a riot at parties. “Yes.” Blueberry just nodded as she took a point to avoid looking at the makeshift trash-can. Charnel just nodded her head in agreement. “Now, I must admit, most ponies would be begging for there lives now, least of all a minotaur and a Scribe, so I have to give you credit for not freaking out and getting shot by my two friends behind you. I mean, the decorations alone should have you going into hysterics.” She levitated her cigar hovered near her mouth, and I began to notice the foul smell of the smoke coming off the thing. Charnel just continued to talk, as if we did not have guns pointed at our heads. “I mean, this might seem like too much to you, but I simply don’t really see much a difference between putting a minotaur’s skull up on the wall and using hellhound claws as a weapon. It seems...silly, really, especially in this part of the wasteland. But, enough of that, we have business.” She took a puff of the cigar, and actually took care not to blow it in our direction. It still filled the room with thick grey smoke. “Tell me your names, and why you were traveling on a road with a dead earth pony and a passed out minotaur.”she said, rubbing her hooves together as if to keep herself warm. I was going to speak, but she was plainly looking at Blueberry. Then again, I suppose she would have been the one to ask. “Well, my name is Blueberry Cream, and the minotaur next to me is my bodyguard, Ever Watchful.” I love you too, Blueberry. “We were heading to Tauronto to trade, but I was told that the radio tower here needed to be fixed. We were heading there, but we were attacked by a crazed pony.” Well, two out of three an’t bad, I suppose. Charnel’s face went blank. “And you shot him with an energy weapon. We found your robes, mare; ponies do not carry anything with the SR insignia unless they have a very good reason. Don’t lie about where your allegiance lies. Allegiance is one of the few things worth keeping in this day and age.” Blueberry made a little nervous chuckle. “Well, yes, I used to be a Ranger, but that hardly matters. Anyway, the pony had a memory orb with him,” Charnel just looked at Blueberry oddly. “ Well, that explains why Watchful here was asleep for so long, but why did you carry the body with you?” My ears shot up. She did what?!! Blueberry thought for a few moments, gave me a little apologetic smile, and said “Well, you see, sometimes my bodyguard gets, well, heh, peckish…” Charnel made a look of pure disgust, and I was only resisting the urge to make new holes on Blueberry for me to stick sharp things into by thinking about where I would stick them into. She was going to pay for that later. She had a lot to pay for, but I suppose one more thing was a drop in the ocean. A tiny moment of silence overtook the little morbid room, and after another smelly puff Charnel threw both her hooves together and broke out into a full blown smile. I was sure I was going to die. “Actually, I don't care why you two are together, and I do not need to. Because I have a job for you two.” Oh Discord, the things I will do to you, Blueberry. Blueberry spoke up. “But we have to fix the radio tower-” Charnel made a little snarl, and her tobacco-bundle suddenly combusted! “The radio tower is being worked on by my ponies, Scribe! You are mine now!” Blueberry made a little meep. I just stayed quiet, in hopes that I would not become another ash pile on the desk. Charnel, suddenly regaining control of her temper, just gave another award-winning smile. The award being the prized Most Likely to Have Been a Former Raider Princess . “ I suppose you have no idea who I am, do you?” “I had no idea who the NCR was three days ago.” I said honestly. Blueberry just face-hoofed. Charnel gave a me a look that, if it was not so horribly possible, I would say was smoldering. Speaking of smolders, the room smelled like a furnace. Filled with plastic. Plastic that was also rotten. Somehow. Charnel made a sneer as she blew some of the toxic smoke to the ceiling.“Minotaur, a year ago I was on the front lines slaughtering your kind. If you asked my ponies, they would say there are more charred corpses decorating there lands that I created than any other solder combined. That's a exaggeration, of course, but only a small one." At that, she looked up at the ceiling, seemingly lost in happy memories. "The skull behind me belonged to the one who put me out of active duty. The brute gored me in the chest and broke almost half my ribs. To compensate. I cooked him alive in a burning building and ate him. Reminds me of brahman, really.” Oh, well, you probably taste like...ashes and smoke. Blueberry promptly trotted over to the makeshift trash can and vomited. Charnel just took a shot of whatever was in the glass, took a moment to savor it, and looked on as Blueberry got back into her chair with something akin to satisfaction. “But I am feeling kind today. I have something that needs to be sent to a pony in Tauronto, and its something that must remain off the record, if one will. Something that I cannot involve the NCR with. And luckily, you two might just be able to survive a trip into that terrible place.” Wait, terrible? “Do you have any idea who the Pure are, Blueberry Cream?” Well, they sounded nice. Blueberry gave a shocked gasp. Well, that’s not good. “The-they are...unicorn...extremists. They came from some sort of stable in the north, and they think they are descendants of equestrian mages, petty nobility, and other such groups. They call themselves the Pure because, while they accept any unicorn of sufficient power into there ranks, they run a large slaving operation and any non-unicorn under their command are slaves or worse. ” I blinked, as did Charnel. That’s it, she’s telling me everything about this place after this mess. If we live. No more secrets. “Okay, then, you know them. Good. Anyway, my sister is getting married, and I just wanted to send a letter of congratulations.” A genuine envelope floated out of desk drawer and landed gently on the table. Blueberry gave her a possibly genuine smile. “Oh, that’s wonderful.” Charnel gave a snort, which lacked the stream of smoke I expected. “Oh, not really. Pyra could do better than the halfwit she’s marrying. Some crazy wild-haired stable pony that managed to pass the tests to get in named Boffenspark.” What. Who would name a foal that. Even Blueberry frowned a little.. Charnel didn't think the name was worth commenting on, though, considering she just kept going. “Anyway, you two are leaving tonight. Your sharing a room together till then, don't want the troops to get trigger-happy with a minotaur roaming about. You are getting your cart back, but I am sorry to say that my ponies buried the corpse you were planning on snacking on.” Blueberry did not look at me, and I did not want her too. She needs to come up with better lies. However, I had a question. “How will you know that we gave them the letter in time?” Charnel just gave me another wolfish smile. “I am going up there in two weeks time. If you have done so, I will know. Now, go along now. I am done with you two. Your room is down the hall. Stay in it until I come and see you.” For whatever reason, I felt the room become hotter. Not hot enough to sweat, but combined with the acrid smell and the distinct knowledge of there being a cannibal in the room... Well, I just sat up, pushed my chair away, and quickly stepped out of the room which I faintly suspected was something akin to a portal to Tartarus. And yet, the only thing on my mind were questions. Questions I knew Blueberry had the answers to.