//------------------------------// // Service with a Smile // Story: Wild Card // by Barrel-of-fun //------------------------------// I had no idea how long I had been unconscious and tied to that damn chair. Apparently it had been long enough for the various traders and merchants of Manehatten to wake up and set up their stalls. It had also been long enough for the customers to crowd the streets in search of an early morning bargain. The route to the hospital passed through the market district, meaning that the streets were packed with an impressive array of beings. Ponies, zebra, griffins, minotaurs and a few creatures I could not identify formed a physical wall of flesh in front of me. I even saw a few teenage dragons flowing through the crowd, their scaly forms slinking between the largely fur-covered populace. Even with my experience at moving through heavily populated areas, picking the occasional pocket, I wouldn’t be able to move at any decent speed through this. Thankfully, I was rather creative and was thus able to think of alternatives. I quickly ducked down a side street and began to hunt for my target; someway of scaling the side of a building. Not an easy find, considering that the majority of the buildings in Manehatten were at least three stories high, but I was as lucky as always. Someone had been negligent enough to leave a rubbish bin underneath a low-built window, allowing me the foothold I needed to begin scaling the building. From there it was just a simple job of going from window to window on my ascent to the rooftop. Standing there, looking over the city of Manehatten, from the marble towers of the noble district to the rough taverns of the waterfront, I think I finally know what Leonardo DiCaprio felt when he shouted “I’m the king of the world!”. He probably felt quite cold. The wind up at this height is devastating; it just rips straight through you. Pulling the collar up on my coat, despite its inefficiency to protect against the wind, I set off, moving swiftly across the first rooftop and leaning over the side to judge the distance to the next. I let out a whistle as I saw the dizzying height I was currently at, the crowd milling about below looked like multi-coloured ants from up here. I stepped back from the edge before any sense of unease could sink in and walked away, turning to look back at the jump. I leaned down into a runner’s start position and closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath before letting it out in one explosive burst as I shot forward towards the edge… ...and leapt. Unlike the airborne Ace, Vibrant Melody had her hoofs planted firmly on the ground. Looking up at the large building in front of her, she contented herself with imagining what she would do when she got all these troublemakers in one place. “Boss? Boss?” A voice suddenly broke through her reverie. “What?” She snapped at the henchpony who was addressing her, causing all the ponies around her to shrink back from her wrath. “Are we going to move in?” The brave stallion asked. “Are you sure they’re in there?” She responded. “Fairly sure, it is the only main hospital in the city.” He said, sounding far too smug for her tastes. “Very well then, we move.” Her crew began to trot forward. Melody paused and stopped the stallion who had questioned her. “I’m going to be honest with you here, after all Honesty is an Element. If you ever question me again, I’ll hand you off to some of the dock stallions and you’ll be their new male mare, understand?” Gulping, the stallion nodded his head so hard it might have rattled his brain. “Good stallion.” She said, patting him condescendingly on the cheek. “Let’s get to work then.” “Thank you very much.” Summer said as she levitated a couple of pillows off of the back of a hospital nurse who had brought them round. The stallion nodded once, his white hat with its distinctive red cross bouncing on his head. Despite her kind words, Summer was a bit shocked at the attitude of the staff in the hospital. She had been forced to go all the way down to the bottom floor of the hospital, talk to the receptionist, find a nurse and then follow him all the way to a storage room before she had been able to get some simple pillows for her dad’s aching back. She was about to head upstairs when she heard a disturbance behind her. The sound of multiple hooves striking the floor in sequence, along with a dead silence that any Guard worth their salt would recognize as suspicious. Ponies tend to make a lot of noise when they go about their lives normally, it is only when they stop making those noises and start being professionally quiet that you should watch your flank.  She sent a quick glance over her shoulder at the party that had just come in. A large group of scruffy looking ponies wandered through the foyer, followed quickly by a vicious-looking scarred mare. The other ponies parted to allow her through, where she commenced to practically bark something at the terrified receptionist. Summer couldn’t make out what was being said, but judging by the tone of the angry mare, it definitely wasn’t good. She turned and scurried up the stairs, throwing the pillows to one side as she went. Being raised by a sailor had taught her a thing or two about how to spot a storm on the horizon and the mare downstairs is what Swift Storm would have called a ‘thundering bitch at sea’ which roughly translated to the sort of storm that no sane pony would go anywhere near. The bigwig nautical academics would have called it a ‘Storm Force 8 Type 3 Storm.’ Summer much preferred her dad’s way of saying it though. It had a sort of…poetry to it. The unicorn mare shot up the stairs quicker than she had ever travelled before, arriving at her father’s room in record time. Predictably the old coot had fallen asleep whilst she had been out but Iron was still there, his giant body awkwardly folded up onto one of the pint-sized pony chairs as he read a newspaper. Summer had to suppress a giggle, despite her worries, at the small pair of sophisticated-looking glasses that were perched upon the end of Iron Will’s muzzle as he read. “Iron, we’ve got trouble.” She stated simply. “Oh?” He replied, idly licking one finger and turning a page. “What sort of trouble?” “The sort of trouble that I would prefer not to be around to face.” This caused Iron to calmly fold his newspaper up, slowly take off his glasses and put them on the bedside table before rising up out of his chair to his full height. He then cracked his knuckles and began to stretch, flexing and loosening each muscle in his upper body. “Let’s talk tactics then. What have we got?” He said as he leaned down to touch his hooves. Summer stared for a minute at the minotaur, amazed by how well he was taking this, before shaking her head once. “I’d say around twenty ponies of various races. These aren’t any dockyard goons though; I’m guessing professionals or experienced criminals at the very least.” “Advantages?” Summer decided to join him in stretching; getting her back legs warmed up with some practice bucks. Assault magic may be her forte but she might be forced to dish out a kick or two, especially in such close quarters. “Well, we’ve got a single entrance to the room so they’ll have to come through there, no windows for any pegasi to flank us. They’ll have at least a couple of strong unicorns with them so expect some magical artillery, though I’ll try and take them out first.” “Got it.” Iron replied, swinging his arms around and twisting his torso. “I’ll take the entrance; they’ll have some trouble getting past me, whilst you pour as much fire as you can into them. I’ll have to stick to straight punches though, I don’t really have enough room for swings. Anything else?” He finished his exercises and took up his position in front of the door. Summer joined him, standing just behind and to the right of his position, horn trained on the wooden door. “Nope, let’s get to it then.” They stood there for a few minutes, eyes focused and bodies tense as they waited for the inevitable assault. Eventually they heard it, the noise of the elevator reaching their floor, followed by the marching of hooves down to their door. There was a moment of whispering from outside and then silence. “Hey Summer,” Iron said, glancing over to her, “Have you ever heard of a pre-emptive strike?” Before Summer could respond that ‘of course she had heard of a pre-emptive strike, what sort of idiot did he take her for?’ Iron had shot forward, placing all of his considerable muscle mass behind a single, powerful kick to the centre of the door. The wooden frame, not being nearly sturdy enough to handle such a strike, buckled under the force of it. Yet, unlike what Iron was hoping for, it didn’t got flying out into the corridor and slam into a pony, instead his hoof when directly through the door and into the face of one of their soon-to-be attackers. The assaulted pony fell back, clutching at his broken nose and swearing profusely. Slightly embarrassed, Iron withdrew his hoof and leaned down to look through the hole he had created. On the other side, a particular mare had the same idea, and Iron found himself meeting the furious gaze of Vibrant Melody. For a moment Iron thought she was just going to try and use her powerful gaze to burn a hole through his head, but then her lips, scar and all, pulled back into a vicious, crazy smile. “Summer, I think they’re a bit annoyed at us.” Iron understated as he got back up to his full height to brace himself for the coming charge. “Really? And here I was thinking they were room service.” Summer replied, lighting up her horn in preparation. She shot a quick grin over to him, a fierce little smile that spoke more of excitement for the coming battle than any sort of apprehension. Iron returned the smile in full force, eyes shining with a brutal eagerness. To be honest, they were both as bad as each other. A shouted command came from outside, followed by the door being unceremoniously kicked in with a quick buck. Two ponies filled the doorway, with a single pegasus hovering above them and even more ponies crowding behind, including the scarred mare who was commanding the assault. For a moment, the two sides locked eyes, a tense anticipation for violence filled the air as each wondered who would be the first to break this fragile tension and make the first move. It was a beautiful example of the calm before the storm, the sort that artists and poets can only hope to witness one day so that they may properly capture the spirit of it. Then Iron had to go and ruin it by grabbing a chair and slamming it directly into one of the lead pony’s faces, followed by Summer blasting the other with a bolt of pure energy. With a roar, the pirates began to pile into the room, driven onwards by thoughts of avenging their comrades as well as the fear of the psychopathic mare who gave them their orders. Iron leapt forward, almost gleefully, into battle and Summer backed him up with her magic. The battle had begun. In the background, Swift Storm continued to sleep peacefully, unaware of the events unfolding merely metres away. Making my way across the rooftops of Manehatten had been several things. It had, first and foremost, been very cold, it had also been terrifying, exhausting and completely exhilarating. Street travel is going to seem positively mundane to me from now on. Pegasi have got to be the luckiest beings in all existence, being born with the ability to not be tied constantly to the ground. If it was possible to steal a pair of wings, I would do it in an instant. Provided I’m not depriving anyone innocent of them of course. I was now stood on the roof of Manehatten General Hospital, no small feat considering the size of the damn building. Thankfully, there had been a crane nearby that I could climb and leap across to get to the rooftop. Now though, I was faced with an entirely new dilemma. What was the best way to get into the hospital? On one hand, there was the stairs, otherwise known as the normal, boring way to get about. On the other hand… …was this nice shiny ventilation shaft. Decisions, decisions. After a moment I had decided upon a way of finding out what to do. I pulled out a single gold bit that I had in my pocket and looked at it. On one side was the stylized symbol of the sun that served as the mark of Celestia, and on the other, the crescent moon of Luna. Celestia was probably the safer, more boring princess whilst, from what I had seen so far, Luna pretty much emphasised wild recklessness. I ran the coin over my fingers before flicking it up into the air with my thumb, catching it in my other hand when it came down. Luna. Ventilation shaft it is. Going through the ventilation shafts always works in movies though.