//------------------------------// // 06 [Arc 01 - Perturbation, Part Two] // Story: Metanoia // by littlerobotbird //------------------------------// "I can sleep later…" "Dang it, girl. You ain't doin' anypony any good keepin’ this up. It’s been three days straight for Celestia’s sake." "Mmf… Later." "…" "…" "Dang it… fine…" "…" "Twilight?" "…" "You okay, sugarcube?" "Just talked to the nurses…" "What'd she say?" "Th-they don't know what to do. It's been weeks now and sh-she just doesn't seem to be getting any better. She just… she just won't wake up…" "It's okay, Twi. We’re all scared." "It's all my fault… I-I—" "Not this again… Twi, don't make it so I have t’buck sense inta ya. Weren't nopony's fault. Nopony's, got it?" "I could have been stronger or smarter or… something…" "Can't go changin' the past, Twi. Hindsight ain’t somethin’ t’focus on at times like this." "But…" "We need you here, Twi. Here and now." "I know…" "…" "…" "We’ve got to keep strong… for her." "I know…" "…" "There's something else…" "What’s that?" "They're hiding something." "What would they be hiding?" “…” "Twi?" "I’m not sure… but there's something that they're not telling us…" “She wouldn't do that… would she?” “I wouldn't have thought so… but I've known her long enough to know when she's keeping something from me. But about something so serious…?” “…” “It’s just…” "…" "…" "H-hello?" "Room's private, mister." "I was told this is where—" "What are you doing here?" “…” "I came to—" "To see her?" "Y-yes…" "Get out." "What's all this about, sugarcube?" "Just get him out." "I… I'm s—" "It's too late for that." "…" "Y'know what? I'm getting some air… and if he's still here when I get back…" "…" "You don't deserve her, you know? You don't even deserve to look at her." "…" "…" "The heck was all that?" "…" "I'm sorry, sir. She's not normally like that…" "No, she was right. I’m years too late here. I’m sorry… I’ll go." [o-0-o] The little filly watched her friend shrink into the bustling backstreets of Cloudsdale. The smile she had worn faded slowly as the cyan pegasus had vanished from sight, slowly replaced by a frown. She was supposed to be happy, wasn't she? Happy for her friend's new success? Her new opportunity? After all, it wasn't everyday that a filly, not even graduated from flight school, was selected to join the Junior Speedsters. It was the opportunity of a lifetime… at least in foalhood. Another step towards her goal. The Wonderbolts. Rainbow Dash would go on and on about the stunt ponies. It was destiny and nothing was going to stand in the way of her becoming the top flier in all Equestria. Her excitement had been infectious, sweeping up Fluttershyin its grasp with ease. It served as a sharp contrast to the fear they had shared just hours earlier that day. "Oh, Celestia…" "Rainbow? What's wrong, Rainbow?" "It was just a little prank… they wouldn't would they?" "Wouldn't do what?" "You don't think they're going to kick me out do you? Over a little prank?" "Well, the teacher seemed pretty mad, but you've been so much better lately…" "I know, but you haven't seen my record. Lots and lots of red ink…" "Oh…" "Yeah." "Why did you do it?" "Hoops dared me." "And you listened to him?" "He called me a chicken." Fluttershy simply stared. “Chickens can't even fly! Well, not very far, but still!” Fluttershy’s stare grew to a disappointed frown. "Yeah, I know. Be better than them. It just really got under my fur." Fluttershy simply sighed. "When are they calling you in?" "After last bell. Can you stick around? Please?" "Um, usually I get picked up… I don't think my mom would…” Rainbow eyes were wide and teary as she stared at her. “Well… I'm sure she'll understand helping a friend." "Well, you should probably get to your class. Wish me luck." "Good luck, Rainbow." With that she had disappeared into the class, leaving Fluttershy to collect herself. She bit her lip as she strode back to homeroom, worried for both herself and her friend. What in the name of Equestria would she have done without Rainbow as wingpony? She certainly wouldn't have made it as far as she had. She'd already repeated flight camp twice before after all. Sure, Rainbow usually played fast and loose with the rules—she was unusually prone to demerits and even an outright citation or two—but her heart was in the right place. The school could see that, couldn't it? Hours later, though, the pegasus lived up to her moniker as she tore a rainbow-hued path from the school's entry doors to where her friend waited by the gate, smiling from ear to ear. "Omigoshomigoshomigosh! Fluttershy!" "What is it?" "It is the best thing ever!" Rainbow yanked her up into the air, twirling the pair about. "What? What?!" "I just got picked to join the Junior Speedsters!" "That's great news, Rainbow." Fluttershy’s eyes were wide as she was set back down on solid cloud, her tone muted. "I know! I thought I was going to get kicked out for sure. Then the principal walks in with the head of the Junior Speedsters herself. The head, Fluttershy! I got picked by the head of the Junior Speedsters. A former Wonderbolt picked me!" "That's great." "I know! Oh my gosh, I'm so happy. I get to leave for their camp in a week. Can you believe it?! I'm going to be a Junior Speedster! Oh, I am so rubbing this in some faces!" "Rainbow…" "No time, Fluttershy, time for face rubbings!" And with that the spiky maned pegasus was gone, a tumultuous wave of excitement left in her wake. "A week?" The words took a moment to settle in for Fluttershy. She promptly sat down as she came to the realization. It plied at her nerves even more than Rainbow’s possible expulsion. It was the best and the worst all wrapped up. "Fluttershy?" She stayed quiet, mood tipping between fear and joy. "Fluttershy? You okay, honey?" "She's going away, Mom." Fluttershy turned to her mom, the elder pegasus with a comforting hoof stretched over the wall to rest on her shoulder. "Oh, ‘Shy, she's not going away forever. This is just… a great opportunity. But she’ll be back soon enough." "I know… but she's going away." "She'll be back, Fluttershy. You two are friends. Heck, you act like sisters. And she's not the sort to abandon anypony, trust me." "But…" "Don't worry, you've still got a week with her and you'll see her afterwards. Junior Speedsters is usually only a year anyways. Plus, you'll see her whenever they break camp. First break’s coming up at the beginning of summer." "How do you know?" "Hey, your momma’s a dreamer. I followed the Speedsters when I was younger. I was even invited to a tryout or two.” Her mother smiled down at her, eyes lighting up. “Hey, how about we follow along. They usually have Speedsters news in the papers. Maybe we could try a scrapbook or something so you can follow her even when she's not here." "Th-that might be nice." Her mom had been right in some ways. Following her friend had helped. It had helped for years, but she wouldn't see her friend in the flesh again for years after that last week. "I'll miss you, Rainbow," the little filly muttered as the world seemed to come to a halt about her, the words hanging in the air as the school began to shimmer and fade from view. The image of her friend leaving remaining as everything else disappeared into a black fog. She stared a moment longer as the cyan filly vanished fully, leaving her in the silent darkness as tears streamed down her cheeks. "I'm sorry…" The suddenness of the interruption caused the little filly to jerk her head back and forth in search of a source. She spun around to find her the cyan pegasus sitting there. Not as she had been all those years, but as she remembered her. "I'm sorry, Fluttershy. I didn't think I was leaving you like that. I really didn't," the mare whispered quietly, an idle hoof scratching at the nonexistent ground beneath them. "It wasn't your fault. It was an opportunity. I understood that eventually. I shouldn't have taken it how I did," Fluttershy replied, taking a tentative step towards her friend, her still gangly, uncertain legs trembling as she did so. "I'm still sorry. I shouldn't have abandoned you like that. I mean, I'm supposed to be a loyal friend, right?" "You are… were." Fluttershy stumbled with her words as she sat down in front of her friend, pressing a diminutive hoof to the mare's cheek as she stared up. "Why'd you have to go?" "Isn't how either of us thought it'd go, huh?" Rainbow admitted. Her cheek felt so warm to Fluttershy. So alive. Fluttershy could even feel the warmth of the tears that dripped from those ruby eyes, the gentle shifting of flesh beneath the soft cyan fur as she tried to fight them back. Fluttershy looked into those rose-colored eyes and saw only her friend. Not a memory, but her friend. Fluttershy embraced the other pegasus, wrapping her hooves tightly around Rainbow's middle. She pressed her face into the soft fur of her friend's chest, letting the tears fall as they may. She could feel the hooves embracing her in turn, squeezing her delicately, as one might a child. And they simply stayed that way a moment in a comforting silence. Fluttershy snuggled in closer. She wanted to hear her friends heartbeat the way she had listened to her mother's when she'd been younger. The steady rhythm letting her know that everything was alright. Everything would be alright. As she opened her eyes, blinking the tears from them, Fluttershy tightened her hold. A sudden fear coursed through her. "What is this, Rainbow?" "Hm?" "Is this real? Am I just imagining this?" "I don't know… does it matter?" "Maybe not…" Neither said anything for a while as Fluttershy screwed her eyes shut. They simply stayed, unwilling to risk breaking the dream. "Fluttershy?" "Mm?" "Are you mad at me?" The question echoed. It was no longer Rainbow's voice that spoke. It was no longer the mare's embrace that comforted her. There was an older voice now. A familiar voice. The comforting warmth of her friend was replaced by a sharp, abrasive cold. "I…" The words stuck in her throat as she grasped for the cyan pegasus only to find herself grasping at blankets and sheets, the feeling of fur replaced by fabric. "Fluttershy? Are you mad?" the voice was older, but somehow it sounded as though it came from a young colt rather than a full grown pony. It spoke as a broken creature does, a desperate creature… a pitiful, frightened, desperate creature. As the little filly opened her eyes, she stared with tear-stained vision at the bedroom from her childhood. It was night, the room enveloped in a darkness broken only by the soft orange glow of the streetlights outside. The soft tapping of a hoof on the door echoed painfully throughout the room. In vain, she tried to burrow into her bed, perhaps hoping that she might disappear beneath the sheets and end up somewhere else. "Fluttershy, please don't hate me," the voice begged, the tapping of the hoof slowing to a stop before she could hear a him slip to the floor. "Please…" She could hear the soft gasps of ragged breath just outside the door as, body shuddering, she buried her tear-stained face face into a pillow, answering softly for nopony to ever hear. "But I do…" [o-0-o] As the first rays of the new day filtered into the cottage, Fluttershy awoke slowly. Her eyes burned gently as she rubbed a hoof across them as memories of the previous night burbled to the surface. "It's morning, Scoo—" Fluttershy cut herself off abruptly as she lifted her wing to find nopony there. She stared at the spot a moment, sleep still slowing her thoughts. It was strange. There wasn't even an indentation in the cushion. As she ran a hoof over the spot, she felt only the coolness of the fabric. Looking around herself, she found that the couch was back in its usual spot beside Angel's basket. "Angel?" She whispered, a shiver coursing down her spine as she carefully hopped down to the floor. She could hear the telltale sounds of wood scraping against wood coming from the kitchen. At a quick trot, Fluttershy made her way into the kitchen to find the little rabbit hard at work preparing breakfast on the counter, his fur stained with tan batter as he stirred it furiously. "Angel?" The little rabbit turned and gave the pegasus a curt, welcoming nod before returning with greater gusto to his work. Fluttershy drew closer, leaning her forehooves on the counter before continuing the conversation. "Angel, do you know where Scootaloo went?" The rabbit stopped stirring a moment before turning to look at the pegasus with an eyebrow cocked in confusion. "Scootaloo. Little orange pegasus? We had a sleepover not too long ago?" The rabbit nodded, but maintained his look of incredulity. With a few quick movements, the rabbit had dropped his work and had a paw pressed to the pegasus's forehead. "Oh, Angel Bunny. I'm not sick." Angel nodded slowly, but kept the paw on her head before signing rapidly with the other paw to the yellow pegasus. Fluttershy let her eyes widen in surprise as she grasped the rabbit's meaning. "What do you mean nopony?" The rabbit repeated his signs, ending with a forceful squeak of affirmation before waving a paw towards the living room for effect. "Nopony other than me has been here all night. But I slammed a door in her face. Didn't that wake you up?" The rabbit shook his head before again repeating its prior gestures. "But what about the…" Fluttershy trailed off as she glanced back at the kitchen table. It was completely empty, the bandages and tissues from the last night gone. "You didn't?" The rabbit simply shook its head before letting out a worried squeak, nuzzling the pegasus affectionately. "I… I'm fine, Angel. I just had a very odd dream," Fluttershy mumbled in response, a tiny shiver coursing through her as she truly felt the morning's chill. "So, what are you making?" The rabbit gave an excited squeak before tilting the bowl towards the pegasus to reveal the orange and rather chunky mix within. "Carrotcakes?" Angel gave an affirmative salute before beaming at the pegasus excitedly. "That sounds lovely." The rabbit returned to his work with a newfound vigor as Fluttershy sat herself down at the table. She held her head in her hooves, trying to keep the feeling of pressure contained within her skull as it began to throb. There was not a sign anypony had been sitting on the table the night before. There were no signs that anypony beside herself had been in the cottage. Maybe I should go see somepony. Talk to somepony… [o-0-o] The thick, overcast skies of the previous day remained as Fluttershy walked slowly through the largely empty streets of Ponyville. Even as she strolled through the market, where ponies typically gathered en masse for the proper exchange and purchase of their everyday essentials, she hardly saw more than a dozen ponies. It seemed that the townfolk had made themselves scarce. Hardly a dozen stalls were set up, including a familiar apple cart. "Hey, Fluttershy," Applejack greeted her, dropping her usual salesmare’s grin in favor of a softer, more genuine one. "We missed you this morning. Feelin' any better today?" Fluttershy simply stayed silent as she came to the cart, hesitating as she thought over the morning and the night, but most of all the memories. “No. Not really." "It's alright, Fluttershy. Things jus' take time is all. Nopony’s gonna rush you." "I know. You already said so," she replied, perhaps a bit more curtly than she had intended. "Sorry…" "No need to apologize. You're hurtin'… We all are…" "How's business today?" Fluttershy interjected, a change of topic seeming to be for the best. "Well"—Applejack hesitated a moment, Fluttershy glancing away from her questioning gaze—"things are a mite slow today. Was gonna try an' show Apple Bloom the ropes, but, well, you can see for yourself." "Oh." Fluttershy followed her friend’s gaze to find the aforementioned filly curled up in a bushel, napping peacefully. "Don't s'pose things would be none dif'rent were she awake. And don't have the heart to wake her anyways," the work pony mused, giving the sleeping filly an affectionate nuzzle. "She looks peaceful," Fluttershy whispered, watching the gentle rise and fall of the filly's chest before turning to look at the sparsely populated market square. Her thoughts were scattered and confused as her gaze roamed the square. Like Angel said, it didn't happen. Was just an odd dream… As if on cue, an orange blur powered across the market on a scooter, red wagon in tow. "Well, ain't peaceful much longer," Applejack remarked with a roll of her eyes, smile returning to her lips. "Hey, Scoots. Sweetie Belle." "Is Apple Bloom around?" Sweetie Belle asked as the scooter and wagon rolled to a relatively soft stop, skidding to a halt in front of the apple cart. At least they hadn't had the quite spectacular dismount they'd had the previous time Fluttershy had seen them. "Huh? We crusadin' today?" came a tired, confused voice from the opposite side of the cart, Fluttershy watching as the little red-maned filly braced herself on the apple basket as she got her hooves under her proper. "Never-ending crusade, Apple Bloom," Scootaloo stated rather bluntly, grinning in determination. "But doesn't it end when we get our cutie marks?" Sweetie Belle asked, the pegasus filly simply sighing in exasperation at the question. “Well, duh,” Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "But until then. Never. Ending." "Oh…" "Um… I'd really like to, guys, but—" "Aw, Applebloom, you ain't gonna miss nothing round here, I reckon," Applejack interrupted with a playful nudge to her little sister, "Y'all can skedaddle an' go questin' or crusadin' or… whatever. Jus' be careful… I don' want to see y'all makin' the paper again." "Thanks, AJ! We'll be good!" the filly gave her sister and hug before jumping into the wagon. As the little yellow filly fumbled with her helmet, Scootaloo trotted over to Fluttershy, the older pegasus having shrunk behind the cart a bit, trying to pacify the ache that rattled around in her skull. "Fluttershy? You okay?" "Oh, I'm fine," she lied, giving her best smile, which immediately drooped at the little filly's look. "You don't look fine." "I'm not actually," Fluttershy whispered honestly. "Yeah… it sucks," the little filly stated, face falling for a moment before brightening right back up. "But she wouldn’t want us like that, right? Being all mopey and junk?" "No… Probably not." "Um, Fluttershy?" "Yes?" "Did Rainbow ever…" The filly scratched at her head with a hoof as she struggled to find the words before falling silent, looking up expectantly to the older pegasus. "She liked you a lot, Scootaloo. You even remind me of her when we were younger… I think she probably thought the same." This drew a small smile out of the little pegasus before she walked back to the wagon, now with the full complement of crusaders in tow. "Bye," the little orange filly waved before her wings began to buzz, the wagon lurching forward, departing for parts unknown. It wasn't real… so what was it? "Somethin’ on your mind?" "Hunh?" Fluttershy sat up straight as Applejack's question broke her from her thoughts. "Oh, I'm sorry… I was just thinking…" "Doin' a whole lot by the looks of it. Do you want to… talk 'bout it?" Applejack asked, voice tinged with nervousness. Fluttershy bit her lip before moving closer to her friend. "It's just… I keep remembering her, but not always right…" "Not sure I follow, sugarcube." "I had a dream… I think. Scootaloo showed up in the middle of the night and I thought she was Rainbow Dash for a moment…" "You sure she didn't? Show up, I mean… not the other thing." "Angel said there wasn't anypony else at the cottage last night… and Scootaloo didn't seem to remember it if she had been. It just seemed so real… and it was… nice. We talked about Rainbow a little bit." "Huh…" Applejack stared out at the market a moment before turning back to Fluttershy with a reassuring smile. "Reckon you're under quite a bit of stress. Mind tends ta play tricks sometimes… you gettin' enough sleep?" "More than enough, I think. The birds started their migration so they don't wake me early anymore." "Well, maybe you’ve just got a bit of cottage fever. Can't be too healthy to be cooped up, all alone." "Maybe you're right." "Should probably try spending some time out on the town. Might be a bit boring around these parts fer a few hours more." Applejack grimaced as she glanced around the largely deserted market. "Maybe try Rarity’s. Two o' you could have lunch or something. Probably do you better than watchin' stand here like a statue." "That—” Fluttershy began, fighting to mask the disappointment in her voice. "An’ after I’m all done here, how 'bout I come by yer cottage? I can be by right after I drop this here cart off?" "Oh, that sounds lovely," she replied with a tiny smile. It would be nice to have somepony over at the cottage. "Alright, I should be there 'round sunset or so. Only got a few deliveries this afternoon," Applejack stated, giving Fluttershy a wide smile and friendly bump with an elbow. "We'll make a good ol' time of it." "Thanks, Applejack." [o-0-o] "Darling! How are you?" Fluttershy was surprised by how readily Rarity dropped her work when she had walked into the boutique. It was as though she'd been looking for the excuse. "Oh, I'm fine." "You don't look fine, dear," Rarity mused as she pulled the pegasus into the back room of the boutique where the dressing room was set up alongside a pair of plush couches. "Is it so obvious?" Scootaloo had seen right through it after all. "Perhaps not to the average laypony, but I am your friend. Besides, I know it hurts." Rarity smiled as Fluttershy suddenly noticed the thick bags that hung beneath her friend's bloodshot eyes. She'd been crying. Recently too. "None of us are fine." "Nor can we be expected to be. For all her brashness and arrogance, Rainbow was a part of all of us," the unicorn murmured, putting a hoof on Fluttershy's shoulder. "A part to you especially." "Me?" "Well, naturally, darling," Rarity began with a smirk, even as the beginnings of a tear formed in her eye. "You knew her long before any of us did. I daresay you were quite a bit closer than either of you let on." "Wh-what do you mean?" Fluttershy asked, suddenly wary of the direction of the conversation. "Only that you two have always been rather… Oh how to put this…" Fluttershy raised an eyebrow as she stared at the pondering unicorn.  "Well, you know how I have my Sweetie Belle." "Yes." Fluttershy found herself less wary and more confused. "Well, you know how frustrated I can be with her at times?" "Yes…" "But still, for any frustration she shall cause me I wouldn't trade her for the world… do you follow?" "I think so? Maybe… not really." "Well. I think that was the relationship you had with Rainbow… To be perfectly frank, I can't see it any other way," Rarity admitted, drawing the pegasus into a brief embrace. "For all your differences… you were family to one another." "Maybe…" "Not maybe, darling," the unicorn replied, grasping the pegasus's shoulders in her hooves as she looked her directly in the eye. "You balanced one another. With all her attitude, she was never the best with talking things out with other ponies. Likewise, you've always had that shell of yours to retreat into. You've always been a calming presence for her, and she a get-up-and-get-going sort for you." "And now she's gone." "But not forgotten. She's still here, Fluttershy," the unicorn said, pressing a hoof to Fluttershy's chest. "She'll always be in there." "I know you're trying, Rarity… but I just don't know." "Perhaps something to clear our heads. A trip to the spa might do the trick. We missed our usual time last week. Perhaps it would do us both some good to simply relax." Rarity offered with a soft smile. "Maybe…" Fluttershy trailed off with a soft nod of her head. Perhaps it would do some good. If only to rid herself of the headaches that had been plaguing her of late. "Well, no time like the present then," Rarity stated, maintaining her grin as she dropped to the floor with an audible clop and hurried them right out the door. [o-0-o] "It has been quite the while, hasn't it?" "It's been years…" "It's remarkable to think about it… so many years. So many fond memories," Rarity sighed as she soaked beside Fluttershy in the spa's hot tub. They had opted for the most basic of treatments. It wasn't a time for the usual after all. This visit was purposeful. Purely practical. Albeit she was certain Applejack would have snorted at the idea of a practical spa visit. "Feels strange. Talking about it like this…" Fluttershy mumbled, leaning on the edge of the tub, head resting on her fore-hooves as the warm waters relaxed her. "I know… seems like only yesterday that we met, doesn't it?" Fluttershy merely nodded as her eyes began to feel heavier and heavier. She breathed in the warm spa air, the scent of lotus blossoms permeating it. “Odd to think it was such a long time ago. Relatively speaking of course.” “Of course…” It was so relaxing. So warm and peaceful. Perhaps this was the right idea. Her head certainly felt clearer as she let herself drift, the gentle lapping sound of the water lulling her to sleep as the unicorn chatted on. [o-0-o] It was so warm. So peaceful. The homey smell surrounding her. Soft hooves carefully traced the contours of her body, alternating between scrubbing, rubbing and tickling as the foal giggled in her mother's grasp. A simple song filled the air alongside the slapping water as Fluttershy squirmed in those loving hooves. "Oh m'darlin', oh m'darlin'," the older pegasus sang softly as she spread the foal's tiny wing, drizzling warm water over the feathers before repeating the process with the other. "Oh m'darling, Fluttershy..." A high-pitched giggle flung from the pegasus foal’s lungs as her mother scrubbed over her stomach, still thick with baby fat. "Thought you lost and gone forever… darling Fluttershy," she sang as she lifted the tiny, dripping foal from the tub, bundling her into a thick blanket before moving to sit on a thick woven mat. "Sky?" a voice called out from somewhere behind the pair, the infant falling silent as her mother turned towards the door. "We’re in the bathroom," she called back. There came the soft sound of a door opening and closing gently. "Is she asleep?" the voice asked in a soft, nervous tone as the infant's eyes scanned for the source of the new sound. "No, she's just quiet… you know how she is." "Oh… sorry." "Just come over here, Dewy," Sky Skimmer ordered with soft chuckle and the infant gave a soft smile as a pair of turquoise eyes came into view, looking down on her warmly. "She's beautiful, isn't she?" he whispered, running a careful hoof through the infant's short mane before laying down next to them. "Yeah. Kinda makes everything else not matter all that much, doesn’t it?" she replied sadly before leaning down to kiss Fluttershy's forehead. The infant's eyes screwed themselves shut of their own accord as she felt the soft, caring lips upon her… the warmth of the blanket wrapped about her… the gentle eyes watching her. So much love surrounding her… And then, Fluttershy felt cold. As she opened her eyes again, she found herself staring at mound. Somepony's hoof was wrapped around her shoulder, but she could only stare at the mound of newly piled dirt as the words of comfort went unheeded. She didn't bother to look up as the gentle rain soaked through her mane and the simple outfit she wore. She could feel her hooves sinking slowly into the new mud as the hoof left her shoulder. The parting words were lost in the gentle din of the rain. She couldn't cry… she wasn't supposed to cry. That's what granny had told her. She was supposed to be happy… to be happy because that's how she ought to be. But she didn't want to be happy. She didn't want to be content with just memories. She didn't want to think about being happy again. She couldn't think. "Hey… yer her, um, gran'daughter, right?" a nervous voice broke through the quiet rainfall, startling Fluttershy as she crouched as if from a blow. "Uh-huh…" she mumbled in reply, expecting just another empty condolence. "Just wanted to say…" the voice stumbled over her words as the pony drew closer, hoofs sloshing in the puddles. "I know," Fluttershy interrupted, seeing the muddy hooves halt beside her out of the corner of her eye. “I know what you’re going to say.” "Oh, well, even so, I'm sorry fer yer loss… Really I am." "I'm sure you are." She just wanted them to go away. To leave her alone with her thoughts… with her memories. "I am…" the voice said curtly as though some ancient honor had been tarnished by Fluttershy’s implication. "I… I know what it's like…" Fluttershy didn’t reply, her blood simmering beneath the surface. "It gets better after a while. It don't go away… but it gets better." "Does it?" Fluttershy asked softly, a mix of anger and incredulity as she turned to look up into the solemn face of a stetsoned mare. The pegasus stared into the other pony's eyes a moment before the anger drained from her. "Eventually… it does." Fluttershy looked down, sniffling. A hoof wrapped around her shoulders, drawing them closer. "Who did you lose?" "...my parents." "Oh…" It was silent for a while as Fluttershy found herself unable to look up into the mare’s eyes again. She couldn’t look at that pain again. "It still hurts a lot… but you keep on goin'. For them if not for yourself." "But… how do you? I don't even know what to do…" "My granny used ta be real close t’her… she was still in that old cottage by the forest, right?" "Yeah…" "Still helpin' animals an' all?" "Yeah… I helped her with them sometimes. A lot towards the end,” Fluttershy murmured before shifting herself to reveal the trio of butterflies on her flank. “My special talent is working with animals even." "Well, seems you've got an idea, then." "But I can't possibly run it all on my own… it's so big an-and there's so many…" "S'alright, sugarcube. Ain’t expectin' you t’do everything yourself. How 'bout I come by and help you…" "Oh, I couldn't ask you to do that." "You ain't askin'. I'm offerin'. Name's Applejack," the stetsoned pony offered a hoof, giving the pegasus a reassuring smile. "Fluttershy," she replied, finding the work-worn hoof surprisingly gentle as they shook. Both ponies cringed as a crack of thunder rolled across the field, the drizzling rain only seeming to worsen. "Maybe we all ought to be gettin' out of this rain. The Acres are a bit closer than yer cottage I reckon. We can get you nice an' warmed up there." "That sounds… nice." Fluttershy smiled as the work pony led her away from the grave. "What neighbors, and friends, are s'posed ta do, Fluttershy," Applejack stated, flipping her hat onto the pegasus with deft jerk of her head. "It'll keep the rain out of yer eyes. C'mon." Fluttershy allowed herself a little smile as she adjusted the stetson, following the slow trot of the farm mare. She closed her eyes, following the sounds of Applejack's sloshing hoof steps as she thought to herself a moment. Maybe the farm mare was right and it was what Granny had meant for her. Maybe it was how she was supposed to go on… how she was supposed to keep Granny going on. "Applejack?" "Yeah?" "Thank you." "T'ain't nothing, darling." "Huh?" Fluttershy intoned, eyes snapping open. "Oh it's nothing, darling. Really, it was my pleasure," the white unicorn stated with a certain satisfaction as she positively beamed at the flustered pegasus. It certainly wasn't what Fluttershy had expected when she had strolled into the boutique looking to have a hole in her granny's old coat properly patched for the upcoming winter. "Um… but about my—" "Oh darling, you mustn't wear that old thing, you need something to help you shine!" The unicorn gesticulated excitedly as she levitated the coat onto a nearby hook. "And now that we've got you hair done to properly frame that wonderful bone structure…" "What?" "It's a compliment, darling. Go with it. You really do have a model's physique you know." "I… um, thank you?" "Think nothing of it, darling. You really should try the spa sometime," the unicorn stated, levitating all sorts of makeup and other items of beautification as she curved around the slightly cowering pegasus. "Ponyville may be a small town, but the sisters have all the refinements of a pair of first class Manehattan resort. It's a surprise we've been able to keep them from being snatched up!" "A spa might be nice… but I don't really have the bits for something like that." "You simply must treat yourself to it sometime. It is worth every bit, I swear. A pony of your beauty absolutely must go…" The unicorn trailed off momentarily as she ran a bit a eyeliner carefully around her subject's eye. "Oh! In fact, we could go together!" "I couldn't let you do that." "No excuses, darling. Rarity Unicorn does not let fabulosity such as yours go to waste. It would be positively criminal," the unicorn stated as though it were Princess Celestia's honor and the fate of Equestria on the line, stature and face suggesting a moment of genuine import before she broke into the excited smile of a little filly. "Besides, I've wanted somepony to go to spa with. Oh, we will be the best of friends!" "Friends?" "Of course, darling, two fabulous ponies like ourselves should most certainly be acquainted and by the state of your mane I am most confident that you are in need of a friend such as I," Rarity finished with a flourish, flipping a mirror around to reveal Fluttershy's reflection. The tangled mess that had been her mane was straight and flowing now, several flower blossoms weaved through the strands of hair. Her once dull yellow coat now almost shimmered in the soft light of the boutique, even her cutie mark seemed to glow with a newfound brilliance. The make up Rarity had used provided only a subtle accent of the pegasi's natural features… a bit of blush on her cheeks mixing with the rampant blush she felt. "I look… nice…" "Oh, I do hope you mean more than simply nice, dear. You look absolutely fabulous if I do say so myself." The unicorn beamed knowingly as her magic quietly straightened a few stray hairs."Of course, when you start with such a wonderful base… well, I can't say I'm not more than a tad jealous. You are, as they say, a natural beauty…" She held for a moment, waiting for the pegasus to chime in. "Fluttershy." "Charmed to meet you, Fluttershy. I am certain we are going to be the best of friends, you and I." Fluttershy couldn't help but smile as Rarity turned her from side to side, showing off every detail of the new and, as the unicorn might have put it, fabulosified Fluttershy. "Thank you, Rarity," Fluttershy whispered as the shop began to darken and the unicorn faded away. The pegasus closed her eyes, savoring the warmth of the memory before she felt something familiar surround her. It was so warm. So peaceful. Those soft hooves on her body. The giggle of a little foal. The splash of water. A simple song filled the air. "Oh m'darlin', oh m'darlin'…" But the light had faded. The hooves had vanished from her sides. "Oh m'darling, Fluttershy…" The warm water had gone cold as the foal slipped below the surface. Cold eyes stared through the water as she sank deeper and deeper. Deeper and deeper. "Thought you lost and gone forever…” Deeper and deeper into the endless dark. “… darling Fluttershy…" [o-0-o] She awoke shuddering and wet. She shivered, partly from the inhospitable cold, partly from the unexplainable fear that coursed through her. Frightened turquoise eyes darted about the empty room she found herself in. She couldn't remember coming in here. She certainly couldn't recall a reason for her to be alone in an abandoned building. She couldn't even recall having left on an errand that would have required such a detour. “Hello?” she whispered as she rose from the floor, body soaked and shivering in the cool, stagnant air. There was no answer as she walked on hoof-tips towards the only visible door in the room. She glanced at the window to find that the sun was going down rapidly. It would be dark soon. She had to get home. She was supposed to meet somepony there. She was no longer sure who, but there was somepony waiting for her, she was sure of it. “Anypony here?” She nervously grasped the door ring with a hoof, opening it with a slight shudder as even cooler air rushed in around her. “I'm going to leave now… if that's okay with you…” Quickly and quietly, she slipped out the door. As the door slammed shut, she began to gallop. Hooves striking the ground hard as she made for home, something in the air. The streets of Ponyville were deserted as she ran past, dark windows lining the houses, unlit lampposts lining the streets. She ran without a care for this strange happenstance until she came upon a certain building. It was an old shop, done up to look like an old merry-go-round from some long-forgotten state fair, but utterly devoid of color. Its windows seemed to stare back at her with empty husks. Then the building gave a shudder and a shake, a loud crack driving the pegasus back to her hooves. She just wanted to be home. Away from all this strangeness. She didn't look back to see the shop and the world twisting behind, the shop collapsing, roof, walls and windows into a heap that was soon absorbed into the dark. She simply kept up her gallop, Ponyville streaming past. As her hooves brought her to the comfort of her cottage and the door clicked shut behind her, the darkness became complete. The moon did not rise. The stars did not appear. The waking world simply vanished into the dark.