Chapter 9: Tourist Trap
I was beset by two skilled opponents. They blocked every attack, anticipated every move. I was on the ropes, the credits were about to roll. They prepped the finishing blow.
“You seriously have never had a girlfriend before?” Sorbet asked, the corner of her mouth twitching slightly. Éclair was leaning in while chewing on some hardtack.
“Yeah, I haven’t. Why is this a big deal for you?” I asked.
“How old are you?”
“Twenty four,” I answered.
“Hell son, ponies have married and had their first foal by now. The rest are either dead or not of an applicable orientation. You’re not…”
“I like the ladies.”
“Figured, but sometimes it’s hard to tell.”
“Well how about it then, why haven’t you had a significant other?” Éclair jumped in the conversation.
“I guess I never really looked.”
“That is not an acceptable answer!” She was yelling at me now. “Mares should be throwing themselves at you like your Corn the Barbarian!”
“Éclair! You’re much too young to be reading that sort of thing,” Sorbet jumped in.
“C’mon mum, its classic literature!” Éclair pouted.
“Everything is classic literature!” Sorbet shot back. I took this chance to break away from the conversation. I looked over the map. Judging from the distance we had covered, we were less than a day to Summer Sunset isle. I was hoping it was those dots in the horizon.
“Hey, Riptide? I see something coming up from behind us.” Sorbet was pointing of the aft end of The Poseidon. A flashing light aboard a vessel was catching up to us.
“Signal back. Maybe we can pawn off some of this swag,” I said, gesturing to our collection of loot. Sorbet lifted her PipBuck into the air and began signaling back with its lamp function. I slid my cloak on over my tail. Just because I’m on the radio doesn’t make it safe to expose myself. The vessel changed course to bring itself alongside us.
The familiar PRINCESS stencil came into view. It was Ghost’s yacht. The leather bound mare stood atop the cabin as it matched out pace.
“I had figured it was you,” Ghost said, hopping down to the main deck. “You look like you’re doing well for yourself.” She was eyeing me with her goggled piercing gaze.
“More along the lines of being a trouble magnet. What are you doing in this neck of the waves?” I asked. I think I saw a smile under her garments.
“I’m on my way back from fairy hunting,” She stated simply. Éclair bounded up past me with stars in her eyes.
“You hunt fairies?! Did you catch one? What do they look like? What are they!?” she spouted out. Ghost stepped back a little at the little filly’s barrage of questions.
“Yes, I did find one actually,” she said. Éclair made a noise that could only be described as a squee. Ghost reached into a bag and pulled out- OH SHIT! I shoved Éclair to the side like a rag doll.
“Garden of the Flutter Ponies: 2 Return to Castle Midnight! Intact! Oh my goddesses and the great spirits from beyond, you are a gift from the heavens,” I exclaimed. I couldn’t believe it was actually there! In front of me just waiting to be watched.
“I thought that the little one would be more excited,” Ghost mused. Éclair stood herself back up.
“What’s that?”
“What’s that!? Why that’s the greatest animated film ever to come out before the war! The Magnum Opus of Doo Doodles!”
“What’s Doo Doodles?”
“Do not smite the child, for she is merely ignorant,” I prayed to the almighty movie gods aloud. “Doo Doodles is an entertainment company based out of Summer Sunset Isle, started by the legendary animator Dinky Doo.” Éclair cocked her head to the side. *Sigh* save this child.
“They make cartoons,” I stated flatly.
“Oh! Did they make The Captain Equestria shorts?”
“Yes Éclair yes they did.” I replied. I whipped back to Ghost who I could see was amused.
“How much do you want for it?” I asked. It had to be made mine! She looked the tape, then back to me. I could hear the leather move with her frown.
“Two hundred thousand. No less.” That shattering sound you heard? That was my heart. It had… to be made mine!
“I will give you this small child as collateral until I can come up with the money.” I lifted up Éclair with my telekinesis.
“No deal,” she said flatly. The sound of a cleared throat broke the dealings.
“If you done trying to use my daughter as a bargaining chip, then maybe we can get some actual deals done.” Sorbet dragged up the spare loot we had.
“Fine… ” I slumped down slightly, shooting both Ghost and Sorbet a half hearted glare, before curling up in the corner. I’m not above pouting when I don’t get what I want. Using a child as collateral is a perfectly legitimate form of bartering.
The method that Sorbet seemed to use could only be described as “Coaxing.” During my time staring at the slightly misty direction we were headed, all could hear from her was “What about if I did this?” and “If you keep that, what would take for the rest of it?”
I found myself looking at the copy of GotFP: 2, like a lover that spurned me. Cruelly, Ghost had left it among the things being bargained for and Sorbet had callously refused to include in her wish list. We did get some useful things though. Some more 30.06 ammo, a grenade, and a Traveler’s micro guide to The Summer Sunset Isle Territory. A tome Éclair took happily, probably due to the colorful illustrations. I however feel that Ghost made out like a bandit on the deal. Mainly because not only did she have the most glorious piece of animated history in her possession, but she now had Captain Equestria Vol. 1! Éclair gave it up without a fuss, saying she read it forty times already… I need more nerd friends.
I stared lazily out at the open expanse. Eight pretty clouds in descending size approached us from far off. They had a twinge of green in them, must have been thunderclouds. Electrified air tends to get the green effect.
“LAND HO!”
“Wait what?”
Éclair was leaning over the edge of the ship with her hoof extended forward towards the pretty thunderclouds. I raised my eyebrow and looked at her funny like she drank the seawater. She pulled out the Traveler’s guide propped it against the siding between the two of us.
“The Summer Sunset Isle Territory is actually eight islands instead of one. It is named after the second largest island and home 85% of the Territory’s population. When first discovered by Equestria in the late third age before the return of Princess Luna it was originally mistaken for a grouping of thunderclouds.” Éclair read the text out dutifully. I leaned over her and looked at the guide myself.
“Of the eight islands, only four are actually inhabited by Equestrians. Those four are Summer Sunset, Four Seasons, Maw Rock, and Eagle Islands. The other islands, are no go zones for various reasons. Sandbar isle has no freshwater and is uninhabitable. Kalivou is a reservation to the indigenous Pudu Tribes. Red Blaze Island is an active volcano, and ‘Bull’s-eye’ Isle is used as a target range for the Equestrian Navy,” she continued.
“The Navy had a big influence here I take it.”
“Getting to that… The Summer Sunset Isle Territory is home to the largest number of Equestrian military installations per square mile in all of owned Equestria.”
“Most of it Navy, And R and D.” Sorbet chimed in. “You don’t know this?”
“Outside of the pre movie newsreel shorts, no I don’t. So where on Summer Sunset are we headed?” I asked. Sorbet busted out the map. She pointed to the second largest island, slightly inland from Pineapple Harbor.
I looked over at Ghost, or rather where she was. She was no longer there, nor was her boat. I swiveled my head around, looking for her. A shrinking speck in the horizon caught my eye. Somepony bopped me in the back of the head.
“Agh! What was that for?” I looked at the two girls, Éclair was pouting
“Did you even pay attention to me? I just explained the whole history of Captain Equestria’s induction into the Royal Navy!” Éclair asked pointing her hoof at me.
“Nope!” I smiled. She snarled and lunged at me. I dove off the side of the boat. Éclair was leaning over the side.
“No fair!” She yelled at me.
“Bet I can reach the island before you do!” I called back, smiling as wide as I could. She smirked. I whipped my tail forwards and splashed her with about a gallon of water. I threw myself toward the islands.
“All hooves! Full sail!” Éclair ordered to no one in particular. Sorbet just rolled her eyes.
--- --- --- --- --- ---
I treaded water. It was about all I could do, seeing what I was seeing. I was by a cliff. The spray of the waterfall next to me brought the temperature from a hot day to a slightly chilly air. The reefs below me had a sort of… radiance. The evening sun mixed with the coral below me, reflecting a kaleidoscope of colors onto the cliffside. But this was nothing to what was before me.
A mountain, the tallest I had ever seen above the waves, reaching high into the sky covered and coated with the swaying of tropical trees. The lightest gusts of wind caused waves of green to form on the land. A collection of clouds formed at its peak, swirling about like a slow fan.
Summer Sunset Island. The panning landscape scenes never really do the real thing justice.
“No Time for sightseeing, slow poke.” Éclair said beaming. The Poseidon crept its way past me.
“I had a stitch!” I protested. She stuck her tongue out at me. The boat kept going ahead of me. I followed suit and climbed aboard. Judging from the directions from Sorbet’s PipBuck and references from the map we had, we were on the southernmost point of Summer sunset. Our destination was just around the bend in the coastline.
Smooth leaves and coast gave way to grey concrete, cold steel, and the most hodgepodge assortment of vessels to float on water. Small flat boats to full galleys, the docks had most every kind of non-military ship available. The pier itself was huge, designed for massive battleships or luxury cruise liners, with wooden extensions built off of it. The wooden extensions, while worn, looked much newer than the pier itself.
I donned my cloak. Sorbet steered us in towards an open spot. A bearded pony with three legs was there to meet us.
“Ahoy hoy strangers! What business have ye here in Diamond Harbor?” he called to us. His voice was seasoned and deep, but had good cheer to it. As far as I could tell anyways.
“Trade venture, out of Steam Town,” I responded to the old stallion. Sorbet nodded, playing along with the story. He whistled and smiled.
“Good folk, good folk them. Say, I don’t seem to recall you ever docking here. I know my memory ain’t what it used to be, but I scarcely forget a face.”
“You’d be right, sir. This is our first time at Summer Sunset,” I replied.
“Hoo! That means I get to do the sales pitch! I haven’t done that in years! Now how did it go?” The old stallion searched the back of his mind while he muttered to himself. He stamped his singular front hoof when he finally had it.
“Hello and welcome to Diamond Harbor! The Crown Jewel of Summer Sunset Island. I’m Salty Seas, your liaison from the Diamond Harbor City Council. As a first time customer of the dock services we give you the discount of two shillings for a week’s time docked as opposed to full price of five. Exchange rate for Summer Sunset shillings is 5 caps a coin,” the old pony recited happily. I wasn’t surprised that they had docking fees. I was, however, surprised they had their own currency.
“And that’s only the basic package. With our new premium offers, you can receive not only a dedicated parking spot of your choice, but a discount on future docking fees and marine repair services,” he continued.
“I think we’ll take the basic package for now. We’re not sure how long we’ll be staying,” Sorbet interjected.
“Fair enough, let me get your ticket.” The stallion rummaged into a pocket where his fourth leg would have been, and produced a numbered ticket. We debarked from the Poseidon. Sorbet paid Salty the five caps. I made my way up the ramp to the concrete portion of the pier.
Each pier had two gigantic naval guns at the end of them, though patches of rust hinted at their disuse. I saw wooden structures, guard towers, lining the piers. Each of the guard towers had spotlights trained in four directions.
I saw a pony suspended in mid-air. You’re gonna laugh, but I thought she was being dangled by something. Then I saw wings. I didn’t think you could do a mid-air backstroke. This was the first pegasus I had ever seen. A pony called to her from below and she swooped down toward the wooden section. I followed her down with my gaze only to see something else I’d never seen before. Black and white stripes coated the ship sales pony at a booth. He was a full blooded zebra, as he had some weird stripe pattern in place of a cutie mark.
“Move it or lose it pal!” a gruff voice called behind me.
“Oh sorry, I di-fuuuuuh?” I turned to see a towering figure behind me. Two horns jutted from either side of its head, and it stood on two legs. It was heavily muscled and covered in fur. It snorted angrily at me as it readjusted the weight of the large crate it was carrying in its upper legs. I quickly slid to the side of it.
“Tourists…” it muttered as it walked past me. Once it cleared my vision I could see Sorbet stifling a giggle.
“Culture shock, much?” she said, approaching me.
“It’s not like I haven’t seen any of this stuff in real life before. I’m allowed some gawking. To be fair, there’s NEVER been a movie on THAT!” I pointed in the general direction of the bipedal hulk.
“Relax tribal boy. You get one free pass.” Sorbet waved away my protests. She moved her gaze to the posts that suspended wire down to the floodlights at each guard tower and towards the inner parts of the city. She stopped moving her head when it reached a flat pane of glass at the top of one of the posts.
“Solar power?” she said aloud. “Figures, that you can use that out here.”
“Try not to get star struck now.”
“Shut it.”
“Now then, next order of business?” I asked our fearless leader.
“We need a place to stay. I doubt they’ll let us stay at the Poseidon after hours,” she said.
“Right then, let’s have a look see.” I responded motioning to the greater part of the city.
We followed the flow of traffic off the pier and onto main street. It was like a scene straight out of a movie. The local yokel gets to the big city for the first time. Signs with lights, buzzing streets, and a jazzy rat pack tune. If the town had been bombed or attacked in any way then it had been masterfully repaired. There was a single ruined building on Main Street. Yellow helmeted ponies were clearing away rubble and rock from it.
Some booths and small shacks were set up on the curb sides. They were of a newer design than the older buildings. They were built from wood. They looked a little less neat than the metal and brick structures, but were by no means ramshackle.
At the end of the street was a saloon-like building attached to a larger much taller building with balconies in every window. A flashing sign on the saloon front bared a name.
“Seaside Apartments,” I read aloud. “Sounds like this is our place.”
“Definitely liking it,” Sorbet replied, pulling Éclair closer to her. We traveled inside. The saloon bit actually was a saloon. Tobacco smoke made the air hazy. A few tables had cards set out on them. The front desk was manned by a pony sized bird. No wait, lion. Hang on. Griffon. Yeah that’s it. A full wall of keys and lock boxes lay behind it.
“How can I help you, sailor,” the griffon addressed me. It was a girl. Her voice was a bit… squawk-y? The cigarette in her mouth bounced up and down as she spoke.
“Got a room for three?” I asked her. The corners of her mouth curled up. She pulled a key from the wall
“A Family vacation. I never thought I’d see the day.” She chuckled.
“We’re not married. He’s my escort,” Sorbet coughed into her hoof.
“Reeeally now. Didn’t think he looked the type to turn tricks!” She laughed a little too loudly at her joke.
“Mum, what’s she on about?” Éclair asked, tugging on her mother’s clothes. Sorbet shoved a hoof in her mouth.
“She means bodyguard.” I flushed red.
“Oh gosh, you are all too easy. Third floor, second on the right.” She jerked a… thumb? Towards the door further inside.
“How much do we owe you?”
“Oh right… thirty caps a night.”
“Not shillings?”
“Do you have shillings?”
“Fair enough…”
We made our way through the door. I grimaced slightly when we walked through. That was a lot of stairs. Usually, I don’t mind stairs. That said, I’m also usually not using my fins to make it look like I’m using four legs.
Three stories and 46 steps later, we opened the door to our new room and I flop inside. I feel a very cool breeze collide with me. The room was simple. It contained a bed, two cabinets, a bathroom, a ceiling fan a wall radiator, and a closet. The bathroom itself had a bathtub, a sink and a toilet. Sorbet stood there, in the door frame, with her jaw on the floor.
“Air conditioning? They have air conditioning out here!?” She gulped and ran past me. Turning the knob on the sink, she stuck her hoof in the water. She quickly pulled it out and shook it, wincing.
“Hot and cold water!” Sorbet exclaimed. She busted out her PipBuck and looked at a dial in the upper right corner of it.
“It’s not even irradiated. It’s pure water!” She was laughing hysterically to herself.
“This is brilliant! No more sleeping in a repurposed lorry for me!” Her natural accent started to flow into something similar to Éclair’s. I poked her in the side.
“Culture shock much?” I echoed.
“Shut it, Riptide.”
“Okay, okay. Now that we got a place to stay. What now?” I asked. She looked around, still a bit giggly.
“We’ll start second thing in the morning,” she answered.
“Second?”
“Well, I figure we can do some shopping before we actually set off,” Sorbet elaborated looking at the setting sun.
“Dibs on the bed!” Éclair shouted and jumps on, bouncing up and down. The springs inside creaked each time she bounced. I shook my head and walked over to the bathtub. I put the stopper in the drain and hopped in.
“Dibs on the tub,” I said, kicking the water on with my tail. I smiled and let my eyes close as the water filled up around me.