//------------------------------// // The Birds & Bees...Oh Please // Story: If These Walls Could Talk // by migzie //------------------------------// For the last week and a half, the crusaders have bounced around Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. They were pointing out baby ads, baby stores, babies they thought were cute… they got themselves pacifier necklaces and even wore baby bibs during the last “Thursday Night Dinner”! Babies. It was ALL about babies. It was no longer about babysitting. It was about a new baby in general. Rarity and Twilight Sparkle even noticed that the crusaders stopped thinking about babysitting. They too, started hinting in their own little adult way about how the newlyweds should have a baby. It would be nice to play hot potato using a new born. It really would be cool to have a new addition to the “family’, for a baby would bring in more love and affection in their lives. Even the Princesses joined in with hinting in conversations. Everyone gathered for a “Wednesday Night Dinner” this week because the second honey moon was to start happening early the next day. Everyone was pretty much there except for Apple Jack, Shining Armor and Spike who were coming late because they had to fix one of the tractors at the farm with Big Mac. Pinkie Pie offered to cook because Fluttershy would be too busy packing for both her and Rainbow Dash. She decided to cook boneless skinless chicken breasts with sautéed mushrooms, spinach, and asparagus in an onion broth on top of brown rice. Those not cooking or packing were in the living room talking. The last couple of weeks all the banter ended up being was about babies. Right now it was about how gays have babies and that lesbians have it easier than the gays. Other topics were on the adoption options and such. That ended quickly when both Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash said they’d prefer to carry and have their own and then eventually adopt. “Who’d be the one to carry a baby in their tummy?” Sweetie Belle asked. Apple Bloom scratches her head. “Fluttershy, of course!” “Duh, Fluttershy! She’s more motherly. Dash is just… AWESOME!!! And I can’t picture her with a big belly!” Scootaloo said in an outburst. That’s when Rainbow Dash walks in. Little did she know, that 1, she was going to play the 20 questions game, and 2, the kids and everyone in the room had a plan involving the Princesses to help magically create a baby, when she said “Actually, I’d pop a kid out.” Rarity and Twilight Sparkle gasped as Scootaloo freaks out after picking up her jaw, “REALLY!?!? What!?!?!? NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!” “Yes, way!” Rainbow Dash said as a matter of fact. “And, Fluttershy will pop one out too.” “At the same time!?!?” the crusaders shouted in unison. “Naw! One baby at a time!” Rainbow Dash answered. “I’m awesome and can handle two rugrats at the same time… but, I’d rather just have one first. Ya’know…” “How will you two do that without a guy?” Sweetie Belle asks. “And sure ya’ll both will hava kid, but wouldn’t yer kid only look like whoevas havin that baby?” Apple Bloom adds. “Ummm, well, we thought about this when we were younger.” Rainbow Dash starts out. “You know how some people or couples who can’t have kids of their own go to a surrogate lady to have a kid for them? Well they put their eggs and sperms in that lady and when the kid pops out she did her job. I personally wouldn’t ever want to have that job, but it pays so much.” “But didn’t you say that you guys… ir girls will be the ones carrying? What do you mean getting a surro… umm serrigate lady to help out?” Scootaloo asks another question. “Well, my egg will be inside Fluttershy and vice versa when either of us have a kid...we'd be the surrogates to each other.” Rainbow Dash looks out the living room towards the kitchen. Her eyes wanders off towards the stair case and sees Fluttershy coming down. “FLUTTERSHY!!! THANK GOODNESS!!! COME HERE!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!” she cries Fluttershy to come over. “What is it, Dashie?” Fluttershy says in concern. “Ummm, help me explain about babies?” Dash says blushing. “Wh-what?” Fluttershy says with a look of surprise. “Ba-babies?!” “YEAH! We want to know how you and Dash will have babies.” Sweetie Belle says as Fluttershy looks at her friends, wife, and then over to the Princesses who were there watching the wedding itself screening on the television. “Where in this conversation are you guys?” Fluttershy sits on Rainbow Dash’s lap. “We were askin bout lezzbians needin a guy er not.” Apple Bloom replies. Twilight Sparkle speaks up about what she read a few years ago in a newspaper. “There was a study that some scientists tested on some mice putting their eggs together to create babies, they succeeded but only managed to make other female mice. Which, actually makes a lot of sense.” “Some people just write to the Princesses to help them.” Rarity joins into the conversation. “We are talking about the people who don’t have access or can say they are family to the Princesses though.” Scootaloo pipes up. “Most ladies can go to the sperm bank and most of the gays try for adoption or that surrogate mother thing I was talking about.” Rainbow Dash says. “This conversation is OVER… too much baby drilling for me! AND I am having a little Pinkie Sense of my own saying that she’s going to…” CRACKLE CRACKLE the intercom cracks “…call us for dinner.” “DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Pinkie Pie yells echoing throughout the house. “Oh, and A.J. and the boys are here.” Everyone ran to the dining room table. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash stayed behind for a minute waiting for the Princesses to head to the table. Princess Celestia speaks, “When the time is right, we three will cast a spell to help you conceive.” “Thanks, Princess…” says Rainbow Dash. “Yes, thank you, Princess.” Fluttershy also says. “Thou hath had a tough classroom tonight, Dash.” Princess Luna says. “Ugh, no kidding. I don’t like thinking about these things unless it’s actually time to!” Rainbow Dash says hoping she didn’t hurt her wife’s feelings. “It’s okay, Dashie… I feel the same way” Fluttershy says giving her a kiss. She took the remote and stopped the wedding tape right when the cake appeared. “It was a very heavenly tasting cake that day AND at your second reception! I cannot wait for dessert! Pinkie Pie is, hands down, the best.” Princess Cadence says last. The five of them followed the smell of the delicious dinner that awaits them.