Chapter 7
I Just Don't Know What Went Wrong
Bluebeard looked up at where Golden Word pointed, and there it was. The royal airship was sailing by overhead... while Bluebeard and his crew lallygagged on the ground!
“Get ye back to the ship, ye dog! The chase is on, and there be not any time for lallygagging!” He immediately began preparations for takeoff. It didn't matter if Silver Lance got on board or not, they had to catch that airship! “Weigh anchor! Raise the lift! Move!” He watched the gleaming golden airship above with intent greed. Soon, it would be his!
Silver Lance barely scrambled aboard before the airship took off. He made it just ahead of the mob of ponies pursuing him. The elderly pony had to content himself with blowing kisses at the ponies, who were shaking their torches and pitchforks at him from the ground.
As the airship rapidly rose, Bluebeard called out to the main deck, “Wench! Where be ye?”
A tap on his shoulder surprised him. There was the spy, right behind him. “Avast ye eldrich wench! How do ye bloody do that?”
“Wouldn't you like to know.” She smirked. “Now why are you yelling again?”
“I'd be having yer advice on how to take that ship.” He pointed up at the royal airship, now starting to draw closer.
“You want my advice?” She scrutinized him suspiciously. “Me, the lowly wench?” Sarcasm dripped from her voice.
Keeping a steady hoof on the helm, Bluebeard glanced over to her with his good eye. Her expression wasn't exactly warm and inviting. “Wench ye may be. I'll grant ye that...”
Her scowl deepened.
“But ye also be a good tactician... at times... maybe.”
“Your respect flatters me,” she deadpanned.
“Aargh! Shove off, will ye! Ye be wanting that royal airship as much as I, so make with the planning!”
She rolled her eyes, but the scowl vanished. “What we have is the element of surprise... and I think I can arrange for a bit of a distraction... I think we should put those to use.”
“Aye, I be listening.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Well...” As she filled him in on her plan, the wicked smile behind his beard grew and grew.
* * *
Princess Celestia relaxed on her golden dais on the stern of the royal airship, watching the scenery below slowly slide by. Other than a little trouble at a mill, everything looked so peaceful and tranquil from this altitude. Even the weather was better than the forecast had predicted, with none of the expected morning drizzle and cloud cover. She glanced over to her sister beside her, truly grateful now that Luna had revived the old tradition of taking the royal airship out to the Summer Sun Celebration. It was so relaxing to have a couple days off, away from the palace, and with only an absolute minimum of servants and courtesans. Why had she ever stopped this tradition in the first place?
Luna must have noticed her looking. “What is the matter, sister?”
“Oh, nothing.” She made another of her (in)famous little unreadable grins. “I'm just grateful that I could once again share this old tradition with you... Everything is just so perfect and relaxing.”
Princess Luna's face blossomed into a sweet smile – but then faded into a confused frown as her eyes darted elsewhere.
“What's wrong, sister?” Celestia knew her sister could be moody at times – ever since that certain unfortunate moon incident – but this was abnormal, even for her.
“Well, that perhaps.” Luna pointed a hoof behind Celestia.
Princess Celestia turned to see what it was, and groaned inwardly. It was a white pegasus with a yellow mane and tail... a familiar white pegasus. It had to be Golden Word. She had ordered him committed after one very memorable royal audience... but it seemed that her solution to this little pony's problem hadn't been as permanent as she had originally hoped.
“Golden Word...” she muttered.
“You know this pony?” Luna asked, hope rising on her face.
“Unfortunately, yes. Prepare yourself, sister.” Celestia suppressed a shudder. “This is not going to be a pleasant conversation... Let's go meet him on the railing, so at least hopefully he won't land on the ship.”
Princess Celestia gathered all the composure she could (which was considerable), and with Luna in tow, headed for the deck railing. She regretted having this sick pony put away, but there was no telling what he might do. It had been unavoidable.
As she stepped up to the edge, most of her royal guards, all pegasi, were already there, on high alert. Soon, the intruder was within screaming range, and the tirade began.
“Behold! I come before thee once more, Great Blasphemers! No more can thine sins remain hidden in shadow! No more can thee lead ponies astray from the true path! For I am come! The true bearer of The Light has come that the blinded masses may be free from thy debauched tyranny. Come forth, Heretic Sisters, that I might confront thee, and cast thee down into thine justly deserved punishment, as foretold by the great prophets of old! Come forth! I summon thee to thine judgment and thine fate, for gone is the...”
Princess Celestia brought her hoof up to her face. When she had first sent this pony off for professional psychological help, his tirade had gone on for five hours... and it seemed even worse this time.
“You know this pony, Sister?” Luna gave her a questioning look.
“Unfortunately, yes.” Celestia sighed. She knew this was bound to be an ordeal, no matter how things turned out. “We've met once before.”
Luna was beginning to cringe. “What is wrong with him?”
“The very best psychologists in Canterlot have been trying to figure that out for seven years now...” Slowly, she shook her head in frustration. “I wonder how he managed to get out?”
“Why do you not simply have him arrested?” Luna asked. “Every guard on the ship now stands at the rail, waiting to.”
Looking to her right and left, Celestia saw this was true... the side of the ship was lined with royal pegasus guards, all primed and ready to take on the threat.
“Patience, Sister.” In truth, Celestia wanted to order that as well, but things just weren't done that way anymore. Sometimes she missed the good old days... “We should at least attempt to reason with him first.”
“...and THY sins shall not be forgiven, for THEE are the Great Temptresses, destined for...”
Celestia winced as the pony's shrill sermon reached a high point... Perhaps Luna was right about this one.
* * *
With his one good eye, Bluebeard stared at the slowly approaching airship. His whole ship sailed in silence; even the parrot on his back made nary a squawk. In this attack, stealth would be crucial, after all. He glanced at the wench next to him for a brief moment. Her plan had better work, or they would all be in for the fight of their lives: a shipload of royal guards – not to mention the princesses themselves – were nothing to sneer at.
Silently, his airship edged ever closer. He made small adjustments in course, making sure they stayed on target. The former captain was tied up below decks and gagged, despite her protests. Everypony had agreed that they couldn't trust her not to shout a warning at the wrong time.
Bluebeard grinned maniacally as his target closed in, the gilded airship's decorations glinting in the sun. It wouldn't be long now! He gave the hoof signal for everypony to gather at the bow. This was it!
A tremendous crash rang out as Bluebeard's ship rammed the royal airship's broadside head-on. The incredible impact sent Bluebeard and his crew tumbling onto the royal airships deck – and more importantly, it sent the royal airship's passengers and crew flying overboard. He skidded to a halt on the now-empty deck and searched for any survivors. He found only one: the royal airship's captain, still desperately clutching the ship's wheel. Quickly, Bluebeard shouted his orders. “Wench! Drop all ballast! Silver! Lift to maximum! Golden Word! Get ye arse on board! Now!” The captain, Bluebeard would deal with himself. He approached the helm, and the pegasus behind it. The royal ship's captain was an impressive stallion, every bit as burly as Bluebeard himself, and sporting a big red mustache. He even wore a captain's hat matching his white fur that made Bluebeard – despite his fine eye patch – burn with envy. “I be the dread pirate, Bluebeard!” he called out, “I be taking ye ship. Surrender now!”
The royal airship's captain gave him an unimpressed sneer. “And...?”
“And I be taking that hat,” Bluebeard challenged, a gleam in his eye.
At that, the captain did seem to take offense. He recoiled, and his eyes widened, “I am Captain Cumulus of the Royal Navy. I do not surrender!”
Bluebeard's face broke into a feral grin. This would be a swashbuckling to remember! He swiped two golden swords from the ceremonial coat of arms on the ship's deck, and tossed one to his opponent. Roaring, “Then have at ye!” he rushed up the steps. Cumulus took a defensive stance at the top, awaiting the storm of irate pirate rolling up the stairs.
Blades clashed as the two captains met. Bluebeard snarled at his opponent through their crossed swords. Cumulus shoved him back – the disadvantage of an uphill battle – but Bluebeard was back at it in no time. He could tell that this mustachioed captain was no swordspony, and slowly but steadily, he forced the royal airship's captain back.
Cumulus slashed at Bluebeard with furious strength, almost gaining back ground, but Bluebeard continued countering expertly. This Royal Navy captain might have strength, but he lacked Bluebeard's skill.
Finally, Bluebeard forced his opponent against the aft railing. “Had ye enough?” Bluebeard taunted, “Be ye ready te give up?”
“Never!” Captain Cumulus launched into a savage slashing attack, straight at Bluebeard's throat.
The airship was rising rapidly now, the stern facing downward at a steep angle, and Bluebeard saw his chance. Rather than blocking the incoming blow, he ducked, dodging beneath it. He then shot back up, aiming a decisive thrust at the now off-balance captain.
Bluebeard's blade plunged into the captain's chest... but being as it was a ceremonial blade, the dulled point didn't penetrate... but being as it was a gold ceremonial sword, its weight was more than enough to send the captain flying overboard.
With a fierce pride in his heart, Bluebeard watched his enemy fall away. He picked up the magnificent captain's hat from the deck where it had fallen, and whispered, “Fare ye well, bold Cumulus. Ye were a worthy foe.” By the time he turned around, his crew had gathered back on the deck. They all watched him expectantly. Rising to the august occasion, he shouted, “Level her off! Set course for Galiponi! Today, we sail the ship of the gods! Today, we be the masters of our fate! Nothing can stop us now!
* * *
From the shore of a small lake Princess Celestia used her magic to carefully control and slow the fall of her airship's captain: the last crewmember in need of rescue. Now, everypony was accounted for and she could breathe a sigh of relief. Above, the pirate airship slowly spiraled downward, and her own sped away, faster than any pegasus could fly.
Sitting on the grassy beach next to her, Luna finally found her voice again. “Sister?”
“Yes, Luna?”
“Did what I think just happened... just happen?” Luna looked as if she had just seen purple striped bananas marching through her bedroom. If not for the distraction of saving the falling crew, Celestia herself would probably be in a similar state of bewilderment.
“I think it did...” She looked up into the sky again; the evidence was irrefutable. “I think it did.”
“What shall we do about it?” Her younger sister seemed to be recovering from the shock, at least a little.
Celestia pondered it for just a moment. “Find me a scroll and a quill. I have a letter to write... to Twilight Sparkle.”
* * *
The End?