//------------------------------// // Questioning My Theories // Story: The Pinkamena Diaries // by FlutterDash777 //------------------------------// -Questioning My Theories I watched as our friends prepared me, and Pinkie's wedding. We had decided upon moving our wedding to a larger location, thus is why we were now standing in Applejack's barn at Sweet Apple Acres. My heart was pounding with anticipation, joy, excitement, and nervousness. My eyes darted from side to side as I observed what everypony was doing. I saw Applejack setting out a large cake on a table that Rainbow Dash set up. Fluttershy was decorating the ceiling with streamers, and balloons. Twilight had a clipboard in hoof, and was magically checking off different things; I was assuming making sure everything was in order. However, my eyes were much more glued onto what Rarity was doing. In this barn there were no mirrors, and I wouldn't be able to see my Pinkie Pie in her wedding dress, but I watched contently as Rarity fixed up Pinkie's ripped dress. She was hemming the ends, and using frill as accents. Trimming it with a golden silk lining, and tying up the back with a white ribbon. If I couldn't see my bride in her dress, at least I could imagine her in it. "Girls, are we almost ready?" Twilight lifted her eyes from her check list, and looked around at the preparations. I could see her lip curl slightly at the ends as if she were amused with something. I ignored the unicorn, and looked through my bride to be's eyes as she walked over to our friends. "Oh, I'm so happy you guys were able to make my wedding even better!" Pinkie gawked at the decorations, and the atmosphere of her wedding place. I was so joyed to see that my dearest was finally happy. She well deserved a great day on her wedding. "That's what friends er' for there, Pinkie." Applejack titled her hat slightly, and her eyes wondered over to Twilight who looked down to her clipboard, and nodded her head. Rainbow Dash still had tear stained cheeks from her earlier break down, but a quivery smile was upon her muzzle as she hovered next to Fluttershy. The yellow pegasus, however, had a strange look about her face. Her ears were pulled back, and she was shaking timidly. "What's wrong, Flutters?" I asked through my Pinkie's lips. I gave her a concerned look. Her large eyes jolted towards me with a slight hint of fear, and she squeaked; jumping a few inches in the air. Her long pink mane fell over one of her eyes, and she looked me directly in the eyes. "Oh, I'm just so nervous for you guys! I always get nervous at weddings....they... um...make me nervous...." She put on a measly smile, and hid a little behind Rainbow Dash whom stood in front of her firmly. "Well I understand! I'm nervous too!" I smiled at the timid pony, and then turned back to Twilight. I figured she was the one with the plan on when we started to the ceremony, and what we were suppose to do. "I can see that everything is all set, and we are ready to start." Twilight lifted her head from her clipboard, and looked over at Rarity. "Oh, do be a darling, and put on your dress, Pinkie." Rarity hoofed over the newly fixed wedding gown to my bride. Pinkie accepted it in her own hooves, and walked over to the corner to put on her dress. Rarity assisted her with her magic. Pulling at the lace tied in the back, and finally pulling the last bow tight. "It looks splendid on you!" Rarity clopped her hooves together, and turned her eyes to Twilight once more. Once again, Twilight looked down at her list, and nodded her head. "Well, are you ready to get started, Pinkie? Pinkamena?" Twilight looked over at us with her purple eyes. She gestured her hoof in the direction of a chair. It was a rather odd looking chair. Do ponies sit in chairs at weddings? I wouldn't know, for I had never seen a wedding before. I had only heard that it was the ultimate way to love somepony. That is why I asked Pinkie for her hoof in marriage. Pinkie trotted over to the large, brown chair. She looked at it questionably, but as she looked over at our friends she was reassured that everything was going to go perfectly, and they had set up the greatest wedding for us. Pinkie took her seat, and I watched through her eyes. I wish there was a way I could whisper in her ear cute little i love you's, but the best I could do was puff out my chest, and ready myself for an amazing wedding, and a long full life ahead of us. "Rainbow Dash?" Twilight turned her head upwards to the cyan pegasus above her. Rainbow seemed to know her cue, and she quickly flew over to me, and Pinkie. "I sure hope this works." Rainbow Dash said under her breath, as she reached our chair. With a glow of Twilight's horn, something began to change on the chair. The rainbow pegasus swiftly locked four clamps, and tightly secured them around Pinkie's bottom hooves, and top hooves. "Wh-what is this, Dashie?" Pinkie Pie looked up in fear at her light blue friend. Rainbow's eyes were filled with remorse as she looked away from Pinkie. "I'm sorry, Pinkie..." Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy began making their way over to us. The locks were keeping Pinkie restrained, and even with my strength I couldn't get them to budge. "What is the meaning of this?!" I shouted as I looked at the eyes of me, and Pinkie Pie's friends. I was beginning to feel fear myself. Fear that this was all a trick. Fear that they weren't really my friends. Fear that I wouldn't have my wedding. Fear that I would lose Pinkie Pie. "Pinkie, we have come to the knowledge that you have a rare disease. It's called split-personality disorder. Pinkie do you hear Pinkamena?" Twilight stood closest to us. Her clipboard now hovering above her head, and a purple aura glowed around it. "What do you mean? Of course I do! You do too!" Pinkie's eyes were stricken with worry. She could now sense the deceit coming from her friends. "What is she saying?" Twilight asked. "What do you mean? Pinkie doesn't have to tell you what I'm saying! You can hear me perfectly fine!" I was feeling sick on my stomach now. I couldn't believe this was happening. Why were they doing this to us? They were suppose to be our friends! "Pinkie Pie, it's all in your head. There is no Pinkamena. There never was. Pinkie Pie....Pinkamena is you." Twilight's eyes were lowering now. She looked more sympathetic now. "You're lying, Twilight!" I could hear Pinkie screaming now. Sobs were breaking her words, and making them hard to understand. I wanted to cry myself now. Why were they doing this? Why are they constantly trying to keep us apart? Why can't they accept us!? I could now see the white unicorn walking over to Pinkie, and placing a hoof on the shoulder of her dress. Why would they do this? They prepared this wonderful wedding for us, getting our hopes high, and then they do this! They destroy our hopes, and our dreams to be together. They....were no longer friends to me. "Don't touch her!" I jerked my shoulder furiously. "Don't you ever touch her!" I couldn't take it anymore. I struggled against the restraints, trying to break loose, but I couldn't budge. I couldn't reach forward towards the damn ponies that were ruining my life! I couldn't attack them! I couldn't stop them.... "Pinkie, calm down." Applejack stood forward, and reached her hoof around Rarity. The white unicorn fell back into Applejack's forearm with a blush flustered across her face. I can't believe this! They are actually taunting me now! Showing affection for each other, yet they are keeping me from Pinkie Pie! "I can't.....You guys are suppose to love me....you're suppose to support me...." Pinkie's cries were breaking her sentences, and she could barely get a breath out. "We do love you...and um...we do support you, but...." Fluttershy looked over to Rainbow Dash for some help with her wording. "But this is just ridiculous!" Rainbow Dash spit out boldly. Fluttershy timidly looked at her with disapproval. Pinkie's teary blue eyes looked over at the cyan pegasus with so much sorrow. She couldn't comprehend all that was happening to her. She couldn't understand what was going on. She didn't want to. "Why....." That's all my dear Pinkie could let out. I couldn't even think of anything to say myself. My mind was wondering in so many places at once that I couldn't even think straight. I stayed quiet within my lover. Not being able to comfort her. Not being able to tell her everything would be alright. Not being able to save her. Not being able to do anything. "It's for your own good, Pinkie Pie." Twilight, with her clipboard hovering over her head, stepped closer. Pinkie looked towards the unicorn she once considered her friend. Her eyes were swollen from her tears, and she couldn't even make out anymore to say. She completely gave up. There was no hope...and she knew this deep inside. I knew it.... "Pinkie Pie....it's time to let go Pinkamena. It's time to face the truth, and move on. Pinkamena doesn't exist." Twilight leaned back a little on her forelegs. I wanted to just destroy them all. I wanted to kill them, and take my Pinke Pie far away from this horrid place, with these horrid ponies. I wanted to just die myself. Pinkie Pie looked up at the five mares before her. Her blue eyes turned from side to side. Her pink mane fell over her face slightly, and she relaxed her muscles. She gave up resisting. With a sad, long sigh, the pink pony finally opened her mouth, and gave a reply. ".....okay...." My eyes sunk deep within my skull. I couldn't trust what my ears just heard. I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't believe it. What did she mean? What was she saying? Why did she even continue to speak to them? What was happening? What was she doing!? "Pinkie!" I yelled out through her lips. I wanted to remind her that I was still here. I wanted her to see that I was real. I wanted her to know that I still loved her. I wanted her to love me too. "No.....no....you're not real! You're not real!!!" Pinkie screamed at the top of her lungs. I was taken aback. My heart was throbbing with pain. How could she believe them? "Of course I'm real! I love you!" I could feel hot streams of water dripping down my cheeks now. I really wanted to die now. There was no question in it. I wanted to die... "Leave me ALONE!!!" Pinkie threw her head back, and clenched her eyes shut. I could no longer see anything but darkness. She was shutting me out. She was shutting me out of her world! "Pinkie...It's okay now." I could hear Twilight saying. I couldn't see her. I couldn't see anypony. I wanted to speak, but when I tried my words failed to be heard by the outside world. I couldn't even hear myself. I couldn't hear what was going on outside of Pinkie. I couldn't hear her. I couldn't hear anything. There was nothing more I could do. There was nothing more I could say. There was nothing more at all for me to try to accomplish. There was nothing at all in this world for me. No love. No friends. Nothing. Nothing but a solitude, dark world within the pony that I wanted so badly. The pony that I longed to love. The pony that I almost got my chance with. The pony that I was going to spend my life with. That pink pony... Pinkie....I love you....