//------------------------------//
// The Journey 
// Story: Top Of The Charts 
// by GeodesicDragon 
//------------------------------//


CHAPTER ONE


The Journey


You are Anonymous. And you are a DJ... of course, you use that term loosely. Your idea of being a DJ is simply waiting for a CD to finish and then replacing it with a new one. You don't know the first thing about mixing or remixing, so you simply stick with changing CDs around. Which is precisely what you're doing now.

You've been hired to provide the music for a wedding. It's boring as all hell, but at least the pay makes up for that. You're taking requests and playing them out when a girl catches your eye. Ordinarily, you would jump at the chance to play something for a pretty lady. Pity this one is far from pretty.

She's got long greasy hair, braces, pimples, glasses, the whole shebang. But what really makes her stand out is the t-shirt she's wearing — a large picture of your least favourite singer. And now she is walking towards you with a small smile on her face. When she talks, she lisps and sprays you with saliva.

"Can you play some of this artist's songs?"

"I'm busy dealing with other requests right now," you respond while wiping your face with a napkin, "if you don't mind waiting."

The girl shakes her head. You can now add dandruff to that list of things she's got going for her.

"No, you will play something of his right now." she demands. "I am the bride's sister so if you want paid tonight, you'll do what I say. Play this song, it's my favourite."

She whispers in your ear the name of the monstrosity she wants you to inflict on these innocent party-goers. Her breath on your ear causes you to shudder and stifle a retch. When she finally pulls away from you, you let out a small sigh.

"I've already told you that I'm dealing with other requests," you say as you pinch the bridge of your nose, "so you can wait. I will play something for you, but you need to take it easy, all right?"

All hail Anon, the voice of reason.

Shut up, brain.

The fat girl shakes her head again and grabs you by the collar, putting her face to yours. She smells of Doritos and cheap booze.

"Listen pal," she snarls, "I don't care about the other people who are waiting. They can rot for all I care. Their requests mean nothing to me, so you'd better get your ass in gear and play something."

You glance over her shoulder and see that everyone has gone silent. The bride has her face buried in her hands and is muttering something. You can't hear exactly what she says, but you do manage to make out the words 'stupid bitch'.

"Looks to me like you've just ruined the big day." you say smugly. "I don't think you're going to be here for very long, so why don't you just let me go and waddle off somewhere, hmm?"

You look at the girl and wait for her to release you from her surprisingly good grip. However, you were not prepared for the force with which she propelled you across the room. As you fly into the wall you hear, and feel, something cracking.

Putting a hand to your forehead, you are greeted with the warm feeling of blood. You groan in exasperation as you get to your feet. But your assailant doesn't appear to be done yet... at least, if that broken bottle she's holding is anything to go by.

Oh come on!

I've got your back, Anon. Just give me a second to recall some of the martial arts moves we saw in that movie... right, I want you to flail your arms around and scream like a banshee. That should be enough to get her to stop. Once she sees you're just a poor simple idiot, she might take pity on you and leave you alone.

You make a note to punish your brain with alcohol later and assume a stance. Thankfully, before anything can happen, the girl is sent crashing to the ground by a chair to the back of the head. The bride looks down at her and sighs. She then approaches you and hands you an envelope.

"When my sister wakes up," she warns you, "she's going to want your blood. That envelope contains your pay for tonight, plus a little extra to apologise for her behaviour. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that it would be a good idea if you left. Be sure to get your head checked out as well."

You nod, tucking the envelope into your pocket next to your mobile. You then leave the building as quickly as you can, avoiding the curious stares you are getting from passers-by.

Right. Hospital first and then go home.

Fuck that, Anon. You'll be waiting for ages in the hospital. Just go home and patch it up yourself.

You agree with your brain, for once, and head towards your humble little abode. Little being the key word. It was a single room flat with a tiny kitchen area, a bathroom and a sofa bed.

You scrape the keys across the lock as you work to open the door. Eventually you get it right and head inside, making sure to lock the door behind you. The last thing you need after nearly being killed by a crazed fangirl is to get burgled.

You make your way to your equally small bathroom and stand in front of the mirror. The man who stares back has a four-inch gash running along his forehead. You open the cabinet and pull out the first-aid kit.

Clean, disinfect (which stung like a motherfucker) and bandage. All done. It's not the best, but at least doing this was better than waiting in the hospital for three hours surrounded by drunks and snot-nosed kids.

You crawl into bed without stopping to undress, simply hoping to forget the events of the day.

You do realise I'm going to make you relive that crap for as long as I can, right Anon?

Love you too, Brain.

It isn't long before sleep claims you.


***


Despite your brain's threats, you didn't relive the incident. Instead you dreamt that you were falling into a bright white light... and then crashing through a forest canopy onto a dirt road. It was some dream, it even felt real.

As you wake up, you suddenly realise that it wasn't a dream. That you are in fact face down on a dirt road.

Uhh, Brain?

Yeah Anon? What's up?

What the fuck did you do?

I didn't do anything! Well, not this time anyway.

You groan and get to your feet, the taste of dirt lingering on your tongue. This in turn makes you realise that you can taste things. You can also smell a faint trace of smoke in the air, and feel your belongings in your pockets. Your mobile and the envelope are still there. You can hear birds singing.

But of course, sight would have to be an issue, given the fact it's dark. Almost pitch black, actually. You stand there for a few minutes scratching your head before you start pinching yourself, thinking that you're dreaming. Instead of waking up, you yelp in pain and smack a hand to your forehead in frustration.

All senses nominal, Anon. Though given how much time you spend in bright nightclubs, it's hardly a surprise you can't see straight.

You spend the next twenty minutes waiting for your eyes to adjust to the darkness. Slowly but surely, you can make out shapes in front of you. Trees (of course), foliage, rabbits, buildings...

... wait, what?

You strain your eyes some more.

Yes, those are indeed the silhouettes of buildings that you can see. You decide that anywhere is better than staying in a creepy darkened forest. You find yourself thinking of Deliverance, though you never actually saw that movie.

Any second now, I am gonna hear banjos...

You walk slowly through the forest along the path. Just because you can see civilisation doesn't mean you're going to run like an idiot and get yourself hurt. You don't need that kind of trauma right now, though you'd much rather run face-first into a tree than get beaten up by an angry fangirl again.

Fifteen careful minutes later, you arrive at your destination. You're in a small town of some kind. The streets are well lit, but they're deserted. The buildings themselves appear to be made of wood. You can't see a single concrete or steel structure anywhere. It looks like you walked onto the set of a medieval film.

You reach out and touch one of the buildings. Yep, it feels like real wood. You take a step back and look up, only to find that you've touched yet another goddamn tree. Except unlike the others, this one appears to be getting used for something.

What the fuck kind of movie is this?!

You scratch your head as the confusion sets in. You have no idea what kind of messed up dream this is, but you don't like it. As you contemplate ways you can get home, a sound reaches your ears. The wonderful sound... of music.

You begin following the music hoping that where there's music, there's people. As you walk, you listen carefully to the tune. You're not sure, but it sounds like classical music remixed to sound like dubstep. You feel your head bobbing along to the beat and fix a smile upon your face. Whoever these people are, they sure know how to throw a party!

The music gets louder as you approach another building. If the giant record on the side and the words 'Club P0N-3' are anything to go by, you'd be right in thinking that this was a nightclub. You walk around the side towards the entrance.

"Sorry pal, this is a private pa—HOLY CELESTIA!"

You stop in your tracks and look down to find two small horses, both of which only comes up to your waist, looking back at you. One of them licks its lips and swallows nervously while the other resorts to giving you the stink-eye.

"Are you seeing this thing, Silver?" one of them asks.

"I'm seeing it Flash," the other replies, "but I'm not believing it."

These things can talk?

These things can talk. Requesting permission to pass out?

Permission denied. I want to see where this goes. Suck it up Anon, and introduce yourself!

You wave a hand meekly. The two horses back away suddenly, baring their teeth. It'd be funny if it wasn't so serious. You cough awkwardly and clear your throat. Looks like it's time for these two to meet the voice of reason.

"Hi there," you say, "my name is Anonymous. Any chance you fine... uh, gentlemen... could help me? I think I'm lost."

'Silver' and 'Flash' drop their aggressive expressions and replace them with curious ones.

"Did it just talk?" Silver says, his mouth hanging open slightly.

"I think it just did." Flash responds. "What do we do?"

You look at them as they begin whispering to each other, seemingly forgetting that you're there. Their conversation is very hushed, but you do manage to make out the words 'thing', 'help', 'royal guard', 'twilight', 'princess', 'exile' and 'moon'. Though what any of it actually means is beyond your understanding. Then again, this whole situation is beyond your understanding.

The two stallions eventually turn back to you. You put on your winning smile. These things obviously don't trust you, and you don't plan on giving them any reason to continue thinking like that. You just want to wake up from this.

"Follow me Anonymous." Silver says as he opens the door, "Perhaps Vinyl will be able to help you. I'll have to take you through the club to see her, so expect everypony to give you their full attention."

As he opens the door smoke pours out, followed by the deafening sound of music and cheering. These horses—

Ponies, Anon.

... right. These ponies certainly seem to know how to enjoy themselves. If this was Earth, you'd be straight on that dance floor showing off your moves. But this isn't Earth, this is... some other place entirely.

As you follow Silver through the doors the music and chatter suddenly grinds to an abrupt halt as the party ponies take notice of the new arrival. Chatter breaks out as they speculate on what you are. As you continue walking, you hear yourself being referred to as 'a hairless minotaur runt' on more than one occasion.

That's a bit harsh.

Nonetheless you shrug it off and keep walking. You're hopefully not going to be here for long, so these things can say what they want about you. You begin to notice that some of these ponies have horns, while others had wings. So much for some sense of normality in your dreams.

Eventually, Silver leads you along a winding set of corridors to a door. A sign on the door announces it to be Vinyl's office. Silver taps on the door a couple of times with a hoof. The door is enveloped in a blue light and wrenched open. Silver walks in, and you immediately hear a female voice. Seems that Vinyl is upset.

"What the buck is going on out there, Silver?!" she demands, "Why has the music stopped?"

"I assure you Vinyl," Silver replies, "that the music stoppage is not a technical fault. Everything going on out there is because of the... unexpected guest we've got."

"Unexpected guest?" Vinyl repeats. She thinks for a moment before her voice suddenly goes up a few octaves, "Is Princess Luna here? Why was I not informed? She never makes a surprise visit!"

"It's not the Princess." Silver says. "It was... well, I'll let you see him for yourself. Anonymous, get in here!"

You walk into the office. Sitting behind a desk is a white unicorn mare with a two-tone electric blue mane and tail and wearing a pair of purple goggles on her head. Her eyes are red, and they're gazing into your very soul. It's rather uncomfortable.

"Whoa, cool!" she says as she leaps out from behind her desk and trots over to you, "I've never seen anypony like you before. What kinda freaky thing are you supposed to be?"

You raise an eyebrow at her.

"I'm a human," you reply, "and my name is Anonymous or 'Anon' for short. To cut a long story short, I appear to be stuck in this crazy dreamland, and I need help waking up."

Vinyl looks at you for a moment before breaking into laughter.

"A dream?" she says, "Dude, this isn't a dream. You're in Equestria now! This is all real!"

"All... real?" you parrot.

"Buck yeah it's all real!" Vinyl snorts. "If it was a dream, you wouldn't be able to feel this!"

She prods you in the side with her horn. It hurts a little, but serves to reinforce her point.

This is all real.

She grins at you as you attempt to process this information.

If this is real, then that means I'm never going home. I'll be stuck here, in a crazy world of ponies with horns and wings who love to party into the small hours of the night.

You come to the conclusion that you are actually quite happy about this. You love partying, so perhaps you can show these ponies how humanity cuts loose. You return Vinyl's grin with one of your own.

"Sounds good to me." you say. "Now, how about you show me how much you ponies like to party?"

You don't get to say any more as Vinyl drags you out of her office at a ridiculous speed.