"Really, Victoria, you're sweet and all, but you don't have to do this all for me."
It was about an hour after my previous ordeal. I had stayed with Rarity for a while, until she calmed down, and that ambitious zeal in her eyes reappeared. As a man to keep his promises, I agreed to go back home with Rarity. She had been acting very odd that past hour, even weirder than usual (a level of weirdness I thought couldn't be accomplished by mortal minds). Like, she just came to me out of the blue and kissed me! I wasn't very sure if she was acting different due to her sadness, some other womanly emotional thing, or if it was just because I was around.
I sat on the couch nearest to her door as Rarity handed me a small tray of muffins, each with small smiley faces on the top of them.
"Oh, nonsense! After all, I wouldn't want to be a bad host, now would I? A lady’s biggest skill in the house isn't her cooking or cleaning, it's how well she can be a host while the man is away working!" Rarity mentioned, as she handed a soft muffin treat to me. Being the hungry teenager that I was, I wolfed down the treat in one bite, getting crumbs onto my (or, Rowland's, I guess) shirt.
"Ah, Joseph, please, do be a little more careful with these treats," Victoria stated calmly, wiping up the crumbs with a napkin she had placed on the tray.
I could do nothing but stare. I hadn’t before seen Rarity to be one to be so kind. If anyone else had probably even let one crumb slip from their mouth and land on her couch, they would probably be gone from school for the next three years with bruises from a slapping session worthy of the deepest parts of hell. However, I was just given a nice and kind response to be more careful. Which, knowing me, I wouldn't be able to change how clean I was, especially when it came to eating.
"Oh, now you've got a little smidge on you, let me get that," Rarity exclaimed as she pulled out yet another napkin and wiped my face with it. "You're such a baby when you eat! But, it's not like there's anything wrong with that, letting me wipe your cute little face when you eat!" she patted me on the head and went to eating her treat.
She ate with a formality unlike any other, much like Eliza Doolittle, albeit without the brash ruffian history behind her. Her bites were controlled as she systematically ate each part of her muffin, not dropping a single crumb, always being sure that he make up was intact and her face was clean.
"You know, Joseph, you're actually pretty cute when you eat," Rarity stated with a smile and a soft giggle. "Or rather, I should say, you're a cute man overall." She got up from her seat next to the couch and cuddled next to me, nuzzling her soft purple hair on my body.
"Y-you're a pretty good eater too," I stammered, staring at her as she nuzzled up next to me. It was starting to scare me a little bit, how she was getting so close to me and all. I don't think any person in my life had willingly gone up to me and snuggled by me for any reason. "So I am really concerned about something," I butted in.
"What is it, darling?" she asked me, with wide open eyes and a concerned and loving smile.
I choked, but I knew exactly what I wanted to ask. I wanted to ask “Victoria Stewart, why did you kiss me today by the front of the school for almost no reason?” I wanted to ask “Was it because that's the way people work here? Is it like Europe or some land somewhere where people kiss to say hello?” I wanted to ask “Were you trying to make someone else jealous or something?” I wanted to ask “Why?”
But I didn't. The thoughts still poked into my mind every second I was there, but my timidness made me stop any action that I would have been willing to take. Instead, I was left as a nervous stammering mess.
"So, you make dresses?" I asked Rarity, after a bit of stammering around.
"Of course, darling! Why, I make all sorts of clothing, but dresses happen to be my speciality! Would you like to see some?" Rarity replied eagerly, putting her hand onto my hand as she stated this.
"Sure, I guess," I replied nervously. I remember reading a book somewhere about a crazy dress maker who took people into their homes and did all sorts of weird gory things to them, but I couldn't remember the subject of it for the life of me. This along with the questions I had with Rarity made me increasingly hesitant about not wanting to go, but as with all of my decisions, I forced myself into compliance by fear.
We walked around the boutique and she noted the large supply of quality one-of-a-kind dresses she had on display. There was a plain white dress with sparkly jewels encrusted around it, there was a bright red strapless dress with colorful jewels bordering it, pretty much every dress was painted with jewels and jewels covering almost the entirety of the work. All of her works seemed to be incredibly flashy and bold, even though they were, at their core, very simple designs.
"And, for my last design, this is my favorite!" she stammered as she approached a case with a large blanket over it. A blanket with a Carousel Boutique logo on it ,of course. "I-I like it a lot," she stammered a bit more, her formal speech deteriorating second by second. She tugged on the blanket and revealed two sets of clothing, a puffy white dress, encrusted with sparkles and jewels that flew all the way towards the floor, puffing out on the lower area to cover an area much larger than a woman's actual size. Next to it was a nice looking, and thankfully not sparkly, tuxedo. The same kind that would be seen at any Men's Wearhouse. I stared at it for a while, wondering why this would be her favorite. It was still flashy, but it seemed like a much more serious work than her others. The tuxedo didn't even sparkle, which I assumed to be a trademark quality of her work.
"T-this is my absolute favorite," Rarity shyly said after a few seconds of looking. "Would you like to know why?"
"Um," I tried to find an answer, but couldn't think of anything other than "Sure."
"Well, I've had a dream, since I was a little girl. . . " She paused for a little bit, and I could tell she was getting slightly nervous. Was she going to tell a sad story of her past? "My friends and I would always see little plays and read little books about a grand woman, about the age of myself right now, she was SO lonely, living with her parents, and even though she had anything the world could give her, she was missing something."
She grabbed my hand and fiddled with it for a small while. Her hand was growing sweaty ever so slightly, a trait I thought her inhumane amounts of estrogen removed.
"What was she missing?" I asked, genuinely and ignorantly.
She pouted slightly, annoyed at my ignorance. "Well, she wanted to be lead down the aisle by her father, in the most beautiful dress, and handed off to her Prince Charming." She seemed to float closer to my body, now holding both of my hands.
"Oh, cool. I'm sure feminists would have an issue with that, though!" I stated a bit louder than I should have, having no filter in my mouth as my nervousness levels rose up. Why is she holding me now? Is she going to throw me into the case? Is she going to try and kill me or something? Am I going to be kidnapped?
"Joseph. . ." Rarity began. I could see a few tears forming from her eyes, and her lips pouted more, in a combination of tears as well as her annoyance of my possibly tasteless joke. "Joseph, w-will y-you be my Prince Charming?" she stammered, staring straight into my eyes with tears forming around the edges as her pupils grew into humanely unachievable sizes.
It hit me. It finally hit me. She wanted me to be her boyfriend. She had done so many obvious things, she even kissed me, but I never realized it until right now! Sure, I thought about liking her when she kissed me, but I thought it would only be like petty love, when a man admires an actress a video game character in a sexual way. I never would have thought that she would really want to go out with me, but why?
More importantly, what do I say? Do I say yes or no? I so furiously wanted to say no, I so furiously wanted to say “Victoria, you're a pretty girl, but your personality is just so brash that I can't handle it! Besides, I'm trying to go home anyway, and when I plan on getting into a relationship, I imagine it lasting for a long time, and I'll hopefully be out of here within the week! I can't go off and get in relationships while I'm here! I need to focus on getting home! You're very nice, but no,” I wanted to belt that out the moment I heard her utter those words.
But she had been growing kinder. I had never been one to judge very quickly, and after all she was only the second girl in my life to actually admire me like that. But still, I need to have priorities! I have to get home, I can't just go off and go willy nilly into pretty Victoria's life while I'm trying to get home. It shouldn't be that hard to say no, right?
"Eh," I began.
You can do it, Joseph.
"Aaah,"
Rarity stared at me with her earnestly vibrant eyes, shining from the developing tears, as she squeezed my hands even tighter.
Just say no.
No.
No.
No.
"Y-Yes," I stammered out.
Joseph. What the hell. It was just so hard to say no to her, though! I couldn't hurt her feelings like that, after all! It would be rude of me as a person! Then what if I said no and she got really mad and she told all of her friends about it, and they all hated me! She's friends with Twilight, and she'll say "Oh no, Joseph, I don't think I can let you live here," and she'll leave me all alone!
But. . . what about Applejack?
What would she think?
Applejack. . . Augustine. . . what should she think?
I walked home at around seven or eight that night, after Rarity had expressed her complete joy of being with me in a relationship. Honestly, the entire thing irked me. I never really had any life plans to be with anyone. Love was not a goal that I intended to reach, but rather a bonus that I found rather nice to have. However, I thought about the small time that I knew her? Isn't it weird how she suddenly latched herself onto me just after five days of knowing me? It's not like I really knew her that well, and it's not like she even knew me that well! Besides, she knew I'd be leaving soon! At least I should be leaving soon, as soon as Twilight helps me find home.
Still, I was never really the type to just leave people like that. I always had trouble saying no to people when they wanted me to do things. I hardened up, I vaguely remember, after my break-up, but I still was a huge softie and a yes-man. Besides, Rarity was kind of cute and all. And her attitude had been improving dramatically, maybe I might end up liking this.
And what if I do end up liking it?
I walked towards the doorstep of Twilight's house and noticed Spike sitting sadly by the doorstep.
"Hey Spencer! What's wrong?" I asked him
"T-Tina she said she doesn't need me anymore, now that her big brother is coming home." Spike sighed out.
"Her brother's coming home? Well that's nice! But why wouldn't she want you to stay? I'm sure Rowland would be a cool big bro to have!"
"B-But that's. . . that's. . . I was only there because Rowland wasn't there. That's what she told me." Spike wiped a tear from his eye, "She knew me for so long, but she never let me come over until Rowland went to school, then she told me that I could come over and help her out, but now that Rowland is coming home, I'm back to being the useless person she doesn't talk to."
"Let me tell you what," I said, after a moment of silence. Why would Twilight do that to Spike?! He was what, eight? Nine? Ten? She couldn't hurt him like this! I know that Twilight wouldn't do this without a good reason, and I could hopefully make a better reason to keep Spike here! "I'll go in, and talk to Tina, and see what's wrong, and convince her to let you stay."
"Really?" his voice was filled with excitement.
"Of course, Spence! I'm sure she'll listen to me! If not, I'll just wait until Rowland gets there and he'll help me convince her!"
It was kind of odd how Rowland was coming back home and Twilight had never mentioned anything to me. It was still Wednesday, and she was still mad at me, but why would she break out at me like that if her brother was coming home that same day? More important, to make this entire day weirder, why did Twilight kick out Spencer? What's wrong with having another friend in the house? He's a kid, anyway, and a pretty devoted kid, at that.
I opened the unlocked door and entered a pitch black room.
"SURPRISE! WELCOME HOME!" I heard a voice scream as the lights sprung on. The room was surrounded with party gifts, and pictures of Rowland's various accomplishments, such a picture of him wrestling with what looked like Applejack's cousin Mac, a picture of him graduating, and various others. Sitting in the middle on the couch was Twilight, giddily bouncing up and down upon seeing me.
"I, uhh, Hello?" I asked curiously,
"HI! Hi! Oh, it's been so long, Rowland, you've changed so much!" Twilight stated as she got up and walked towards me.
What?
"Tina. I'm Joseph."
"What?! Was that your new nickname at school? That's just silly! You're Rowland, my B.B.B.F.F!"
"Tina."
"I have so much fun stuff for you! We can read books, and fly kites, and do all kinds of things!"
"TINA."
Twilight fell harshly silent at the screaming of her name.
"Tina. I'm not Rowland. I'm Joseph."
"No! You're Rowland! Rowland Hamilton! You're back home because you love your little sister so much! Now I don't have to have Spencer to keep me company, since I have you!" Twilight hugged me tightly, giggling as she did so.
"But you can't just kick Spike out like that. He's like, ten."
"B-But, I only took care of him because I missed you. I wanted someone to be with." Twilight sniffled, still hugging me.
I stared at Twilight in deep silence. What was wrong with her? I'm not Rowland! I'm not I'm not I'm not! Or at least, I'm pretty sure I'm not. She was fine a few days ago, but now she thinks I'm her older brother, and she's breaking a kid's dreams while she's at it just so she can play pretend with me! Twilight was a nice girl, she was the closest thing I had to a sister, but now she's starting to scare me.
"T-Tina, T-Tina, I, It'd be fun t-to play pretend, but, I need to find out how to get home."
Twilight gasped as she hugged me tighter.
"D-DON'T!" She stammered as she realized how loud she had screamed. "D-Don't, I, you mean so much to me, you don't know how hard I cried when you left for school, and now you're here, we can be together, forever, my B.B.B.F.F." She returned to her soft tone, sniffing occasionally from her tears.
I thought for a second. I wish I could continue with this “I'm not Rowland, shut up and go away.” After all, I wasn't Rowland! Why did she think I was? Why would she just suddenly break like this? She was my only chance of getting home, and now she's going insane on me.
But, through all of this weirdness, I felt good. I shouldn't have felt good at all, but I did. This entire day, I've been feeling. . . wanted. First, with Rarity, we had only known each other for five days, and she already wanted to commit to me deeply, she wanted me to be a bigger part of her life rather than just “The Lost Boy.” Now Twilight was wanting me to be with her as her older brother. She wanted me to stay with her, she wanted me to be with her, I actually meant something to her. Even if it was just a fake persona that she wanted, I still meant something to her to the point where my absence would deeply detract from her life.
How had home been without me? I had never really thought of that. My only thoughts about home were “What is home, exactly?” and, of course “How do I get back,” but I never really thought about how much life would be different if I hadn't been there. The only person I could remember that deeply wanted me in their life was my ex-girlfriend, but my contact with her had dwindled away into talks about Littlest Pet Shop and other small topics, with conversations being few and far between, as well as short in duration, usually ending without a proper goodbye in the middle of a conversation. I tried remembering, with the small amount of memory that I had with me, but I could find nobody else that aspired to have me in their life, even though I couldn't remember names or faces, I could remember how I felt about people, and I could remember titles that they had. Still, nobody, not even my parents or my brother, which I could remember less than my friends.
I was actually wanted here. Within five days, two people wanted me in their lives forever. They cried to me, they connected with me, they deeply wanted what I had to offer. Not just “You play an instrument nicely, please join our band” or “You're funny, talk to me sometimes during class.” They wanted something much deeper, they wanted a real and strong relationship with me. Rarity wanted the loving sexual relationship, while Twilight wanted the brother-sister relationship that I could never remember having.
Not all was well. Spike's fate probably wasn't going to change, I still wasn't Rowland, Rarity still had a lot of personality flaws, and I still just lost my only helper in finding my homeland.
Still, even though there were probably more doubts and troubles than benefits, I still felt good inside, I felt like my life wasn't just an accessory to someone else's life, but rather, I was meaningful. At least one person would wake up and want to talk to me, want to be with me, want to hear my problems, come to me with their issues, and just make their life complete.
Maybe home wasn't all I had thought it was.
"T-Tina, D-. . ." I sighed deeply, biting my lip. "Don't worry. I'm not leaving, B.B.S. . . S.S. . . B.B.S. . . sister."
"REALLY?" Twilight belted, once again wincing after she realized her volume.
"Yes. But, please let Spike stay. I know he was only your ‘replacement brother,’ but you can't hurt him like that"
"I'll think about it, however, it is time for him to go home. I'll send him off, you go to bed."
I took the chance immediately to sprint to the couch where I slept, moving assorted party decorations off of it. I tried my best to go to sleep as fast as possible, this day was just too weird and I just wanted it to be over as fast as possible.
Still, this entire thing bothered me. Had I ever really been wanted in life? What had I been living for these seventeen years? I made jokes, I played instruments, I existed, but I never really meant anything to anybody. Maybe once I did, but at the time that I can last remember, I was just an accessory. With Rarity confessing her love for me, and Twilight becoming insane, suddenly I was a name rolling around in heads, a name that people wanted to hear. Not just as “The Funny Guy”, but “The man that changed my life forever. The man that I want to never leave.” Would this be temporary? I'm not too sure, but what mattered to me at the time was the present. My only thought of the future was “Get Out,” but even that thought was blurring out as this world opened up to me.
For the first time in a long time, I felt. . . happy.
Was home worth really going back to? Or was this break from reality, the reality of my homeland, just what I needed? Does home really want me? Should I even bother going back when I am loved here and, to the best of my knowledge, only tolerated and accepted there?
But the questions were left unanswered as sleep enveloped me and the entropy of the day disappeared into darkness.