Conversion Bureau: St George

by kryxel

episode 2 part 3: tastes like grape.

Victor was called to Doctor Tennant’s office. He had never met the Doctor formally before, so he had no clue what he would be facing.
Whatever he had thought, he never expected anything like this.

"Please come in. Just have a seat, put up your shoes if you like. Please just sit and twiddle your thumbs with me, while you still have them."
The Doctor grinned, gesturing to a seat with his hand. He then proceeded to fold his hands, and started twiddling his thumbs in demonstration.
Victor arched his eyebrow. "Um, okay... Is this some kind of strange interrogation technique?"
The Doctor laughed. "No,no. No interrogations today. Just something fun to do while you still have them. Thumbs, I mean. As in, I have never seen a horse or pony with thumbs, so twiddle those thumbs now you still can. Soon, when the last human either dies or converts, the art will be lost you know."
Victor sat down. "Um, okay? Why am I here?" He asked the Doctor.
"Oh. You read minds? Because that was exactly what I was going to ask you. What am I thinking right now?"
Victor facepalmed.
This was going to be one of those long days.
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Being hung over, not an enjoyable experience.
Being hung over while being a pony, even worse, for a somewhat unexpected yet simple reason.
Doctor Whooves had come to the conclusion years ago, that hooves were wonderful things. With hooves, you never had to worry about getting a rock in your shoes, or wear shoes for that matter, since the sturdy material would stop any sharp objects a nice distance before reaching anything more sensitive than a nail.
Today however, he had found a perfect counterargument, proving once and for all that maybe, just maybe, whoever designed those hooves wanted to make VERY sure nopony would ever use alcohol to excess. That, or at least avoid solid floors after doing so.
clipclop. ow... clipclop. ow... clipclop. ow... clipclop. ow... clipclop. ow...
This was going to be one of those painful days.
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Berry Punch downed the patented hangover cure her great uncle Judo had perfected, and promptly launched herself across the room. She bounced up and smiled. "Well, at least I know that will never change. No matter what formula they create, uncle Judo’s cure can handle it!”
She trotted up and past the pony Doc, and smiled. "See you in there doc. If you speed up that is!"
This was going to be one of those fine days.
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After finally submitting to the Doctor’s demands, Victor was doing The. Most. Important. Thing. In. The. Universe!
"One, two, three, four, I declare a Thumb War!" the Doctor chanted as they lined up their opposable digits.
They soon grasped fingers, and the Doctor rang a small bell, of the kind one would normally find on a receptionist’s desk.
The match, was ON!
"So, tell me Victor. What’s your story? From the beginning please. Why do you want to become a rainbow colored marshmallow pony?"
"Well, I don’t think you would understand, being a doc and all. No one really knows what goes on in a war, unless they have been in one..."
The Doctor laughed without any joy behind it. "Try me. I may have more war experience than you might expect."
Victor gave him a dark smile. "Ahh, a medic... That would explain why your eyes are so dark. You saw blood. Bullets. Brain matter and flesh rent all in seconds of each other. You rejoiced on the days where the worst wound you saw was a papercut, or someone breaking their leg trying to do something dumb.
And you... you were a medic, I presume?" The doctor nodded solemnly.
Victor let out a dark laugh. "One of the best! I could stich an arm back on you, well enough for the bloody thing to work again. And it did not even have to be yours!”
"Is that what happened to..." The Doctor gestured to the flat shoulder.
"Oh no, that happened due to, well...
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(Somewhere in the middle east, during one of the many conflicts in the region.)
"ROGER WILCO SEVEN. TACTICS CONFIRMED OF A SHELLSHOCKER AND A ROVING THUNDERHEAD. NEED A RUBBERMAN, STAT!"
Four men in black combat armor were hunkered down in what little remained of a sandstone brick building. They were the elite, and knew their job as well as anyone on the field.
Victor, Wisky, Echo, and Bravo.
The finest of the finest.
However, even the finest could not take on a EMP rocketeer and a Tesla Tank without backup.
Echo was still yelling into the radio, while bravo was providing suppressive fire to keep the rocketeer grounded.
"Wisky, reload!"
With a dive, he dropped down behind the wall while Whisky stood up, resuming the fire.
"Echo, stop squirming already. I’m gonna patch you up, but I can’t do it if you keep moving! And shut up, they can hear the smallest noise you make. No need to make them more deaf than their weapons have already made them," Victor said while patching up Echo’s shot leg.
"Well, if you’d stop YANKING on the part that HUR-urts, I might be able NOT to scream in agony!”
"Well, excuse me for trying to save your leg," Victor grinned, just as an EMP rocket detonated behind him.
The rocketeer was in the air. They needed new cover. And a roofless building would not provide enough cover.
Echo grabbed his rifle, and started shooting at the flying man, Trying to shoot him down. However, he had forgotten the big advantage the flier had: the Antigrav magnet.
The rocketmen were using a relatively new version of the jetpack. Rather than a tank of gas and a miniature jet engine, these versions worked by using several powerful magnets, capable of creating a magnetic field strong enough to cancel out earth’s gravity. Additionally, they were armed with what some considered the cruelest weapon since poison gas: Tesla rockets. Using the field of the Antigrav magnet, these projectiles would cause any metal near where they detonated to give of lethal static discharges, earning them the name “Shell Shockers.”
The magnets pulled the bullets down and drove them deep into the earth. Not even the dry sand of the desert they were in would stop the bullets at that speed.
The rocketeer fired again. The discharge only incinerated Victor’s arm, since he was a little ways away. Echo was less fortunate, still having his rifle in his hand. The arcs of lightning turned him to dust before he could even scream.
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"... By that time the rubbermen showed up and took down the flier and tank. Whisky and Bravo were still alive and unharmed, but I got this for my troubles" victor said Nodding toward his shoulder.
"Ah," the Doctor said as he maneuvered Victor's thumb to an almost perfect pinning position.
"yeah, they let me go. A one armed soldier is no good, and even now no prosthetic is ever as good as the real deal. in fact, since those things are mostly metal, I’d be a risk to the team.
So I was reassigned to desk duty... Until that one day, about seven or so years ago, I saw this unusual bit of news on the tv..."
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-Seven or so years ago-
"...A small land mass has appeared just off the shore of New York. Authorities have confirmed it is a threat to the city, and will act to eradicate it, with whatever force necessary."
-three months later-
"-A message has been received, shortly after the ocean stopped boiling. The entity who controls this "barrier" will allow two probes to enter inside to... What?... Is this a joke?... Confirmed?!... This just in. It appears that the lands inside the barrier are mostly composed of grasslands and hills, whose inhabitants resemble small, colourful equin-"
-four days later-
"The Princess has decided to converse with us today. Tell us, Princess Celestia, what is life like in Equestria?"
The picture changed to the majestic white Alicorn. "Well, why don’t you try for yourself?"
"but if I remember correctly you said no human could enter? Besides, the military has confirmed yesterday that the radiation coming from the barrier is lethal to humans, so how CAN we even see?"
"All of that is correct, but there may be a way... As we speak, my mages are collaborating with some of the brightest minds of the human scientific community, trying to find a way for humans to become ponies. For anyone wanting to cross, for all those seeking to leave this dying world, for the many who are tired of living without a path to follow, soon there will be a way. However, there is one price. You have to give up your humanity, your wrath, your greed, your thum-"
-six months later-
"The shield is growing faster every day! I tell you, it is an alien invasion!" the HLF member said, slamming his fist into the table as he yelled at the purple Unicorn known as Twilight Sparkle, ambassador of Equestria.
"Nonsense, we only want to help! Why, we have cured more cases of disfigurement and cancer th-" Twilight Sparkle was cut off by the irate man once more.
"I don’t care what you claim! There is no proof whatsoever that the ponies who walk out are the people who walk in! You are murderers and liars, and over my dead body will you-"
"SIR. Have you been ponyfied? No? Well then, as the humans say. 'Don’t knock it till you buy it.' "
"Uh, Twi hon?... It is 'don’t knock it till ya try it.' Try, not buy." an orange Earth pony said.
"Oh, r-right Applejack. My bad." Twilight said with a blush.
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"-And then I heard that sometimes, a human would go in, missing a limb, and come out whole... With that, I could go back to my job. I could protect what I deem good and just once more. Nobody would look down on me for being an- pinned!" He said with a grin as he held down the Doctor’s thumb.
"Oh, now that’s just cheating! But I understand. You wish to become a pony so you can again protect what you know to be important. Well then... Shall we?" The Doctor stood up, and pushed open the door.
"Hold on, hold on, now?" Victor said, confusion in his voice.
"No time like the present, right?" the Doctor said, starting down the hallway.
Victor followed, and they soon arrived at a huge metal door with warning signs and a sign saying "authorized personnel only."
"Now then, go in there and tell the tan stallion who you are, and he will get you set up. Have fun.”
Victor nodded, and stepped in. He saw Doctor Whooves, his drinking buddy Berry Punch, and a blue Unicorn he vaguely recalled was named Colgate.
"Oh, hello there. You are right on time. Please remove your clothes and lay on your side, on the table here.”
Victor blushed as he removed his clothes and laid down, his remaining arm holding him up. "So, now what?”
"Well, now it is just the simple process of re-organizing your atoms into an equine shape, with the use of nanotech and magic. So simple, a foal could do it."
Colgate set down a red case and opened the front, revealing a Erlenmeyer flask.
The liquid inside was a purple color, like juice squeezed from grapes fresh from the vine. However, that was not what caught Victor’s eye.
As Colgate pulled the flask out of the case and swirled it, a thousand tiny specks of light started dancing through the fluid. Each sparkle shone like a star in the night sky, only to fade in moments and to be replaced by ten of its newborn brothers, orbiting around themselves in a dance of light. Colgate poured three ounces into a Styrofoam cup, after which Berry added a sedative.
"Now, normally this would hurt like being hit by a bus, throwing you down a mountain and getting ran over by a tank when you finally stop falling, but thanks to our lovely Berry Punch you will not feel a thing as your atoms are re-arranged and your nutron flow is reversed," Doctor Whoof said, gesturing with his hoof.
"Just drink. And make sure you drink all of it in one gulp," Berry said as Victor picked up the cup.
Victor blinked once, and downed the small cup in one go. "Hey, it tastes like gr-" *thud*
Berry smiled. "Every time."

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I am Ray10k, and I apologize for the atrocious physics behind the jetpack/tesla rockets.
(i am kryxel. and i am not )