Erishy brought a hoof to her muzzle, rubbing sleep and tears out of her eyes. "H... Hey..."
After a moment, she realized what and who she was gripping and withdrew her hooves. I took the time to realize, thankfully, that I was still fully clothed--future reference, sleeping on a pocket of pencils will give you the STRANGEST pain in the flank possible--and speculated that the situation was not as I had first assumed it was.
Which still left the question of what the situation actually was...
"...soooooo, don't take this the wrong way, but..." I nonchalantly glanced at the ceiling. "...do you remember us sharing a bed?"
"No, I'm sorry, I didn't...."
That was about as far as she got before she started sobbing silently, unable to look me in the eye.
"Heyheyhey..." I wrapped my forelegs around her in a reassuring gesture. "I, I'm sure nothing happened, okay? This is... this is the element of Laughter, having a little prank at our expense, you know, we panic for a bit and then it all turns out to be completely innocent." My hooves ran through her soft mane in what I hoped was a comforting motion. "I didn't mean to implicate you, I'm sorry."
"It's not that Reid...." The pegasus couldn't keep from sobbing between her words. "I had... I had a terrible nightmare... You were dead Reid, and it was all my fault."
Oh.
"...I had a dream like that once," I finally admitted. "A cat was... basically falling apart in my hands, no matter how hard I tried to stuff the organs back in. There wasn't any blood, and the cat actually seemed kinda calm. It was more sad than scary, really..."
My gaze drifted back to her as I focused my mind. "Everypony--and human, heh, has dreams like that. The dreams don't make you a monster."
"Nightmare whisper was there..." she whimpered. "And the grey me... And they just wouldn't go away..." Her mossgreen eyes finally met mine. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't... Shouldn't be dumping this on you...."
"You know, I have to disagree with you there. You want to know why?"
"...why..."
I smirked ever so slightly. "When I was a little filly and the sun was going doooooooooooooooooown...."
That was enough to get a small smile, although she tried to hide it behind her hoof. "Pinkie.... The others are sleeping still...."
Master of pitch that I was, I kept my song quiet. "The darkness and the shadows, they would always make me frooooooooooooooooooown..."
"Pinkieee...." Erishy giggled. "The others are gonna think things..."
That got my attention. "Wait, are you serious? I mean do we want them to think things like that when I'm not even sure and--and, um, just a moment--"
In my semi-panicked state, I reasoned it might be better to hold this discussion when we were out of the bed, so I decided to roll to the side... and, in defiance of several physical laws, ended up cocooned in blankets and sheets and hanging a few inches from the ground.
"I was lying, I just didn't want you to wake them up." The yellow pony fluttered over, working on untangling me from my self mad prison. Unfortunately it was extremely complicated and the laws of physics, raging at my blatant violations, decided to impose their vengeance upon us both.
When all was said and done, we looked at each other with a bit of a blush on our faces.
"Um..." Erishy ventured, her face framed by the ceiling.
"...well," I replied, aware of the carpet brushing my neck.
Then an unusual thought hit me.
"This is awkward," I quipped with a smile. "I've been pinned by a naked woman."
Erishy flapped back with a gasp. "I'm not naked! I've got fur!" Her blush deepened as she crossed her forelegs and tried to glower at me; the end result, however, made her look like a sterotypical adorable anime character.
"Well, so do humans," I point out as I rolled to my hooves. "And it's not fur, it's hide. Technical detail, I know, but I like to quibble on those things."
Without any warning she was in my face, frantically examining me and my tinfoil hat. "What happened?! Reid, are you okay?"
"What do you mean?! Is there a mysterious marking on my face in an eldritch script?! Are my eyes bleeding GATORADE?!" I began to hyperventilate. "I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE PANICKING!"
Erishy backed off, flinching. "You... You have grey in your hair... I thought..."
"Oh?" I took a moment to bring a strand of my mane in front of my eyes. There was indeed a streak of grey running through it. "Oh huh. Weird. And it's still straight." Confident that I knew what was happening, I gave the pegasus a reassuring smile. "That's just Dissy trying to get my goat, a little parting gift after I talked to Tara and Luna. Don't worry about it, totally under control."
"Are you sure...?" She looked around the room, awkwardly trying to frame a reply. "I mean... I could give you a hug if it’d help..."
"If anything, I think it's a measure of me winning if the villain has to resort to dying my mane."
"Wait wait, you did it?!" The pegasus grinned, belatedly realizing what I had said. "You talked to Luna? What happened?"
"....seriously, how do you get your dimples to squeak like that?"
"It's not my dimples, say 'weee' then try doing it without opening your mouth. It's that but higher pitched and while smiling." She rolled her eyes at my randomousity. "BUT YOU TALKED TO LUNA! This is great news!"
"No, I swear whenever you smile like that, your dimples squeak." I shook my head; that mystery could wait for a bit. "Anyway, to business: Luna is going after Celestia after she... helps Tara calm down her family. Long story. Also, apparently that's not Twilight in the hospital... exactly... Well, it's Twilight's MAGIC but not her MIND. Dissy did something while she was coming through so we still have to find Twilight. And also, I'm starving. Does this hotel serve pancakes?"
Erishy pondered my words. "...Before pancakes, we need to get Shining and Cadance. They were... Very upset last night."
"Let's not, it would be awkward to walk in on sympathy sex. I can NOT believe I just said that."
"No... No, it's worse than that. I'd be surprised if they even stayed in the same room."
"...angry sex?" I suggested. "Brain, stop thinking about sex. Where is this even coming from?!" Honestly, the thoughts running through my head didn't feel felt or anything like my usual mindscape, more like...
"I don't know, but they were so angry at each other they wouldn't even speak."
That snapped my contemplation. "Oh."
After a moment I added, "Wow."
I tried to articulate a suggestion. "Okay, um..." It took me a moment to consider the possibilities. "I... don't think I'm qualified to handle that situation. Can I just back out like a coward and wake everybody else up?"
"I don't wanna deal with it either," Erishy admitted. "Let's go wake them all up then they can help deal with it."
"That's a good plan. I like that plan. I am proud to be a part of that plan."
We walked into the costume room, checking up on Jackie... who was laying on the ground like a log. Around her, posed on mannequins that she apparently had carved out of styrofoam, the costumes we had requested demonstrated her capability.
"...I vote we let her sleep," I quickly said.
"I agree. Ginny then?"
"Mmmmmyep. You get Ginny, I'll get Ian."
We split up, each of us heading down the hall in opposite directions. I opened the room where Ian and Harold were slumbering, noting Harold's almost mortuary-like sleeping pose... but Ian seemed to be missing. Of course, being the responsible older brother that I am, I decided to investigate for clues. My search quickly revealed a small lump under the blankets. With utmost caution, I pulled them back.
Apple Bloom twitched at the cool contact of the air.
For a moment, the morning fresco was silent. My breath was slow as I let myself realize what this meant. I reached out a hoof, just to make sure this was a living pony and not an extremely realistic plushie. The filly grumbled a little in her sleep.
Then I just couldn't help myself.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Grabbing the little pony between my forehooves, I rushed out the door, down the hall, into another door, and shoved her into Erishy's face. "LOOKIT!" I may or may not have been grinning like a maniac.
"Are the other two here?! Hide the women and children!" The pegasus flinched back... before shaking her head. "Wait, no, that was back in Equestria. So who is she really?"
"Oh man oh man, AJ is going to FLIP!" I punctuated my comment by tossing the disoriented filly into the air and catching her with a smirk. "Hahaha! We're semi-half sisters now!"
"REID! PUT ME DOWN!"
That cry snapped me back to my senses. "Right, sorry, I couldn't help myself." Very gently, I lowered Ian to the ground and began to take deep breaths; no need to get excited over every little thing. "Calm. I'm calm now."
The filly shook her (his?) head. "Glad that's over--"
"OHMYGOSHYOUAREADORABLE!"
Ginny, ever the hugger, wrapped him (her? Wow, this is confusing) in a tight hug.
"Be careful," Erishy advised us. "I had to replace three tables, four chairs, a hammer, and a window after they stayed one night. Dangerous yet adorable."
"Like cats!" I quipped brightly.
Ian was slowly turning blue. "Can't... breathe..."
Ginny gasped. "OHMYGOSH I'M SO SORRY!" She dropped my brother (sister?) onto the bed, holding up her hands in an apologetic gesture.
"That's alright, Ah'm fine." The filly rubbed his neck... before bringing a hoof to his throat. "Wait. Why am Ah talken' like this?"
"Well you didn't think Erica talked like Fluttershy before, did you?" Erishy gave him a sly smirk.
"Ah... guess not?" Ian took his first real look at the pegasus. "Hold on, yer big. Bigger then me, Ah mean... am Ah some sorta midget?"
"Ah..." I held up a hoof. "You... don't know who you got?"
The filly affixed me with a deadpan look. "Let's see, Ah wake up when mah brother turned pony suddenly pounces on me and rushes me through tha hall. Ah get flung around a bit, find out Ah have a lousy acksent, and Ah haven't even looked in a mirror yet. So, no, Ah don't know who... Ah..."
Realization crept onto his face, and he sat down in dejection. "Ah'm that moepony, ain't Ah."
"Mmmmmyep."
"Moepony?" Erishy looked between us in confusion. "You are Apple Bloom."
"A.K.A. Moe pony," I explained.
"So not only am Ah a girl," Ian groaned, "Ah'm a little girl."
"Yeah, pretty much," I confirmed. That would definitely be a hamper on his life. Losing hands, manhood, and adulthood all at once could have huge consequences.... "Oh skreep, you can't drive anymore!"
"Ya think?"
Erishy, of course, picked him up and hugged him much more gently then Ginny ever had. "It'll all be okay, don't worry. We still have Harold, Ginny, and I can drive my car."
Well, that last point was debatable...
Ian rolled her eyes. "Is everyone goen' ta hug me now?"
"I feel your pain," I admitted sympathetically. "The emasucaltion of switching genders and suddenly being cute. To be fair, though, Apple Bloom does some pretty intense stuff, so after the first hug people should treat you normally."
"...um." Ginny raised an awkward hand. "Not to interrupt, but... why are we all still in my bedroom?"
Yeah, that was a good question. Why were we all still in the bedroom of a girl who wore my face on her PJs?
"It smells nice in here," I offered lamely, sniffing the air. "Is that... persimmon?"
"Aheh heh..." Ginny rubbed the back of her head. "Yes..."
Erishy released my brother, turning to the cosplayer. "I came in to wake you up. Pinkie has news." She gave me a triumphant smirk, clearly pleased at her diversion.
"News... which I shall inform you of.... OVER PANCAKES."
Ginny nodded at my proposal. "That sounds all right."
"You get to wake up Julien and Linda."
She was immediately incensed. "What the fuck man?!" What had happened last night, I'll never know.
"Language!" I admonished sternly. "There are fillies present!"
"Yer gonna milk this fer all it's worth, aintcha." My brother glowered at me. "Ah'm twenty years old!"
"That reminds me, we need to get you a booster seat!" I announced with a smirk that could terrify the Cheshire cat.
Ginny snorted at my antics, but shook her head as she headed for the Royal Suite. Us ponies decided to head downstairs to the hotel cafeteria.
Erishy tapped her hoof, considering something. "Wait so my average between Shy and Erica is 20, so what does that make you Reid?"
It took me a few seconds to realize she was talking about age. "Let's see, twenty two and seventeen..." I grinned confidently. "Four hundred and sixty three."
"Nineteen an' a half," Ian corrected sardonically.
"Right, forgot to carry the five." I couldn't help but giggle at my own joke, turning around to wink at my brother. That's how I noticed he had tripped over his own hooves, faceplanting into the carpet. I trotted to him, picking him up and placing him on my back. "We'll work on walking later. For the bathroom, though, you're on your own."
"Aw, don't be mean to poor Apple Bloom," Erishy scolded me. From the way she giggled afterward, though, I surmised she wasn't too serious in her admonishment.
"I'm giving her a ride, how is that mean?"
"Ah get that this is funny ta ya," the filly reminded us, "but Ah just woke up like this. Can ya'll at least keep treating me like Ian?"
I took a breath, ashamed at how lightly I had been treating his situation. He had it worse off then I did, in a lot of ways. "...My apologies. It's just been a stressful few days and... well, I take the funnies where I can." I should not have been so flippant and eager, I'd read enough internet fiction to realize that and were those PANCAKES?! "OH YES PANCAKES."
Erishy was busy saying something to Ian, but I didn't care anymore. PANCAKES. Sweet, glorious, golden pancakes. And since I was Pinkie Pie, I could totally get away with taking this huge stack of pancakes over to the table. The pegasus got breakfast for herself and helped Ian, who was now too short to reach the counter; they walked over to join me for a wonderful breakfast.
Said wonderful breakfast was suddenly interrupted when Jackie, having woken up and put on DE MAJICKS, grabbed the filly out of his seat and ran him up the stairs before he could take a single bite.
"...I would be more worried about this if I didn't know Jackie," I admitted.