The Other Hoofball

by YukoAsho


Well, That Was Interesting.

“Well, that was interesting.”

Tea blinked as she heard her son's sigh, quickly brushing through her curly pink mane and checking her white coat for any imperfections. The last thing she needed was to have to explain what she and his father Crumpet were doing a couple hours ago. “Coming, darling!” she cried out sweetly as she trotted out of the bathroom.

Pipsqueak had a confused gaze in his eyes as he looked at his mum, his mottled brown-and-white coat and messy brown mane and tail shimmering with fresh sweat as he trotted up to his mother and nuzzled her chest.

“So, how was Hayston?” she asked sweetly, running a fore-hoof through her boy's hair.

“It was very hot,” he quipped. “I'm actually quite happy it was drizzling when we got back to Ponyville.” He looked up at his mum and laughed a bit. “And they barbecue everything, I swear. I didn't even know you could barbecue roses.”

Tea shared in her son's laughter. “We should go with your father some time, then,” she replied with a smirk. “You know him and barbecue.”

“Aye!” Pipsqueak nodded happily at his mother. “Just be careful they don't drown it in barbecue sauce.” He looked back and forth suspiciously, his eyes narrowed as he swung his head back and forth in that cutely exaggerated way foals do, looking for anything that might listen in. “Oh, and don't trust them when they tell you they're going to watch some hoofball,” he whispered.

That sent Tea's eye arching upward. “Oh?” she asked. “Why wouldn't I trust some pony saying that?”

“Well...” Pip tapped his lower lip with a fore hoof contemplatively, as if trying to figure out how to explain it. “It's funny, it is,” he murmured. “Apple Bloom said it was hoofball, but...”

“But?” Tea was getting curious now. She knew those lovely apple farmers valued honesty, so was surprised to hear her son questioning what was going on.

“Well, the pitch had all these lines on it, for one,” Pip explained, “And there was very little kicking.” He scratched the top of his head, biting his lower lip. “Whoever heard of hoofball games where ponies hold the ball in their forelegs!?”

“Oh dear!” Tea exclaimed, a cute little smile on her face. “That does sound different!”

“Aye, it doesn't stop there, mum!” Pipsqueak exclaimed. “They wear these huge helmets!” He stood up on his hind legs and stretched his forelegs outward as he said 'huge,' making his mother laugh a bit. “And there wasn't a lot of running either! They'd get into these lines, then do something, then stop, then repeat, and there was very little back-and-forth. It was really not that creative.” A shudder went through his body. “It looks like it hurts, though!” he continued. “I don't get how ponies could just run into each other like that for two hours!”

Tea nodded softly, grinning and running a hoof through her son's hair.

“And the noise!” Pip resumed. “There wasn't any singing or drums or anything! Just lots of screaming and booing! We were next to this one mare who just wouldn't stop yelling at the top of her lungs the whole match!”

“It's different, isn't it?” Tea murmured sweetly as she took a seat on the couch and patted the spot next to her.

Pipsqueak was happy to be off his hooves, practically leaping onto the couch next to his mum. “I'll say!” he exclaimed. “I figured every pony knew how hoofball worked!”

“Well, we are quite a long way from home,” Tea gently reminded her son. “Things are a bit different around here in Western Equestria.”

“Aye.” Pipsqueak nodded softly, marveling at his mum's gift for understatement.

“Still, it's not all bad,” Tea continued, looking down at her son with a soft smile. “The world would be rather boring if every pony were the same.”

“I suppose so.” Hearing his mum say it, he couldn't help but agree that things were very, very different here in the western lands. “Still, Apple Bloom was pretty happy at least. Though I think she might have been relishing in my confusion.”

Again, Tea let out a little laugh. “Oh dear, I imagine that she's just enjoying the irony of it all.” She leaned over and kissed her little colt on the forehead. “You saw how she was when we took her to the game last week.”

Pip's eyes suddenly flashed with realization. “So that's why she was so cross.”

“I imagine so, yes,” Tea agreed.

The two of them simply chuckled at their realization.