//------------------------------// // Are You Ready for Some Hoofball! // Story: Just a Friendly Game // by veryoriginalponyname //------------------------------// In a vast, open section of the park, Pinkie Pie finished setting up little clusters of multi-colored balloons to mark the end zones as well as the out-of-bounds areas. Where she found so many balloons that seemed to appear out of nowhere... It's Pinkie Pie; everypony gave up trying to understand her a long time ago. Once she finished weighing down the last set of balloons with a rock, she giddily bounded over to her friends, who were gathered in the center of the field. Rainbow Dash and Applejack had naturally decided to go against each other, being the rivals that they were. And of course there was no way in Tartarus Rarity was going to team up with Rainbow Dash, so she and Fluttershy made up Applejack's team while Twilight and Pinkie were with Dash. An earth pony, a pegasus and a unicorn on each team... seemed fair. "Alright, here's how we'll do this..." Dash began. "Since the field we're playing on is roughly half the size of a normal Hoofball, we'll forget the whole first down thing and just give you four shots to get into the end zone. If you fail to get in, you turn the ball over to the other team. Now, Fluttershy and I won't use our wings, and Twilight and Rarity aren't allowed to use magic to catch the ball. You can use your hooves to tip the ball if you want, but throwing and catching has to be done entirely with our mouths, just like the pros do." Twilight raised an eyebrow at that. "Um, I assume we'll be wiping the the ball off after each play, right?" Dash chuckled a bit. "Well, I kinda had a feeling you'd be worried about that, so I guess I should tell you that I spit in everypony's dandelion sandwiches before the picnic. And now that you know that you all have my loogies inside you, you probably won't be as grossed out by putting your mouths on the same Hoofball." Everypony's response was just a horrified stare. Even Pinkie Pie couldn't stifle a gag. Dash could only hold her composure for a few seconds before she burst out laughing. "Joking! Joking! I wouldn't do that to you guys!" Nopony seemed particularly amused at that, aside from Pinkie Pie, who managed to crack a small smile. It was just damn near impossible to get her angry. Dash laughed for a little while longer while the rest of the group just continued to scowl at her. She took it to the point of awkwardness, then abruptly went serious. "Actually, just don't let your tongues touch it and we should be fine. Everypony cool with that?" They all took a moment to think about it, then nodded simultaneously. "Well, I suppose this can't get anymore uncouth than it already is," Rarity moaned. She still appeared quite determined to exact revenge on Rainbow Dash, but there was no denying that she was dying a little inside. "Okay then," Twilight said. "We get four tries to score or else the other team gets the ball and all throwing and catching has to be done with our mouths. What are we playing to?" Dash thought for a moment. "How about... first team to five touchdowns wins?" "Sounds fine ta me," Applejack said, and nopony objected. "First to five touchdowns..." Twilight took a mental note. "Now, I assume we're playing Touch Hoofball, right?" Dash just gave her an awkward stare for a moment, then chuckled awkwardly. "Uh, heh heh, No, Twi, we're tackling. Touch Hoofball's for wussies." "Oh, um..." Fluttershy began to shuffle nervously. "I'm not sure I'm okay with that." "Yeah, me neither," Applejack said. "You and I might be tough enough to take some hits, but the others ain't quite got the same build as us. Somepony might get hurt, Dash." "Oh, come on!" Dash groaned. "We're not like those big bad professionals; nopony's gonna get seriously hurt. Maybe a few bruises and scratches, but nothing serious. AJ and I will hold back on our full strength a little if that makes you feel better." "Well," Twilight thought for a moment. "I guess I'm okay with that. I'm sure Pinkie doesn't mind either." The pink pony nodded enthusiastically. "And as for Rarity..." The ivory unicorn was still glaring daggers at Rainbow Dash. "...Yeeeeaaaaaaah..." She then turned to Fluttershy, who was visibly trembling now. Twilight frowned sympathetically. "I think we should maybe make Fluttershy the exception, though. I don't want to see her get hurt." "Yeah, I reckon that's fair 'nough," Applejack agreed. Rainbow Dash sighed and rolled her eyes. "Fine, no tackling Fluttershy," she groaned. "Um, thank you," Fluttershy appeared a bit calmer now. "I appreciate your understanding." Rarity's expression softened a bit, and she gave the shy pegasus a kind nuzzle. "And if anypony breaks that rule, they'll have me to deal with," she whispered in her ear. "Especially if it's Rainbow Dash." "So, is that everything?" Dash asked as she pumped herself up. "Well actually..." Twilight said. "Shouldn't we have a referee or something? Don't they have those in professional games?" "Twi, it's just backyard Hoofball. Who cares if we commit penalties or something? I can pretty much guarantee that every play is going to have some kind of penalty since we're not playing like the pros." "Well, I wasn't thinking about penalties so much as I was about just having an unbiased spectator to act as a judge for whenever a certain play looks questionable. It'll keep us from spending too much time arguing." "That's... a pretty good point, I guess," Dash admitted. "Still, who are we gonna find to ref for us? We're like, the only one's in the park today." "I think I see a suitable candidate," Rarity said in a sing-song voice as she pointed off to an area behind Twilight. They all turned to see the familiar form of Twilight's number-one assistant, Spike strolling right by the park, happily feasting on a triple scoop strawberry ice cream cone, peppered with tiny glistening gem shards. Twilight had given him the day off as a reward for all the hard work he'd done the past few days. She wondered if making him ref their game would be the same as putting him to work, which she wouldn't feel right about. But then again, he was a big fan of Hoofball, and was also the one who filled her in on some aspects of the game. Maybe he'd enjoy doing this for them. "Hey, Spike!" Twilight called to him, capturing his attention immediately. "Come here for a minute!" Spike pointed at himself and mouthed the word "Me?" Twilight gave a slight roll of her eyes. No, Spike, I was talking to that little squirrel digging around in that trash can next to you. She prevented herself from vocalizing that sarcastic thought and just gave a gesture with her hoof for him to come over. Spike still looked a bit confused as he took his time walking over to them, taking a few more licks of his ice cream along the way. "Sup, Twi?" he greeted with a nod to his guardian and closest friend. "You enjoying the picnic?" "Listen up, Spike," Twilight began in a tone of authority. "The girls and I are gonna play a quick game of Hoofball and we need you to ref for us." Spike just stared at her in silent disbelief for a moment. A small glob of melted strawberry ice cream dropped from the bottom of the cone and hit the ground with a *plip* that was just barely audible in the awkward silence. "You're playing Hoofball?" He finally said, sounding as if he hadn't heard her right. "You... are gonna playHoofball?!" "Yeah, we all are!" Twilight said with an excited smile and a chipper tone. "I figured I'd give it a try because, well, it might be kinda fun!" Spike slowly looked over the whole group, his mouth slightly agape. He could definitely see Rainbow Dash and Applejack doing this kind of thing, maybe Pinkie Pie too. But Fluttershy? And Rarity? Especially Rarity! The young dragon couldn't help but crack a delighted smirk. "Oh, this oughta be good!" He said, bouncing up and down in excitement. But before long his smile faded a bit, and his excitement diminished. "But, do I really have to be a ref? I mean, I like watching Hoofball, and I wouldn't mind playing it sometime. But being a ref? Nopony likes those guys! It's like the most hated job in the world! Didn't you hear about that game in Cloudsdale where the ref made a really bad call and the fans threw beer bottles at him?" Rainbow Dash gave a small laugh. "Oh yeah, I remember that game..." she said reminiscently. "Cloudsdale fans don't take kindly to getting jipped." Applejack snorted in disgust. "That was downright pathetic behavior on their part." "You can't really blame them for being upset though; that stupid call killed their playoff hopes," Dash said a bit defensively. "Oh, so mindlessly tossing glass bottles around and almost seriously hurtin' somepony is jus' fine an' dandy behavior?!" Applejack asked incredulously. "Hey, I've said several times, 'Don't mess with Cloudsdale fans, they take that sport very seriously!" Dash's voice raised significantly, her tone defensive. "So, Spike!" Twilight interrupted quickly before an argument could arise. "Think you're up to it? Don't be nervous; it's just us six here. Nopony's gonna be watching us. We promise we won't get mad at you or anything, because all we want is a freindly game. Just call it to the best of your ability, as honestly as possible, and everything will be fine." "Uhhh..." Spike rubbed the back of his neck, still looking pretty unsure about this whole thing. At that moment, his beloved unicorn crush leaned in close to him. "Do it for me, Spikey-Wikey?" Rarity pleaded with a wide-eyed puppy dog look. When it came to Rarity, that look was all it took for Spike's heart to melt like butter. The love-struck young dragon smiled sheepishly, cheeks glowing red, and let out a sigh. "Oh, all right. I'll do it for you, Rarity." he said in goofy, lovey-dovey voice. "Ohhhhhh! My hero!" Rarity swooned, causing the little guy to blush even more. "Just let me just finish my ice cream and I'll-" Spike halted abruptly as he lifted the cone to his mouth and saw that his beloved frozen dairy product was completely gone, save for a small collection of pink melted goop at the bottom of the cone. With a horrified expression he turned his gaze upwards to see a widely grinning Pinkie Pie with blots of darker pink and specks of gems surrounding her mouth. "Pinkie, my ice cream!" he cried. "I was looking forward to it all day! Why would you do that?!" "Sorry," Pinkie said, as chipper as ever. "I was just so anxious to start playing and I didn't really feel like waiting too long! I hope you're not too mad at me! I'll give you a free cupcake later if that would make you feel better!" "But I want ice cream!" Spike whined. "Um, Pinkie? You know there were gem shards on that ice cream, right?" Twilight asked worriedly. "There were?" Pinkie replied, her smile not faltering in the slightest. "Well that explains why I'm tasting blood right now. Still, I've always wondered what gems tasted like..." "Pinkie, our bodies can't digest gems the way a dragon's body can," Twilight pointed out. "So?" Pinkie said as if it was no big deal. "So?!" Twilight replied incredulously. "So... let's just say we're all going be feeling very sorry for you in a few hours..." Twilight shivered at the thought, then turned to her assistant. "Spike, I'll buy you another one after the game. For now, please go get in position at the the side of the field." Spike groaned and pouted his lips in anger, but did as he was told. He knew Twilight would be true to her word, but still... "I went from helping to save the Crystal Empire to having my ice cream taken from me and being forced to ref a stupid, meaningless backyard Hoofball game," he grumbled as he stomped to the sidelines. "My life sucks..." "So then," Twilight said as she turned back to her friends. "Are we ready to start?" "One more thing," Rainbow Dash said. "How about we add some stakes to this thing, just to make it a bit more interesting." Applejack cocked an eyebrow at that suggestion. "I'm listenin'." "Uh, girls? Friendly game, remember?" Twilight pointed out. "Quiet, darling," Rarity hushed her. "This may prove to be quite delicious..." Rainbow Dash rubbed her chin in thought for a moment before a nasty smirk spread across her face. "How about this: The losers have to give the winners a rub-down at the end of the game!" "Whoa, now that there sounds purty harsh," Applejack said, sounding somewhat unsure... until her face broke into a determined grin. "I like it!" "How utterly humiliating it will be for the losers," Rarity added, rubbing her forehooves together, a sinister grin gracing her features. Only Fluttershy seemed to be uncomfortable with this new development. She shuffled her hooves around uncomfortably, but chose not to say anything against it at the risk of sparking more arguements. "Well, I guess if that's what everypony wants..." Twilight said with a sigh. "I guess it's still just a friendly game in the end. And a rub-down would probably feel pretty good after such an exhausting physical effort." "Oh, I wouldn't get your hopes up, dear," Rarity said coolly. "It's doubtful you will be the one's receiving them at the end of the day." Twilight stared wide-eyed at her usually graceful and elegant friend for a moment. Well that was rather uncalled for... "Pretty big words there, Rarity," Twilight said haughtily. Her eyes suddenly narrowed. "But actions speak louder than words..." "Indeed." Rarity didn't seem at all phased. "Which is why now is the time to act!" She turned to glare at Rainbow Dash, then cried out loud, "Vengeance shall be mine!" Dash lowered her body into a cat-like pouncing position, her eyes narrowed in determination. "Alright, it's on now!" She announced in a tone of finality. "Since it's my ball, we get first possession!" "Fine, I love playin' defense!" Applejack bragged. "Gives me the chance ta pummel ya real good!" "Yeah, whatever, good luck with that, Applesmack," Dash teased as she picked up the ball and carried it under her wing. "Let's do this!" With that, the group headed to one of the far sides of the field. Twilight trotted up between Dash and Pinkie, looking more than a bit apprehensive. She was practically shaking with nervousness and anticipation. "I really don't want to lose now, girls," she said, sounding like she was struggling to keep her lunch down. "We won't," Dash replied matter of factly. "Applejack's the only one over there who knows Hoofball. Rarity and Fluttershy have absolutely no experience whatsoever. Now with our team; Pinkie and I are crazy Hoofball fans, and you said a while ago you know a few things about it. I'd say that gives us a pretty strong advantage! They're no match for us!" "Um, Dash? In case you haven't noticed, Rarity really seems to have it in for you... for all of us actually..." Twilight said, sounding rather full of dread. "Pfft! I'm not afraid of that drama queen," Dash said snarkily, with a wave of her hoof. "Just watch, on the very first play she'll chip a hoof and call the whole game off." "You know, Rarity's not exactly a pushover," Twilight warned ominously. "Remember our battle with the Changelings in Canterlot? I swear that one Changeling was not moving at all after Rarity clocked it! Not only that, but I could've sworn I heard a snap..." "That's probably because they were way more brittle than us, though," Dash said. Her once confident face then slowly began to form into a bitter scowl, and Twilight immediately knew where this was going... "Dash, don't even start!" she snapped. "I told you a million times now that I don't want to hear it anymore!" "Seriously, why did we give up?" Dash asked angrily, ignoring Twilight completely. "I could've knocked around those buggers all day! They were total whimps!" She then shot a scathing glance towards the now visibly annoyed unicorn. "But noooooooo! You just had pussy out right when we were practically within smelling distance of the Elements! I was so ready to charge right in there and fight my way through 'em, but what do you decide to do instead?!" Dash, not bothering to wait for an answer, held up her hoof and twirled it around as if she were waving an invisible white flag. "We surrender!" she shouted with mock pride. "Hey! We were pretty heavily overwhelmed there, Dash! It wouldn't have been wise to risk ourselves any further!" Twilight shouted back defensively. "Besides, we're a team; we stand together and we fall together! And by 'together' I mean all six of us! Besides, it didn't really matter in the end anyway, did it! We still won! Due in no small part to the fact that that hag Queen of their's has no idea how to handle hostages! 'Yeah, I'm just gonna turn away from the six ponies who I've done absolutely nothing to incapacitate whatsoever and just assume they won't try anything funny!' Seriously, she was so oblivious! I can actually look back on that day and laugh now!" "Ya know," Dash said. "The second she turned her back, I was totally gonna bolt for the exit... try to make another break for the Elements. Then I saw you were up to something and decided to just let it play out. Guess I made the right move in the end..." Her expression suddenly hardened. "But one of these days, I swear I'm gonna track that hag down, get right up in her mug, and just be like, 'Me! You! Your entire horde! Round Two, Baby!'" "Hee hee! You go, Dashie!" Pinkie Pie cheered for her friend. Twilight just smiled and shook her head. "Oh Dashie..." she muttered quietly "Maybe someday we will get a round two..." Her expression then melted into one of slight confusion. "Wow, we've really kind gone off track here! What were we talking about before the whole Royal Wedding debacle?" Pinkie Pie quickly answered, "You were telling us about how you think Rarity might've actually killed a Changeling just by punching it in the face and now we're worried she might do the same thing to Dashie in a friendly game of Hoofball." Twilight went wide-eyed at hearing that. "Wow... what was I thinking saying something like that?" she scolded herself. She turned to Rainbow Dash, who was attempting to look as bold and confident as ever, though there was no hiding that slight nervous twitch in her eye. "Dash, Rarity's not gonna do anything like that to you," she said assuringly. "She's still your friend after all, and that's not gonna change because of some silly Hoofball game." Dash snorted crudely. "Yeah well, I'm not gonna go easy on her, even if we are friends. I'm not gonna settle on anything less than my A-game for this, especially with that bet involved." Twilight's face fell at hearing that. "Oh right, the bet. I almost forgot about that," she mumbled quietly to herself. Maybe this game wasn't gonna be so "silly" after all... "C'mon, girls! Let's just try to have fun!" Pinkie Pie said cheerfully, in an effort to perk up her team. "That's what the whole point of this game is, right?" "Of course, Pinkie. You're absolutely right!" Twilight said with a smile so obviously forced that Twist could tell it was fake without her glasses and with lemon juice stinging her eyes. The "smile" quickly curled into more of a nasty sneer. She added in a quieter tone, "But if we win this thing, the fun will most definitely be doubled!" "Ya got that right, Twi!" Dash said confidently, pumping her hoof in the air. "There is absolutely no way in Tartarus I'm rubbing AJ's gross, sweaty back at the end of the day! Let's kick some flank!" With one last confident cheer, the trio then got into position at about ten yards from their own end zone. A good distance away in front of them, Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy stood huddled together, the latter visibly shivering with fear, while the other two just glared meanacingly at their opponents. "What in the name of Celestia were they finding so funny a moment ago?" Rarity asked, her tone dripping with venom. "Don't rightly know, don't rightly care." Applejack replied indifferently. "It don't matter worth a wooden bit right now. Both ya'll get in close here." Applejack pulled in the heads of her two teamates close to her and stared at them both intently. "Now here's how we're gonna do this; I'll focus on Rainbow Dash while you two cover Twilight and Pinkie. The way this usually works is I hafta count ta three before I can rush her. What you girls need to do is stick to the others as best you can, don't allow them to get too wide open, make sure Dash has no chance of risking a pass that could be blocked or picked off. Ya'll think you can do that?" "Um, I guess," Fluttershy squeaked. "I shall do my best," Rarity said with a bit more confidence than her pegasus friend. "Though if I may make a suggestion, if you happen to get to Rainbow Dash... hold nothing back." "That's the idea," Applejack said with a smirk. "Let's give 'em a good whoop fer, huh?" "Here here," Rarity said, her head held high in pride. "Yay," Fluttershy cheered. She was barely audible. Meanwhile, over on the offensive side of the ball, Rainbow Dash had her team gathered in close around her, a safe distance away from Team Applejack. "Okay, so here's how we'll do this for now," Dash began. "I've got a few sweet plays up in my mental playbook here," she tapped her forehead with her hoof, "but we should really save them for special occasions. We don't want to get too predictable, after all. For now, I just want you two to focus on getting open as quickly as possible. Applejack has to count to three before she can come after me. Now, I'm more nimble than her, and I can throw pretty well on the run, but I'd rather not be forced to throw under pressure; that's a sure way to throw a pick right there. You both understand well enough?" Pinkie nodded vigorously. Twilight gave a nervous smile. "I... think so..." she said, failing to sound as confident as she wanted to. She waited a few seconds before asking, "What's a pick?" Dash facehoofed. "Just do what I asked you to do, okay?" she groaned. Bothe teams were ready now. They approached the line of scrimmage and got into a crouching position. Rainbow Dash placed the ball down in front of her and fastened her mouth tightly around it. She glanced up at Applejack, who was glaring down at her with her toughest war face. Rainbow matched it with her own intimidating glare, though she ended up looking a little more goofy than threatening with the big Hoofball jammed in her mouth. Twilight found herself face to face with Rarity on Dash's left, while Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy faced each other on the right. Spike, who had for the time let his ice cream mishap go, focused intently on the two teams. "Shouldn't I have a whistle or something?" He muttered to himself. He shrugged, "Ah, who cares." Rarity glared at Twilight with an almost animatistic determination that she had never used before. Twilight, now deeply determined not to lose, glared back with the same level of intensity. Fluttershy just pawed at the ground nervously, looking as meek and humble as ever. She really stuck out like a sore hoof compared to how in the moment the others were. It wasn't helping at all that huge grin Pinkie was giving her was only serving to disturb her more than set her at ease. 'Hiya, Flutters!" Pinkie greeted in an unnervingly cheerful voice. "Ready to have some fun?" "Um, I-I guess..." Fluttershy answered weakly. "Don't let her psyche ya out, Fluttershy!" Applejack called over to her, her focus still on Rainbow Dash. "Oh, um... okay." Fluttershy sucked in a deep breath, puffed out her chest, put on at tough face and raised her voice a little. "You don't scare me, you... you... silly filly!" Pinkie Pie just giggled at her friends adorable attempt at intimidation, causing Applejack to roll her eyes. It was a start at least, but she still had quite a ways to go. "Hrrgh... hrrghgh..." Rainbow Dash's words were muffled by the ball. "Hrrgh... hrrgh... HGUGH!" she pulled back into a passing position and Twilight and Pinkie Pie took off with Rarity and Fluttershy right on their tails. "So it begins..." Spike said ominously, his eyes following the action intently. "One Appleoosa... Two Appleoosa..." Applejack counted out loud. She hopped back and forth a tiny bit on her hooves in anticipation, eager to take off once she hit three, desperate for the incredible satisfaction that would come with slamming that snarky pegasus to the ground. Dash scanned the field before her. To her great annoyance, Twilight was running the most ridiculous, incomprehensible route she had ever seen; cutting left and right, up and down so sporadically that if Dash attempted to pass to her, she would probably zing off in another direction and miss it. On top of that, Rarity was matching her movements flawlessly, never more than a single step behind her. Dash quickly snapped her attention to Pinkie Pie, who had just managed to give her defender the slip by pulling an almost physics defying juke. Poor Fluttershy, who had actually managed to do a decent job of keeping up with her at first, ended up getting her legs tangled together and went crashing to ground with an "Eep!" This left Pinkie wide open. "Three Appleoosa!" Applejack charged at full speed towards Rainbow Dash, but the pegasus was able to zing the ball out over her head before she was within tackling distance. It was a beautiful spiral, and it was dead on target. Pinkie made a jaw-dropping leaping catch and managed to land on all fours. Dash was able to see that her pass was complete, but nothing after that as Applejack's forward momentum sent her crashing into the pegasus. They both tumbled to the ground with heavy grunts. Pinkie had an open field in front of her. She could've easily gone all the way, but Rarity broke off from Twilight and was at her before she could get too far. The ivory unicorn dove gracefully in front of Pinkie, tripping her up and sending her tumbling to the ground. "Alright, you're down." Spike called out, raising a closed fist to the air. It was easily a fifteen yard gain. "Nice catch, Pinkie!" Twilight congratulated her friend excitedly. "You almost broke free!" "Thanks, Twilight," Pinkie replied with a smile. "But ya know, if you had blocked Rarity, I probably would've broke free. Receivers have to block too sometimes. Try to remember that, okay?" "Oh, um, sure," Twilight said, her smile fading to slight frown of disappointment. Rainbow Dash and Applejack had just gotten back to their hooves, the former with a rather nasty scowl on her face. "Hey, Spike!" She called out to the dragon. "How about a roughing the passer penalty?" Applejack glowered at the pegasus. "Aw horseapples! That weren't no roughin' the passer! 'Sides, I thought we weren't worryin' about penalties." "Yeah well, that was before we decided the losing team would pretty much be stripped of their dignity," Dash retorted. "And yeah, I know the rub-down thing was my idea, but I don't want the winning team to get it by having played dirty!" "Well... fair 'nough, I s'pose," Applejack sighed. "But that still weren't no roughin' the passer!" "I believe that's up to our ref over there," Dash said. She turned to Spike with a hopeful look. The dragon shuffled his feet nervously. "Uh, actually that wasn't really roughing the passer," he said with a hint of apprehension. "Applejack had no time to stop herself before hitting you. Plus she didn't go in low or head first. It was a pretty legit play from what I saw." Rainbow Dash sent a scathing look at the baby dragon. "You better not be going easy on them because Rarity's on their team!" Rarity scoffed in offense. "How dare you?! "My little Spikey would never lower himself to such levels of unfairness! Not even for moi!" she then turned to Spike and gave him a quick cunning smile and wink. The baby dragon honestly had no idea what to make of it. Was that supposed to be just a friendly wink, or is she trying to imply something? Spike decided to just shrug it off for now. Fluttershy finally managed to untangle her legs and stand up again. She slowly trotted over to her teammates, her cheeks red and her head hanging low in shame. "Are you alright, dear?" Rarity asked with concern. "Yes, I'm okay," Fluttershy answered quietly. "That was an excellent stop you made, Rarity. I'm sorry I nearly blew it for us. I'm so useless..." "Hey now, don't you fret none," Applejack chided gently with a smile. "Ya didn't blow nothin' yet, ya hear? They didn't score, we can still stop 'em! Just try ta keep yer balance a little better next time. I know you'll git the hang o' this sooner 'r later. Jus' don't give up!" "Oh- okay," Fluttershy answered, lifting her head a bit. "I'll keep trying I guess." A few feet away, Rainbow Dash gathered her team together. She smiled proudly at their earth pony member. "Awesome job, Pinkie! The first play and we're already about half-way there! Keep doing what your doing!" "Will do, Dashie!" Pinkie said with a snappy salute. Dash then turned to Twilight, her expression showing significantly less pride. "Look, Twi, I know I said to just try your best to get open, but you were all over the freakin' field! There was no way I could've hit you with how often you were cutting off in different directions." "I know, and I'm sorry," Twilight apologized, looking rather embarrassed. "It's just that Rarity was all over me! Nothing I could do was helping me get away from her! I didn't know she could be that fast!" Dash sighed and nodded. "Yeah, no kidding. She says she's never played or even liked Hoofball, and she's already moving like a pro out there! But don't worry, we won't let her intimidate us! I know a couple routes you can run that are easy enough for me to follow and still keep you ahead of her. Like a curl route; run straight ahead a good few yards then jerk back towards me. Do it well enough and she might just overshoot you while she's in pursuit. Or maybe try a slant route, like what Pinkie did on the last play; just run diagonally in front of me. As long as you stay ahead of Rarity, I should be able to hit you." Twilight took that all in and nodded. "Alright, I'll try those!" Dash grinned gave her a slap on the back "Awesome, let's do this!" Once again the two teams assumed their positions, Fluttershy and Twilight looking a bit more confident this time around. "HGUGH!" Dash hiked, and Applejack began her count. Dash scanned the field again. Though Fluttershy was doing a better job of staying on her hooves this time, Pinkie was still way out of her reach. She had actually made it right up close to the end zone, just a few yards shy of being in. With how far behind Fluttershy was, Dash could've easily rocketed the ball to her and Pinkie would just waltz right in untouched. But then she noticed Twilight attempting a slant route in front of her. Rarity was once again hot on her heels, but there was just enough of a window to squeeze a pass in. Pinkie may have been a sure touchdown, but Dash felt she really oughta give Twilight a chance. The adorkable egghead really seemed to take an interest in this sport, and she was clearly trying her best. She really deserved a shot. Dash got the pass off a little faster this time. Applejack barely finished saying "Three" by the time it left Dash's mouth. It was another great pass, thrown just ahead of Twilight. It was also a short pass, probably good for about eight yards, unless Twilight managed to break the tackle. Twilight saw that the pass was going to be right on the money. She opened her mouth wide and felt it wedge right between her teeth. It was barely secure for a second when she felt somepony (it had to be Rarity) come barreling into her backside with such force that the ball was instantly jarred loose, dropping to the ground along with the two unicorns. Spike waved his arms in front of him and called out, "Incomplete!" Rainbow Dash groaned and stomped the ground in frustration. She was already regretting not going for Pinkie. Applejack stared wide-eyed at Rarity as she and Fluttershy shambled back over to her. "Dang, Rare! You sure you ain't never played b'fore?" "Never once," Rarity answered matter-of-factly. "I suppose it just comes naturally to me, like dress making. Although I also suppose it helps that I'm also being driven by a burning desire for revenge." she gave a rather demented chuckle. "Heh heh, sure," Applejack muttered with a nervous forced smile. She muttered quietly to herself, "Crazy prima donna..." On the offensive side, Rainbow Dash gave Twilight a stern, though not entirely scathing look. "I'm sorry," Twilight said sadly. "I was so close! I almost had it! I-I just-" "Don't trip, Twi," Dash said calmly, giving her friend a gentle hoof nudge. "It was an improvement, at least. A small one, but definitely an improvement. I'm not giving up on you yet. What you gotta remember is to actually make the catch before trying to run." She then took a moment to think up the next play. "Alright, I know we still have two shots left, but I think I'm gonna drop the bomb on this one; they shouldn't be expecting that this early. Both of you just bolt right for the end zone, and I'll hit whoever's more open, and no offense, Twi, but that's most likely gonna be Pinkie Pie, considering she's been leaving Fluttershy in the dust so far." "I understand," Twilight said softly with a nod. With that, the teams returned to the line. "HGUGH!" Dash dropped back further this time, shifting her gaze back and forth between her receivers. As expected, Rarity was right on top of Twilight, and Fluttershy was miles behind Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash didn't waste a second; she flung the ball with all her might and watched it sail. It was an absolutely perfect rainbow pass, and it was once again right on the money. The moment she saw it, Applejack knew it was a lost cause. "Aw shoot!" she moaned. Pinkie pin-pointed exactly where the ball was going to land and sped up her gallop to meet it. Fluttershy watched with tears of shame in her eyes as Pinkie made another spectacular leaping catch and tumbled right into the end zone. "She makes it look so easy..." Fluttershy whispered to herself. Spike raised his clawed hands above his head. "Touchdown!" "WHOOOO!" Rainbow Dash and Twilight both cheered as they galloped up to Pinkie, who was dancing with joy in the end zone, and joined her in celebrating Applejack sighed sadly and shook her head. "Consarnit, Fluttershy," she muttered, already starting to regret this team arrangement. Her teammates approached her, Rarity looking more frustrated than deflated, and Fluttershy looking absolutely distraught. The sensitive pegasus sniffled as she wiped a few tears from her red and puffy eyes. Applejack frowned when she realized Fluttershy might've heard her when she cursed her name a moment ago. "I-I'm so sorry, everypony," Fluttershy whimpered. "M-maybe I should j-just quit now. I'm q-quite clearly holding this team back. You'll never win with me." "Hey now, don't be talkin' like that," Applejack said encouragingly. She was going to make an honest effort to be more patient with Fluttershy for the rest of the game, because bereting her viscously would do nothing to help the team. "We ain't finished yet, sugarcube! Not by a long shot! So what? They're only up a touchdown; they still got a ways ta go! We'll be sure ta stop 'em next time! But fer now... it's our turn ta try an' score. An' ya wanna know another thing? It took 'em three shots to get in... I betchya it'll take us only two!" "You can't give up now, dear!" Rarity added with determination. "Rainbow Dash must pay for what she did to me! Without your help, we might as well forfeit the game! That simply cannot happen!" "Darn right!" Applejack whooped. "And there ain't no way, no way, I'm spendin' the end o' the day bein' Rainbow Dash's personal masseuse!" She gently wrapped a foreleg around Fluttershy and gave her a squeeze. "Yer gonna get better as the day goes on, I know it! Jus' don't get discouraged!" Fluttershy's crying subsided a bit, and she even managed a small smile. "Okay," she said with a sniffle. "I guess I'll keep playing... for now." With that, Team Applejack took their positions on offense, ten yards in front of their end zone. Team Rainbow Dash lined up opposite them, bursting with confidence from their early lead. Twilight seemed particularly anxious to have a chance to give Rarity the same trouble the fashionista had been giving her now that she was on defense. "HGUHG!" Applejack made a similar noise to Rainbow Dash as she set up to pass. "One Appleoosa... Two Appleoosa..." Dash counted. Applejack pivoted about sporadically, checking her two possible targets. Much to her disappointment, Fluttershy was being completely dwarfed by Pinkie Pie, who was practically bounding circles around her. As badly as she wanted to give Fluttershy a chance, there was just no way she could complete a pass to her with that kind of coverage. When she turned to Rarity, she saw a much more manageable passing attempt. Twilight was fairly close, but Rarity was keeping ahead of her as she slanted towards center field. "Three Appleoosa!" Rainbow Dash charged. In a panic, Applejack it fly, and the second it left her mouth, she knew she'd under-thrown it. It was going to end up skimming into the grass at Rarity's hooves. But before she could curse herself, she saw Dash leap into the air and raise her hooves to block the pass. She had mis-timed her jump, however, and instead ended up pushing the ball upwards, giving it a bit of an exta boost. Applejack watched in awe as the ball continued to travel forward at virtually the same momentum. It had a chance now. Rarity seemed to know this as she positioned herself where she was sure the ball would land. Twilight was briefly distracted by the bizarre flight pattern of the ball. She had seen Applejack toss it, in the brief second she looked away to check on Rarity she missed Rainbow Dash's attempted block, and now was trying to piece together how it was scientifically possible for the ball to travel that way. But when she suddenly remembered what it was she was supposed to be doing, it was too late; Rarity had gracefully caught the ball and was off to the races. With a look of pure horror on her face, Twilight took off after her fellow unicorn. Rarity was fast, but trying to keep control of the ball while running was slowing her down a bit. Twilight managed to catch up to her when she was about fifteen yards from scoring. She leaped forward and wrapped her forelegs around Rarity's backside, certain she would be successful in dragging her down. It took Twilight a few seconds to realize that Rarity had, in fact, not gone down, and was dragging her along as she trudged towards the end zone. "I- I-" Twilight stammered, unable to believe what was happening. "I can't bring her down!" "I'll save you, Twilight!" Pinkie cried as she sped to the rescue. She reached Rarity just as she was about ten yards away from paydirt and grabbed the other side of her. Rarity slowed significantly, moving at about the speed of a tortoise... but she still refused to go down. Pinkie and Twilight could feel themselves being dragged along. They looked at each other wide-eyed, simply too stunned for words. They were putting every last ounce of their weight into pulling her down, and Rarity was just trudging right along! She didn't even seem to be struggling all that hard! On the other side of the field, Rainbow Dash and Applejack watched the scene with their jaws on the ground. Never in a million years would they have expected this of Rarity. Rarity of all ponies! "You gotta be kiddin' me!" Dash gaped. "Land sakes!" Applejack said in an awed tone. Rainbow Dash snapped herself out of her stupor; she had to get down there and help! There was still time! She zipped past Applejack, who cursed herself for missing the block. "Go, Rarity, Go!" Applejack cheered, knowing it was all she could do now. Fluttershy, who had been watching with the same level of amazement as the others, saw Rainbow Dash speeding towards the scene, and an instinct to try and hold off her fellow pegasus came to her. She took off at full speed to meet Rainbow Dash, and was almost able to get in front of her. But Dash proved to be too fast, and Fluttershy ended up getting a face full of her prismatic tail as she tumbled to the ground. She wasn't hurt physically, but the disappointment at failing once again caused her to sigh sadly and hang her head in shame. That was worse than any cut or bruise. Rarity was less than five yards from evening the score when Dash threw herself on the last part of the unicorn's hind-side that wasn't covered by Twilight and Pinkie. Rarity came to a complete stop... but once again didn't go down. fifteen seconds passed, and Rarity remained standing firm, but completely motionless. All Applejack and Fluttershy could do now was watch. They feared any attempt they made to help Rarity get in would cause too much weight for her and would finally bring her down. Rainbow Dash, Twilight and Pinkie Pie were holding on for dear life. Their eyes were squeezed tightly shut with the effort they were putting into stopping her. They could feel her hind legs shaking violently with the effort of staying up. On the sideline, Spike watched in amazement at what his lovely Rarity was doing. Part of him knew he should've called the play dead a while ago, but he so desperately wanted this play end on it's own instead of just abruptly and anticlimactically ending it. It felt like it had been an hour when the three defensive mares felt themselves being dragged again, slowly but surely, and Rainbow Dash just about lost her mind. "GO! DOWN! ALREADY!" she cried, attempting to yank Rarity down at the end of each word. "NEFERRRRRRRR!" Rarity roared dramatically, her words muffled by the Hoofball. The unicorn then stretched out her neck as far as it would go and let herself fall forward... The ball had clearly crossed the invisible plane. Spike once again raised his hands over his head, this time they were trembling with excitement. "T-Touchdown!" "YEEEEEEEEHAAAAWWWW!" Applejack cheered. She pulled her hat off and slapped it on the knees of her hindlegs. "Woohoo!" Fluttershy actually sounded a bit louder than usual that time. Her despair from a moment ago had definitely faded now. Rarity pulled herself out of the grasps of her friends/current rivals, spat the ball onto the ground, placed her hoof over it and held her head up high and proud. "I claim this end zone in the name of Fashion!" she announced in a thunderous voice. Though she couldn't be entirely sure, she could've sworn she heard an heavenly chorus sounding off in the distance. Applejack and Fluttershy joined her in the end zone and the three mares jumped for joy and celebrated. "How do ya like them apples!" Applejack whooped. "One play, one play and we're right back in this!" She turned to Rarity. "Honestly, Rare, what else ain't ya been tellin' us about yerself? I've spent most of my life buckin' apple trees and haulin' heavy carts around, and even I probably couldn't have pulled off what you just did!" "Well, as I mentioned earlier, I believe my morning aerobics have played a key roll in keeping me in peak physical condition," Rarity explained, her voice returning to it's usual elegance despite the fact she was now covered in sweat. "I may be a lady, but that doesn't mean I would pass up a good opportunity to stay in shape." "Huh..." was all Applejack could say in response. A now smiling Fluttershy stepped up next and gave Rarity a gentle nuzzle. "You were amazing, Rarity!" she praised her friend. Her smile faltered a bit as she pulled back. "I'm... sorry I couldn't have been more helpful." Applejack gave the pegasus a gentle nudge with her hoof. "Ya had the right idea though, sugarcube; goin' after Dash like that... I think yer startin' ta get the hang o' this! Keep it up, and I'll bet my farm that by the end of the day you'll be playin' just as well as Pinkie Pie and Rarity!" Fluttershy smiled appreciatively at that. "I hope so..." "Well then," Rarity said. "Let us continue with the game, shall we? I daresay I think I'm starting to enjoy myself!" "Heh heh, I knew you'd start to feel that 'fore long," Applejack chuckled. "Maybe what Rainbow Dash did ta ya weren't so bad after all, huh? If it got ya ta try somethin' new that ya ended up likin'..." "Mmhmm," was Rarity's only response. Her somewhat dry expression made it hard to tell is she really agreed with that statement, or was being sarcastic. The three mares trotted off to get into their defensive positions again. Applejack stopped briefly to look down at Team Rainbow Dash, who were still laying sprawled out at the edge of the end zone, the disbelief at what had just happened still apparent in their eyes. "Ya'll ain't gettin' tired already, are ya?" Applejack teased with a nasty grin. "'Cause we're jus' gettin' started! Hoo hoo!" She galloped off after the others. The three just laid there in silence for a few seconds more before Dash finally spoke. "One play. We gave up a touchdown in just one play... THAT DOES NOT HAPPEN! NOT TO ME!" Dash pounded the ground in fury. "Rainbow Dash," Twilight attempted to calm her friend down. "It... It was all my fault; I lost track of Rarity too easily. I was... distracted by something really stupid. I should've paid more attention to her." Rainbow Dash sighed, took a moment to calm herself, then shook her head. "Nah, Twi, it was my fault; I knew Applejack had underthrown that pass, and all I had to do was step out of the way and let it fall incomplete. But I just had to get a wild hair up my flank and try to bat it back in her face. I just really wanted to knock her down a peg, but instead I gave the ball the extra boost it needed to get to Rarity." "Oh, so that was why the ball moved that way..." Twilight said thoughtfully. "And on top of that, I should've been faster at helping you guys bring her down," Dash continued. "You guys did an awesome job trying to stop her. This screw up's on me, and me alone." "Aw, Dashie," Pinkie gave her friend a kind nuzzle. "We're a team! We're all in this together! We share the pride and we share the shame! Kind of like what Twilight said a while ago! Stop being so hard on yourself, you mopey-dopey." "She's right, Dash; it was all our blunder, not just yours," Twilight said soothingly. Finally, Rainbow Dash decided to smile and accept it. "Ah, I guess if that's what you guy's wanna believe..." Another brief moment of silence passed, then Rainbow Dash sighed and shook her head again. "Jeez, freakin' Rarity, man!" "I told you she was no pushover," Twilight chided. "Well yeah, I always knew she could take care of herself, but... that was just... Dang! Am I the only one who's starting to think that her boutique is just a front or something, and she's got like Dojo in there, or some kind of training facility? I mean, we were all holding onto her, right? Those rear legs of hers were hard as rocks! You all noticed that, didn't you?" All Rainbow Dash received were a couple of awkward looks, and she facehoofed. "Hey, don't go getting the wrong idea! I didn't mean it like that! I'm just pointing out that whatever she's doing is working for her because she's in incredibly good shape! There's nothing wrong with admiring how physically fit another pony is, especially if she's a friend." "Oh, of course, Dash! It's perfectly fine to feel that way about another and still keep a relationship strictly platonic," Twilight said, though her tone made it hard to tell if she was serious or joking. Dash decided it would be best to change the subject before the situation could get any weirder. "Seriously though, if this were a professional game, she'd probably win the Player of the Game Award for that one play alone! I'm not even kidding around right now, that girl is scaring me!" "Well then," Pinkie said as she jumped to her hooves. "We just need to find a way to keep her from doing that again!" "Exactly!" Twilight agreed, getting up as well. "There's always a solution to any problem! We just have to experiment around a bit until we find the proper one." Dash smiled as she got up. "Well, here's a good new strategy right off the bat: Don't let Rarity catch the ball... period." "Hey, that just might work!" Pinkie said optimistically as she bounded off. Dash smiled and shook her head once again. Never a dull moment with Pinkie Pie... "Come on, Dash! We're on offense again," Twilight said encouragingly. "We beat their defense before, we can do it again! And this time we can do it better, because this time I'm gonna do better! I know you think I'm an egghead, but I'm going to prove to you and everypony out there that eggheads can kick just as much flank at this game as anypony else! Excelsior!" She charged after Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash watched her go, smiling even wider now. She was unable to stifle some chuckles as she followed them. Dash didn't think she'd ever heard something so dorky, and yet so badass at the same time.