Two Weeks

by NotARealPonydotcom

The Forest Again

It's dark in the forest. Nearly pitch black, in fact, thanks to the heavy canopy of branches above my head. The light that guides me along my path comes only from the stone in my hand, which feels like it weighs a ton. I reach the spot where the road splits, and I find that the trees have parted far enough apart to allow some moonlight to shine down on the sign that sits at the fork in the road. It's pointing in the direction from which I came, back towards Dragonsville. I ignore it and take a left, glancing up at the sky before it vanishes behind the canopy again. There's a full moon out tonight. It's very pretty.

I stop after another few minutes of trudging; I'm at the edge of the forest again. To my right is the fence behind which cows graze. It being nighttime, there aren't that many out there now, but I still see a few chewing grass near the far edge of the fence.

"Midnight snack, huh?" I yell to them, in a tone bitter like the taste in my mouth. The cows see who it is that's spoken, go into a frenzy, and stampede away, leaving me alone in the clearing. Just like before.

I look right. There's the area I woke up in. I can see the exact spot where I was; there's a little indentation where my body materialized, two weeks ago. The ground is black and dead around it, from some after-effect of the spell that I must not have noticed when I first got here. I trudge over to the spot, sit down in it, and wait for the Moonstone to glow.

Staring up at the moon, I try to think of something to cheer me up, but all that comes to mind at first is a bubbling brew of negative emotions. I guess that's better than nothing, though, so I take a closer look at them to pass the time. The first emotion to rear its ugly head at me is desire. Of course that's there. Why wouldn't I feel desire right now, when half a mile away there's a dragoness that loves me wishing that I would come running back into her arms? And I want to do that, too—I want her touch, her voice, her love. I want time, all the time in the world, to live happily with her and never be away from her. I desire all of this, and only from her.

The next feeling I get is self-hatred. I hurt her so much. I must have left too big of a scar on her. I hate to think of it this way, but I can't stop myself from considering that she might not want to trust anydragon ever again, thanks to me. Maybe I'm exaggerating, maybe I'm thinking too highly of myself, but I know there's no way she'll just forget about all of this. Especially not now, now that she knows who I am. If only I had chosen to go into the mountains, maybe I could have gotten lost, lived off the land for two weeks, and gone back to my world believing that I'd had a long, vivid dream about becoming a hermit! I wish I had done that, instead of finding Dragonsville, making friends with dragon-Twilight and dragon-Pinkie, meeting and falling in love with dragon-Rarity and tearing her heart to pieces. I wish I'd never met her.

...No. No, I don't wish that.

I think about the life I'm returning to, and anger swirls in my stomach, making it ache. I spent years and years trying to fit in with ponies, trying to act older than I really was, trying to go along with my sister and her friends on their adventures, only to be left alone in the library more times than I can remember. All those years I spent, trying to break down the wall that separated me from the ponies that were all around me, and when I finally manage to punch my fist through to the other side, it's forced away by the same ponies I'd broken through to get to. The breaking point was the fashion show, where Rarity had put my name on display and given me credit for my assistance, only for me to be passed off as her servant, her pet, even! How exotic, a dragon! Can it sew for you? Does it really accept food as payment? Is it housebroken? And I could have taken it all, grinned and bore it, if I'd been able to believe that she loved me back. But I wasn't; I let one small slip-up eat away at me, and because of it I ruined everything for her and myself.

And then comes sorrow. Of course there's sorrow. Sorrow for hurting, and sorrow for being hurt.

All of these feelings, all of my anger and sorrow and self-hatred and desire, are bring me back to her. I did not have her, so here is my desire and anger to mock me. I yelled at her and hurt her; here is self-hatred and sorrow, to always remind me of that moment. All for her.

Then, through this fog of negative energy, I feel something better, a surge of welcome feelings that have been long overdue since I came to this other world. The first of them is reassurance. Through all of the difficulties in life I've had to deal with, I've always had my friends standing behind me; I think I always will, even if I don't always believe it. They accept me for me, and that's enough. It's more than enough, in fact. I couldn't ask for a better family.

Then there is acceptance. There are five words that I've been dodging and hiding from for a long time, and now I think I can say them without regret: I am not a pony. Since I was sentient enough to notice that I had scales instead of fur and claws instead of hooves, I've been trying to convince myself that I was just like everypony else. When I came to Ponyville with Twilight and met the others, I tried twice as hard, and when everypony in town had stopped giving me those odd little glances I associated with judgment I convinced myself I'd finally done it. After the Fire Ruby happened, I wanted to be a pony more than anything in the world, and I believed, for longer than I want to admit, that I could find some spell or potion that would do it for me. Not anymore. I am a dragon, and I will never be a pony. I will never enjoy the taste of flowers. I will never know the joy of having a cute-ceañera. And I don't care. I am what I am, and I'm certain that I wouldn't have had the life I've had if I wasn't. I love my life in Ponyville, and I know that I'm loved regardless of what species I am, by Twilight and Pinkie and Applejack and everypony else, so forget making myself a pony. I'm a dragon, and a Celestia-damned handsome one, at that. No more looking for spells. No more forcing down daisy quesadillas. No more.

And with that, I come to hope. Yes, really, hope, and for a number of things. Mostly for the future, my future especially. I hope to make amends somehow for the things I've done, for the pain I've caused, for the damage I've brought upon the castle that's probably going to take a nice bite out of the royal treasury to repair. I hope that I never lose control again, especially not for a reason as silly as some rude party guests. I hope that Rarity can forgive me for what I did to her that evening, and that there's still a chance, just a shred of a chance left that I can be with her. I hope that she really does loves me, still loves me even after all that I've done, and that I can hold her in my arms someday the way I held the Rarity in Dragonsville. I hope that that Rarity moves on and lives a long and happy life. I hope that Spike comes to comfort her, and that he sweeps her off her feet just as well as I did—and let's not forget that I am him, and they both know it, so may or may not help things along. I also hope that it doesn't hurt to have your soul transported out of one body and into another one. That would probably make me a lot more hesitant to go through with this.

The Moonstone starts blinking, snapping me back to reality. Time is moving again in Equestria, and it's ready for me to come back. I can already picture aftermath of the disastrous fashion show in my head: there's Applejack, kicking at pieces of the castle I tore up; there's Pinkie Pie, staring into the ground and worrying about Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy; there's Twilight, frantically trying to get to me. I hope it'll be easier for her to do that, now that my fires have all gone out. But this is all just my imagination; the speculations of a hopeless romantic. I stare down at the Moonstone in my hand, and again the idea of throwing it into the woods and running back to Dragonsville itches in the back of my head. Then I imagine Twilight's face when she sees the little body curled up just outside the main banquet room. And Pinkie Pie's. And Applejack's.

And Rarity's.

I take a minute to dream all of these sad, little dreams. Then I look down at the Moonstone glowing in my hand. My choice is made: I can't leave them to suffer, just because of one dragoness. Or maybe I could, but won't. I don't know; I'm young and reckless. But I do know that I have a sister and friends waiting for me, and probably a lot more besides. So I sit up on my knees, dig a small hole like Luna instructed, and bury the Moonstone in the ground. Then I wait.

A silent moment passes, then two, then three. Then the pile where I buried the stone shakes, as does the earth around it and me. I wonder if this is all in my head or if they're feeling it in Dragonsville. I wonder if Rarity can feel it and knows what it means.

From under the earth comes a silvery fluid like liquid mirror. It fills the indent in the ground until it creates a pool wide and deep, in the shape of a curled-up dragon. The liquid lies still, waiting for something to tell it where to go. So I give it just that.

The paper with the warning that I ignored so stupidly a fortnight ago appears in a swirl of green fire. Rolling it into a miniature scroll, I toss it into the pool. It begins to sizzle the moment it touches the liquid. I give the words "Two Weeks" a farewell glance, and then the mirror liquid consumes them forever. Through the ripples that spread across the puddle's surface, I see images form. They make me smile, even though they're terribly sad.

It's the girls. All six of them. Judging from how the image is angled, I'm looking through the eyes of the me that was left in that world two weeks ago. For them, it's only been a few minutes, and quite an eventful few minutes, too. They've found me (so I did take too long reminiscing) and are standing over me, trying to wake me up. Applejack and Rainbow Dash are looking in every direction except mine. Pinkie Pie is comforting Fluttershy, who is bawling into her pink friend's shoulder and hugging her tightly. Twilight looks as though she's been slapped in the face, staring down at me with misty, panicked eyes. She starts shaking me, mouthing words I can't hear (sound, it seems, does not carry across universes as easily), but her efforts are thwarted by Rarity, who shoves her out of the way and starts beating my chest with her hoof.

She's in a panic, much like Twilight is, but unlike Twilight, Rarity looks far less capable of keeping it together. Tears and sweat have matted her fur and ruined her makeup. Ash, bits of debris, and what looks to be some kind of wine decorate her dress, which is torn in several spots. Her mane is a mess of chaotic knots, and is even singed in some parts (no doubt thanks to me). She looks me dead in the eye, searching for a sign of life. When she finds none, she yells at me and starts beating my chest harder. Each strike makes a ripple in the pool. I watch her for a minute, and I can't help but smile because... because she still cares that much. After the mess I put her through, after the shouts and the accusations and the insults, she still cares that much.

A lavender hoof draws her away from me, and Twilight appears in the image, saying something to Rarity that she doesn't seem to like hearing. She looks down at me and leans in, so close that her mane fills the pool, turning it vibrant purple. The puddle swishes from side-to-side, and I swear for a second that I hear her voice, a whisper in a wind that isn't really there. She draws her head back, sets her forehead against mine, and I can see she's saying something again. And as I watch her murmur silently to me, with her singed mane and makeup-stained face, I can't help but speak to her, even though I know she can't hear me:

"Don't you worry, Rarity. I'm on my way."

Something shimmers in my eyes and drips into the silver liquid, disrupting the pool's surface with the ripples in creates. From the world on the other side, Rarity is suddenly yanked away, replaced by the awestruck face of my sister. She's speaking, very rapidly, and after a few rushed sentences Rarity shoves her out of the way and holds what I guess is my head in her hooves. She sees whatever it is that got Twilight so riled up, and hope flashes in her eyes. She mouths my name, and suddenly five more faces are crowded around her, each of them with a questioning look in their eyes that I hope to answer in a moment.

I take one last look at the forest around me. Then I focus once more on the spot right in front of me, scooting closer to get a better look. Back in the silver pool, Rarity is shaking my head again. Her mascara has started running again, too, and she repeats my name before Twilight shoves her out of the way. Actually, all five of the others shove her out of the way to get a look at me, all of them wearing the same look of hopeful anticipation. I imagine what could happen in the next few seconds: there's cheers of joy, tears of joy, hugs and nervous, relieved laughter. That's all in my head, though—in reality, anything could happen. I can only hope things will go my way. Looking up at the moon one last time, I bid farewell to Dragonsville and the land of Serpentia, take a deep breath, and hold it, not knowing if it'll take a while to cross universes or not. I dig my claws into the earth around the puddle and lean forward. Shutting my eyes and giving a silent prayer that I'll be okay, I dunk my head into the silver liquid.

And then I wake up.

January 2, 2013–July 2, 2014