Beauty Is Where You Find It

by Verdigris

Adjustments And Other Pains

When he opened the ticket office window, First Class was startled to see somepony waiting for him. Usually, there were a few good hours until ponies started to queue-up. He looked at his first customer of the day curiously, then recognized him. “What’s got you out of bed at this un-Celestial hour, Verdigris?” he asked.

Verdigris couldn’t help smiling. “Ah, goodbyes are a pain, First. One ticket to Oceanside, please.”

The Earth pony sighed. “The trains don’t start running for an hour-and-a-half, lad. You’d do better to fly to Ponyville. You’d be able to wait comfortably. There isn’t much open this time of day, here.” He watched as the Alicorn thought about it. Sheesh, I haven’t even had my coffee, colt.

Verdigris thought it over, and realized there wasn’t any reason to wait. He’d thought the trains would be running, but didn’t know the first thing about them. Something I should learn about, he thought. “Okay. I’ll do that. What time does the first train going south arrive there?”

First checked the schedule. “Due to arrive at eight-thirty,” he said after stifling a yawn. “You Coast ponies really get up early, don’t you?”

“Yeah, some do. Sorry about that. Here, I think this is how you like it. I got it from the palace kitchen, once I remembered I needed breakfast.” He passed over a thermos bottle.

First opened it and sniffed. “Wow, is this what I think it is?” Verdigris nodded. “Well, thanks. Sorry about being so gruff.”

“It’s okay. Enjoy.” Verdigris looked around, launched into the early, early morning sky, and made his way to Ponyville.

First Class poured the coffee and sipped it, enjoying the brew. When they had time to do it properly, ponies making coffee could work miracles. He knew the palace cooks had the time, and took pride in doing it right. This is going to be a good morning. I can live with that.

Twilight woke to the sound of somepony knocking. She looked at the window, then the clock when she saw it was still dark – well, the sky was lightening in the east, but it was still early. Who on Equis is up at this time, besides Princess Celestia? Or Princess Luna?

She crawled to the window and looked out to see Verdigris standing at the door. “What’s he doing here?” she asked, then opened the window and called down, “What’s going on? Did something go wrong?”

Verdigris smiled as he looked up; Twi had a bad case of bed-mane. “No, I wanted to get back home as soon as possible, but I didn’t know the trains weren’t running this early. So I decided to see if you wanted breakfast. Guess I’m way too early, huh?”

Twilight resisted the urge to face-hoof. “I was up late reading. Besides, nothing’s open.”

“Nothing? So why’s Sugarcube Corner lit up?”

Twilight face-hoofed. “It has to be Pinkie Pie. She seems to have a sense about that kind of thing.” She sighed. “Well, I can’t get back to sleep, so I’ll be down in a few minutes. Spike’s still sleeping, so I can’t stay away too long.”

“Okay. I’ll be here.”

Twilight pulled her head inside and closed the window, then got up and went to the bathroom. She combed her mane and brushed her teeth, and quickly wrote a note for Spike, telling him where she was likely to be, and listing his chores before walking downstairs and opening the door. She stifled a yawn. “Good morning, Verdi. I can’t stay long, because of Spike. He’s got chores to do.”

“What? Oh, come on, Twi.” Verdigris brushed past her and lit the room with his horn. He nodded, then concentrated, floating the pile of books into their proper places, followed by clearing up last night’s dishes. “There. You and Spike deserve a break every now and then, and you shouldn’t rush breakfast.”

“What – how – but you – ” she spluttered.

“I can read the titles from here, and books are filed the same way,” he replied. “Come on. My treat for an old friend.”

“But I can’t – ” she began until he stuck a hoof over her mouth.

“Twi, don’t argue with me. You’re not going to work yourself into a frazzle while I’m here, and that’s final,” Verdigris said seriously. “Equis isn’t going to fall apart if you take a break; Celestia was doing fine before we were born, and Luna’s helping her, now. You can spare a half-hour, even if you ask questions like I know you will,” he finished with a smile.

Sparkle sighed, then smiled. “Okay, you’re right, but don’t expect me to change.”

“Celestia doesn’t, so why should I? Come on.” Verdigris waited until she closed the door after retrieving and editing her note. “You’ll have to lead the way. I was just passing through, like last time.”

“Okay, this way.” Twilight set off at a trot; Verdigris matched her speed easily. “How’d you get here if the trains weren’t running?”

Verdigris laid a wing on her back and said, “Hello, Alicorn. How do you think?” Twilight blushed, and he continued, “Yeah, I know. Everypony’s going to have to get used to the idea there are more Alicorns than just the Princesses. I’m not going to advertise it, but I’m not going to hide.” He folded his wing again, then asked, “How are you and Omnius adjusting to Ponyville?”

“He’s at Applejack’s until he can build a house, and I’m doing all right. I have to get used to the new faces, but that’s not too hard after meeting the Apple family. Talk about an eye-opener. I still don’t have all the names straight,” Twilight answered with a wry grin.

Verdigris chuckled. “Yeah, I can see that. Don’t worry. I’ll bet it won’t be too long until you feel like you’ve been here forever. Like I said, I felt right at home here,” he said as they approached the building that to him looked like a bakery had gone mad for a day. “Wow, I can see why Pinkie’s here. Looks like her kind of place.”

Twilight giggled softly. “She’s a natural, that’s for sure.” She stopped and knocked, and the door opened to reveal Pinkie Pie, who smiled so brightly they had to squint.

Verdigris briefly wondered how she did that, then just went with it and said, “Ow, my eyes; turn it down.”

“Ooh, goody, you’re here. Come on in, I was expecting you, sorry I couldn’t set up a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party, ‘cause it was short notice and you’re not here yet, but I did what I could, hurry and sit down before it gets cold,” Pinkie said as she dragged them to a table, sat them down and disappeared.

Verdigris stared at the dissipating Pinkie-shaped smoke cloud beside the table before turning to Twilight. “Did she even take a breath?” he asked.

“I’ve been afraid to ask,” Twilight admitted.

Pinkie popped up from nowhere and placed two loaded plates in front of them. “Here ya go. What do you want to drink? I know you like tea, but we don’t have any, so how about coffee?” She was about to go on, but Verdigris stopped her with a hoof over the mouth.

“All right, slow down so we can keep up. Coffee’s fine, but let us finish it our way, ‘kay?” Pinkie nodded, not at all discomfited. “All right. Pull up a chair and sit with us. I don’t think anypony else is coming this early.”

“Okie-dokie-Loki.” Pinkie seemed to blink away and returned with a full pot, then sat down and pulled a cake out of her mane. When they stared, she giggled. “It’s okay. You’ll get used to me.” She took a bite and let them start before continuing, “And Derpy’s in here pretty early. She’s got Ponyville’s mail to run.”

Verdigris smiled. “I haven’t seen her for six years. How is she?”

For the first time they’d ever seen, Pinkie looked sad, but brightened up after a moment. “She’s okay. It’s not easy, being a single mom, but she takes real good care of Dinky, and still does her job. Maybe not the best, but she doesn’t know the meaning of ‘give up’,” she finished, her smile back at full power. “She’s a real good pony, Verdi. Can I call ya that?”

“Twilight does, and so does my sister. I think I can stand it.”

Pinkie squeaked happily and gave him a big hug. “Thanks. It’s good to have friends who can do that.”

“Pinkie … can’t … breathe,” Verdigris managed to gasp out after a struggle. When Pinkie let go, he looked at her incredulously while catching his breath. She seemed to be made of marshmallow, but that hug; he was sure his ribs were bruised. “Uh, wow. How did you do that?”

“I dunno, I just can. Did I surprise ya? Huh-huh-huh? Did I?”

“Oh, I think you did,” Twilight said with a grin.

“So, ya heading home? Is it a nice place?”

“Yeah, and somepony else might think so.” He gave them a brief overview of Oceanside. “I don’t think you’d like it. They’re all a bunch of sticks-in-the-mud, and that’s being nice.”

Pinkie’s eyes had grown big and round during the story. “Is that true?” she asked in a very small voice that made Verdigris instantly suspicious. “Just ‘cause ya look different?”

“I’ll admit it’s just my viewpoint, and I might be prejudiced, but you could ask Honey Bunch, Sea Grass, Blackrock or Marl about it. They can tell you more. After a while I stopped trying.” He gave the wall a pained look, then added, “Princess Luna went through the same thing, for about the same reason. She was too different for everypony to understand. Most ponies are afraid of the night, and she was the Night Princess.”

“And that’s what made her into the Nightmare?” Twilight asked, her expression one of confusion, her lack of sleep forgotten. The coffee and treats helped, of course.

“Part of it. She’d better tell you; I can’t do it justice.”

Twilight looked at him for a few moments, and he had the distinct feeling she was adding a few things up. He cringed internally when she said, “You like her, don’t you?”

“Curse you, and your quick intellect, Twilight!” Verdigris replied with overdone melodrama, which included shaking a hoof at her. While Twilight looked at him as though he’d gone crazy, Pinkie covered her mouth and giggled. He smiled, and she giggled sheepishly.

“Yeah. We understand each other, better than most ponies. Even Princess Celestia admitted she doesn’t really understand Luna. Chasing around the Everfree at night, listening to the wolves howl – and sometimes joining in – dancing among the fireflies. Nopony really understands that, except me. I’d sit and watch the stars for hours, wondering what’s out there, or looking at the ocean while the moon and star light danced on its surface, or just watching the lights of ships go by – wondering where they were going – and that was before I got to know Honey and Grass. It was peaceful, quiet, and distinctly lacked the ponies who’d avoid or harass me.” He paused and glared at his plate, and blinked when he saw a cupcake there. Pinkie looked completely and comically innocent when he looked at her. He shook his head and continued, “Anyway, my point is we know what being the outsider in your own home is like. Trust me, Omnius has it easier being from somewhere else, Twi. He’s used to it. Who would expect a home-town isolation?”

Oh, you did not just say that, lad, Michael’s voice said in his head as Pinkie giggled. It’s good you don’t know why it bothers me; I’d have to punish you, otherwise.

You’re gonna have to explain it sometime, Uncle Mike, Verdigris replied silently. Does Pinkie know the joke?

Yes, the mad-cap, fourth-wall-breaking giggle-box most certainly does. She’s wonderful, once you get past the craziness.

Verdigris looked at Pinkie as she broke out into soft laughter, while Twilight gave her a worried look. Riiiight. I’ll keep that in mind. Sometime again. Contact faded and Verdigris shook his head. Was this a good idea, and what the buck’s the fourth wall? he thought. Pinkie stopped laughing, took another cake out of nowhere and started eating it while giving Verdigris a knowing look.

“So, when are you starting at the Academy?” Twilight asked, changing the subject.

“I’ll start next year. I’ve got a few things to wrap up in Oceanside, first. Patrol and business-related stuff. Nothing too big to handle, but it’ll take time.”

“Oh, okay. Then you’re moving here?” Pinkie squeaked happily.

“Yep, after I finish training. Like I said, Canterlot’s too big.” He looked at Pinkie, adding, “And if you throw the party I know you want to, just kinda keep it small. I don’t go for big celebrations.”

“Okay. I’ll just invite all of Ponyville, instead of everypony.” Verdigris face-hoofed. “Oh, don’t be that way. Everypony likes a party, and you can meet everypony. They’re all great,” Pinkie finished.

“She’s right about that,” Twilight said. “The ponies here are great, if a little odd, sometimes.” She paused and shrugged. “You’ll like them.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Verdigris glanced at the clock. “Still a while to go, but I can’t sit in one place too long. I guess we can go somewhere and talk, so you can ask your questions.” He turned to Pinkie. “That was a great breakfast, Pinkie. How much?” he asked, reaching for his bit pouch.

“It’s free. You’re my friends.” Verdigris just looked at her, and she added, “No, really.” He kept staring, and her smile slipped. “I mean it,” she said in a determined voice. The stare never wavered, and she said, “Okay, okay. Twist my foreleg, why don’cha?” she said holding out a hoof. “Go ahead.”

Verdigris smiled, grasped her hoof and twisted it very slightly. Pinkie over-reacted as he thought she would, throwing herself onto the table and groaning in simulated agony. “Okay, okay, I give! Five bits, no more!” she gasped as Twilight rolled her eyes and shook her head.

Verdigris chuckled as he hoofed over the money. He stood up, walked to her side of the table and gave her a hug and nuzzle. “Pinkie, never change,” he said with a smile.

Pinkie returned the hug. “Okie-dokie-Loki.”

Twilight and Verdigris walked back to the Library in companionable silence, enjoying each other’s company. It’s even better now that he isn’t injured, Twilight thought as the sun’s rays strengthened, and the moon sank below the horizon. “So, ready for a few questions?”

“Just a few?” he asked in mock disbelief.

She smiled. “The trains start running here about eight-thirty, and you wanted to get home as soon as possible, or you wouldn’t have woke me up,” she said in lecture mode.

“Okay, but let’s relax, like we did in the palace.” They reached the Library, and after Twi checked on Spike, they retreated to the kitchen. After Twilight made some tea, they relaxed on the window seat. “So, what do you want to know?”

“I heard about your dad and cousin.” She cringed when he flinched. “Shining mentioned something about you ‘taking care of business’, as he put it. What happened?” Verdigris told her the story, but from that morning, so she’d know why he’d snapped. Twilight’s eyes widened in shock as he described the events, and the almost toneless voice he used didn’t help. It was obvious he wasn’t proud of himself.

When he finished, she leaned forward and hugged him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No, it’s okay. I still don’t know why. None of the Rus would say anything, not even Bronyiev. There was more to it than just getting in their way, but they stayed shut,” Verdigris replied. “I’m just glad it’s over. Well, I hope it’s over. I don’t have any proof that it is.”

“You can’t let it get to you, Verdi. Besides, they’re safe in Canterlot. Nopony would dare try anything, not while Shining is on the job,” she said with sisterly pride.

“You’ve been taking lessons from Dash,” he said, and they shared a quiet laugh. “It actually feels good to talk about it.”

“Good. What about the weather control? Alicorns can do it, but you seem to do better than anypony I’ve heard of.”

“Ah, that goes back a while ago.” He told her about the Dream Realm encounter with Nightmare, and what she’d done. “I didn’t know what she’d done until after Stalliongrad, and I didn’t know why until after she was cleansed. There was something about me that reminded her of Blackwolf, and she was in love with him, back then. He had to leave, and that was another part of her fall.” He sighed. “She wanted love – and tried to force it out of me – and all she got was fear, or somepony had to leave. All because she was misunderstood.” He shook his head. “That’s not quite right, either. Like I said, you’ll have to ask her.”

“Wow. I used to think I had problems,” Twilight said as the sun peeked in.

Verdigris nodded, then looked out at the sun. “Good morning,” he said quietly.

Good morning, Verdigris. Good morning, Twilight. How are two of my favorite ponies? Celestia’s voice asked in their minds.

“Talked dry,” Verdigris said as he sipped some tea.

“Tired,” Twilight said. “But not too tired.”

Good. I want you to start taking naps at noon, if you’re up too late, Twilight. You need your sleep, too.

“I’ll try, Princess.”

Good. Take care. The sun seemed to brighten for a moment as it continued to rise.

“I didn’t know she could do that,” Twilight said after some thought.

“What, talk to us, or notice us?”

“Both.”

“She’s aware of everything under the sun. I grew up knowing it, or that’s how it seemed,” Verdigris said as he looked at the clock. “Wow, where did the time go? It’s almost eight.”

“Oh, darn, I didn’t get to ask about your family, or what Princess Celestia did for you. That’s probably going to take too long.”

“More than likely. Don’t worry, I’ll visit, and while I won’t be that far away at the Academy, I don’t know when I’ll have free time,” he replied as he retrieved his saddlebags. Twilight saw him to the door, and he gave her a hug before stepping out. “I’m gonna miss you, but I’ll be fine. It won’t be forever.”

Twilight smiled as she enjoyed his Presence up close. Almost like Celestia’s, she thought. “I’ll see you when I see you, then. Like you prefer saying, sometime again, Verdi.”

“Sometime again, Twi.” He smiled, then trotted off to the train station.

Twilight watched him go and sighed. “Well, time to get Spike up, and head to Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack should be already up and working. I don’t see how she does it,” she said after stifling a yawn.

Verdigris woke with a start. Something seemed off, but the train clickety-clacked! along as it usually did. Uhn, what woke me? he wondered as he yawned.

‘Twas I, Luna said in his mind. I wished to tell thee ‘good day’, as I am retiring. The days cannot pass swiftly enough, Verdigris. I miss thee already.

I’ll be back before we both know it; it just seems to happen, he replied as he stood and walked off a little stiffness from his position.

Not injured. While I can bear pain – mine and others’ – I do not like it, Verdigris. Especially after I caused yours, she countered. There is time enough for pain, but seemingly none for aught else. E’en love, she finished; shyly, he thought.

I’ll visit when I can. I promise, as a Hawk. Anything worth-while or lasting requires preparation.

He felt her smile. Aye, ‘tis true. I will see thee when next we meet. Until then.

Contact faded, and Verdigris looked out at the passing scenery. Okay, I guess there’s more than friendship, at least on her end. That’s going to take some getting used to, like everything else, he thought as the town limit sign passed. Oh, joy. Home, sweet home. I’m glad everypony I’d miss is gone. Leaving’s going to be hard enough without that.

I sense a little hypocrisy, Verdigris, Celestia broke in.

So sue me for having varying moods. Some days I’m fine; others, I want to make this town vanish, and everypony forget it ever existed, he replied. Like it or not, Oceanside’s still home, and I won’t let anypony talk it down without knowing anything about it. That doesn’t mean I’ll let the town’s boosters tell lies. Not a chance.

Celestia didn’t reply for a few seconds. All right. I’m sorry. I should have trusted you more, and I tend to overlook some behavior when it’s only temporary. My point is, you seem to hate Oceanside more than it deserves.

I still can’t let go of what the “old guard” put me through, just for being different. It wasn’t fair, and, damn it, I’m jealous. Nopony else will have to put up with that nonsense; once my generation’s gone, nopony else will remember it. I hope so, anyway, but still.

He felt her nod. All right, but don’t let the resentment turn you into what you despise. I don’t want to end up regretting what I did. I was saving an innocent, not a potential threat to Equestria. I’d prefer not to send you to the moon, and I’m sure you don’t want to go.

He blinked in surprise. You’d do that? There was no reply, which told him all he needed to know. He took a breath as the train stopped. I’ll try. I don’t know what’s doing this, but I’ll work on stopping it. Fair enough?

Yes. I never meant for any of this to happen, and I honestly don’t know if I could have stopped it without making things worse. You’re better than that, and you know it, my son.

Verdigris felt a wave of calm pass over him, and he nodded. I think I know what it is. I’ll let you know. He felt her smile, and contact faded. I know exactly what I need to do, he thought as the train came to a halt.

Birchbark looked up when the door opened, and he watched as Verdigris passed by with an expression that was combined determination and distraction. What’s up with him? he wondered. Instead of waiting for him to come down, Birch followed, knocking at Verdigris’ door. It was Patrol policy not to interfere with ponies’ lives, but Birch was going as a friend, not a superior officer. The door opened, and Verdigris looked out.

Birch removed his helmet, revealing a deep yellow coat and a bright red mane. “Mind if I come in?”

Verdigris looked at him, recognized he was “temporarily off duty” and nodded. “Sure,” he replied as he stepped back.

Birchbark walked in and sat on the couch, and Verdigris joined him after grabbing two ciders. “Kinda early for this, isn’t it?”

“It’s just cider. I don’t hit the hard stuff unless I’ve got a problem.” Verdigris took a drink, then asked, “What’s wrong with me, right?” Birch nodded. “It’s complicated. I hope somepony told you what happened.”

“Yeah, we got a letter from the Princess – Princess Celestia. What were you thinking?”

“Thinking? What’s that?” Birch’s expression of stunned surprise was priceless. “I waited for her because she was going to come after me. I also took her on – well, provoked her, really – because the Element Bearers needed time. So I bought them some.”

“Couldn’t you have run?”

“To where and how far? Nightmare Moon was still Princess Luna, Birch. Running away wouldn’t have changed anything, and if she hadn’t been defeated, I’m sure she’d have gone after Oceanside to punish me.” Birchbark started, his face disbelieving. “She really laid into me. I’ve never been hurt that bad, not since the strike, and she knew how. I never saw half the hits I took.”

Birchbark flinched. “You look okay. Are you?”

“Physically. Mentally, well, let’s just say I’ve got some issues I need to deal with, and leave it there. Ah, to Tarterus with it. She beat me easily, and put the fear of her into me, Birch. I’m still getting over that, and it’s getting mixed up in the resentment I still have toward some ponies here. I’m having a hard time keeping it off my mind, and I’ve let it out at the wrong time already.” Verdigris took another drink and set the bottle aside. “I thought I was over it, but I’m not. I know what I’ve got to do, and that’s cut all ties to Oceanside.”

Birchbark sat there, his mouth hanging open. He knew Verdigris was having trouble, but not exactly what or why. “Are you sure?”

“I still think of Oceanside as home-sweet-heck, and as long as I do, I’ll keep dragging it all up. I’ve got to leave it behind, and I can’t unless I just leave, and let it go.” He looked at the coffee table. “It’s not as though I’ve got anything to keep me here. I’m going to the Academy, and I’m training my replacements. I’ll finish showing Sea Foam all the processing operations so he can take over. No more family, after Eaglefeather disappeared. All my friends who aren’t Patrol are gone, or live somewhere else.”

“About Eaglefeather,” Birch began, then found it hard to speak when Verdigris’ eyes locked on his. “She’s at the Aerie. I read the letter,” he said, taking it from under his wing. “She’s not good, but she’s recovering, if I understand the implications.” He passed the letter over, glad to be relieved of it.

Verdigris read, and nodded to himself. “I guess that was part of what’s bothering me, because I feel better. Thanks.”

“So, are you going to be okay?”

“I should. Am I on tonight, or is that covered?”

“You’re off until you see Thunderstorm. We need to document that you’re ready to return to duty, and it’s not an option.”

Verdigris nodded. “Okay. I’ve got some thinking to do, and something to do tonight.”

“And that is?”

Verdigris looked away, his eyes sad. “Say goodbye to dad and Sky. I never got to, and I forgot about it with everything else,” he said quietly.

The Captain nodded. “Yeah, I understand. Take whatever time you need, Verdigris. We want you back, but we want you at one hundred percent.” Birchbark stood and put his helmet back on. “And welcome back, for what it’s worth. Later.”

Verdigris nodded and stayed where he was as the Patrol Captain let himself out. “Thanks, Birch.”

Verdigris sat in his old, familiar place on the bluff, watching the surf as it crashed against the escarpment’s base; it was an unusually high tide tonight. He looked out to sea, watching as lights appeared and disappeared, giving tantalizing glimpses of ships passing. He thought about the past sixteen years, wondering when his life changed.

Was it with the infusion, or was it when Honey and Grass refused to give up on me? Was it when I refused to knuckle under? Was it when Uncle Mike showed up? Was it when I pasted Bluestreak, and which time? Or was it all of the above, altogether? Is there one defining moment? He sighed and shrugged. Does it really matter?

It is all and none, Verdigris, Luna said silently as the moon seemed to brighten. There may be one defining moment, but ‘tis difficult to determine, and is it only one event? Thy life has been a process of learning and discovery, has it not?

Verdigris nodded absently. She had a point. You’re right. It has, he replied.

What dost thou? Of more importance, how art thou?

I don’t know. Not completely. I think I needed closure; after reading about aunt Eaglefeather, I felt better. I don’t know if I can let go of dad, or if I want to. I miss him, Luna. I just didn’t know how much. If I say goodbye, what then?

Aye, ‘tis the question at such times. Mayhap thou canst not forgive and forget thy pains until the parting. I know why: They allowed it to happen, in thine eyes. Not all, but many who were in positions of authority, who shirked their responsibilities in favor of the status quo. Most especially Full Sail. Thy family was endangered by his foalish actions, and thy father and cousin killed. I was uncertain before, but now I am positive thy feelings of betrayal are a part of thine anger. These and more I felt, before the fall, and I would have thee let go, and be free. Thou art tied to the past until thou dost so, she told him firmly, with the conviction of somepony who’d been through it themselves. Would thy father permit thou to torment thyself over such? Or thy cousin? Would they not tell thee to go and live?

Verdigris felt a loosening in his chest, and bowed his head to cry silently, letting the tears fall onto the bluff’s edge. He didn’t move when soft feathers wrapped around him, but broke out in sobs. “Does it ever stop?”

“Not an thou cling to it like a shield. It protects not, and allows greater pain to assault thee. Pain tells thee when thou art hurt, but not the cause. Thou hast been hurt much, and thou art strong, as ‘Tia told thee, but e’en the strongest must bend or break; we – thou and I – tried to bear it alone and silently, and found ourselves wanting, much to our dismay and displeasure.” Luna sat beside him and looked out to sea as he leaned against her. “We must admit we lack the strength to carry such burdens alone, Verdigris, else the weight crush and destroy us, or drive us mad.”

Verdigris nodded as his sobs faded; the worst was over. “I – I know, but it’s hard.” He sighed. “I feel like a complete foal.”

“There but for Celestia goest thou, and e’en then there are stumbles and falls. Thou canst not surrender; thou must rise and continue. It took long years and the cleansing to understand. Thee and thine against the world, mayhap it seems, but resolute must thou be. Michael would agree,” Luna finished as she looked up at he stars.

After a few minutes, she stood and tugged at his mane. “Come. Thou hast procrastinated more than enough. Do what must be done.”

Verdigris got up and led the way to where his house once stood. He paused at the old fence line, then continued until he reached the monument Blackwolf had put up. The statues were very life-like in the moonlight; he had the irrational feeling they were watching him. They definitely appeared to have been stopped in time. He stopped a few feet away, looking at them, then spoke. “Dad, Sky, I’m sorry it took this long. I had a lot on my mind, and a lot going on. I just wanted to tell you I miss you both a lot and I … just wish we’d had more time together.” He paused, then said, “Goodbye.”

Luna stood beside him, staying silent. She could easily hear the pain in Verdigris’ voice, and his very real wish they’d had more time. But the world goes as it will, not as we would have it, she thought, unknowingly paraphrasing part of a story from another world. It seemed to her the statues were listening, and it might have been a trick of the moonlight – not of her doing – that made their eyes glimmer. She could feel the spirits of the ponies represented, and their acceptance and good wishes for Verdigris. She kept silent, knowing he could feel it.

Verdigris smiled and said, “Celestia willing, we’ll see each other again. So, sometime again.” He stood there for another minute, then sighed happily and turned away. He paused when Luna didn’t move. “Luna?”

“Go on. I wish to remain a moment. I will see thee anon.” Verdigris nodded and walked back to the Grange. When he was out of hearing, Luna said, “Thou shouldst not worry. Celly and I will watch over him as though he were our own, which to an extent he is. I wish I had known thee, and I feel the lack. Thou must have been quite special to him, e’en beyond family ties. An it be possible, and in our power, thou shalt meet again. Adieu, for the nonce, our ponies.” She felt their reaction and smiled, then turned and followed Verdigris.

She didn’t see him on the path, and was about to call when a greenish-white light high above caught her eye. Ah, yes, he did mention how much he missed “sky time”, she thought. A smile came to her lips as she saw the quiet joy he felt, and could sense his tension melting away. It does look wonderful. She took wing and was soon by his side, and she quickly understood. Flying was probably the single greatest gift to ponykind, and she felt a hint of sadness that most other ponies couldn’t share in it, a feeling that was quickly swept away by the breeze coming off the ocean. She tilted her head back, closed her eyes and simply enjoyed the sensation of the air passing over her wings.

Verdigris sensed Luna’s approach and opened one eye long enough to see her enjoyment. He smiled internally and thought, I wonder if this is the first time she’s ever just flown for the pleasure of it.

Aye, it is. Flight was merely a way back-and-forth to what affairs needed mine and Celly’s attention. I do not believe it ever occurred to either of us. Thank thee for this wonderful gift thou hast reminded us flight is, she replied. Verdigris felt his cheeks warming, and she chuckled. “Nay, be not embarrassed. Even Princesses can learn something new.”

After some time they didn’t count, Verdigris sighed. “Well, I really don’t want to end this, but I’m feeling a lot better, and I’ve got an appointment with the doctor. I want and need to get back to work.”

Luna nodded, and they drifted to the bluff edge and sat there for a moment, letting their wings cool after the admittedly small but still significant exertion. The Night Princess leaned against him as they waited. Verdigris didn’t flinch, but adjusted his position. “I’m still conflicted,” he said quietly. “I can’t wait to leave, but this is still home. I don’t really want to go, but I can’t wait to shake the dust off my hooves. I’m torn.”

“Aye, ‘twill be so, now the time approaches. The future was far away, but now it is upon thee. Celly and I understand; we did not always live in Canterlot, and had to leave our home for Equestria when the time came.”

“Where was that?” he asked, looking at her curiously.

“It has no name; we simply called it ‘home’. ‘Twas in the far west, beyond the sea. ‘Twas before Discord’s appearance, however, and so it may no longer exist,” Luna replied softly. “Traveling to a new place is ever filled with uncertainty, and leaving home is always frightening, but so long as Celly and I were together, we had nought to fear. It was a great adventure, and ‘tis not yet ended.”

“I guess I’m still getting used to the idea. I should be all right once I start training, and don’t have to worry about anything outside Canterlot for a while.” He nuzzled her. “Thanks for coming and straightening me out.”

“I did not realize thou wert bent.” Verdigris looked at her in surprise, then began to laugh. “Ah, thou art indeed feeling better. That little pun was usually received with groans.”

“Hee-hee! I wasn’t expecting it, least of all from you,” Verdigris replied, and wiped his eyes. “Thank you.”

“Thou art indeed welcome. And now, I must bid thee adieu, as my duties will wait no longer. Pleasant dreams, Verdigris. I will see thee when I see thee.” Luna kissed him, then stood and raised her head. After one last smile, her horn glowed, and she vanished without a sound.

“Well, I was right, and didn’t know it. She did teach Celestia that one,” he said quietly with a slight smile. Verdigris watched the surf for a few more minutes, then got up, shook his mane into place, and walked back to the Grange. “Tomorrow’s another day,” he said to himself.

Verdigris was awake and busy before Sea Foam arrived in the Grange’s processing wing. There were about a thousand pounds of verdigris to be processed, and he’d seen a large piece on the beach before he’d come in. And, truth be told, it was soothing to do the work: Washing the sand and salt off the raw material, then rendering it in the try-works, scooping off debris and impurities, then draining off the liquid into cauldrons to cool. He was a quarter of the way done when Foam arrived. “Well, nice to know you’re back, Verdigris.”

“I got back yesterday, Foam. I’m not back on duty; I just needed something to do and take my mind off things.”

“Okay,” the Pegasus said, looking at the Alicorn as though he wanted to say something. “So, how’s Grass? We haven’t heard anything since she left.”

Verdigris snorted as he loaded more chunks into the large sink. Foam started washing them as his nominal boss said, “I’m surprised they want to hear anything about her, and least of all from me. Your dad I can see, but your mom? She’s convinced I ruined Grass for life when she was summoned to Canterlot after I was struck by lightning.” Verdigris grunted a laugh. “She was four years too early.”

Foam looked at him for a moment. “Okay, too much information. Look, Fan, Wasp and I still want to know. What’s she doing, how’s she doing and is she happy? We haven’t seen her for a year. She’s still our sister.”

“Okay, I can tell you that much. She’s going to Canterlot University, like she wanted to. Full scholarship. She’s doing well, and she’s happy to be with Honey Bunch again, but not thrilled to be away from me,” Verdigris told him. “She misses you, of course, but I don’t think she’s going to come back. I don’t think she wants the argument we all know will happen.”

Foam nodded. “Yeah, we kinda thought so, but I wanted to hear it from you. Look, you love her, right?” Verdigris nodded. “Then let her know we’re okay. Fan’s going for a scholarship. She wants to be a doctor, and you know it can’t be here. Wasp’s going for the Patrol, and Surestrike recommended the Academy for him. Is that necessary?”

“Not for regular Patrol, but I think ‘Strike wants him to go for officer, and that’s the Academy. I’d have to ask, but that sounds about right.” Verdigris grunted another laugh. “I’ll be able to warn him about what’s coming, but will he listen? He’s about as bad as your mom about ‘I know what’s right, because I say so’.”

Foam glared, but nodded. “If it takes getting his flank kicked to straighten him out, then so be it.” He scooped the chunks into the try pots, and adjusted the heat. “So, when you’re gone, it’s all me. I’m gonna need some help.”

“Nopony said you had to get everything done at once, and when you get started it goes quicker than you think. I could do all this in an afternoon.”

“What about the sea salt? That’s a lot of trips with a bucket,” Foam said.

“Oh, come on. The pump’s there for a reason. All you’ve got to do is pay attention.” Verdigris opened the cabinet that housed the unit. “Fill the cistern and start the heat. It takes four days to evaporate the water. You don’t have to boil it off; we can make five hundred pounds, and they don’t use that much.”

“Well, now I know that. You mostly haven’t said,” Foam complained.

“I mostly haven’t been here,” Verdigris riposted. “You try being the pony everything happens to, and see how much time you’re laid up. Trust me, it’s not fun.”

“Yeah, about that … ” Foam trailed off. “Did you really take on Nightmare Moon? What were you, crazy?”

Verdigris gave him that feral grin. “Nah, sometimes I’m just plain nuts.” He chuckled at his interlocutor’s expression. “Everypony will hear about it when it’s important. She came after me, and I didn’t really have a choice. I wasn’t going to be her pet,” he said; it wasn’t the entire truth, but it was enough for the ponies here. “She was going to use me to punish Princess Celestia, and I wasn’t going to do that, either. And she’s fine. The Nightmare’s gone. Luna’s back, and she already apologized. It’s done.”

Foam looked at him for a few minutes, then shook his head. “It’s weird, Verdigris. You know both Princesses, and it’s hard to deal with. Everypony was expecting you to use that, but you didn’t.”

“As everypony kept reminding me, I’m not just another Oceanside pony, Foam. It took a while for me to stop trying to believe it. I didn’t want to be different. I just wanted to fit in. Nopony would let me.” He paused, letting his anger drain away. “So, after a while I gave up. That’s why I kept saying ‘No thanks’ when they started trying to cozy up. They didn’t want me, they wanted what I could do. Buck them if they think I’m gonna hoof it over, ‘cause I’m so happy to be accepted. Bull-puck.”

Foam nodded as he covered the try pots. “Yeah, they didn’t like that. Dad heard the ‘big fish’ complain about your ingratitude, as they put it. Some ponies,” he finished, shaking his head. He cut up more pieces, then said, “Word is you and Honey Bunch are an item, and Grass too. How’s that going to work?”

“Works just fine. They don’t fight over me; they like each other too much.” Verdigris noticed him flinch. “Oh, please. You know better. It’s ten-to-one mares to stallions, and some have foals. Friendship is magic; love’s even more so, Foam. Just because that’s not what daddy learned doesn’t make it wrong. It is what it is, and we can’t change it. I’m relieved that Grass and Honey are more than just friends, ‘cause I honestly couldn’t choose. I love them both, and I don’t want to hurt either of them. I’m not stupid, and I don’t fight the weather. Anything else, and you get hurt. They don’t want that; we’ve already hashed that out. It’s done.”

The Pegasus nodded as Driftwood walked in. “Ah, thought I heard ya, Verdigris. Checkin’ th’ beach t’day?”

“That high tide had to wash in something, Drift, and there’s a big chunk down there. I’ll go when we’re done; I’ve got nothing planned for the next few days.”

The Earth pony nodded. “Heard a few things,” he said.

“You’ll be at the Anchor, right?” Driftwood nodded. “Okay, get the gang together and I’ll tell everypony. Just make sure they behave themselves. I’m sure some of Masthead and Freeboard’s crews will be there, so they can hear it, too. The Council can go hang, for all I care. They never did me any favors.”

“They might not like that, lad.”

“Buck ‘em to the moon, for all I care. They don’t like me, and I don’t like them. Simple. Maybe I’ll answer questions, but if they think they’re going to spread rumors, they’ve got another thing coming.”

Driftwood nodded sagely. “Aye, yer right. Just wanted ta make sure. Some’s said yer not right in the head after what ya’ve been through, an’ a few’s worried.” He took a look around and nodded. “Ya got it in hoof. See ya t’night.”

“I’ll be there, but I ain’t buying; they can really put it away. Not right in the head my flank,” Verdigris said, making Driftwood laugh as he left.

“Well, that should be interesting,” Foam noted.

“You don’t know the half of it.”

An hour later, Verdigris was down on the beach, walking to the south end to start his search. Something told him to hurry, as though he was missing or going to miss something, and so he broke into a trot, then a canter, looking along the cliff base. A blotch of color stopped him in his tracks, and he gaped in shock. A stallion lay dead near the stream outlet, his blood running freely from a cut throat. It hadn’t happened long ago.

Verdigris’ eyes narrowed, and he listened. The surf covered any noise somepony might make. “You might as well come out,” he called over the dull roar. “That draw doesn’t have a way out for about three miles.” He was surprised to see Horshkov walk out, the knife still in her mouth. He looked at the pony again, and noticed the mark on his shoulder. He was Rus. “What’s going on, Tatya?”

She dropped the knife and said, “You should have known it was not over, Verdigris. You broke only one part of the syndicate in Stalliongrad. Once Bronyiev’s underlings settled down, another came in and decided you needed a lesson. I knew you would be down here, and came to tell you. This one,” she nodded at the body, “followed me, and was going to leave me for you to find before they struck.”

“Great. Just great. How long?” A sudden rumbling made him look up, and he saw a boulder rolling straight at Horshkov. He blasted it into dust with a bolt, and looked up to see a half-dozen ponies standing on the bluff, surprised at what he’d done. Two Pegasai leaped down, arrowing for him as an Earth pony aimed a crossbow. A bolt to the face ended that problem, and he braced for the attack. “Go back about twenty feet, Tatya. There’s a shallow cave to the left. I’ll take care of this,” he said, his voice hardening.

As Tatiyana retreated, he concentrated. He didn’t have time for his armor, but his blades appeared in their proper places. “All right, you sons-of-nags! Here I am! Time to get hurt!” he shouted in Rus. He fired another bolt, but its target wasn’t a pony. Instead, it detonated a hundred feet up in a brilliant red fireball. “Time’s a-wasting!”

The Pegasai swept in from opposite directions, and instead of standing to take their attack, he dodged towards the surf, gaining time and room. A hard leap put him into flight, and he circled around, taking the entire area in at once. Damn it, Tatya’s alone, he thought as two Earth ponies ran down the beach. They thought this one through. His eyes narrowed, and he felt the change come. You donkeys wanted to play with fire. Somepony’s gonna get burned.

The Pegasai never saw it coming. As they maneuvered, one’s wing seemed to explode as green-white fire lanced through it, sending blood, bone and feathers off in a cloud. He screamed as the wing stopped working and he fell. The second made the mistake of looking, and caught the jet of sea water Verdigris called up square in the face. He nearly drowned as the water forced itself into his mouth and nose, continuing into his lungs. He fell to the beach, coughing violently and gasping for breath.

Verdigris turned hard and dodged between five crossbow bolts as he raced toward the bluff. No way in Tarterus, he thought as he swept in low, aiming for the ponies headed for Horshkov’s position. He focused on their tails, prepared to buck them through their skulls. He was too focused. Both wings were pierced by two bolts apiece, and they’d been shot perfectly, striking near the wing roots. He felt his wings begin to collapse, and instead of resisting, he dropped, curled into a ball and rolled over the sand. He was on his hooves quickly, just in time to duck a sword swing, which he countered with a reverse wing-sweep that crippled his attacker. His partner slammed into Verdigris’ side, making the Alicorn stumble, but not fall. Verdigris broke the pony’s jaw in two places with both back hooves, then looked up at the bluff to see another bolt coming at his face. He caught it in his left wing, hissing at the pain, and fired a bolt of his own, which detonated below the three remaining ponies, collapsing the rock under them and sending them down to the beach, bleeding and broken as the small avalanche partially buried them.

Verdigris took the respite to extract the bolts with telekinesis, and when he looked back toward Horshkov’s position, he saw her in the hooves of a dark grey Pegasus. Her neck was twisted hard to one side, and the stallion said, “Move, and she dies.”

Tatiyana’s face was wild with fear, her eyes bulging. The sight suddenly called up some excruciating memories: Freewind lying on his floor, bleeding, and Sky and Hawkfeather’s bodies crumpled on the front lawn. Verdigris cringed internally, and he felt a rush of cold pass through him. No, he thought. Not this time. Not again. Never again. “If she dies, I’ll make you suffer beyond what any pony has ever suffered,” Verdigris replied as his coat rippled while it changed to black. “Instead of being just one of many targets, I’ll focus all my rage on you, and you’ll beg to die.”

The Pegasus sneered. “Big words. You have no stomach for killing, слабак. You foalishly allowed Bronyiev to live, and now you will pay for what you have done. When you attack the Rus, you must kill, or we will come back, again and again.”

Verdigris heard the cry of a bird of prey in his mind. “I know how to deal with cockroaches: Set them on fire!” he snarled as a tight burst of fire erupted from his horn, catching the Pegasus in the face. It spread outward over his body to envelop him completely, and he lost his grip as the pain hit. The sickening smell of burned flesh, hair and feathers seemed to cover everything as Horshkov stumbled free, her face frozen in horror as her captor collapsed to the sand, writhing and groaning in agony. She stopped at the surf line as Verdigris walked forward, watching his victim with cold, passionless disdain for about a minute before extinguishing the flames. “This is what happens when you threaten my friends and think I’ll wilt. But don’t worry, you won’t die; somepony needs to see what’s in store if they try again.”

Tatya stopped and stared, but her thoughts were oddly settled. He is right. A live example is more effective. Very Rus. How does he know this? Who could have told him, and when? She flinched when those cold, strange eyes settled on her after a few moments. Am I next? she couldn’t help wondering. She relaxed slightly as he looked away, pain in his eyes.

A bright flash nearby announced Celestia’s arrival, with a dozen Guards. “Stand down, Stormhawk,” she commanded. Verdigris grimaced, then lowered his head as he returned to his normal size and coloring. The Princess moved to the Rus’ side as her Guards surrounded Verdigris, leveling their spears and hemming him in. She looked at the mess, her exterior calm, while what she really wanted to do was throw up. The groans were almost unbearable, and she magicked him into merciful unconsciousness. She shuddered, then walked to the edge of the circle, her eyes burning. “Why did you do that?” she demanded as the Patrol team he’d summoned arrived.

“He was going to kill Tatiyana,” he replied softly, not raising his head. “I told myself it wouldn’t happen again. You didn’t see what was in his mind. He was happily re-living some of his most vicious kills, and that’s what did it. I wasn’t going to let him do it again.”

Celestia could hear the revulsion in his voice, but her expression didn’t change. “You could have killed him.”

His humorless laugh surprised her. “Oh, no, I wanted him to live. I want the Rus to know what they’ll get if they try again, god-mother,” Verdigris said as he raised his head. His eyes were clear, but she could see the mad colors dancing behind them. He glanced at Tatya, who flinched. “I wasn’t going to watch a friend die.”

Celestia looked at him for a minute, then nodded. “All right. I understand, but you’re going to pay. Literally. His hospital stay, treatment and therapy is coming out of your pouch.” As she walked forward, the Guards stepped back, ready and watchful. “I have nothing to worry about,” she said as she stopped close to him and touched her horn to his. She grimaced when she saw his mental state. Is it out of your system? she asked silently.

I don’t know. Seeing him ready to kill Tatya brought back Freewind, dad and Sky. I wasn’t going to let her die because of me, like they did, or nearly did. As you’re my witness, I don’t know what I’d have done, and I don’t want to know. I know how close I was; I could feel it. I don’t want to go there again. She felt his skin crawl as he saw something she didn’t catch.

I’m sorry. I never thought they’d try again, Verdigris. Like you, I was hoping it was over. She sighed. I assume you want him to go back as an example. He nodded. Very well, but you’re still going to pay. I think he already has, and it’s almost too much. I can’t have you doing this again, god-son. I don’t want to punish you, but you’re leaving me without much in the way of choices. This has to end.

Celestia stepped back, turned and walked to Horshkov’s side. “Are you all right?”

Tatiyana looked at Verdigris, and the fear was obvious. “I – I do not know, your Highness. I have seen him fight, but nothing like this. He – he was mad, for a moment. I could feel it. I appreciate being saved, but … that was grotesque,” she replied haltingly. “It was not necessary.”

“What’s necessary isn’t always pretty, Tatiyana. No doubt you’ve heard what Bronyiev has done, and reacted about the same?” The Rus mare nodded. “Verdigris doesn’t hold back when something really matters to him, whatever it might be. You couldn’t have a better protector, even if he tends to over-do it, and you know you’re safe with him. I know it was horrible, but you’re alive. I only hope he doesn’t lose somepony close to him again. I don’t know what might happen, and that scares me a little. I don’t want to have to take drastic action.”

Horshkov forgot her fear in surprise. “Y-you would – you would banish him?” she stammered.

“If I had no other choice. I never want to find out,” Celestia admitted. She sighed, then said, “You should come with me to Canterlot. Oceanside’s not safe any more. This is for your and Verdigris’ sakes,” she added as Tatya was about to protest. “He’s only one pony, and he can’t be everywhere.”

No, I can’t, he agreed, startling Horshkov, who looked at him with her mouth hanging open. She’s right, Tatya. They almost succeeded this time. What about the next time? There will be one. He implied it, and I can’t take that chance.

“I … yes, your Highness. You are right, they will continue. Excuse me, please.” Celestia nodded, and Tatiyana walked to Verdigris, who wouldn’t meet her eyes. “I am sorry, Verdigris. I brought this upon you, and all I wanted to do was speak with you.”

“What about?” he asked listlessly.

“It was what I told you. They will not stop until you have been punished to their satisfaction.” His eyes lit slightly, and she managed not to flinch. “да, every member of your family, and your loved ones, but not you. What good is a stallion who cannot protect those he loves?”

“They’ve got to know it’ll end in fire, Tatya. If they do that, I’ll burn them, and I may not leave Stalliongrad until it’s a smoking ruin.” He glanced over his shoulder. “And I know for a fact she’d banish me. Who could take that kind of risk?”

She nodded, then said, “Be careful. I think we must go.” She nuzzled him briefly, then joined Celestia. “до свидания, Verdigris.”

Celestia looked at him and said silently, Be careful, and keep yourself under control, god-son. You can do it. Goodbye. They vanished as the Patrol gathered, taking in the scene and taking charge of the injured. Thunderstorm turned green as he treated the Pegasus Verdigris had flambeed. “Celestia’s mane, what did you do, lad?”

“Pest control. Cockroaches have to be burned out,” he replied angrily. He closed his eyes, took a breath, held it for a minute and slowly released it. “Never mind. Take them to the hospital on my tab. That’s my punishment.”

“Seems a little light,” Solstice commented.

“He’s burned everywhere,” Thunderstorm managed to croak out. “That’s gonna be expensive. That’s not counting the rest of them.”

“Like uncle Blackwolf says, hit them in the bit pouch if you really want to hurt them.”

“All right, that’s enough,” Birchbark cut in. “Look, if you’re going to be like this, I don’t want you, and neither will Shining Armor.”

“He’s not the one I have to impress, Birch.” Verdigris shook his head. “Gah, I’ve got to get away, or I’ll say something I’m going to regret. But first,” he said as he walked over to one of the Earth ponies the Patrol had extracted from the rubble at the bluff’s base. “Pay attention, идиот. You’re going to tell me who’s giving the orders, or your fate will make his look clean and nice. I’ll boil your blood from the inside. Understood?”

The black and green stallion looked, and went pale. “If I do, I will die.”

“Only if you tell somepony. They’re unconscious, or just out of it. Spit it out.” Verdigris’ face moved closer, and the Rus saw something that made him recoil. “Now.”

“W-we know him as ‘Speaker’. That is the only name we have.” The stallion began to shake, then tore his gaze away. “Please. I know nothing else.”

Verdigris nodded. “All right. You have nothing to worry about.” He walked away, shaking his head. “Ponies using aliases. Why am I surprised?” He stopped when Birchbark stepped in his way. “What?”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Oh, gee, I don’t know, Birch. The one I cooked was only going to kill Tatiyana while I watched, and all of them were trying to get her. I wasn’t going to let it happen again, and I got a good look at what they’re like inside. I’m just peachy,” the Alicorn snarled. “Look, I’m going somewhere I can let it out, and nopony gets hurt. I’ll write up a statement for you, but not right now. I’m still too pissed to think straight for long. It brought everything back, and I mean everything, Birch. All the fights, and Free, Sky and dad.” He paused to take a few breaths, but they didn’t seem to help. “I’ve gotta go. Later.” He leaped up, caught air and kicked off, heading north with a mini-thunderclap.

Solstice and Thunderstorm joined the Captain and watched as the trail faded. “Leave off, Birch,” the doctor said. “He wasn’t joking. I’ve seen that kind of anger before. He’ll get over it, but right now he’s ready to lash out at anypony, and I don’t think he cares who gets hurt.”

The Captain looked north, then nodded. “Damn. If I thought it would help, I’d ask Surestrike to talk to him, but after seeing this mess, I’m not sure he’d listen.” He shook his head, then looked back at the near-massacre site. “All right, let’s get this finished up. Blackhoof won’t like more Rus in his hospital, but what else can we do?”

“Sir?” Birchbark turned back and looked at the new Sergeant. “What happens next time? I mean, he’s right up there with the Princesses when he’s that mad. Who’s going to stop him if he really loses it?”

“The Princesses, and I have the feeling they’ll hate what they might have to do.”

Celestia and the others appeared in the palace courtyard, and Shining trotted out. “What is it, your Highness?” He looked at Horshkov curiously. “What happened?”

“Verdigris happened, Captain.” She briefly explained, and he appeared ill. “Tatiyana is here for her own safety. Please find her lodgings until we can make permanent arrangements.”

“Nothing large or fancy,” Horshkov said. “I came here with nothing.”

“We’ll have the Patrol gather your belongings. I won’t have you starting over with nothing.”

“Celly!” Everypony looked up to see Luna descending quickly. She seemed distraught. When she landed, she said, “I had the most horrible dream. Verdigris was – ” She stopped when she saw Horshkov, and her expression changed to mild horror. “Oh, no. It was real. Where is he?”

“He was still in Oceanside when we left. I think – ” Celestia began until a wisp of flame appeared, and she caught the scroll when it materialized. After reading it, she sighed. “He just took off, heading north. To get away from everypony until he calms down.” She looked away in thought. “Where would he go?” She pictured Equestria in her mind, tracing his possible route. She could sense Luna doing the same. A few minutes passed, and their eyes met as their personal Guards arrived. “The Aerie,” they said as one.

“What’s that?” Tango asked. “We’ve never heard of it,” Blackwing added.

“The Hawk Clan’s ancestral home,” Luna said as they all walked inside.

“But he’s never been there. He can’t know where it is. Only Pegasai born there do,” Anvil said.

“Not true,” Hammer countered. “Petrel once told me all Hawks find their true home when they need to.”

“Where is it?” Tatiyana asked.

Anvil smiled grimly. “That’s just it. Nopony but the Hawks know.”

Luna and Celestia shared a long look, then nodded. “We will allow him time, if he truly needs it,” the Night Princess said.

Celestia nodded when Shining looked at her inquiringly. “It may be the only way.”

“And if that’s not good enough?” the Captain asked.

Another shared look passed between the Princesses. “We’ll do what we have to do,” Celestia replied.

“Well, don’t you know it’s time for me to fly. Oh, I've got to set myself free. Time for me to fly. Oh, baby that's just how it's got to be. Oh, oh, I know it hurts to say goodbye, but it's time for me to fly. It’s time for me to fly. It’s time for me to fly.” – REO Speedwagon, Time for Me to Fly (You Can Tune A Piano, But You Can’t Tuna Fish)

Verdigris flew. There was nothing else he could do. He had to think. He had to be alone. He just had to get away from it all, before it came crashing down on him and everypony he knew. But where can I go? he asked himself as the mountains passed below.

He felt a stirring in his mind, and a strange yet familiar voice said, Home.

He almost stopped, but something urged him on, faster and higher. Where is that? he asked as he gained altitude and speed.

The home you never knew about. The one place Hawks can go nopony else can, except those who have the will and strength. The Aerie. We all need to find it, at one time or another. It’s where we can be our true selves.

Verdigris continued climbing as he asked, How will I know when I’ve found it?

You'll know, as I knew you needed to come. We’ll be waiting, Verdigris. I can’t guarantee it, but you may find what you’re looking for, the peace you’ve never really known, the voice said. The answers are here, but not as you might expect. Until then. The stirring stopped, but something drew him on.

If it gets me through this, then I don’t really have a choice. And I’m curious. Dad mentioned the Aerie, once, and Eaglefeather’s there. Maybe... He concentrated, and his speed increased until he felt and saw the air parting around his horn and wings as he broke the sound barrier. The air was thinner, but still breathable, and he felt some exhilaration at his speed. Canterlot passed below, unnoticed.

As they walked into the Court Hall, the Princesses looked up. The others did likewise, but saw nothing, as their view was blocked by stone. “What is it?” Shining asked.

“There he goes,” Celestia said quietly, her eyes tracing something beyond the walls. Luna said nothing, but nodded. About a minute later, a distinctive triple-boom echoed through the sky, rattling the windows slightly. Celestia smiled. “Even that has to be different.”

“What caused the triple-boom?” Horshkov asked.

“His horn and wings create their own shock-waves, and the third is the normal-pressure restoration boundary,” Shining said. They looked at him, and he added, “What? I listen. The Pegasai were discussing how a sonic boom could be used as a weapon, but they’d have to fly so low they’d literally be skimming the ground. Imagine running into a house at that speed.” He shuddered.

“You continue to surprise me,” Celestia replied lightly, before her gaze returned to the sky beyond the palace, and her expression sobered. “I have no idea where the Aerie is. Luna?”

“I was there once, ‘Tia, and it may have been moved.” Luna shrugged. “I cannot say, either way. I was sworn to secrecy by Goshawk himself.”

“What for? Don’t they trust us?”

“It is their ancestral and spiritual home, Captain. One does not simply trot or fly to the Aerie. There are requirements, and the journey is the test. Those who pass – and they are not exclusively Pegasai – are Hawks in spirit, and are accepted into the fold,” Luna replied almost pedantically.

“Like you, I presume, your Highness.” Luna only smiled. “So why is he going there?”

“It may be he can find answers, what he needs to stay on course, what he needs to stay balanced,” Luna replied. “Perhaps what he needs to stay sane.”

Celestia looked at her, then continued on. “I hope you’re right, Luna. It’s like somepony wants him to wish he was dead, or something like that.”

“Perhaps there is,” Luna said to herself. When Celestia looked at her, she added silently, Torrentican.

Celestia nodded. I thought he was after Sean, not Verdigris.

Luna shrugged. Who truly knows what his motives might be? He is definitely capable, and may be trying to prevent them from joining forces. We – you and I – cannot say. None can.

Verdigris flew on, ignoring the fatigue as best he could. One hour had gone into five; he couldn’t yet maintain supersonic speed for over thirty minutes, and he didn’t think he was very far from his goal. He could feel something. That was all he could have said, if asked. It wasn’t far. He scanned the mountains, wondering if the Aerie was outside Equestria’s borders, and how close they were to Griffin lands. Might explain why nopony goes there, unless they absolutely have to, like dad said, he thought. He blinked his eyes; they were threatening to dry from the wind.

After he blinked, he saw it: A brief glint, like sunlight off gold to his lower left. Yes, you’ve found us. Come on in; we’ve been expecting you. Watch the entrance, though. The tests aren’t over; they haven’t even started, the voice said. Verdigris checked his speed slightly, then began circling to lose altitude slowly as well as check the area thoroughly. Tests implied plenty.

As he lost height, he noticed the wind was changing, and he extended his wings fully and felt the effect of the largest mountain to the west. It broke the smooth airflow, making it unsteady as the wind passed around it; he could almost see the ripples and vortices breaking around its flanks, creating up- and down-drafts. It was going to be a challenge. Well, I’m here, and I can’t go back. This should be fun, he thought. Lucky me.

He watched as he descended, and noticed what seemed to be a pattern to the disturbances. After a few minutes’ watching, he nodded. Okay, I can do this. Just wait … wait … now! He dove, his wings pulled in like a stooping falcon. The air rushed by, buffeting him slightly, and he pulled up to glide level nearly a hundred feet lower, still feeling the unstable air beyond the tips of his primaries as he stayed within the gyre, following it around the valley. A few minutes passed, and he dropped again, this time soaring below the layer, where the wind died in the mountain’s “shadow”. He glanced up, seeing and feeling the wind shear ten feet above. Not good for flying. He stretched his wings, catching the maximum amount of air, letting the airflow carry him along. He thought about “cruising”, but didn’t due to a feeling it wouldn’t go well. He just maintained altitude, letting the flow carry him along.

When the glint caught his eye again, he felt the wind die, and he began flapping. There was a narrow gap, and he understood. He accelerated, then pulled his wings tightly against his body at the apex, his momentum carrying him between the rock faces, just as he’d seen many gulls do back home, and a few other birds in general. He carefully extended his wings again, and felt still air. He carefully used his magic to cruise near the rock shelf, then back-winged to land on the small ledge, which was about ten by ten feet. In the center was a small parabolic dish, which he noticed would only reflect upwards at a specific angle. These weren’t primitive ponies, by any means.

He paused with his wings spread, letting the slight airflow cool them. It was the most he’d used his wings at any one time, and the toughest flying he’d ever done. He wondered how many hadn’t made it, and his morbid curiosity got the better of him. He folded his wings, turned and looked over the edge. About a hundred-fifty feet down, he could see the bleached bones of over a hundred Pegasai, with more scattered around the valley floor. Like Uncle Mike said, ‘Be careful what you ask, you might not like the answer’. He shuddered.

He turned and looked at the entrance, which was just tall and wide enough for a large Earth pony to walk through. Before moving in, he looked at the rocks. A few tattered feathers clung there, as though more than one Pegasus had crashed after misjudging. He flinched. A bad landing here could make the rest of the trip difficult and unpleasant, if the passage inside was anything like the flight. He shook himself and stepped through the opening, ducking from habit; a good thing, too, as a projection just above his head would have caught him in the horn, otherwise. Oh, a claustrophobia test. I wonder if this stopped anypony, he thought as the passage narrowed slightly. He lit his horn, and had his answer. In two places, there was blood, hair and feathers on the rocks, as though somepony had panicked and hurt themselves trying to get out. The rocks were angled to stop anypony from turning or backing out unless they were calm. What the buck did I just get myself into?

He paused briefly as he thought about the tons and tons of rock above him, then closed his eyes and imagined what a frightened Pegasus would be feeling. Breathless. Caught. Trapped. Dying. The impressions leached out of the rocks, and he opened his eyes quickly as he began to breath heavily. It isn’t happening to me. It’s my imagination, and what I’m feeling from them, he told himself. A few minutes later, he pressed on, shifting his wings as the jagged rocks slid over his feathers and flanks like claws. I get it. First a test of skill and endurance, now a test of nerve. Strength, and maybe brains come next, I’d say. All right, I can do this. I’ve faced worse in my dreams.

The passage narrowed until he had to shift, squeeze and exhale to make it through. There was a sharp u-turn, and the walls suddenly vanished, as did the light. He brightened his horn, and looked around the vast chamber, which seemed to stretch for miles in all directions. He paused, made sure of his hoofing and stopped the light. It was, because of the profound, absolute darkness, very illuminating. The slight, erratic breeze didn’t help; it felt as though something was brushing against him. There was no real threat, but the darkness, random touches of wind and lack of sound were unnerving. The imagination could conjure up the worst things, which is why most ponies feared the dark. Even if there was nothing in it, their minds would fill it with all kinds of monsters. Especially after that long, nerve-wracking passage that guaranteed any torches would be out by the time you reached this point. Verdigris shivered again. He had to fight back images of Nightmare Moon.

He re-lit his horn and started across the vast, utterly empty space, his hoof-steps swallowed in the distance. He chuckled, broke into a trot to set the tempo and began to sing.
“Whenever I feel afraid, I hold my head erect And whistle a happy tune, So nopony suspects I'm afraid. While shivering in my shoes, I strike a careless pose And whistle a happy tune, And so nopony knows I'm afraid. The result of this deception Is very strange to tell, For when I fool the ponies, I fear I fool myself as well! I whistle a happy tune, And ev'ry single time The happiness in the tune Convinces me that I'm not afraid.
“Make believe you're brave And the trick will take you far. You may be as brave As you make believe you are. You may be as brave As you make believe you are. While shivering in my shoes, I strike a careless pose And whistle a happy tune, And so nopony knows I'm afraid.
“The result of this deception Is very strange to tell, For when I fool the ponies, I fear I fool myself as well!
“I whistle a happy tune And ev'ry single time The happiness in the tune Convinces me that I'm not afraid. Make believe you're brave, And the trick will take you far. You may be as brave As you make believe you are.
“Whenever I feel afraid, I hold my head erect And whistle a happy tune So nopony suspects I'm afraid. While shivering in my shoes, I strike a careless pose And whistle a happy tune, And so nopony knows I'm afraid.”

He reached the other side after two choruses, and slowed to a walk. The far opening had some light coming in, and it would be almost blinding after that awful darkness. It would be so easy to rush in and not see what was there. Overconfidence and relief were dangerous, too. He paused, letting his eyes adjust, and saw the pit just as the smell hit him: Rotting flesh. He looked down to see several bodies, not all of them Pegasai. “Eeyugh,” he said in disgust. “Definitely a test of nerve. And discipline.”

He looked around and saw a narrow ledge, just wide enough to let a sure-footed pony pass. The pit wasn’t very wide, just enough to let a careful Pegasus reach the far side. He concentrated, and felt a magic-dampening effect, which meant no teleporting. Yep, strength and brains. Patience, too, he thought as he glanced down again. He backed up, got a slight running start and jumped, spreading his wings. He back-winged slightly to stop as he touched-down, and looked ahead. A very narrow passage was next, just wide enough to walk through, not fly. He wondered how many Pegasai had broken wings because of that.

He walked forward, and the passage climbed abruptly, then leveled out, debouching into a small room that had no way out. He paused, then lit his horn again and looked around to find a lever to his right. He looked again, but there was nothing else. He reached out and pulled the lever, causing some machinery to start as the opening closed behind him. He waited, and an opening appeared in front of him briefly, then closed again. The way back opened for a few seconds, then closed, and he realized it was a timing exercise. He counted heart-beats when the rear opened and closed, repeating it a several times until he had the timing, and sped through when his chance came.

The next chamber was a literal nightmare, as it seemed to have everything wrong: Stairs on the ceiling, walkways on the walls, diamond-shaped false windows and doors turned sideways made his head spin. The proportions were wrong, and the angles weren’t completely square. It tortured eyes and mind, and he closed his eyes and lowered his head, letting the vertigo pass. He opened his eyes again, this time looking at the floor directly in front of his hooves before taking quick glances to the side. As he did so, he caught a scent, and it seemed to – Ah, I get it. Ignore what I’m seeing, and just follow my nose. He kept his head down, watching his hoofing as he followed the scent. It led him past several visually-jarring sights, and he narrowed his eyes until all he could see was the floor directly in front of him.

A bright flash of light dazzled him, and he closed his eyes, still following the scent. As he moved, more flashes lit his eyelids, and he knew the light would be almost blinding after the half-lit areas he passed through, so he followed the scent until it stopped. He turned his head, sniffing to locate the trail, if it was broken, and he found it again, this time turning sharply to the right. He followed, through more lights and the occasional loud noise until all he had was smell and touch to go by. After who knew how long, he passed through an opening that was more inferred than sensed, as the noise, light and scent stopped.

He cautiously opened his eyes to find himself in a large chamber that had a huge balance scale that was at least three times as tall as any pony, and several large rock slabs were stacked across the room from it. A carrying yoke lay nearby. The only difference from the other tests was a carved sign on the scale, which read, ALL THINGS REQUIRE BALANCE, and nothing else. By now, he’d lost track of time completely, and it felt as though he’d been making this journey for hours. He wondered if anypony had lost hope and given up, and when, and it occurred to him this was also a test of perseverance. Nopony could say I knew when to give up, he thought with a grim smile.

Verdigris took a few moments to rest. It had been a long, grueling trip, and he hadn’t eaten since this morning. It reminded him of something Uncle Mike had said about a training course he’d gone through that involved similar, something he’d called “buds”. It had that feel to it. After the breather, he began lifting the slabs with telekinesis, testing their weight and matching them. It was an intricate puzzle, as none of them were the same. After a while, he had the stones arranged the best he could manage, and began placing them in pairs. The strain started to set in by the time he had the pointer standing straight up. There was a loud clack! as the balance settled, and a door opened to his right. He walked through, stumbling with fatigue.

He arrived in a large, round room, with a barred gate in front of him. There was a large circle in the center, and he stopped inside it. After a moment, several ponies stepped out of the shadows around the perimeter, and he wasn’t surprised to see Earth ponies and Unicorns among the Pegasai. They approached silently and stood a few feet away from the circle’s edge, watching him with expressions varying between curiosity, neutrality and disbelief. Verdigris looked around, and his ears flattened back. “If I’m supposed to fight my way through, you can forget it. That’s not what I came here for.”

“We know. This is the final test, and it’s the most crucial,” said a familiar voice. A stone-grey Unicorn walked out and stopped at the circle’s edge in front of him. “First, who are you?”

“I’m a Hawk,” he replied.

“Whom do you serve?”

“I serve no pony, I serve Equestria.”

The Unicorn nodded at his answers. “All right, that was the easy part. What’s your name?” he asked informally.

“Verdigris. I’m also known as Stormhawk.” There was a brief stir. “I guess that name isn’t too popular.”

“The last pony to use that name was a traitor,” a cyan and black Pegasus said.

“Stop it,” the Unicorn said. “Who’s your father, and where were you born?”

“Hawkfeather, and I was born in Oceanside.”

“Oh, Celestia, that place,” a dapple-grey Earth pony acerbated. “What was Gyrfalcon thinking?”

“Why are you here?”

“It’s not why I’m here, but why I left. I had to get away from everything and everypony before I did something I’d regret.” He briefly explained what had happened, and the ponies glanced at each other. “It was that, or Celestia would keep her promise about sending me to the moon.”

“With the Nightmare?” somepony to his rear gasped.

“Nightmare Moon is gone. Luna’s back. I’d have been there alone.”

“He’s lying. We’d have heard about it,” somepony replied with a sneer.

Verdigris’ eyes glowed softly as he said, “A true Hawk doesn’t say things like that. If any of you have the nerve, come and take a good look.” He wasn’t surprised to see the Unicorn spokespony walk into the circle. “You might not like what you’re going to find.”

“I’ll be the judge of that. I may have seen worse,” the stallion replied. “May I?” Verdigris nodded and closed his eyes, and he felt their horns touch. “Just let your mind wander.” Verdigris did, letting his thoughts leap from subject to subject through free-association. He didn’t bother to censor anything; he was too tired to try or care. Contact broke, and the Unicorn stepped back, looking at Verdigris solemnly when he opened his eyes. “You’ve been through a lot for a sixteen-year-old, never mind what she did.”

“You don’t know the half of it, sir.”

The Unicorn nodded sharply. “Welcome to the Aerie, Verdigris. There’s somepony you know here.”

“Aunt Eaglefeather. I know why, too,” he said wearily.

“All right. Come with me.” The Unicorn turned and walked to the gate, which opened silently. Verdigris followed with his head down. He was bone-tired, and almost slap-happy after all the tests. Staying on his hooves was all he could do, or so it seemed. He ignored the murmuring as he left it behind. He wasn’t interested, and had probably heard it before.

He followed the Unicorn until they stopped in a fair-sized room. There was a window, and it was dark outside. Verdigris forgot his weariness for a moment, and looked outside. “Ugh, it’s past midnight. No wonder.”

“The entrance is that way for a reason. We get to see you at the end of your string, as it were. We get to see the real you.”

“And how am I doing?”

The Unicorn looked at him for a long moment. “You’ve got some work to do, but I’m sure you’ll make it. Nopony who gets in doesn’t.”

Verdigris nodded. “I never asked your name.”

“Blackhawk.” He held out a hoof, and Verdigris took it. “You get some sleep. There’s a lot to learn and do before you get settled in.”

“I hope that doesn’t take too long. I hadn’t planned on being away – well, I just didn’t plan. I left without warning or thinking about it. I just had to leave.”

Blackhawk nodded solemnly. “I know. That would have taken a lot to miss. That’s why you’re here. Everypony who wasn’t born here has some serious issues to deal with, and the Aerie just seems to call them. We don’t know how or why, but we don’t question it. So far, all the problems were solved. Well, for those who make it.”

“How many don’t?”

There was a long silence. “One out of every two-hundred gets through, and most of those are true Hawks,” Blackhawk replied softly. “Nothing’s changed in nearly a thousand years, Verdigris. At least not that way. We keep up, but the news we get isn’t that recent. We’ll be asking a lot of questions, especially since you seem to be in the middle of it.” He looked at the Alicorn, and Verdigris couldn’t figure out his expression. “You’re unique, and not just because you’re an Alicorn. There’s a lot about you that’s out of the ordinary. But that can wait. Get some sleep. You need it. Good night.”

“Good night, Blackhawk.” The door closed, and Verdigris looked out into the night. “I need to tell somepony. Good thing it’s Luna.” He closed his eyes and concentrated, picturing the Night Princess. Luna.

The response was immediate. Verdigris. Hast thou reached the Aerie?

I just got in a few minutes ago, and I’m tired, he replied. What’s happened?

We were worried, every pony. I dreamt of thy fight, and know why thou left. ‘Twas so terrible?

He sighed. If I could take it back, I would. I don’t know what got into me, and I can’t take the chance it might spill over. Tatya’s probably having nightmares, and I don’t want to think about what the stallion I fried is going through. I’m really not proud of myself.

There was a brief silence. I shall tell Celly, and anypony thou feel shouldst know. When wilt thou return? He could sense her – not desperation, but worry.

I don’t know. I’ll be back when I come back. That’s the best I can do. I can’t come back until I know it’s safe for everypony else.

Then we will wait for thee. Remember, there are ponies who love thee, and wish to see thee again. Until then. Fare thee well, my love. Contact broke abruptly, and he stood there, dumbfounded.

That was sudden, he thought, then shook his head. One more thing to get my head around. Tomorrow. I can’t think straight. Verdigris didn’t bother with the light or blankets. He just laid down, took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He was asleep before he knew it.

Celestia looked up at the night sky, wondering what had gone wrong. Luna was back, but now Verdigris was having serious problems. It was as though, as Luna suggested, somepony – or someone – was targeting him. It just wasn’t fair. Nopony deserves a life of pain. Everypony deserves a chance at happiness. And nopony should have to go through what he has, she thought.

Her thoughts were disturbed, thankfully, by Luna’s arrival on the balcony beside her. “Thou shouldst be abed, ‘Tia. Thou needs sleep, as do all others.”

“I’ve pulled my share of all-nighters, Lulu. Who do you think took care of the moon while you were gone?”

The Night Princess boggled for a moment, then said, “I must rectify that, but anon. He is there, and as well as can be expected, for such a harrowing day. He – he felt brittle, sister. And I am afraid I made an ill-timed and inappropriate admission.”

Celestia looked at her neutrally. “You told him.” Luna looked down, and her sister raised her head gently with a hoof. “I’m not angry, but you could have waited, Lulu. He didn’t need to know for sure, although I’d be surprised if he didn’t, on some level. Wait a day before you talk to him again, after he’s had time to – oh, how’d Michael put it? Oh, yes – decompress. He’s been through as much today as I think he did when his father was killed, maybe more. You did say the way in was very hard.”

Luna nodded. “It was, and likely still is, if it has not been ‘improved’.” She looked at Celestia curiously. “Surely thou knowest its locale, and yet thou hast never gone, ‘Tia. Why?”

“I know. There was never enough time, and Goshawk was always willing to come when called.” She paused, then gave a little smile. “And stop calling me Shirley.”

Luna blinked, looked at her sister in amazement, then broke out in rueful laughter. “I see I will be prey to that until my speech changes.”

Celestia chuckled and said, “Consider it the price of being old-fashioned.”