Despite her magical disguise as an ordinary, if notably tall, unicorn, Luna’s gaze carried a heavy weight of royal scrutiny as she directed it at the mustard-yellow stallion acrobat at the table. “Harlequin,” she said, “since you seem to disapprove of Maggie’s storytelling, perhaps you should demonstrate how it is to be done right.”
Harlequin sputtered and choked on a bite of food. Once he managed to get his coughing under control, he stammered out, “Me? I don’t… Why not Trixie or Barnacle? They’re better at this sort of thing. I’m more of a shower than a teller.”
“You have to take your turn eventually Harlequin,” Maggie said, looking smug, “Why not get it over with now.”
“I was going to volunteer for the next tale,” Trixie said, picking up her drink cup and peering over the rim at Harlequin, “but I’m actually curious what you can come up with on the spot here.”
“Geez, you girls are harsh,” the acrobat moaned, “I was just being honest. Fine then, give me a minute to think.”
You guys are always on my case about wasting bits. I’ll admit I have a weakness for fine things and am terrible at haggling, but I can control my coin purse when it’s important. In fact, I once managed to secure lodging for a week in a town while only paying the price of about three nights.
“I’m sorry, but what?” Trixie interjected rudely, “Did you scam somepony?”
“Hey,” Harlequin shot back indignantly, “Did I interrupt Maggie while she was talking?” Trixie pulled back a bit from the table and dropped her gaze under the weight of the stares aimed at her from “Stella” and Barnacle as well as Harlequin.
“Now, where was I?” the acrobat pony mused.
This wasn’t all that long ago actually, maybe half a year back or more. The place was a town called Bull Run. I had stopped there expecting to find an opportunity to replenish my coins through either street-side tumbling or, more ideally, some troupe or company in need of an extra act or an eye-catcher, but on that first day I only had enough time to get a room for the night at a very nice, comfortable, and… yes, expensive hotel. It took nearly all of my savings to cover the bill, which only increased my drive to earn money the next day. I found a promising spot for street performing that day, but overestimated the generosity of the passersby and found myself lacking enough to pay for both dinner and a room that evening, and I’d forgotten to check out from the hotel, so I’d been put on the books for another night. I had a long, heated discussion with the hotel manager that ended with me getting to sleep there another night but being separated from my bits and obliged to clean and prep the room myself the following morning to make up the difference.
That did not sit well with me. I’m a performer, not a maid. I kept myself up planning how to get free of it, only to discover a simple escape the following morning: the manager was nowhere to be seen near the lobby and the mare at the reception desk apparently hadn’t been briefed on my status. I simply had to leave my room key with her and walk away.
I wasn’t anywhere near as successful at earning anything during that day, and although I should have taken that as a hint and moved on I stubbornly kept on until the sun started to sink and I found myself confronted with the problem of getting a room at that blasted hotel again. I would’ve gladly considered lesser accommodations, but that hotel seemed to be the only place in town with room at the time. The prospect of testing my ingenuity against the manager again was also a strong influence, I’ll admit. I figured the direct approach wouldn’t be wise, so instead I staked out the hotel until I located the window of a room that seemed like it would remain unoccupied for the evening, and then climbed up and snuck in through the window. I made sure to lock the door as tightly as I could so I’d have plenty of warning if anypony came by before I woke up.
My building climbing antics hadn’t gone unnoticed, although it took a few hours for the witnesses to convince hotel management of what they’d seen, so I managed to get a little sleep before they forced the door open and sicced security on me. I considered going out the way I’d come in, simply for the sake of a dramatic exit, but one look out the fourth-story window dissuaded me from that. I might know how to take a fall, but that was still too dangerous. Instead, I pulled a perfect double flip over the heads of the security ponies and made a break for it. I led a merry chase through the floors and nearly managed to win my freedom, only to be tackled in the homestretch less than an inch from the doors.
This time they made sure I stuck around to work off my debt. I spent the rest of the night and following day on janitor detail, mopping and sweeping the halls and dealing with the less pleasant tasks involved in getting the rooms looking shining, new, and like they’d never been slept in before. To make it all worse, I had security breathing down my neck almost the entire time, so everypony could easily guess what was going on.
Luck decided to extend me a little pity when it got close to noon. I was cleaning in the lobby when the filly at the front desk, who was supposed to be keeping an eye on me, decided I was worth trusting for a few minutes alone while she took a quick break. That by itself wasn’t an opening I felt like taking; I figured they’d bring in the cops to track me down if I just up and vanished. Not a minute after the desk filly left, though, an opportunity presented itself. I just so happened to have maneuvered myself behind the desk in a completely legitimate search for garbage to collect when a few ponies came down from the upper floors and dropped a set of room keys on the desk before heading out, clearly in too much of a hurry to pay any attention to little old me or make sure they were actually checked out of the hotel. I took a moment to contemplate the keys until I was struck with inspiration. I looked at the registry and saw that the keys were to two different rooms, and I took one of them for myself. I figured that so long as I played my cards right, I’d get one last free night out of the place without anypony being the wiser.
“Wait, wait a second,” Trixie said, looking suspiciously at Harlequin, “These ponies you were taking advantage of, do you remember anything about them?”
Harlequin pursed his lips in pensive thought. “Well, there were three of them,” he said, “but I wasn’t really paying close attention until I noticed the keys on the desk. I think I vaguely remember the name listed for the key I took. The desk clerk’s penmareship was pretty bad, but I think it was something like ‘T. Lukanoon.’”
“Lulamoon,” Trixie said reflexively, and then pounded the table and pointed a hoof at the acrobat and said, “So you were responsible for that!”
“Responsible for what?” Maggie asked.
Trixie fixed Harlequin with a grumpy look as she explained, “Six months back or so, shortly after I’d met Barnacle and Cabbage, the wagon broke an axle just outside Bull Run. We were lucky there was a cartwright in town, but the repair took until the next day to be completed so we had to get a couple of rooms at the hotel. When we tried to leave after the wagon was fixed we got stopped at the edge of town because the hotel had reported me as trying to leave without checking out properly. We, of course, denied the accusation and a search of the wagon failed to turn up the room key I was supposed to have absconded with. We lost practically the entire day, setting us even more behind schedule than before. The manager did strike me as acting unusually upset and belligerent over what was apparently a small clerical error. I guess I know why now.”
Harlequin gave a small, embarrassed laugh and a weak smile in reply. “Um, sorry about that then,” he said, “but who knows? Maybe if that hadn’t happened, we’d have never met each other when we did.”
“That’s seeming like a bit a stretch to me Quin,” Barnacle said, “but, what’s past is past. Twas’nt more than a slight inconvenience fer us in the long run.” Harlequin smiled thankfully at the grizzled pegasus.
“It seems to me,” Luna said, “That the greater dishonesty in this tale was never rectified. Unless you have more to tell Harlequin?”
Harlequin’s smile vanished and he dropped his gaze down to his plate.