//------------------------------// // (Tale #1)Too Many Celestias // Story: The Alchemist's Tales // by DVAN56 //------------------------------// Too Many Celestias I was in Canterlot that week. Normally things are, calmer, during my week up there but this was a rare event. Celestia had to leave for Manehattan for something or another, didn't pay attention to be honest, but it wasn't important to me either. Luna on the other hand, yes I said hand, wanted to do something that was potentially dangerous and Celestia would not approve of. So what better time to do it then when her sister was gone, and what better assistance then her favorite cross-dimensional Alchemist. That's right, I'm the Alchemist and I've adopted my title as my name as well when I came to Equestria. Though Ember is rare here then on my home world, my talents are still useful and do-able due to the odd property of Equestrian Ember being able to be recharged. As for why I'm in Canterlot, I study Ember and the effect of the magics natural to ponies have on it. I report my finding to Luna and Twilight Sparkle, it depends on weather I'm in Canterlot or Ponyville at the time. Anyway it was that morning that Celestia left that Luna woke me up. She doesn't wake me normally so I knew something was up, after I calmed down. Luna's methods of waking people(there are more then ponies here and old habits die hard if at all) are very cold. She knew my past and knew that twisting my dreams into a nightmare would not work on me, not for what I have seen and done. So she did the next best thing. She teleported me right into the pond in the royal garden then back into my room. That water is ice cold all the time. Celestia had it enchanted for some weird exotic fish that could only live in water that was just above freezing. Luna on the other hand used it as a wake-up device. At times I wonder if the Elements of Harmony got all of Nightmare Moon out of her. That was evil even for her. At least when she brought me back to my room she dropped me on the floor. After calming down and collecting myself on what just happened I turned to her, staring daggers at her. She knew I was angry with her yet she just shrugged like it was nothing. Hell if I was royalty with the power to move the moon I would brush me off too. “Luna why did you throw me in the pond?” I asked gritting my teeth while talking. “Well my faithful Alchemist. Today I need your help with a project, and I would like to start as soon as possible. Now get dressed and meet me in the science wing, room 12B” she said, straight faced. “Ok, so why did you throw me in the pond again?” “To wake you.” “Why didn't you try other less 'colder' ways first?” “I did, you would not wake. I tried shaking you, hitting you upside your head with my hoof. Nothing was working so I figured the pond would do the trick.” I wish I could say she was lying but she wasn't. I'm a very heavy sleeper to the point of almost nothing can wake me up. One of the side effects that came with Luna's cure for my Ember Blight. I even slept though one of Pinkie Pie's parties once. Word of advise, do not sleep through a Pinkie Party, her anger makes Ordrak look nice. Needless to say water that is border line freezing is the only thing that will wake me forcible from sleep that has been found so far. Dreams are still a maybe but I have yet to have a true nightmare. Anyway I got dressed, grabbed my Ember Gauntlet, and headed off to the science wing. I noticed a lot of guards missing from their posts. I was a little weirded out at the time. I had yet to discover that Celestia was actually gone at the time. The Castle was quite for once. It was both nice and a little creepy too. I got to room 12B and to my surprise the room was a mess. Table and chairs scattered all over the place. Magical components like crystals and what not were scattered over the floors and tables. No lab of any kind should be in this state. It made me wonder the nature of Luna's project. There was one small area that was somewhat clean but only because Luna was working on getting an area ready for her project. She had placed eight crystals on the floor, four of them were used to make a square on the floor, the other four to make a rectangle within the first square. “Ok Luna what are we doing” I asked. She jumped, she didn't realize I came in the room, which wasn't odd. Its so easy to sneak up on ponies when you have feet that don't clop with each step. “Ah, Alchemist. You got here a little quicker then I though. Did you skip breakfast?” “I always skip breakfast here. The morning chef can't make a decant meal for a human to save his life. Anyway what are we doing anyway?” “Well with my sister gone I wanted to try a world viewing spell to see parallel versions of Equestria. Celestia doesn't really allow them because they can create doorways between parallel worlds. And I really want to see how other versions of me are like.” I couldn't see the big deal about it but she really wanted to do this. As to why she needed me, the spell needs a ton of magic poured into it. So much that a single alicorn is not enough to power it. She needed my Ember as well as to not exhaust any of the unicorn staff that was still in the castle. I didn't have anything better to do today anyway other then get ready to go back to Ponyville tomorrow anyway. So the Ember has enough time to recharge before needing them again. After we finished the preparations we finally got to casting the spell. There was a quick flash of light, then the crystals formed an electrical blue like beam connecting each other. The four that were set as a rectangle began to rise into the air, stopping once they hit the ceiling. It formed a window, Luna had control over what we viewed. Her horned light up each time we changed worlds to view. The worlds we view was, well that is a story in itself. But the short version some were close to the same as our Equestria while, some were violet and war torn, and some where so crazy that "chaos" is the only way to describe them. One thing we noticed the most was how almost all the other Lunas spoke in a weird way. Using 'we' instead of 'I', and 'thou' instead of 'you'. It was like how old snobby nobles talked back home. We were ready to call it a day satisfied with our success on the viewing. I should have known better, nothing ever goes that smoothly for me. Fate was going to make sure it didn't either. Literally a second before Luna was getting ready to take down the viewing window there was a boom followed by the castle shaking and a rainbow shock wave in the sky. Dash and her sonic rainbooms!!! The shock wave from the rainboom caused one of the crystals to shift. The magical window cracked. That was a sight to see, the images being viewed were instantly gone leaving a transparent magical window full of cracks. The cracks started to move into a spinning vortex in the window. Before Luna and I could react there was another boom, but this one came from the window as it exploded. The magical energies that were released sent me and Luna back. When I came to I looked at the site where the window had been. My jaw dropped at the site. There were three white alicorns standing there staring at me and Luna. The first that was on the left of the group was the spitting image of Celestia. The one in the middle was much the same but instead of the pastel colored mane and tail that Celestia had, hers was gray with a little tint of pink in it. The last one on the left was, well the first and only stallion alicorn I’ve ever seen. He even had a beard! After a good minute of silently staring at each other the Celestia on the left broke the silence. “Human!” she said. All of a sudden her face grew an angry expression and her eyes lit into flames. Literal flame, it was freaking scary, and this is coming from a guy who has fought all kinds of monsters. Something then told me that I needed to run as fast as I could and get away from this. That thing being a blast of magic from the crazed Celestia. I took off like a bat out of hell. Running though the halls of the castle. The crazed Celestia following me. Turns out the guards taking the day off turned out to be a good thing. With the exception of her sudden blood lust you truly could not tell her apart from our Celestia. “Die human!” she shouted out as she shot a magic bolt at me. It missed as I ran down the halls of the castle. “OI! Stop shooting, your wrecking the place and I don't want Celestia getting mad at me!” I yelled back “I'm Celestia you filthy human!” “Ok true but not our Celest- ahhh” she hit me in the shoulder with her magic. Burned a little but I was still able to run and get away. After that the chase through the castle consisted of me running and Celestia shooting magic at me. Somewhere in the middle of me being chased I distinctly remember Philomena snicker at me. Stupid bird always hated me, thankfully she can regenerate so I get back at her every time Celestia isn't looking. An idea popped in my head. Maybe I could get this Celestia off my back by injuring the phoenix pest known as Philomena. I quickly unleash a few Ember Bolts from my gauntlet. They found their target with ease striking down that stubid bird. Unfortunately for me that Philomena was in a window and she fell back backwards. The crazed Celestia behind me didn't see what I shot at nor did she care. She was fix on me, darn. Shortly after that I realized that I wasn't going to be able to lose her long enough to hide. So I did something so crazy, so unreal that I still don't believe it happened, and I did it! I stopped and turned doing a quick turn facing the crazed Celestia and punched her in the face. However I punched with my gauntlet hand. As soon as I connected a blast of electricity came out with my punch. I didn't even realize what I did till after I punched her. We stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. In reality it was only four seconds. The fire in her eyes had died but she was still glaring daggers at me. The electricity from my gauntlet was now dancing over her body during that time. After the electric sparks died off her eyes rolled backed and she passed out on the floor. With crazy Celestia knocked out I decided that I best get her back to room 12B. Maybe Luna can keep her calm or restrained till we can figure out how to send her back to her own world. It also seems that this Celestia is as heavy as ours. Darn Celestia and her love of cake. I forgot how exhausting carrying Celestia across the castle can be. This wasn't the first time I had to do it, and knowing my luck it may not be the last. Anyway got back to the room to find Luna and the male Celestia neck deep in books trying to find out how to fix this mess. As I entered the room Luna turned to me and went wide eyed as she saw me carrying a knocked out Celestia. “What....but....how did you get her from killing you, did you drinking hard cider?” Luna asked. “I didn't” “What?” “Well I kinda punched her in the face.” “WHAT!” both Luna and the male Celestia said. “Hay don't judge me, she was trying to kill me!” I replied as I set the crazy Celestia down. “Yo, stallion Celestia...” “Solaris.” “What” “My name is Prince Solaris.” “Anyway. Can you make sure this crazed Celestia stays asleep till we can figure out how to send you guys home.” “Humm, since she is my double a sleep spell from me may keep her asleep.” After looking around the room I noticed that the third, gray maned Celestia was missing. This is not good. “Ummm, where did the gray maned Celestia go?” I asked Both Luna and Solaris both looked around the room. Then they both got an “o shit” look. It didn't take a genius to realize that they were so sucked into trying to find out how to fix the situation that they did not pay attention to the gray maned Celestia. I knew what they where going to ask, and before they said anything I was out the door. So I wandered around the castle for a while trying to find this gray maned Celestia. The castle was still for the most part quite and empty, yet for some reason I felt like I was being watched. I even looked behind my shoulder to see nothing. Still couldn't shake the feeling. As a came around a corner in one of the halls I bumped into a guard, which was odd for them taking the day off. But this guard was acting off. Most of the time they are like statue, void of emotions and ever vigilant. Yet this guard was shaking, scared as if something horrible just happened to him. Just imaging what would give these guard with willies is frighting enough but something that has them shaking in true fear. Something truly terrifying is roaming in this castle. “What has you scared?” I asked the guard trying to calm him down. “She....how could........she.....she....she” “Who” “Celestia.....bath house.......she....she was.....” This guard was clearly frightened. What could that gray maned Celestia have done? I mean she has god like powers like ours but what could she have done? The only way I'm going to find out was to find her. To the bath house it is. Only if I knew then what I know now. I got to the bath house and opened the door. I could now understand what happened to the guard. I had fought monsters and beasts of all shapes and sizes but this, this was just. I can't describe it, no thats a lie, I won't describe it. It was bad and the mental images still plague my mind, I will not afflict the readers as well. I quickly backed out of the bath house and slammed the door behind me. I fell back on the wall and clenched my head with my hands. How could she do that, why would she do that. No that creature no longer deserves the name Celestia, no she needs a new name to that bests describes her actions. That name, Molestia. I now faced a new challenge. Getting in there to ether subdue or convince Molestia to come peaceable, without getting more mental scaring. I thought that maybe blindfolding myself and hearing my way through might be good. Then I remembered that the sounds produced in there would still conjure up images in my mind. I also thought of Ember Phasing in and out grabbing her but I did not want to harm the poor guards still trapped in there. Plus my Ember was spent from that punch earlier. After running through my options, my choices were not looking good. In fact the only choices I had was to walk in there and get my mind burned with horrible images, or wait for her to come out. I knew what I had to do, and I wasn't going to like it. I went to the door ready to open it. “WAAAAAAAAA” the door opened slamming into my face. The gray maned molester was then in front of me. she let out a giggle at my pain. Then she started batting her eyelashes while staring at me, smiling. OH SHIT!!!! For the second time today I took off like a bat out of hell. At least this time I don't have to worry for my life, but I'll be damned before I let a pony princess molest me! So I ran. The whole time Molestia was shouting out things like “show me what a human body can do” and “come on we can have so much fun” in a sultry tone. It was more the sultry tone that worried me then what she was actually saying. I was half tempted to punch her like the first Celestia but quickly dismissed the idea. The last time was a fluke anyways with the Ember. Not only that but I can hear it now. The punch not knocking her out and her looking at me saying “naughty boy”. The thought made me shiver as I ran. I ran by the dinning rooms, yeah there is more then one, when I passed Solaris of all people, er ponies. A plan popped in my head as I remembered what he did to crazy Celestia to make sure she stayed knocked out. “Solaris, sleep spell, I'll be right back, have it ready!” I yelled as I passed him. I could only assume he was confused at first. I didn't really have the chance to see or hear his response. I just ran. I was hoping that Molestia would stop and try to hit on Solaris, being a male alicorn and all. I've seen more humans in Equestria then a male alicorns for pete's sake. For reasons I can only speculate, Molestia passed up Solaris and continued to chase me. So I ran the circle around the dinning rooms about three times before Solaris figured out what was going on. The fourth time around he finally got his sleep spell off. It knocked Molestia out cold, however she was still running after me so physics took over. She fell over face first and came to a screeching halt on the floor. Luckily nothing was broken on either her or our surroundings. “Solaris, not meaning to sound ungrateful but could you have been a little more, graceful, like catch her too?” “Sorry chap, but a sleep spell able to knock out me takes a lot. Well I need to finish my lunch. We found the proper spell and Luna is preparing it. I'll be up in a little bit.” “Nice.” I was getting ready to pick Molestia up when I remembered what she was doing before, in the bath house. I cringed a little, I did not want her body and my body making contact. So instead of picking her up as is. I went to the nearest window, tore the curtains off, and wrapped the curtains around Molestia's body. Now it felt safe to carrying her. Damn it just as heavy as the others. Again I got that feeling of being watched, and again nothing was there. This was the second time this has happened today. Something is watching me, following from the distance. It's doing a good job at staying hidden though. What could it be, I don't know but I intended to find out once I dropped Molestia off. I got back to room 12B, Luna had got everything set back up. It was very similar to the viewing spell with one difference, a ninth crystal in the center. Now all we need is Solaris and we can fire this spell up. Solaris came back a half-hour later. I was just a spectator here on out. My Ember was spent so Luna had to get the extra magic needed from Solaris. Luna tuned into their proper worlds, how I don't know still. First up was crazy Celestia, and Molestia. Luna and Solaris made me pick them up and throw them through. Solaris was the last to go through. We finally got things back to normal. I gathered up my Ember and was going to go back to my room. It was already past noon and I needed to get my stuff together so I can catch the morning train. Fate on the other hand had one more crazy ass curve ball to throw at me, lucky for me it was also thrown at Luna too. I had just finished up and ready to leave room 12B when there was a bright flash of light. I turned to see an angry Celestia, our Celestia. What is she doing back so soon, better yet why, there is no way she could have known about Luna's spell. She cocks her head towards Luna before speaking. “Sister, you have had a busy day it seems. But there are still things you overlooked.” Celestia spoke as she levitated a, newspaper? Yeah a newspaper, and throws it at us. “There is a reason I created a paparazzi shield for the castle, and you forgot about it.” The newspaper before us was unreal. “HUMAN STRIKES CELESTIA!” was the headlines. Below it was a picture of me hitting the crazed Celestia. If I was in my home world I would have been questioning this, but there are powers in Equestria that is best left alone. So that was that feeling of being watched. So to wrap this tale up. Luna got grounded to the moon for two days. Temporary banishment spell, she was going to use it on me too, but it would have killed me. I got two days in the dungeon. Contrary to popular believe the dungeon was actually very creepy. Thankfully they are not used very often . However if we were going down we were not going down alone. Rainbow Dash can now only perform Sonic Rainbooms between 2p.m – 8p.m by royal decree. Luna played it as “it is to prevent something like this from happening again” in reality she was the same as me. Making sure everyone that was involved got some sort of punishment. Last but not least, the poor guards that were hit by Molestia. They never truly recovered. To this day they still have nightmares about that day. I can't say that I blame them though. Now to plot my revenge on the paparazzi.