The wizard leaned against the outside of the town hall, sweat running down his face and dripping off his snout. What he'd heard and felt in the mill had unsettled him, and that he was so easily unsettled unsettled him all the more. Earlier today, he felt so calm, collected, in control, yet he'd completely gone to pieces at the thought of Mareco. Tomorrow, he promised himself, he would meditate until he had purged these emotions. He hated to postpone his attempt to draw out the stallion lurking in the forest, but if his own inner weakness severed his connection to the Harmony, it wouldn't do anypony any good.
The stallion was connected to the Harmony, same as he was, although the stallion was connected backwards. The stallion drew strength from destroying what Starswirl was trying to create, and vice versa.
Tomorrow, then, he thought adamantly. Meditation, first thing.
"Well, look at you," Orrin Tin drawled as he meandered over. "High and mighty unicorn sweating because of a little run back and forth."
Starswirl tried to summon up the attribute of Merriment inside himself, but found it very hard to think of something to say. He reached out with the Harmony, only to notice that his connection was, indeed, weaker than it usually was.
Mustn't panic, he thought. Do not let your fears undo you, or all is lost. Calm, Starswirl. Rational. See the issue with an open eye.
"What, you ain't got no smart crack to make?" Orrin Tin asked. "Where's that smile, huh?"
"I have no quarrel with you, Orrin Tin."
Orrin rushed forward and pinned him against the wall; Starswirl barely managed to keep the kettle and pouch of tea leaves hovering in the air.
"I got a problem with you, unicorn. Before me, there weren't no such thing as Hollowed Ground. All this was farmland and forest. Now, we've got four hundred ponies living here because of me, and I'm fixing for that number to keep growing, you hear me?"
Starswirl tried to put himself inside Orrin's head and puzzle out the reasoning behind his actions, but he found it difficult to focus on the other pony, or on anything else.
Tin narrowed his eyes and shoved Starswirl against the wall harder. "I made this town with my own two hooves. The only reason I ain't called it 'Orrwich' or 'Tinchester' is a'cause I'm humble."
"Yes, I can see that," Starswirl said, his voice slightly bitter.
No, no, no, don't give in to spite. Like a mantra, he recited to himself: Honesty, Fidelity, Generosity, Merriment, Loving-Kindness.
"Yes, humble," Orrin Tin spat. "Unlike you unicorns, who swan into town and dazzle the folks with your magic tricks. You may have got some of the more gullible of us swindled, but earth ponies ain't fools."
"I never said you were."
"Don't you try and con me. I know what this is. You're just jealous a lowly earth pony could make all this, ain't you? You unicorns don't like the competition. You can't stand we don't need you and your ways. So's you want to steal ours away from us and become masters of everything."
"And that poor unicorn foal?" Starswirl asked; to his barely-contained dismay, he felt a touch of righteous anger in his voice. "Was she stealing your ways away from you?"
"Unicorn foal? You mean Dew Harvest's daughter?"
Starswirl felt a hint of spiteful satisfaction towards the earth pony for providing him with that clue, then again tried to clear his mind and purge it of toxic emotions.
Orrin Tin twitched. "She was....going round....had no respect for the community!"
"And what about her foal?"
The earth pony's face twisted as his scowled deepened. "Someone's been telling you tales. Was it that crackpot father of hers? Or the miller, always sticking his snout where it don't belong?" He let go of Starswirl and spat, "I don't have to explain myself to a unicorn."
As Orrin Tin turned and walked away from the town hall, Starswirl thought, One day, you might wish to revise that statement.
When Starswirl reentered the town hall, it was only half as full as it had been with earth ponies transfixed by the pendulum. He trotted over to the bench, where a snoring Clover lay slumped on the bench next to his notebook. Her father lay across from her, smoothing out her hair and gazing longingly down at his young filly with regret in his eye.
"Asleep already?" Starswirl asked. He leaned over to check his ticking pocket clock. "It's only....eight."
"I guess she ain't slept much. I suppose sneaking out into the forest at night will do that to a pony."
Starswirl magicked the notebook into the air to check her calculations. Apparently, Carmine had taken over for her, as the last entry was written in radically different and much neater writing.
"Did you find out what you were aiming to with this experiment?" Carmine asked.
"I'm well on my way, thanks to Clover. I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to fix that fence."
"That's alright. I don't care much about the fence." He stroked Clover's ear, making her fidget in her sleep. "Where's the tea?"
Starswirl laid the hot kettle down on the bench, then the pouch. "Er, I managed to get the kettle here undamaged, but I'm afraid the same could not be said of your cups. Unfortunately, I broke three of them when I, ahem, tripped. I really must apologize--"
"That's alright," Carmine said. "It happens."
"I didn't wish to wreck yet more havoc with your possessions, so I left the rest of your cups where they were. Are there perhaps some here? Perhaps made of stouter stuff than ceramic?"
"Uh, maybe the Apples have some. Try asking them. I watched Clover while she was working, so's I can look after your calculating, if'n you're worried about that."
Starswirl trotted through the sparse crowd until he spotted Brandy talking to Prunella.
"Excuse me, Miss....ahem, Brandy," he said. "I was wondering if perhaps I could borrow several mugs?"
"Oh, ask Jack. He's over at the tavern, taking over for Rum Runner."
"Rum?"
"Yeah, Rum. You know, peculiar-like. Just what in the hay were you thinking of?"
"Oh, nothing," Starswirl said. He turned to go, then twirled around and faced her again. "What, precisely, drove this pony's parents to name him 'Rum'?"
"His real name is Roaming," Prunella Keene said, "but everypony calls him 'rum' because he's just so dang...."
Starswirl ventured, "Peculiar?"
"Sure as sugar," Brandy said. "But he does a well enough job round the Cider Horse, so's we don't mind."
"Can I....help you?"
Starswirl smiled at the pony behind the Cider Horse's bar, a speckled draft pony at least fifteen years younger than himself whose wide, baggy, bulging eyes and constantly downturned mouth gave him the appearance of an ever-vigilant owl. His intense stare had bored down on Starswirl ever since the moment the wizard put his hoof into the tavern, and hadn't once let up. Starswirl didn't think he'd seen the pony blink, let alone look away.
"Yes," the wizard said, "I would like to speak to Jack Apple."
Still staring intently, Rum Runner pursed his lips and paused for at least two seconds before replying, "He ain't here."
"Hm, that's odd. I was told he would be here."
Rum Runner slowly swung his head from side to side, his wide eyes still fixed on Starswirl. "Don't know what to tell you."
"My horoscope, perhaps?" Starswirl chuckled, relieved to finally be feeling like he was in control of himself again. "I'm in need of some luck, and I believe Jupiter is on the ascent...."
The earth pony leaned over the counter and whispered, "I don't do....magic."
Starswirl winked. "My friend, you should never sell your bartending skills short."
Rum Runner kept his gums sealed shut and his eyes wide open, staring intently at Starswirl like he could bore through the wizard's skull and into his brain. At least, that is, until the door opened and they both turned to see Jack Apple enter, straining himself under the weight of a cider cask. Starswirl immediately strode forward and used his magic to ease the burden. Jack Apple stared in confusion at the floating barrel, at least until he glanced over and saw the unicorn. Several bar patrons cast dirty looks in Starswirl's direction as the aura-clad cask passed by their tables.
"No wonder the townfolk are all a'scared a'you," he said, raising an eyebrow. "You might put us all out a'work."
"Oh, I'm sorry," Starswirl said, "would you have preferred to carry it?"
"Makes for good exercise, but thanks all the same. Rum Runner, that keg over on the end is getting mighty empty. Why dontcha roll that one outside, you hear?"
Rum Runner nodded, shuffled around, and got to work dislodging the end barrel from the row of wooden barrels on the stand running behind the bar. Once he rolled the empty one off the stand, Starswirl levitated the fresh one over the counter, twirled it until its lid faced him, and dropped it easily and gently into place.
"So what're you doing here, Starswirl?" Jack asked as he walked behind the counter. "Thought you'd be over at town hall, keeping an eye on that there experiment you're running."
Rum Runner nosed the empty barrel towards the door; its empty frame rumbled hollowly as it bounced over the mismatched floorboards.
"Ah, yes," Starswirl said, "I asked your wife if I could perhaps borrow two mugs, and she directed me over here."
Jack Apple ducked behind the counter, then popped back up and laid two empty mugs on the counter.
"There you go."
As Starswirl magicked them into the air, he said, "Thank you very much. I'll return these as soon as possible."
"Ain't a problem in the world. Take care."
As Starswirl went to exit through the tavern's front door, he met Brandy coming in at the same time.
"Had enough of the wonders of natural philosophy?" he asked.
"Aw, shucks, it ain't that. We's gots to get ready, a'cause Saturday night is a busy one. Ponies spend all day getting their private affairs in order, then they want to stroll on in and relax, you hear?"
"Ah, I see. Well, natural philosophy does not march on unless we ponies march with it, so I must bid you good-bye, and thanks again for the mugs."
As Starswirl crossed the grass, he reflected on how much better he felt. It was the nightmare, he told himself. That nightmare had temporarily thrown him for a loop, rattled him by filling his head with long-dead fears. He couldn't say why it had done that just yet, but it was a question he intended to put to rest tomorrow.
He tested his connection to the Harmony. It felt somewhat better--
He jumped as he felt a faint presence mere feet away, so dim he scarcely noticed it. Startled, he turned to it and called, "Hello?"
Starswirl glimpsed Rum Runner's wide eyes glinting in the moonlight the instant before the pony himself stepped out of the tavern's shadow.
As he attempted to quell his beating heard, Starswirl cheerfully asked, "All finished, Roaming?"
Rum Runner stared at him wordlessly. After another pause, he answered, "Ain't nopony called me Roaming in a long while."
Starswirl was getting nothing from him, other than he was there; his emotions radiated from him about as much as they revealed themselves on his face.
"Do you....prefer to be called Rum?" Starswirl asked cautiously.
As the earth pony abruptly walked away, still radiating no discernible emotions, he mumbled, "I guess."
Starswirl scratched behind his ear as he watched the other pony melt into the night.
You can do this, Starswirl. Just walk in there, perform scientific calculation, and let go of Mareco Polo. Push her out of your mind, alright?
But as he walked through the nearly empty town hall and approached Carmine, he saw what was in the stallion's hoof and knew it wasn't alright just yet.
"Wherever I shall roam," Carmine read, "I know you'll guide me home. I found this under Clover's hoof. I thought it was another watch at first. It's a real nice compass."
"Yes, yes it is."
"Where'd you get it?"
"I....ahem, it was a gift."
Carmine's eyes lazily rolled up to behold Starswirl as the wizard set the mugs down, poured some tea leaves into them, lifted the still-hot kettle into the air with his magic, and poured its contents out. Steam rose into the air in aromatic whiffs. Starswirl breathed deep and let the scent fill his lungs.
"So, Carmine," he said as he magically gave a mug over. "What do you think of the experiment?"
Carmine shook his head as he drank, then stated, "I was never much for science."
"Really? Not even slightly? You had no curiosity about natural philosophy?"
The Roanan tilted his head in uncertainty. "Sure I could've had, but it always seemed there was a more important thing I should be getting on with. I couldn't worry about stuff such as the earth's rotation, not unless...."
Starswirl sipped his tea and, in a playful and mock affronted tone, asked, "What could be more important than the secrets and wonders of the world around you?"
The wizard felt the uncertainty and apprehension writhing within Carmine and driving him to misery, but Starswirl still goaded him on, of course, because perhaps getting the emotions out would free the gray stallion from his burden.
"I was a mechanic," Carmine said finally, gazing down at the sleeping filly next to him. "I built things."
"Ah, yes. I noticed that the mill was quite a technical marvel."
"Heh. The reason I ain't never had time for stars is because it seemed like Roan was under siege at least once a year. That has a way of giving a pony perspective."
"I would imagine so."
"I built machines for the Commune. Not just defensive machines, whole engineering projects. By the city's....end, most of the defenses on the walls and in them too were my designs. I figured out how to smuggle supplies in and out through the waterways and break the sieges. I told--"
He sucked in a breath and winced, then took a long, hard swig of the scalding hot tea.
"....I told the Commune the walls of Roan would never fall so long as my machines were in them."
Starswirl said nothing and sipped his tea. If Carmine wanted to continue, he would; if he didn't, Starswirl prodding him would most likely push the Roanan in the opposite direction.
Carmine nearly started sobbing, but overcame himself and continued, "Because of me, the Commune fell."
"I'm sure you did the very best you could do with the tools you had."
Fighting back tears, Carmine whipped his head around to look at Starswirl. The guilt of failure and self-betrayal came off the Roanan in waves.
Deep down, does he want, nay, need to be hated, as a sort of self-inflicted punishment for his failure? Does his deeper mind secretly relish the thought of being surrounded by earth ponies who despise him?
Carmine said, "If'n it hadn't been for me--"
"Everypony prefers to think the world revolves around them," Starswirl said, "even when they have the noblest of intentions. They prefer to think the fate of towns, or even entire cities hinges entirely on their actions. I'm sure it was infinitely more complicated than you make it out to be, you're only--"
"I'm what?" Carmine said ferociously.
Ah, so why I try and remove what he clings to as a means of punishing himself, he becomes defensive and angry to protect it. This is the behavior of a pony who is not ready to forgive himself just yet.
"I apologize," Starswirl said. "I was only trying to alleviate your....situation."
Carmine nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry too. It just hurts, you know? The past."
All too aware of the irony, Starswirl said, "It only hurts us if we let it."
With tears still lurking in the corners of his eyes, Carmine gazed at Clover and said, "I did so much for my little filly...."
THWIP!
Both Starswirl and Carmine jumped at the noise, so loud in the now-empty town hall. Their heads snapped up and went to the sound, only to find it was just the pendulum knocking over one of the thin wooden blocks. Starswirl glanced at the pocket clock, levitated his notebook over, and jotted the time down.
Carmine finished off his tea in one long gulp. His eyes watering, he swallowed it and said, "Well, I'd better get this little filly home and put to bed."
Starswirl nodded in agreement and willed himself not to feel disappointed. "You should get some rest too. Have no fear, I'll keep watch over the experiment."
Carmine magically levitated his filly into the air and onto his back, then ambled towards the doors. "Don't stay out too late, Starswirl," he said, glancing back and grinning. "They say there are unicorns about."
"Yes, I shall try and keep that in mind, Carmine, thank you."