//------------------------------// // Chapter 16: Lesson Protos // Story: Of Archon Toilets and Bioballs // by MiniPsyker //------------------------------// "I am Executor Kra'Ser, of the templar, as most of you might know already." Kra'Ser presented himself once things calmed down a day later in Twilight's home, with Spike, Twilight and the rest of her friends paying attention. Mike was also listening, but only that, since he was also watching TV laying on a couch. Nobody questioned what was a TV, how it got there, how it received signal, let alone even work seeing as there was no electricity. "So how did you get here?" Mike asked, changing channels with his remote. "The last thing I remember is being trapped in a Vortex when I was fighting against another Protoss force. After that, my opponent dropped and I ended up in this weird place. I arrived in a land far away so I decided to find out a way to return. These lands had minerals and geysers, and I started with a Nexus and six probes, so I decided to start preparing. After a bit of scouting I saw your forces fighting against the grey ones." "Why did you decide to fight against the grey ones and join my side to begin with?" "They shot me in the face. Luckily my shield protected me." "You seemed to have arrived right when Discord casted that spell after dodging the first time the ponies attempted to shoot him down with the same thing they threw into your Vortex, according to your words." Mike remarked. "A word of advice, though: You're now stuck in a medieval society succesfully managed by talking pastel coloured mini-horses, some with wings, and others with horns, controlled by other two horses--" "Ponies..." Twilight interrupted. "--Ponies with both wings and horns, with the economy being focused mostly on apples. Anything you see is pretty damn common, even... Uhhh... Let me think of an example..." "A flying reality-warping mashup of animals?" Spike suggested. "Isn't that Q from Star-Trek?" "What?" "Nevermind. Anyways, you heard the mini-dragon, Templar." "I see..." The Templar nodded while reading a book, completely oblivious of what Mike said. "Are you even listening to me?!" He questioned while violently turning around. "--You said something?" The Templar asked. "AAAAAGH!!!" Mike screamed to the sky while holding his head out of pure rage. "Ah, I forgot to mention, I hope you're not bothered but I stole a few of your bases to fuel my army." "YOU SON OF A--" "Give me a reason not to shoot you and retake this base." Mike asked Kra'Ser, both walking through a Protoss base in the outskirts of Ponyville. From their place they could see probes mining, the Nexus creating more probes, and several gateways turning into Warp gates. "Because I saved you from the grey ones." Kra'Ser answered without much enthusiasm. Mike sighed in annoyance. "Fine, fine..." "I find the lack of a cap for the number of units interesting..." "That was my reaction at first too. It's kind of a miracle we don't have any Zerg around here." But suddenly, they could hear a whistle in the sky. They both looked at the source of the noise and spotted it immediately: In the sky, a nuke was spiraling out of control just at their direction. Mike and Kra'Ser stood still for a moment, like a deer about to get hit by a car, but after regaining their senses they began running away while screaming. Previously... "I got it..." A ghost whispered to himself while designating a barn with his laser for a nuke to be dropped there. In the distance a nuke being launched from a ghost academy was seen, and was now arcing towards the barn. "Ghost, stop!!" Twilight yelled all of a sudden, stopping the nuke that was almost on its target with her magic then throwing it away as if it was a crumbled paper ball. "Listen, Ghost. I know you're upset with Applejack, but don't worry. Whatever it is that has come between you two, I'm sure that I, as a good friend, can help you resolve your problems." "Uhhh..." The Ghost worried, seeing the nuke spiraling out of control after Twilight changed its course and exploding in the distance, probably where one of Kra'Ser's bases was. Afterly... "You just nuked one of my bases!!" Kra'Ser argued with Mike while walking through Ponyville. "Hey, I didn't order a nuke to be dropped there!!" "Then what just happened?!" "As if I'd know!! Did you even see a red marker!?" "...Oh wow, now that you say that..." Kra'Ser realized that there was no red marker in his base before the nuke hit, and there was no 'nuclear launch detected' warning either. "Outta ma way crackas!!" A marauder yelled right before striking through them like a bowling ball and rushing to the limits of Ponyville. Mike and Kra'Ser were struck to the ground. "Okay, I didn't order that either..." Mike grunted while standing up. "I'd better check out what's going on. You in?" "I'll stick around." "...What?" Kra'Ser questioned himself upon spotting more than a dozen ponies, a marauder, and three marines chasing a doll. "A doll? Is that some sort of valuable thing around these parts?" Mike asked himself. Then, he narrowed his eyes to see better the doll, trying to figure out what was so special about it. Then it struck him, the spell that it had been enchanted with. "It's just a doll. I'm heading back to-- ...Mike?" Kra'Ser asked, but Mike had disappeared. Then he realized that Mike had gone to chase the doll too. "What's wrong with these people...?" He asked himself while scratching his head. Big Mac had the doll, running away but ultimately being caught in a big bad moshpit of ponies who piled up upon him. But on top of the pile, Mike himself came out, holding the door in his hand and a gun on the other, shooting at the ponies while standing on top of the pile. Of course this didn't work at all due to the can't-damage-what's-not-from-your-universe thing. "Stand back!!" Mike yelled as the ponies climbed towards him. "Gimme!!" Mayor Mare said while trying to grab the doll from Mike's hands. "Piss off!" Mike struck her with the back of his gun, sending her back. However, she had successfully grabbed the doll, flying back with her. "Get back here you little son of a--!!" He yelled, jumping from the pile and now beginning chase against Mayor Mare. "Run like the wind, bullseye!!" Mike yelled while waving his gun in the air and pointing at Mayor Mare, while riding a random pony. However, a peagsus had stolen the doll from Mayor Mare, now flying in the sky and fighting with another pegasus for control of the doll. Mike stood on top of the pony and jumped into the sky, successfully clinging to another pegasus that was flying and taking control of it. Bellerophon would be proud. He gathered speed and struck right between the two fighting pegasus, knocking them away and grabbing the doll. However, more and more ponies began chasing after him. "Don't look at it!" Twilight rushed to Rainbow Dash and shut her eyes who was looking at Mike and the doll flying around. "Don't look at what?" Rarity questioned, before her eyes being shut too. "My Smarty Pants doll! I enchanted her and now everypony is fighting over her!" "Why would you enchant your doll?" Fluttershy questioned, now with the sky being covered in a gunfight between pegasi and Terran vikings and wraiths, all fighting for control of the doll. Such scenery looked like something out of the Ace Combat series. "Oh, I had to do something! I had nothing to report to Princess Celestia! I thought if I couldn't find a problem, I'd make a problem! The day is almost over!" "...Not almost." Applejack stated. "Fly into the sunset, my loyal steed!!" Mike ordered while standing on the pegasus. "Twilight Sparkle!" Celestia, who arrived in a blinding light in the sky, said with anger. "Whoa nelly." Applejack mentioned. "I CAN'T SEE SHI--" Mike yelled, both him and the pegasus he was riding on being blinded by the light and accidentally striking against it. The pegasus, Mike and Celestia were sent flying. Mike and the pegasus landed on the ground headfirst, but Celestia was caught by a Protoss Phoenix's graviton beam, leaving her on the ground unharmed. "So you're 'Celestia'...?" Kra'Ser questioned while walking up to her. Celestia had known about Kra'Ser, but not the other way around. He turned around and walked up to the doll that was lying on the ground, then he picked it up and stared at it, not understanding what was so special about it. It seemed that the Khala made him immune to the enchantment. Mike stood up and charged against him, only to be hit in the face by a Force Field casted by a Protoss Sentry, who stood near him. He tried running around it, only to be hit in the face with another Force Field. The sentry stood there watching him, as if it was taunting him with its mere presence. Mike tried confusing the sentry by quickly moving one way and the other, trying to make it cast the Force Field again and make it waste its energy. It succeeded, and Mike now ran around the four Force Fields to charge against Kra'Ser, only to be met with yet another one. Two more sentries had appeared and another sentry was warping in thanks to a warp prism deployed to allow the Warp gate in the protoss base to warp in more as needed. "Thanks, Kra'Ser." Celestia now focused her energy and casted a spell to revert what the doll had done. Eventually, all who were affected returned to their normal selves, yet holding all memories of what happened. "Well, that was... Fun..." Mike mentioned, lacking better words for what just happened as he shook his head. Every pony, realizing what happened, walked away, as if silently agreeing never to speak of this again. The Terran forces returned to base, seeing as they were not needed anymore. "Meet me in the library." Celestia order Twilight before flying away. "...Goodbye girls." Twilight said, already accepting defeat. "If you care to visit, I'll be in magic kindergarten, back in Canterlot." "Magic kindergarten?" Fluttershy questioned. "Canterlot?" Rainbow Dash added. "Visit?" Mike asked. "We're never gonna see Twilight again!" Pinkie Pie despaired. "Uh, What are we gonna do, y'all?" Applejack asked. "...But...but..." Twilight spoke with Celestia in the library. "I'm supposed to send you a letter about friendship every week. I missed the deadline. I'm a bad student! I'm... tardy!" "You are a wonderful student, Twilight. I don't have to get a letter every week to know that." Celestia reassured her. "Really?" She asked in disbelief. "For the Emperor!!" A voice screamed tremendously loud right before both Terran and Protoss forces broke through the walls, ceiling, and floor into the library and surrounded Celestia. Zealots, Stalkers, Marines, Marauders, Vikings, and even a Fabulous Archon back from the vortex incident with Discord. She was now held at gunpoint, bladepoint, psionicpoint, gatlingunpoint, etc. "Over my dead hands you're going to take her." Mike stated, his gun pointed at her. "Do not make a decision you'll regret, 'Princess'." Kra'Ser warned her, ready to cast Feedback on her to prevent her from casting any spell at all. "I'm listening..." Celestia spoke, retaining her composure and wishing to see how they reacted. Both Kra'Ser and Mike were speechless. They didn't come up with anything, just the good ol' fashioned 'charge in and hold at whatever-weapon-is-being-used-point until cooperation is achieved'. "Please, your highness. We all saw that Twilight was upset..." Fluttershy spoke up. "...but we thought that the thing she was worrying about wasn't worth worrying about." Rainbow Dash added. "As Twilight's good friends, we should have taken her feelings seriously and been there for her!" Rarity continued. "Please don't take her away from us just because we were too insensitive to help her." Fluttershy said. "Anyone knows who nuked my base?" Kra'Ser took the opportunity to ask. Just like Mike several times before, he was ignored. "Looks like you all learned a pretty valuable lesson today." Celestia spoke. "Very well. I'll forget Twilight's 'punishment' on one condition. From this day forth, I would like you all to report to me your findings on the magic of friendship, when, and only when, you happen to discover them." "Friendship?" Both Mike and Kra'Ser asked in unison. "Really? What are you, gay?" Fortunately they were ignored. Hell knows what would have happened if Celestia or the others had listened. "So... What do we do now?" Mike asked, seeing as there were hundreds of Protoss and Terran units cramped in the tiny libreary. Not before long, a barracks crashed into the building, just like in the Ancient Castle in the fight against Nightmare Moon, and started flashing lights characteristic of a Terran building creating units. Not only that, music with heavy bass also blasted. It could be said the barracks was now a makeshift disco ball, or cube in this case. "Party in the library!!" A voice from inside the barracks yelled. "Princess Celestia, wait!" Twilight ran up to Celestia in the balcony. "How did you know I was in trouble?" "Your friend Spike made me aware that you were letting your fears get the best of you. I commend him for taking your feelings seriously." At this point Twilight's friends showed up to see her. It was unknown how the floor supported their weight, seeing as at this point even a feather would cause the entire library to crumble upon itself due to the damage. "And it's not that hard to see a small Terran war in the skies from the castle. Now, if you will all excuse me, I must return to Canterlot. I'm expecting some mail." "Y'all heard the Princess. Spike, take a letter." Applejack said. Dear Princess Celestia, we're writin' to you because today we all learned a little somethin' about friendship. We learned that you should take your friends' worries seriously. Even if you don't think that she has anything to worry about. And that you shouldn't let your worries turn a small problem... ...into an enormously huge entire-town-in-total-chaos Princess-has-to-come-and-save-the-day problem. Of course, the Terrans saved the day this time. No, the Protoss did. Terrans! Protoss! Mike! Kra'Ser!! Get out of this letter!!