Princess Celestia and the Laser Pointer
Note: Here’s a simple one-off story that I thought of a week ago, and have been dying to put into word.
Sunshine basked the towers of Canterlot Castle, bringing in the afternoon from the sunny morning. Guards and workers walked throughout the castle performing their daily tasks of housekeeping or keeping guard of secure areas. It was another typical day, and the princesses had left their thrones to wander around the castle.
A Pegasus guard stood near the empty throne, letting out a slight yawn as his belly rumbled. He peered past the podium and saw a Unicorn guard standing by. He cleared his throat and got the Unicorn’s attention. “Listen, I’m gonna get some coffee, do you want anything?”
The Unicorn thought for a moment and replied, “Yeah, I’ll have a coffee. I’ll keep watch while you’re away.”
The Pegasus nodded and walked off. “Thanks, man.”
He walked down the carpet, past the array of fountains and plants to the doorway. He took a left and walked out an archway and into a garden path, a canopy over the walkway. He walked into the Hall of Elements and gazed at the stained glass windows, showcasing world-saving events.
He walked down the path and took another left, and passed a room, catching a glimpse of Princess Celestia leaning down, wiggling her rump in the air. With a double-take, he walked backwards to the room and walked inside.
He stood beside Princess Celestia, who had lowered into a pouncing position and stared at the floor. The guard looked back at her becoming slightly confused. “Excuse me, Princess.”
The princess shushed him, crawling very slowly to the wall in front of her, still in her pounce positon. The guard walked to her again and asked, “Princess?”
She looked at him curiously, as if she wanted to continue her search. The guard stared at her in confusion, looking at the wall. “What are you doing exactly?”
She looked back at the floor again. “I’m looking for something.”
“May I ask what?”
“It was a little, uh... I don’t know what it is.”
“Then, why are you looking for it?”
“I’m not sure.”
She stood up and stretched her neck, walking out the room with the guard. “I think it’s gone now, so I’ll be heading back to the throne room if you—“
She turned her head back to him and saw a red dot in the corner behind him, her eyes glistening with excitement. She crouched again and dashed for the dot. “There it is!”
She barged past the guard, knocking him to his hooves and chased the dot around the room, jumping up to try and catch it as it climbed the walls, forgetting that she could fly. “Wait, don’t you try and escape from me, you little thing. I only want to—“
The dot left the wall and headed out of the room, prompting Celestia to give chase. “Hey, don’t run away, come back here!” She ran out of the room, the guard lifting himself to his feet as he felt for his helmet, knocked off by the princess.
He looked at the doorway, hearing Celestia clamber out into the hallway, and brushed himself off. “I had no idea what just happened, but I’ve got to find out.” He put his helmet back on and ran for Celestia.
Celestia ran through the hallways, chasing this red dot down the path as she unknowingly barged past housemaids and cooks, who were passing by, knocking trays of food and tea out of their grasp. The dot dashed into the kitchen, Celestia stopping as she walked inside.
She looked around the kitchen, filled with chefs and waiters of all sorts, the room bustling with voices. She moaned and thought, “Oh, it could be anywhere by now. Might as well look for it.”
She crouched down and crawled beside the side of the middle table, nudging chefs with her rear. “Sorry, excuse me, beg your pardon.” She said as she nudged chefs, distracting them as they watched their princess crawl in front of them.
She stopped at a chef icing a cake and saw the dot make an escape out the other door. She stood up quickly and ran out the door, hitting the chef with her rear and causing the chef to spray icing on his co-workers and also himself. “Found you, now get back here, you naughty little dot!”
The chef stared at his icing covered co-workers and sighed, “Is it me, or is this job starting to make me realise that I should have stuck with painting, like mother wanted?”
Celestia walked into the dining hall, a maid polishing the table with a cloth. Celestia walked slowly towards the table and saw the dot make a break down the table. She leapt up to the table and misjudged how slippery the polish had made it and skidded down the table. She sped past the maid, who had jumped back when she noticed the large Alicorn speed down the table, and crashed into the wall in front of her, sending her into a daze.
The maid ran to her and helped her to her hooves. “Princess, are you alright?!”
Celestia stumbled to her hooves and replied, “I’m fine, thank you, my dear maid.”
“What were you thinking jumping on the table like that?!”
“I apologise, but I was in the pursuit of a little dot crawling across the table.”
The maid looked at the table and said, “Well, all I can see are scratch marks from your hoof plates.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. You must have spent ages working on that. There should be some varnish to cover that up in the supply cupboard.”
She looked at the garden door and saw the dot escape again, “Hey, you get back here!” She yelled, forcing her to give chase as she ran outside. The maid watched her run outside and sighed in annoyance.
The guard barged into the kitchen and ran past the chefs, unknowingly nudging more chefs and barging into the same chef icing a cake and accidentally barging him and falling face first into his cake. He lifted his head and looked at the destroyed cake, sighing as he grabbed a large clump of cake and ate it.
The guard ran into the dining hall and ran to the maid, “Excuse me, have you seen Celestia?”
The maid pointed to the garden, “Yes, she ran into the gardens.”
The guard ran into the gardens and tried to look for Celestia.
Celestia looked around the garden, gazing at the fountains, plants and furniture to see if the dot was there. She saw the dot escape into a bush and ran towards it, jumping inside. She fumbled around in the bush and poked her head out, looking for the dot. She found the dot again as it scattered down the grassy path as Celestia hopped out of the bush, running after it.
A gardener stood in front of the hedge maze entrance, using magic to trim a shape of the princess from one of the hedges. He was busy working when he saw the dot in front of him. While looking at it, he heard a battle cry as he turned to see her princess leap at him, causing him to scream in terror. The two collided into each other as they tumbled to the ground.
The gardener shook his head and stood up, helping the princess to her hooves. He looked at the hedge model of the princess, and yelled in horror as she saw it was headless. The princess looked at the hedge and gasped in shock, “Oh, goodness. I am so sorry; I didn’t mean to do that.”
The gardener looked at her and replied, “It took me nine hours to finish that, and now look at it.” He sat on the grass, starting to cry after losing his work. The princess looked at him with guilt and leant down to him, giving him a hug. He nodded and replied, "Thank you, I think I can try again."
Celestia saw the dot zip past and crouched to chase it again. “Oh, there’s no need to thank me. I’m always here to help those in need.” She dashed off again, leaving the gardener satisfied after her nice gesture.
Celestia stopped by the ponds as she looked around the ponds and fountains. She walked down the path to the large Canterlot Fountain with two statues of Celestia and Luna adorning the end of the fountain. She looked down and saw the dot at the fountain floor about fifteen feet down. “Ah ha, you may hide down there, but I will get you.” She said as she removed her crown, taking a breath before she jumped in, not before two guards saw her dive into the fountain and watch in bewilderment.
Celestia swam to the bottom of the fountain, feeling the freezing cold water brush against her body as her mane glowed in the dark waters. She swam for the dot as it made another dash, air trailing from her mouth. It dashed behind her as she pushed off the wall, kicking for the dot as it circled her, the princess batting it with her hooves as the dot climbed out of the fountain. She swam for the surface and took in a breath, shaking her mane of water and climbed out the fountain, chasing the dot again as she picked up her crown.
The guards watching still stared in confusion, before one guard broke their silence and said, “Is it me, or did you just see the princess dive into the fountain?”
The other guard, his gaze unyielding as he replied, “It’s not hot today, is it?”
“It’s about 70 degrees today, I think.”
“Then what made her swim in the fountain? Doesn’t she already have a swimming pool?”
“She’s probably on her period.”
The second guard stared at him and said, “You’ve never slept with someone, have you?”
The first guard hung his head, “No, I haven’t.”
Celestia dashed down the grass path and found the dot backed up against the wall. She crouched into a pounce position again, smiling wickedly. “So, it ends here, my friend. Now, who are you?”
The dot suddenly made a dash for her hooves as she tried to bat it away, only for it to disappear under her hoof. She looked at her hoof and lifted it as the dot laid motionless, apparently dead. “Oh no, I killed it. I didn’t mean to...” She gasped sadly, as she watched the dot fade away into nothingness.
She sat on the grass and hung her head, sighing sadly. The guard eventually ran to her and said, “There you are, Princess. I have been looking all over for—“
He stopped speaking when he found Celestia hanging her head and sighing. He walked to her and placed a hoof on her shoulder. She looked at him and said, “I didn’t mean to kill it. It just ran under my hoof and I crushed it.”
The guard patted her shoulder and helped her up. “It’ll be alright, whatever it was, it was just confused and what you did was an accident. Now, how about we head back and get some coffee?”
Celestia nodded and walked back with him. “Sounds fair.”
As the two walked off, a small laser pointer was being hung over the perch of a rooftop by some dark purple magic. Viewing through a screen of the same colour magic, having watched the whole events was Princess Luna, who was lying on her back on her own bed, laughing her head off.
She sat up, teleported the laser pointer to her and flashed it on the wall, causing her to laugh again. “Oh, this modern technology is ever so hilarious! I must thank Pipsqueak for sending me this wonderful device, I think I shall be using it again.”
She placed the laser pointer on a desk and got off the bed, walking to the doorway before looking back at the laser pointer and giggling, turning the light off and closing the door.
The End