//------------------------------//
// Dashed Aside 
// Story: Eljunbyro 
// by Imploding Colon 
//------------------------------//

	"Huh?" Bellesmith gawked.

"Er... What I mean is..."  Eagle Eye stammered, backing away from the pair of ponies.  "That is, what I'm trying to say..."

With a heavy thud, Zenith landed to Eagle Eye's right from above.  "He's trying to say that he's an incompetent, namby-pamby moron who wants to burrow into your mane and hibernate there for the winter."

"Zenith!" Eagle Eye's voice cracked.  "That's not what I'm trying to say at all!"

Phoenix landed on the other side, smirking.  "Simmer down, princess.  We'll take it from here."

"Don't call me names like that—Ungh!" Eagle Eye tossed his mane and folded his forelimbs.

"Uhm... Beloved?"  Pilate murmured aside to Bellesmith as the both of them trembled.  "Is it just me, or is the forest raining ponies?"

"Don't worry," Zenith droned.  "As if silk saddles here wasn't already a clue, we're not here to hurt you."

"You're not?" Belle remarked.

The heaviest thud of all sounded behind them.  Crimson had landed, and he was trotting slowly towards the pair.  "No.  We're not."

Belle yelped as Pilate shoved her aside and raised his forelimbs threateningly.  "You and your freakishly deep voice stay back, Mister!  I've been known to kick the cutie marks off of flanks in my day!"

Crimson calmly blinked at the zebra, noting how the stallion was glaring a noticeable forty-five degrees to the left of him.  He stepped to the left so that he was in front of Pilate.  "That must have been well before your eyes clouded over, good sir."

Pilate bit his lip.  A gentle, golden hoof rested on his shoulder.

"Please..."  Belle spoke up, her face soft and worrisome.  "Just tell us what you want."

"We would like to know what brings the two of you so deep into Foxtaur," Cirmson said while pacing around the pair.  "And alive, for that matter.  It's not an easy feat in this... well... this neck of the woods."

"An even better question would be what you ponies are doing here," Pilate said.

"It's the longest slumber party ever," Zenith mused.  "Only, instead of scary ghost stories, there are nooses begging to wrap around our necks."  He smirked.

"You..."  Belle squinted, her eyes darting between their unconventional weapons and their sly expressions.  "You are not Enforcers?"

"Neither are we bandits, before you ask that as well," Crimson remarked.  His hooves came to a stop.  "If you must know, we're of the Blades Guild.  We hail from Franzington to the far south.  We've made a place here in Foxtaur until winter arrives to give us cover for the rest of the journey home."

"The Blades Guild...?"  Belle thought aloud.  "From Franzington?  I don't understand.  Why are you so far from your home country?"

"They're mercenaries," Pilate spat, frowning.  "The province of Franzington is famous for its warrior culture that sends hundreds if not thousands of hired hooves to fight for the Confederacy."

"You make us sound like we're souless freaks!"  Phoenix exclaimed.  "I know our country borders Searo, but we're nothing like those metal-spined, mechanical bounty hunters!"  The mustached stallion shuddered.  "The Blades Guild has honor!"

"Enough honor to go AWOL..." Pilate muttered.

"Just because your eyes are blind doesn't mean your spirit must be," Crimson said.  "We served the Ledomaritan Confederacy for over two years—faithfully and courageously.  We saved dozens of villages from the rampaging forces of Xona.  But then, in the Upper Xonan Heights, we realized that the coilition we were working for was heartless and cruel.  So, we sheathed our weapons and left the army.  There were twelve of us then."  He swallowed hard and exhaled breathily.  "There are four of us now.  Some might call it cowardice, but then they are ponies who don't understand the price of honor."

"What could have been so bad that you felt compelled to leave the army after two years of fighting for them?" Belle asked.

"Undoubtedly something traumatic enough to compare with what brought you two here," Crimson said, pacing towards them.  "But that is not of extreme importance.  However, there is something I would very much like to address."

Belle and Pilate leaned apprehensively against each other.  "What's that?"

Crimson pointed.  "The zebra—he has in his possession an item of magical attunement?"

Pilate's ears twitched towards the unicorn.  His metal brow furrowed.  "And what if I might?"

"Since you walked into this forest, our boss has sensed something awry," Zenith spoke up.

"There's an entanglement of leylines," Phoenix added.  "But your horn is curiously broken, lady.  So it can't be you."

"You insist that something is wrong with O.A.S.I.S.?" Belle remarked.

Crimson raised an eyebrow.  "Oasis?"

Pilate sighed.  "It's the rune-empowered device that I use to read things and navigate a simple landscape.  Yes, it is attuned to my leylines.  But if there was something wrong with it, I would be able to tell."

"Are you sure of that?"

Pilate was still.

"Because you are being followed," Crimson said.

"Followed?" Belle gasped.  "By whom?"

"The key thing is not to panic," Crimson remarked.  "If you allow us, I think we can very easily clear your leylines of the entanglement.  That should buy us enough time to evade those who hunt you."

"Beloved?"  Belle turned and nuzzled Pilate.  "What do you think, darling?"

Pilate took a deep breath, his jaw clenched.  "This is all so much to take in.  But what choice do we have?"

"Should we wait for Rainbow Dash to come back?"

Crimson squinted.  "Rainbow Dash?"

"Hey..."  Phoenix tapped on Eagle Eye's shoulder and pointed into the forest.  "Hey look, fruit!"

"For the love of oats..."  Eagle Eye groaned long and hard.  He turned around, frowning.  "How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me—"  An apple flew into his skull, impaling itself on his horn.  "Buh?"  A second apple slammed into his face.

Four more tore into the clearing, knocking Zenith's hooves from under him and sending Phoenix spiraling backwards.

Crimson turned and did a double-take.  His horn glowed as he reached back for his massive hammer.

"Nnnnnnnnngh-Raaaaaaaugh!" A blue body slammed mercilessly into him.

"Ooof!" Crimson grunted as he was shoved, shoved, shoved across the clearing and slammed into the body of a twisted oak.

"No!" Belle shrieked.  "Rainbow!  Please!  Don't—"

It was too late.  With metallic ringing sounds, Zenith unsheathed his polearm and Phoenix twirled loose his spiked mace.  Shaking the apple bits off their faces, both stallions charged at the winged pony.

With a glint to her ruby pendant, Rainbow Dash backflipped, twirled through the air, and slid down in between them.  She bucked Phoenix in the side, ducked a swing of Zenith's polearm, and slammed two of her hooves across his face.

As Zenith stumbled back, Phoenix came charging with the mace in full swing.  Rainbow Dash squatted on the ground and flapped her wings in reverse.  She went sliding backwards, passed through Phoenix's legs, and jumped up the other side with her teeth clasping his tail.

"Waaaaaaieee!" Phoenix shrieked as he was spun-spun-spun-spun-spun in Rainbow's jaws before being ultimately flung towards a series of branches snapping overhead.

As Phoenix's body hit the floor, Zenith came back with the polearm stabbing hard at Rainbow's hooves.

Rainbow jumped up, barely missing the bladed spear's charge.  The polearm embedded into the floor.  Rainbow's hooves came back down and perched on it.  She galloped up the length and backflipped off the end of it, bicycle kicking Zenith so hard that the stallion flew back and toppled a dying tree's trunk in half.

As the forest rained with leaves and twigs, Rainbow Dash twirled around—only to get a face full of hammer.

"Haaaugh!" Crimson shouted at the end of his throw.

Rainbow managed to dodge at the last second, but the concussive blast of the lead unicorn's hammer impacting the ground sent her flying backwards.  She flailed for half a second before flapping her wings, hovering upright, and twirling in a circular arc through the surrounding tree branches.

"Rainbow, quit it!" Belle shrieked.  "They were only trying to help us!  Stop before you get hurt!"

Pilate tugged on Belle's mane and murmured, "I think you're talking to the wrong pony."

"Beloved—!"

"Raaaaaaaaugh!" Rainbow Dash finally dove back into the fray.

Crimson levitated his hammer up high and blocked her charge.  Sneering, he pivoted the handle and slammed it across her skull.

Rainbow spun from the blast, spinning like a top in the air.  She lowered her hooves and grinded them into the earth.  Twirling two more revolutions, Rainbow Dash came to a stop—frowning amidst a cloud of upended grass and leaves.  Spitting blood into the earth, she flexed her wings and blurred forward with a crack of thunder.

Crimson's eyes twitched.

"Nnnnnnghh—!"  Rainbow Dash flew past him.

Crimson's body reeled.

Rainbow Dash inexplicably flew back from the opposite direction within the same breath.

Crimson teetered.

Again and again and again, Rainbow Dash zoomed past his body, spinning around him and knocking into him from several alternating angles. 

The lead mercenary hissed and grunted, taking each blow in stride.  Finally, he raised the hammer high and slammed it down into the ground before him.  The blow was  heavy enough to send Pilate and Belle—several feet away—sprawling to their flanks.

Rainbow Dash, however, twirled high up from the blast, coiled her wings at her side, somersaulted, and came down at Crimson like a blue missile.

Crimson looked up at the last second.

Rainbow's hooves planted against his skull and vaulted off the unicorn's cranium like a springboard.  Crimson flipped backwards from the blow and landed hard in the grass besides his hammer.  "Unnngh..."

With gently flapping wings, Rainbow Dash hovered down to the center of the fray.  She was surrounded by bodies of groaning, dizzied unicorns.  After taking several breaths, she relaxed her wings and turned towards her two friends.

"Whew.  Are you guys okay—?"

A shield flew into view, ricocheting against her skull.

"Oooomf!"  Rainbow Dash's body ragdolled into a thick cluster of bushes.

Belle and Pilate winced visibly.

Ringing in the air, the shield flew back into a petite unicorn's telekinetic grip.  Eagle Eye stood beside Crimson's body, blinking awkwardly as he levitated the sword and shield beside him.

The bushes shook and quivered for a few seconds before a decidedly angry Rainbow Dash poked her bruised head out.  Her ruby eyes glared daggers across the way at Eagle Eye.

He gulped.  "Oh jeez..."

Gritting her teeth hard enough to produce sparks, Rainbow Dash leapt out of the bush, flapped her wings, and thundered straight towards the last unicorn standing.

Eagle Eye dropped his sword and held his shield out, whimpering, "Oh jeez oh jeez oh jeez oh jeez—!"

"Yaaaaugh!" Rainbow flew full-force against the mercenary's guard, slamming and bucking and thrashing her hooves across the metal material.

All the while, Eagle Eye held the shield out, meeting each blow, deflecting for all he was worth.  His horn pulsed; his hooves grinded backwards in the soil.  He was pushed back by Rainbow's relentless onslaught, until his back was to a spreading oak tree.

Finally, with one last swing of her pounding hooves, Rainbow knocked the shield out of his grip and pressed her forelimbs to his neck.  She shoved the quivering stallion against the tree trunk and raised a hoof to cave his skull in.

"I hope you've eaten plenty of fiber for where I'm about to send your teeth, ya sniveling little—"  Rainbow Dash froze.  Her breaths came out in labored pants, her sweaty brow furrowing as she gazed at his violet mane, lavender coat, and purple, tearing eyes.  She blinked, and the next breath came out in a pitiful murmur.  "—egghead?"

Eagle Eye sniffed, blinking heavily so that a tear wouldn't come loose.  "Just leave most of my body intact!  I-I-I always wanted t-to be buried as a whole!"

Rainbow Dash frowned.  "The hay are you going on about?"

"You've done your damage, Rainbow, okay?!"  Bellesmith exclaimed from behind.  "Let them be, already!"

Rainbow Dash dropped Eagle with a pitiful yelp.  She spun about, frowning.  "But they were gonna tear you to ribbons and stuff!"

"No they weren't!"

"I saw them with their weapons and their evil, evil soldierness!"

"They were not gonna tear us apart!" Belle exclaimed, stomping her hoof into the ground.  "They're not like the Enforcers!"

"Pfft!  Yeah right!"

"Do you see a single beret on any one of them?!  Huh?!  Do you?!"

Rainbow Dash blinked.  She gazed around at the multiple, groaning, stirring stallions across the clearing.  "Uhhhh..."  She flapped her wings, flew into the center of the place, and reached into the saddlebag where Belle had dropped it.  Grabbing one of several berets, she flew over and planted it on Phoenix's head.

"Huh...?"  Phoenix finally sat up, squinting dazedly at the violet article hanging off his horn.  "What the—?"

Rainbow Dash punched him viciously in the face.  She spun from his collapsed body and dusted her hooves off.  "There!  You happy?"

"Rainbowwwwwww!"