//------------------------------// // A Mansion by Any Other Name... // Story: Zapfilly // by a3V //------------------------------// “Darling, are you sure you weren’t... oh, goodness, what do you foals usually drink at Sugarcube Corner these days?” “I’m telling you, Rarity! It was Mare Do Well!” “Did Pinkie give you one of her new recipes? I’ll have to talk with her about this!” Rarity levitated an ornate sky blue scarf onto the mannequin, appraising it with a critical eye before taking it off. “No, this won’t do at all. Between my deadlines and what Pinkie Pie has been giving you, today may classify as one of the worst. Possible. Days!” “Why didn’t you come along last time, Rarity? I was almost foalnapped!” Sweetie Belle hopped onto a spare cushion in Rarity’s inspiration room, careful not to trip over any loose cloth or spare threads. “I have spent much time talking with Gummy, dear. Although our conversation didn’t exactly go as planned, I know that he has your safety in mind.” “But Gummy doesn’t talk. How can you tell?” “Let’s just say I have ways of making sure, darling.” Sweetie noticed a devious glint in Rarity’s eyes, and decided it was best to not pursue that choice of conversation. “Well, if you say so. Are you going to finish the dresses soon? Will we have time to spend together?” “Sweetie, I am absolutely swamped today trying to finish my orders. However, the reason why I am doing this is because I have arranged a spot in my schedule to spend with you. Currently, it’s sitting at two days, but I may be able to add another day or two if I can finish quickly enough.” “Really, Rarity? That’s awesome!” “Awesome, darling? Has little Scootaloo been rubbing off on you?” Rarity smirked at her little sister, and turned back to her levitating fabrics. Sweetie Belle narrowed her eyes as she approached her sister. “You’ve been acting a bit strange recently, Rarity.” “Hmm? Strange how?” “Well, you seem like you’re more sisterly, or something.” Sweetie idly started to roll around a ball of yarn. “Sisterly? Whatever does that mean?” Rarity was a bit confused, but continued on anyways. “I did promise you this month that I would put aside time for you, after all.” “Yeah, but... ugh, whatever.” She tossed the yarn ball into the string receptacle next to Rarity’s desk, and frowned in annoyance. “I know I saw Mare Do Well, Rarity. It was, for sure, one hundred percent Mare Do Well! I read the newspaper when she first showed up, and I know what she looks like.” “Sweetie, I made the costume myself. I know for certain that I took them apart. There is no sense in wasting perfectly good fabric.” Sweetie almost cried out in irritation, but Rarity did have a point. Some cloths were fairly expensive, if the prices at the market were any indication. “Then maybe next time I’ll take a picture! Then you can see for yourself!” “I don’t think that would be a good idea, Sweetie. And—wait. Did you say something about getting foalnapped, earlier?” Rarity’s expression turned severe, and she walked straight up to Sweetie. “I did have Gummy give me his word, in so far as he can speak, but that is far too dangerous for a filly like you.” “I think I kind of agree with you. This sounds like something an adult should do.” “Indeed. I’ll speak to Top Hat as soon as possible, dear. Goodness knows what else may happen, without a real pony. Or perhaps I should make him go with you! I know where he lives, and if he moves, I’ll just simply ask Twilight to send a letter to the princesses.” Rarity rubbed a hoof against her chest and extended it, looking at it nonchalantly. “And no matter where he goes, I will know. I will trail him, I will close the distance, and I will... hmm, end him.” “You’re taking this a bit personally, Rarity.” Rarity laughed, and patted Sweetie on the head. “You’re my sister. That’s about as personal as it can get, darling.” “Sisters, yay!” Sweetie rolled around on the cushion for a silent minute before Rarity hesitantly spoke up. “So, this... Mare Do Well... what do you know of her so far?” “Well, she was pretty cool. She came in and sort of kicked everypony’s butt, then just ran away. Superhero-like stuff.” “Hmm, whoever it is clearly has experience with martial arts...” Rarity tapped her hooves together in contemplation. “I suppose I shall have to discuss this with Top Hat... and Gummy, in particular. You said he was there when Mare Do Well showed up? He saw her, as well?” “Yep! I think Mare Do Well’s working with Gummy. They didn’t even look at each other the whole time, like in an action hero movie!” Scootaloo had access to seemingly endless amounts of comic books, Rarity realized. It didn’t particularly help that Twilight had quite a few of them sitting in the library, either. “Hmm... that is quite peculiar. I shall ask around later today, but right now, I must finish my work! Time is of the essence, and the sooner I can finish these orders, the sooner I can get back to keeping an eye on you, Sweetie.” “But I have all of today off, Rarity! What am I going to do?” “Oh, I’m sure you’ll find something.” Rarity brought a scarf up to eye level with a hoof, comparing it to the fabrics already on her model. “I feel absolutely terrible about leaving you all by yourself, especially with this Mare Do Well running around, but priorities must be kept!” Sweetie Belle fidgeted at a table outside a cafe Rarity frequented. Since Rarity was one of the regular customers, that meant Sweetie Belle had—on more than one occasion—dined there as well, so all the staff were familiar with her. She pushed around a few bits sitting on the table, bits that she had earned from her “occupation.” A few servings of hay fries and ketchup would be today’s snack. “Here you go, Sweetie.” The stallion waiter dropped a plate with a tall stack of hay fries onto her table, with a bottle of ketchup. “Sure you don’t need a drink with that?” “That sounds like a good idea, actually.” She tossed over a few more bits into the stallion’s outstretched hoof, and he pocketed them in his apron. “The usual?” “Yep. Iced tea, easy on the sugar.” Sweetie didn’t like sweet drinks to go with a meal, since it both made her hyper, and killed some of the taste in her food. She suspected that Rarity may have played a role in that, but Fluttershy also contributed when she slept over at her cottage. “I’ll be back in a flash!” The waiter walked back into the cafe, leaving Sweetie alone with the noise of a busy, noon-time Ponyville. She reached a hoof out for the ketchup bottle, but stopped. Perhaps her new magical ability extended to actual magic? She focused on the bottle and channeled her energy like she would with the Zap, holding her breath and focusing. If she could just lift it up, no matter the distance, it would prove that she was getting better. The waiter came back to find Sweetie Belle red-faced and grimacing, as she stared at the ketchup bottle with a gaze that would melt ice. He stood there for a minute, balancing the tray on his back, before speaking up. “Uh... are you okay?” “Guh!” Sweetie Belle took a gasp of air and huffed. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just fine.” “Pardon me for asking, but were you trying to will that ketchup into nonexistence?” The waiter took the bottle with a hoof and examined it up close. “No, I wasn’t. Sorry, mister, I was just trying to levitate it.” “That’s no problem, Sweetie Belle.” He ruffled her mane with a hoof, causing her to laugh. “Every unicorn’s went through that phase, although since I’m an earth pony that’s kind of strange... but, uh, my mom’s a unicorn, and that’s what she told me.” “Well, I guess that’s true. I’m working on it, but it seems to be coming along a lot slower than I thought.” “Can’t rush these things, little filly. You’ll figure it out eventually!” He took out a small bag of candies and placed them on the table. “Oh, here’s a little something for you, courtesy of the staff. We miss you and your sister eating here weekly, you know. We can tell when she has a bunch of orders in the Boutique when she’s absent on the usual day.” “I’m not sure how Rarity would take that. I mean, a pony telling her to come out and eat more?” She snickered. He chuckled with her. “Well, I should get back to work. And you should eat your hay fries before they get cold.” Before the waiter dashed back to the kitchen, he snatched a few fries off of the stack and threw them into his mouth. “Hey!” Sweetie bumped a hoof on his shoulder playfully. “I’ll just take that as a tip!” The stallion walked back inside the bustling cafe, packed with foals on this fine day. It was a good opportunity to see who was in what group, and Sweetie predictably saw Rumble and his cohorts sitting at the corner table outside, bickering about comic books. “Awesome, hay fries!” Sweetie turned back around to see Scootaloo sitting down on the opposite side of the table, squeezing a bunch of ketchup onto the plate before swabbing a few hay fries in the condiment and dropping it into her mouth. “You know, I totally forgot you earn bits now. Imagine all the stuff we could buy! We could buy, like... Wonderbolts stuff! Or maybe we could buy some tickets to Wonderbolts shows, so we can go see them with Rainbow Dash, or maybe we could—” “Scoots, do you even know how much a Wonderbolts ticket costs? I’m earning bits now, yeah, but there’s no way I’m going to get one this soon! Not to mention mom got wind about all of this and opened up a bank account for me, so most of the bits I probably shouldn’t use.” “Yeah? And why not?” “The account is under my name, but mom is still my guardian. If I withdraw any bits, she’ll notice right away thanks to that fancy new magical report system.” “Then how’d you get the bits to pay for the hay fries?” Scootaloo munched on a few more, after hosing the plate down with more ketchup. “I asked mom for them before I left. You ever notice that bits kind of smell funny?” “Uh, yeah? Kinda. So, I heard from Monocle that you went on another totally secret mission last night. How’d it go?” The pegasus filly popped a few more fries into her mouth, eager to enjoy the free snack. “It was horrifying. There were other ponies there, and they were about to throw me out of the house, and Gummy was busy, and I totally thought I was going to get foalnapped—” “Sounds like you had a pretty crazy night, Sw—” “And then Mare Do Well showed up!” Scootaloo stopped chewing and stared at Sweetie Belle for a few seconds before swallowing her food and laughing. “What? Mare Do Well was just some stunt thing going on in Ponyville a few days ago. Rainbow Dash told me that it was some promo for a comic series or something.” Sweetie said nothing, barely suppressing a laugh. Obviously, poor Scootaloo was woefully misinformed... on purpose, it seemed. “What? That’s totally what it was, right?” “Uh... well... what actually happened was that my sister and her friends did it as a prank on Rainbow to, um... ‘knock her down a notch’, I think Rarity said. I’m not sure if it was the best thing to do, but they went and did it using Mare Do Well costumes, which Rarity made.” “What?! It was a lie?!” “Well, that’s what it is. Anyways, these fries are mine, and I paid for them, so I’m going to enjoy them.” Sweetie picked up a fry covered in ketchup and popped it in her mouth, and grimaced. “Yuck! The fries are all floppy because you put too much ketchup on them!” “So, you ran into Mare Do Well. What about it?” Scootaloo asked, pointedly ignoring Sweetie Belle’s protestation. “Mare Do Well was supposed to be something my sister and her friends came up with, so why is she showing up now?” Sweetie circled the ketchup with a fry, running through the possibilities in her head. “Could it be Mare Do Well is real? I think the chances of that are really slim, which leads me to believe that Mare Do Well is probably just a cover for somepony who works for the Coalition... or somepony who knows what I’m doing.” “But everypony knows what you’re doing,” Scootaloo bluntly pointed out. “Exactly! But it’s an adult who’s doing it, so that limits my options. When I get my next mission, I’m going to bring a camera!” “Okay, snap some photos of her. Good luck with that.” “But the most important part, Scoots, is one big thing...” “Yeah...?” The pegasus filly leaned closer to emphasize her interest. “I need to figure out if she has wings, or a horn. The costume hides them both with the hat and the cape, so I just gotta see if she has either of those and we can narrow down our mystery mare!” “That actually sounds pretty exciting!” Scootaloo took a peek around the crowded cafe to make sure no one was looking, then whispered to Sweetie. “Can you tell me first, when you figure out who it is?” “Oh, sure thing, Scootaloo! You’ll be the first pony to get all the nice, juicy, positively scrumptious details, on a silver platter.” Sweetie Belle folded her hooves with finality, and nodded. Scootaloo’s brain sputtered for a few seconds before she caught on. “You know, I really hate it when you use sarcasm like that.” The rest of the week, surprisingly enough, went by without a hitch. Sweetie Belle visited Top Hat every day, hoping for an assignment to complete. Her only way of luring out the mysterious Mare Do Well was to head out with Gummy, who was permanently assigned as her operations handler. The alligator was apparently capable of paperwork, as there were always papers on Top Hat’s desk from Gummy. Any attempts at gathering information always led to a dead end. Either Mare Do Well was so firmly entrenched in the Coalition that plausible deniability was at an all-time high, or Mare Do Well actually was an outsider who happened to be in the vicinity. Sweetie Belle had a hunch that what happened on the last assignment was far too lucky to be mere happenstance, and resolved to get to the bottom of this once and for all and learn her true identity. Or to see if she could thank her, at least. It was the next weekend, and Sweetie Belle had planned ahead. She had finished all of her homework in advance after asking Cheerilee for future assignments, which left her schedule clear for anything that may come up, should the need arise. Ponyville was a very basic town, which meant that finding a camera would be rather difficult. Fortunately for Sweetie Belle, the Foal Free Press had a camera to use, but it was kept inside the office where the newspaper was stationed. “Hello? Anypony here?” She pushed the door open, the creaking sound resonating through the office. A few foals stood off to the side, chatting amongst themselves while sharing a file of papers and pictures, while the rest were busy typing away on the strange, two-key typewriters situated in the middle of the press room. “Oh, Sweetie Belle! What are you doing back here? Ooh, are you going to start up the Gabby Gums column again?” Featherweight’s head poked out of a pile of scrolls, situated on the editor-in-chief’s desk. He grabbed the scroll sitting on his head, and unraveled it with a smirk. “I told you, Truffle! Next batch of paper comes in tomorrow!” “Hey, Featherweight. I was actually here to ask if you had a spare camera I can use...” “A camera, huh? Hey, Shady!” Featherweight shouted at a door towards the back of the room which swung open, revealing a small pale blue colt with a camera around his neck. “Ya rang?” He trotted over to the desk, shifting the camera hung around his neck. “Sweetie Belle here wants to know if you got a spare camera to use. I have to get back to looking through these scrolls, Miss Cheerilee wants to know how much more ink we need. It’s the most expensive liquid known to ponykind!” A few scrolls tumbled off the table as Featherweight dived in again, leaving Sweetie Belle with the colt. He raised a brow as he noticed Sweetie’s silence, before smiling and beckoning her towards the darkroom. “Ah, I remember you. You were that filly that ran the Gabby Gums column, along with your friends. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, right?” “Yep, that’s us. The column wasn’t our greatest idea.” “We all make mistakes, Sweetie Belle.” He brushed a layer of dust off a cardboard box in the back of the room, and opened it gently with his hooves. Shady lifted a camera up to eye level, and shook it twice. “Hmm, no loose parts. I guess that means it’s still in good shape!” Sweetie Belle held out her hooves as Shady Daze dropped the camera into her hold, as well as a roll of film. “Wow, I didn’t think you’d have a spare! Thanks a lot!” “Well, it’s yours if you’ll tell me what it’s for.” Shady leaned against a cabinet, trying to look nonchalant. “It’s not everyday a pony walks in here wanting to borrow a camera.” Sweetie Belle couldn’t see any harm in telling the colt, and shrugged. What harm could there be in telling another pony? “Well, you didn’t hear it from me, but...” She leaned in and whispered. “Mare Do Well’s back in town!” “Pfft, what? Mare Do Well? My dad’s part of the Ponyville Gazette, and he told me that Mare Do Well was nothing but a hoax!” “Well, that may be the case, but she showed up again! And since my sister doesn’t believe me, I’ll just have to prove her wrong by getting pictures.” She rotated the camera in her grip, taking in its design. “A bit different than what I’m used to...” “Well, good luck with that. Just remember that I want the camera back later, in the same condition!” He trotted out of the darkroom, looking back at Sweetie as he went. “Just don’t let Scootaloo get her hooves on the camera. Cameras aren’t meant to go fast.” The “smoke” in Top Hat’s office rose above the idle ceiling fan, giving the room an air of Manehatten detective noir. However, since Top Hat was very averse to the idea of smoke inside a building, they’d had to settle for a kettle boiling in the corner of the room, which made a quiet whistling noise as Sweetie Belle slowly hoofed her way through the folder of papers on the desk. “So... the next target is... Diamond Tiara’s house.” She brought up a picture of a fairly luxurious estate, which she didn’t recognize. Filthy Rich’s estate was situated a distance from the side of town opposite the Everfree, probably for safety reasons. “Mansion,” Top Hat corrected. “Those hoity-toity rich ponies like to use that term, or ‘estate’. And don’t even get me started on the real Hoity Toity!” The stallion coughed several times, causing his chair to rock back and forth before he finished with a sigh. “Sorry. Have to lose the accent for a day or two since I have to go back up to HQ to... file a report. Heh.” “Okay, some big dumb dollhouse-looking thing, then.” Her eyes flickered between the incredulously long descriptions of the floor plan and the pictures of all the staff in the Rich estate. “Mister Rich sure likes having a lot of ponies at his house...” “And that’s the problem!” Top Hat took a sip of tea from his cup, and placed it daintily back onto its saucer. “One of those ponies is connected to those crazy kooks spreading around the Grey, and we don’t know which one!” He ruffled his mane as he took a bunch of pictures in his hooves and eyed them all closely. “It could be this one, or this one... maybe this one! And this one looks perfectly fine, but it could also be her! Or him! Or him!” “Mister Hat, that one’s Filthy Rich.” The legitimacy of the Chromatic Coalition was called into question far too many times to suit Sweetie Belle, but Princess Celestia had given Top Hat’s presence in Ponyville the green light... which meant that he was, in all honesty, serious about his mission. “Is it? Hmm.” He reclined in his chair as he studied Filthy Rich’s picture. “Yeah, I remember now. He was in the town hall the day I finalized all the paperwork for this house.” “So do we actually have a plan this time, or are there going to be a bunch of ponies waiting for us... again?” “Actually, due to the, um... obstacles from the last mission, HQ up in Canterlot has dispatched an additional agent to help us. She’s recently returned from Neighpon, and with her help, you should sail through this mission real smooth-like.” “Okay... so where is she, then?” Sweetie Belle looked around the room expectantly. Perhaps she would pop up from the floorboards, or fall from the ceiling? “She’s settling back into Ponyville, so she won’t be visiting us quite yet. Also, we’re changing how things work this time around. We’ll fit the mission in the first free day you have, since Princess Celestia has made it painfully obvious to us that a filly like you shouldn’t be missing out on your education.” “To be honest, I think I’d rather have a week off to relax. It’s been a really busy week for me.” Sweetie could imagine Rarity standing behind her, nodding fervently in agreement. Celestia knows that she, of all ponies, needed a break—both from the crazy shenanigans, and from Top Hat’s eccentricity. “If I had a bit every time I threw that at the boss, hehe.” Top Hat cleared his throat, and took a long drink from his cup of tea, finishing it with a smack of his lips. “Now, I’m sure you want to enjoy your day, so shoo. Leave this paperwork to me.” Sweetie Belle left the office just as a knock resonated through the house, which was followed by the sound of the front door opening. A mulberry mare with a purple-blue mane poked her head inside, looking around for a moment before locking eyes with the filly. “Hello! Is there a ‘Top Hat’ in here?” The mare squinted at Sweetie, and realization dawned on her face. “Oh, you’re Rarity’s little sister! What are you doing in here?” “Miss Swirl?” Sweetie recognized the mare by her colors. She was one of Rarity’s regulars, and dropped by often to chat with the fashionista. “Well, if you’re looking for Mister Hat, he’s in his office at the end of the hall.” “Well, if you don’t mind, I’ll probably just be a minute. There’s a few things I want to talk to you about!” With that, Sea Swirl dashed down the hallway and entered the office, leaving Sweetie Belle alone outside the house. She rubbed her forehead with her hoof and sighed with exasperation. She promised herself that she wouldn’t try to understand this weird, bizarre world of ponies, and so far it was working out fairly well. “So you’re the agent Mister Hat was talking about?” Sweetie Belle sat at one of Rarity’s worktables in foyer of Carousel Boutique, with Sea Swirl across the table from her. Rarity had gone off to the kitchen to make some tea, leaving the two alone. “Sure am! I’m surprised you were the little filly I’m working with. I thought it was some sort of joke at first, but I guess he was right.” Swirl smiled, and levitated a stack of papers onto the table. Attending one of the many parties that Fancy Pants hosted was part of her job, and reading documents on other agents was something she did often in her downtime. “Let’s see... ‘Sweetie Belle: a filly from Ponyville. Shows great promise, and is very intelligent for a filly her age’. Any of this ring a bell to you?” “Well, Miss Cheerilee says that I’m the smartest filly in the class. Sometimes.” Apple Bloom was quickly catching up to her when it came to quizzes and homework. Not that there was anything wrong with that, of course. “Sometimes, hmm?” Rarity placed a tray of teacups on the table and sat next to Sweetie, giving her a playful nudge with a hoof. “On the contrary, dear. You’ve been at the top of the class since you first started attending! Why, I remember the very first quiz you brought home to our parents!” “Ahahaha, Rarity, we have a guest here, you know,” Sweetie muttered through her teeth. She cringed inwardly as she recalled the last family gathering during Hearth’s Warming Eve, and it had started off quite like this. “Ah, yes. I apologize.” Rarity swirled around the tea in her cup, looking at it in contemplation. “It’s been quite a while, Sea Swirl.” “Indeed it has, Rarity.” Sea Swirl took her own cup in her hooves, staring at Rarity for a few silent seconds before the two burst out in laughter. “Did you hear about Prince Blueblood’s slip-up last week?” Sea Swirl asked between bouts of giggling. “Oh, yes, I certainly have! It was quite literal, if I do recall.” Sweetie Belle groaned and backed away from the table as the two began chatting in earnest. Rarity had apparently met Sea Swirl when she had gone to Canterlot a few months back, which just so happened to be on Twilight’s birthday. Many of the specifics had been left out when Rarity recounted the story, but she didn’t mention meeting any new ponies. Well, now was as good a time as any to familiarize herself with the mission plan. She flipped the “instruction” packet to the second page, and began reading down the flowing, cursive text that lined the paper. Phase One: Entry. Agents will use the rear chimney to access the second-story guest bedroom, and proceed towards the entrance to gain access to the basement...