Main Characters: TWP, Pinkie Pie
Cameos: Many
Original Start Date: December 24, 2012 (Almost Christmas!)
James groans and adjusts his glasses. He slept on the couch after staying up all night watching movies. A snore fills the living room and a lock of pink mane drops in front of his face, reminding the stallion why he was up late.
The Cake twins have come down with a bad case of pony pox. Pinkie is doing her best to give the Cakes the space they need to care for their kids. Unfortunately, she has been kicked out of all of her friends’ homes due to her wild behaviour. She ended up staying with James, allowing Rei some time with Inkie and letting Del sleep over with her friends. The two friends have spent the past few nights staying up playing games and watching movies.
Pinkie cuddles the pony below her. ‘I have the best, most comfy bed.’
‘You’ll also have the wettest bed if you don’t allow me to use the washroom.’
‘Sorry,’ Pinkie giggles.
The mare lets James up. While the stallion uses the washroom, Pinkie makes them breakfast. James returns to an array of cakes and other treats produced in an amazingly short amount of time.
‘Just a small breakfast?’ the stallion asks.
Pinkie eats a plate of eclairs. ‘Got to get the energy up for another great, super, funtastisc day!’
‘Hmm. I guess.’
‘AW! Come on! You are one of the bestest ponies I know. You should be having fun all the time.’
‘I do have fun,’ James groans. ‘You just can’t be having fun and doing crazy things all the time.’
‘But you have your magic box thingy!’ Pinkie objects. ‘You can go anywhere and do anything! I’ve seen what you can do with it. If I were you, I’d be using it to make everypony everywhere across all time happy!’
James sighs, ‘You can’t really do that, Pinkie.’
Pinkie whimpers and goes back to eating. James sits down and starts eating too. Soon, he gets an idea.
‘Hmm. Pinkie, are you pondering what I’m pondering?’
‘I think so, James, but we have to keep it down or Lucas and Mimi might hear us downstairs.’ Pinkie giggles. ‘Poit.’
‘Actually, I was thinking we could test your theory.’
‘Goodie!’
‘But, there are conditions.’
‘AW!’
‘We will go back and test the theory. If we can make everypony we meet happy, then we will spend the rest of eternity doing just that.’
‘WHEEE!’
‘But! If the test is a bust, you will admit that you can’t make everypony happy all the time.’
Pinkie thinks hard.
‘Do you smell burning?’ James asks.
Pinkie screams and pulls a cake out of the oven before it is overcooked.
‘So, do we have a bet?’ the stallion asks.
A pregnant dark purple unicorn mare trots off a train at Ponyville station. She coughs a bit as she levitates her saddlebag onto her back. Before it lands, the mare is gently nudged out of the way, and the bag is placed on another back.
‘Let me take that for you,’ Pinkie offers.
‘Oh, thank you,’ Raspberry replies.
‘No problem! Always happy to help!’ the pink pony cheers as she escorts the new arrival through town. ‘What brings you to Ponyville?’
‘I am looking for a new life. I want to raise my foal somewhere safe and peaceful.’
‘Well, you came to the right town! We have a great school and wonderful fashion district and the greatest library in Equestria!’ Pinkie beams brightly. A small rock hits her in the back of the head. ‘Oh, wait. We don’t have those yet.’
Raspberry laughs slightly but begins coughing.
Pinkie frowns. ‘Are you okay?’
‘I’ll be fine. Just not used to this fresh country air.’
‘Don’t worry. We have great doctors if you need them!’
Raspberry laughs again. Pinkie follows Raspberry as the mare takes in the town. The pink pony smiles as Sugarcube Corner into view. Her expression changes when she sees a young Carrot Cake arguing with a dark blue unicorn.
Raspberry sighs and levitates her bag back. ‘That is who I am supposed to meet. Thank you for your help.’
‘He doesn’t look’ -- a loud, tribalist expletive is heard -- ‘or sound very nice.’
‘He is a distant cousin. He has agreed to help me out until I can stand on my own.’
‘You don’t need him! You could, uh... Ah! You could work for the Cakes there. I bet you are a great baker, and they are the nicest employers, and we can be roommates and do each other’s manes and trade stories, and I know Stormy will love it!’ Pinkie stares at Raspberry with big doe eyes and whimpers. ‘Please?’
Raspberry smiles back. ‘I appreciate your concern, but you don’t have to worry about me. I have been through some tough times and made it through fine. I may not be as well-off as my friend Melodia, but I’ll be fine.’
Pinkie looks down and whimpers again.
‘Hey, cheer up. You were a wonderful town greeter. I really appreciate your kindness.’
‘Actually, I am Laughter, not Kindness.’
Raspberry laughs. ‘You have been a joy to meet. I hope we can be friends.’ She holds a hoof out. ‘I’m Raspberry Souffle.’
Pinkie shakes the hoof. ‘I’m Pi... unh...’ She grins. ‘Ms Strawberry!’
Raspberry gasps. ‘Strawberry?’
‘Did I say something wrong?’
‘N-no. You just reminded me of somepony I met when I lived in Canterlot. He was a good friend and made me smile as much as you have.’ The unicorn pulls Pinkie into a hug. ‘Thank you, Ms Strawberry. You are the greatest.’
Raspberry lets go and trots away to meet up with her cousin. She stops to wave to Pinkie before following her cousin away. The pink pony lets out a loud moan and trots back to the train station.
‘I just can’t make it,’ a tan mare with a fuschia mane moans while trotting by. ‘How can I get ahead in politics?’
‘Maybe dye your mane to look older and wiser,’ Pinkie mumbles as she passes.
‘Hey! That’s a great idea! Thanks!’
Pinkie laughs a bit as the mare gallops away. The down mare continues her trek through town. As she nears the train station again, loud crying is heard. Near the platform, a pale grey mare is trying to tend to a crying purple-grey baby filly and wrangle a large shopping basket with a pink tail sticking out of it. A grey filly wanders around the area.
‘Marble! Get back here!’ the mare snaps. She groans and bounces the baby on her shoulder. ‘Calm down, Limestone. We’ll be home soon.’ The basket jumps. ‘Pinkamena! Knock it off!’
Filly Inkie darts back to her mother’s side. The older Pinkie Pie moans as filly Pinkie climbs out of the basket.
‘I was only looking for a snack,’ the filly whines.
‘You can eat when we get home and make dinner,’ Cloudy Quartz scolds. She holds up baby Limestone. ‘Please calm down, Limestone.’
Blinkie keeps crying, but something gets her attention, and she laughs. Sue turns to see mare Pinkie making a funny face.
‘Thanks for your help,’ Sue thanks her time-displaced daughter.
‘I have a way with foals,’ Pinkie replies.
‘I can do that too!’ Filly Pinkie makes a face.
Inkie giggles at her sister.
‘Pinkamena! Knock that off!’
Filly Pinkie frowns and looks down.
‘You don’t have to be so harsh...’ mare Pinkie whimpers.
Cloudy picks up her basket. ‘I’m sorry you had to see that. Pinkamena is normally better behaved.’
Pinkie laughs nervously. ‘She just needs a little understanding. I’m sure she will turn out fine. I bet she would say you that you a wonderful mother.’
‘Thank you, miss.’ Cloudy bows. ‘If you are ever out at the Pie Family Rock Farm, I’ll give you a discount. Come along, children. We have a bit of trip if we are going to get home in time for dinner.’
Cloudy puts Blinkie in the basket and trots way. Filly Pinkie and Inkie sigh and follow. Mare Pinkie looks around and slips them both cookies. Filly Pinkie’s hoof accidentally glances off mare Pinkie’s. A powerful jolt of electricity passes between the two Pinkies. They giggle and gallop in opposite directions. A brown hoof catches the mare on the shoulder and pulls her into a vending machine.
‘Temporal energies coursing through your younger self and now explaining a lot about you aside, we have to hurry to our next destination.’
‘Can we stop for lunch first? I sorta gave away my snack already.’
James groans and goes with Pinkie to the kitchen.
A small blue pegasus filly jumps on the bottom bed of a bunk bed. She flaps her wings like crazy as she tries to get airborne. She gives a big bounce and sails off the bed. She screams as she falls face first towards the floor.
‘Careful, Dashie,’ Pinkie says, plucking the filly from her fall. ‘You don’t want to hurt yourself.’
Pinkie sets the young Rainbow Dash on the floor. The filly looks at the odd mare and a stallion standing beside a strange closet. Dash jumps back on her bed and flares her wings.
‘Who are you?’ the filly demands. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘We’re friends, Dashie,’ Pinkie replies.
‘Oh, yeah? Then how come I ain’t seen ya before?’
‘Manehattanites,’ James groans.
‘Ya got a problem with me?’
‘Not at all, Dash. In fact, we’re here to play.’
James points his sonic at a wind-up pegasus toy. The toy springs to life and flies around the room.
‘That’s so cool! How’d you do that?’
‘Just a simple trick.’ He sonics an earth pony toy that gets up and trots around. ‘Still think we’re threats?’
Dash jumps from her bed and starts playing with her souped-up toys. Pinkie giggles and joins in the fun.
…
Rainbow Dash lays on her bed. She has only been playing with Pinkie for about a hour and her new friend has already worn her out. James still stands by his TARDIS. Pinkie picks up Dash’s toys.
‘Pinks, you are too fun,’ Dash sighs. ‘I don’t think I’ll have the energy to play with my big sis when she gets home from work.’
‘Big sis? I didn’t know you had a big sister,’ Pinkie replies. ‘I know your mom is...’
James stops Pinkie from finishing.
Dash rolls over. ‘Yeah. My big sis is the greatest. We always do stuff together. Sometimes, we share the same bed, and she tells me all the coolest stories, like the Headless Horse or the Olden Pony.’ Her eyes dart. ‘I wasn’t scared of them at all!’
‘Sounds like you have a great sister,’ James comments.
‘Duh. She gets me all the coolest toys. We always hang out together when she doesn’t have work, and one day we are going to move to Cloudsdale together! It’s gonna be awesome!’
Pinkie looks at James, confused. The sound of a door opening and closing is heard outside the room. Dash hops up.
‘Big sis is back!’
The filly peeks out of the room. Pinkie looks out as well. A pale blue pegasus mare no older than Pinkie stands down a hallway. Two more pegasi trot up. One is a dark green stallion. The other is a beige mare.
‘About time you returned,’ the stallion scolds.
‘The filly has been extra noisy the past hour,’ the mare snorts.
‘I’ll have a word with her,’ the blue pegasus sighs.
‘You have to be more strict or else she will turn out undisciplined,’ the stallion grunts.
‘Yeah. Because that worked so well on me.’
‘If you had listened to us in the first place, you wouldn’t have ended up with that bat freak and thrown your life away.’
The younger mare fumes. ‘And if you had let me be with Windsong, I would have had his support with Rainbow.’ She looks away. ‘And now he can’t even help if he wanted to... You really shouldn’t speak ill of the dead...’
‘Dear, we’re just upset that you didn’t listen to our warnings,’ the older mare sighs. ‘You ended up having to drop out of school because of your pregnancy. You had such a bright future.’
‘Just because MY life didn’t turn out the way YOU wanted doesn’t mean it was wasted. Rainbow is a great kid, and I am going to raise her better than you did me.’
‘You can’t do that because you never finished school,’ the stallion huffs. ‘How can you even think of taking her to Cloudsdale if you can barely afford to take care of her here?’
‘We will find a way! I will save enough money and take my daugher as far away from you as possible! We will prove to you that we can live on our own!’
The stallion stands over the young mare. ‘If that is the way you want it, then so be it. Either find a new place or we will start charging rent. Starting this month.’
‘That’s unfair!’
‘Neither was my only daughter giving me a granddaughter before she was eighteen. That was unfair to all of us.’
The younger pegasus screams and gallops to Rainbow Dash’s room. She slams the door behind her and sobs. Dash stares up at the other pegasus. The mysterious closet door remains cracked.
‘Big sis?’ Dash says.
The young mare bends down and hugs the filly. ‘Oh, Rainbow. I am so sorry.’
‘Are you okay, big sis?’
‘Rainbow, I know this is really strange and probably hard for you to understand, but I am not your sister.’
‘You’re not?’
‘No. I am really your mother. I had you a lot younger than I should have... at least according to my father. He is wrong. You came at the right time, and you are perfect. Got that? Perfect. Don’t let anypony tell you different.’
Dash contorts her face as she tries to interpret what she has been told. ‘I think I get it, but who are the ponies we live with? Who is my dad?’
‘Your dad was a wonderful pony. I’ll tell you about him later but first, we have something more important to do.’
‘What is it?’
‘You know how we are planning on moving to Cloudsdale?’ Dash nods in reply. ‘Well, we’re going right now. I don’t know how we’re going to afford it, but we’ll make it.’
There is a tap on the wall.
‘Perhaps I can be of some help,’ James says.
Rainbow’s mother jumps back, wings flared. ‘Who are you!’
‘That’s Jimmy!’ Dash answers. ‘He and Pinks have been playing with me today.’
‘Hello!’ Pinkie greets.
‘What are you doing here?’ Rainbow’s mother asks.
‘We’re here to lend you a helping hoof since you could really use one,’ James explains. ‘I’m offering to take you to Cloudsdale free of charge, as well as some other perks.’
Rainbow’s mother looks at the strange stallion and mare that have spent an unknown amount of time alone in her daughter’s bedroom doing Celestia knows what. She turns to the door to the home where the parents who raised her live, then back to James. ‘Thanks. Start packing.’
‘Way ahead of you,’ Pinkie replies, motioning to the TARDIS.
Rainbow’s mother looks inside and gasps. ‘Whoa.’
Dash follows her mother. ‘This is so cool.’
James scans the room before ushering everypony into the TARDIS. Rainbow’s mother gawks at the ship while her daughter gallops away. James trots to the control console and pulls a switch.
‘Pinkie, get Dash for me,’ the stallion says.
Pinkie nods and searches for Dash.
‘It will only take a second, but there are some things I would like to go over first,’ James says.
Rainbow’s mother nods.
James motions to some boxes beside the young mare. ‘First, I hope we got everything. We packed all of the toys, clothes, bedding, everything that looked important. Basically, just cleared the room. … And the fridge while you were arguing with your parents. Got a little hungry while working.’
‘How did you do all of that in a few minutes?’
The stallion smiles. ‘As your daughter will one day consistently point out, time travel is’ -- he squeezes his cheeks together -- ‘SO AWESOME!’
‘I agree with her.’
‘Second, I set up some things and left an information packet in your new home detailing everything you need to know: address, new phone number, area map with key interests marked, work schedule...’
‘Whoa, whoa, whoa. Work schedule?’
‘You’ll be starting at the absolute bottom rung with the weather service, but there is plenty of room for advancement.’
‘Got her!’ Pinkie calls as she trots back with a soaking Rainbow Dash on her back. ‘Found her in the swimming pool.’
‘Swimming pool?!’ Rainbow’s mother is surprised.
‘Which one?’ James asks.
‘Sorry, Jimmy,’ Dash apologizes.
The stallion ruffles the filly’s mane. ‘Forget all about it. Seriously.’
Dash sways a bit then falls asleep. James lifts her and gives her to her mother.
‘What did you do?’ the young mare asks.
‘Just a little psychic rearrangement. She cannot know who Pinkie or I are just yet.’
‘Dashie won’t remember me?’ Pinkie tears up.
‘Don’t worry, Pinks,’ Rainbow’s mother assures. ‘I’m sure something of you will survive.’
James powers down the TARDIS. ‘Now, there is one condition for receiving my help.’
‘What is it?’
‘You have to do your best to raise Rainbow Dash, but I think you are up to the task. I recommend you start by taking her out to celebrate once she wakes. There is a nice little place near your new home. You never know who you are going to meet. And don't forget to teach her the value of loyalty. No matter what happens, be there for her and she will do the same.’
‘Right. Thank you.’
James opens the doors, sonics the clouds so he can walk on them and helps unload the boxes. Rainbow’s mother sets her daughter on a small couch.
‘Thank you for your help,’ Rainbow’s mom says, bowing. ‘I have no idea who you are, but you really helped me out.’
James returns the bow. ‘It was our pleasure. Right, Pinkie?’
Pinkie nervously kicks the ground. ‘Um, if you don’t mind me asking, what happened to Dashie’s father?’
Rainbow’s mother sighs despondently. ‘Windsong was my coltfriend when I was still in school. He was the absolute sweetest bat pony you would ever meet. Long story short, one thing led to another, and I had Rainbow Dash. I had to drop out of school to raise her, since my parents refused to help. Windsong’s parents forced him to enlist in the Lunar Guard. A while back, there was an unicorn that was using his magic to brainwash ponies and griffins. Windsong’s unit was assigned to infiltrate the unicorn’s camp. They were able to free everypony, but Windsong... He was the one who defeated the unicorn. … He was posthumously awarded medals for valor. Princess Celestia even came to the funeral. Yet, my parents still hate him.’
Pinkie hugs the other mare. ‘Thank you for telling me. Don’t worry. You will find somepony you and Dashie will love. I know it.’
‘Right. Thank you again for the help.’ Rainbow’s mother waves as the TARDIS disappears. She nuzzles Dash. ‘Rainbow, time to wake up.’
The filly moans. ‘Mom?’
‘That’s right. I bet you’re hungry. Let’s go out to celebrate reaching Cloudsdale.’
‘We’re in Cloudsdale already! I missed the whole trip!’
‘You didn’t miss anything. Besides, we have a lot to talk about...’
Rainbow’s mother leads her out of their new home. While the mare locks up, a rainbow-maned stallion trots past and checks her out. Dash tries alerting her mother, but she misses the stallion. Another neighbor is returning to her home as the family leaves. The pink pegasus comes over.
‘So, you’re my new neighbors? I’m Fyrefly,’ the pegasus greets. ‘If ya need anything, just ask me.’
‘I’m Cloudburst, and this is my daughter Rainbow Dash,’ Rainbow’s mother replies.
‘Rainbow Dash, eh?’ Fyrefly says, looking the filly over. ‘You’re pretty cool.’ She nods. ‘Yeah. You’re at least twenty percent cooler than any other filly I’ve met.’
Back in Ponyville, the local daycare bustles with activity. Thanks to the regular caretaker winning a limited time offer to visit a fancy spa in Canterlot, two substitutes are filling in. While Pinkie wrangles foals in the yard, James tends to the ones inside. A freckled orange pony stares up at the substitute.
‘Yer cute,’ the filly Applejack says. ‘Ya wanna get hitched?’
James laughs. ‘Wait until you’re older. Maybe you’ll think differently.’
‘But Ah wanna marry ya now!’ She stares up, frowning. ‘... Ya’ll have t’ do somethin’ ‘bout yer mane first.’
The stallion laughs again. ‘Like I don’t hear that enough. What’s the rush, anyway?’
‘Well, uh...’ The filly kicks the ground a bit. ‘Like Ah said, Ah think yer cute. And Ah gotta beat mah brother at somethin’!’
Applejack looks across the room. A large red colt stares stoically into the distance as several fillies and a couple colts surround him.
‘He’s startin’ real school soon and Ah know he’s workin’ on gettin’ his cutie mark befer me, but Ah’m gonna get it first. Ah’m gonna try everythin’ ‘til Ah get it.’
James laughs and ruffles Applejack’s mane. ‘Best of luck with that. Word of advice: it is good to dream big, but family is where the heart is.’
Applejack fixes her mane. ‘Yer weird.’
The stallion keeps laughing. Pinkie comes inside carrying a pony dripping with mud.
‘Found her!’ the mare declares.
‘All hail, Rarity! Queen of the mud ponies!’
The queen is dethroned as Pinkie drops her in a sink and turn the tap on. There is a flash as James takes a photo on his mobile.
‘Hello, Twitter,’ the stallion laughs as he sends the picture through time.
While Pinkie washes her screaming future friend, an earlier incarnation of the mare trots by with Raspberry outside a nearby window.
The closet door opens in The Power Block’s living room. Pinkie trots out, deep in thought. James follows and locks up. He pats Pinkie on the back.
‘Come on. Let’s do dinner. We’ve had a busy dayish period of time.’
‘Wait,’ Pinkie says. ‘We still have to settle the bet.’
James sighs. ‘I think it is settled. While we were able to help Rainbow Dash and her mother and it was fun caring for the foals, we didn’t really change anything with the foals and Raspberry... She refused your help outright. I hate to admit it, but I won.’
‘No, you didn’t.’ The mare shakes her head. ‘The bet was to make everypony happy. The foals had a great time with us. I was able to make my sisters and mother happy. And Raspberry...’ Pinkie smiles. ‘When I mentioned you, you should have seen how happy she was. Just the mention of your name filled her with joy. We really did make her happy, even if her cousin was a total flankhole.’
James smiles. ‘I guess you are right, Pinkie.’ He kisses her cheek. ‘So, what do we do now? Travel everywhere helping everypony?’
‘No. We don’t have to since you do that already.’ Pinkie gives James a big hug and kisses him. ‘You really are the greatest.’
‘I’m just a pony, you know?’
Pinkie laughs and kisses him again. ‘Oh, if we see Discord again, I’ll have to tell him my answer changed.’
‘Really? To what?’
Pinkie knocks James to the ground and pins him down. ‘Same thing Twilight Sparkle wants...’
‘Try to take over the world?’
Pinkie giggles and shakes her head. She leans down and gives the stallion a big kiss.