//------------------------------//
// Illusion of Ponyville 
// Story: The Wandering Physicist Adventures 
// by WanderingPhysicist 
//------------------------------//

Main Characters: TWP, Twilight, Trixie, Daring, Celestia
Cameos: Rei, Stormy, Dream Maker, Del
Original Start Date: January 19, 2013





        Rei paces nervously in her living room. Del watches her from the couch. Their neighbor, Dream Maker, trots out of their father’s bedroom. In the other room, James, Twilight and Daring lay on the bed. Trixie sits beside Stormy and meditates.
        ‘This is a very complex illusion,’ Trixie says. ‘Thank you for volunteering.’
        ‘Somepony has to be be onhoof if your spell messes up,’ Twilight snorts.
        Dream Maker returns to the room with a drink. Rei follows him inside.
        ‘Which is exactly why I asked you and Mr Dream to assist in this experiment,’ Trixie explains. ‘With you assisting me within the illusion and Dream on the outside monitoring us, we should be safe if something arises.’
        Rei tries pulling her father from the bed. ‘Daddy, don’t do it. I have a bad feeling.’
        ‘Rei, we got enough crap from Lucas when we asked him to help out,’ Stormy groans. ‘Do you doubt Trixie’s magic will work?’
        Rei shakes her head. ‘It is not that. I just have a bad feeling that my daddy won’t come back.’
        ‘I’ll be fine, Rei,’ James assures. ‘I’ve been working on this with Trixie for a while now. We’ll be fine.’
        Rei whimpers and goes out to sit with Del. She hugs the small changeling and whines.
        Twilight looks at Daring. ‘Why are you here too?’
        ‘Well, Lucas didn’t want to volunteer because he is a jerk and doesn’t trust Vicki’s kid. The comic geeks weren’t game. Rei was too worried. That just left me to fill the hole.’ Daring winks at Trixie. ‘Hopefully, she is as open as Vicki for some fun afterwards.’
        Trixie blushes. ‘My coltfriend is in the room!’
        The lusty pegasus winks. ‘Hasn’t stopped me before. Just ask granny... and grampy.’ She smirks. ‘Or both at once.’
        Trixie’s face turns a brighter red than her coltfriend, who seems unfazed by the comment. ‘Aren’t you going to say something!’ the mare shouts.
        Stormy shrugs. ‘Daring, touch her and blah, blah, blah, smoking ashes.’
        Daring laughs at the weakly delivered threat.
        Trixie goes over to Stormy and whispers, ‘You aren’t actually considering...’
        ‘She won’t do anything.’ The young stallion glares at the pegasus. ‘She knows not to mess with me.’
        Daring laughs again. ‘Rarity said come to the back for the fitting, and I went straight to his room,’ she explains. ‘Totally worth the black eye from Rarity to set up that joke, after Stormy forcibly ejected me from the building, of course.’
        The older stallions in the room chuckle while the other mares groan.
        ‘Daddy! Don’t do it! It isn’t safe!’ Rei shouts, as Del tries comforting her.
        ‘We’ll be fine, Rei,’ James shouts back. ‘Just let Trixie explain everything, and you’ll see how safe it is.’
        ‘Thank you.’ Trixie moves to where Rei can see her. ‘Now, remember when my idiot uncle and cousin tried attacking your lovely town, they sent us into those horrible illusions? Well, those were potentially fatal.’
        Rei squeaks and hugs Del tight.
        ‘Anyway, I have perfected the tougher version of the spell that keeps the ones within the illusion free from harm.’ She goes to the bed. ‘My intent is to place clients into illusions of their favorite media, for a nominal fee of course, to let them live out their fantasies.’ She growls at James and Twilight to get them to move so she will not be next to Daring. ‘Now, I have been working with Mr Wanderer on testing a gaming scenario. I believe I am well-enough versed in the game to provide an accurate re-creation with his assistance. Twilight, Miss Do and I will aid in the game. In theory, we should be done in about thirty minutes.’
        ‘See, Rei?’ James laughs nervously. ‘Perfectly safe.’
        The young mare whines again.
        ‘Don’t worry, Rei,’ Dream says. ‘I have plenty of experience with illusion spells. If anything goes wrong, I’m the perfect pony to help out.’
        Rei whimpers and takes off with Del in her forelegs. She flies into the room and kisses her father on the head. ‘Just promise to come back.’
        James makes the motions of a Pinkie Promise. Rei sighs and sits by Stormy.
        ‘If we are all ready, shall we begin?’ Trixie asks.
        The others nod. Trixie powers up the spell on her horn. Beams of light shoot from the tip of her horn and enter the others’ foreheads. The four ponies lay their heads down as the illusion begins.
…
        James, Twilight, Trixie and Daring appear on a grassy plain. The ponies look around at their surroundings. James adjusts a red cap and blue overalls. Twilight turns around and pushes a green cap over her horn.
        ‘Mare-io U? Really?’ the incredulous alicorn asks.
        The stallion grins. ‘I thought it would be something fun and simple for us to enjoy.’
        ‘Why am I a squirrel?’ Daring asks as she glides around.
        ‘Closest thing to a pegasus in the game.’
        Twilight thinks and casts a spell. A small fireball pops out of her horn. Trixie laughs and casts a spell. A small ice ball pops out of her horn.
        Twilight turns to her coltfriend. ‘What did you give yourself?’
        ‘Twilight, you’ve seen me play. I wanted to balance things a bit.’
        ‘So you gave yourself nothing to hold yourself back a bit?’
        James floats around in a bubble. ‘Maybe.’
        Twilight pops the bubble with her horn. ‘You are not going to bubble through the whole game!’
        ‘Just showing the n00bs how we’re going carry them.’ James trots forward and points. ‘Onward to save the princess and to glory and cake!’
        James gallops away. Twilight sighs and chases afterward. Trixie looks at Daring and shrugs. She gallops after her friends, leaving Daring to drift around randomly.

        Trixie and Daring lay panting outside of a castle. Beside them, James and Twilight go over a map.
        ‘That, that, and... I think we got them all,’ Twilight says.
        ‘Told you we could hundred percent the game in a matter of hours,’ James laughs.
        The other mares groan.
        ‘Neither of you were used as a living projectile,’ Daring grumbles.
        ‘And you didn’t spend most of the illusion in a bubble,’ Trixie huffs.
        ‘Well, maybe, you could learn to play better,’ Twilight taunts.
        ‘Trixie is adequate enough at games. This is different.’
        ‘Then maybe you need to exercise more.’
        ‘The same can be said about somepony else here.’
        Twilight gasps in shock.
        ‘I’m not that out of shape,’ James defends.
        ‘You weren’t used as a hang glider either...’ Daring grumbles.
        ‘What? I thought you always wanted me on top of you.’
        The pegasus narrows her eyes and growls. ‘I am going to do things to you while you sleep.’
        ‘Oh, like you don’t try to do that already.’ James turns to Trixie. ‘I guess we are through. You can end the spell now.’
        ‘With pleasure.’ Trixie focuses her magic, but nothing happens. ‘One more time.’
        The unicorn focuses as hard as she can, but only a few sparks shoot from her horn.
        ‘Do you need any help?’ Twilight asks.
        ‘Please,’ Trixie pants. ‘I set enough failsafes in the illusion that a simple counterspell should dissolve it.’
        Twilight joins Trixie in trying to cast the counterspell, but nothing happens. The others wait patiently.
        ‘Why isn’t this working?’ Twilight complains. ‘What did you do wrong?’
        ‘ME! Why do you think it is Trixie’s fault!’
        ‘Well, it is your family’s spell that you modified and you cast on all of us.’
        ‘I can see how you think it is Trixie’s fault, but I assure you that I have nothing to do with our predicament.’
        ‘Oh? Then who is at fault?’
        ‘Well, Trixie hates to sound crude, but I believe Mr Wanderer might be at fault.’
        ‘Me?’ James points to himself.
        ‘As you know, the spell taps into the target for recreating the world of the illusion. Trixie was out of control of the illusion once it started, but we should have been released once the game ended.’ She turns and glares at Twilight. ‘And before you say anything, I tested it on others besides myself and my counterspell should work!’
        Everypony looks at James.
        ‘So, I am in control of the illusion?’ the stallion asks.
        Instantly, the whole world changes. The group stands outside of a flashy casino. James is dressed in light armor with a giant sword on his back. Twilight wears a pink dress. Daring has a large gauntlet on her left foreleg and a giant shuriken on her back. Trixie is dark blue suit.
        ‘Ooo. That was cool,’ The Wandering Cloud comments.
        ‘James. Try getting us out of here,’ Twilight sighs.
        The stallion nods and focuses. The scene changes to the group on an airship. James wears light blue armor and a long blue cape with his mane tied in a ponytail. Trixie changes to yellow and purple armor. Daring appears in a white shirt with a blue vest. Twilight wears a red leotard and purple sash.
        ‘Okay. Not what I meant,’ Twilight huffs.
        ‘I look pretty cool,’ Daring comments as she adjusts a bandana on her head.
        ‘You look like a thief,’ Trixie snorts.
        ‘That’s “treasure hunter”! Besides, you look like some crazed actress,’ the pegasus growls.
        ‘How dare you? I am an illusionist, not some opera floozy.’
        ‘Do you think they get the references?’ Twilight whispers to James.
        ‘Don’t care. I’m just loving this.’ The stallion gasps. ‘While we have the airship, we should see Thamasa!’
        ‘James! We have to get out of here,’ Twilight snaps. ‘Please try and focus on ending the illusion.’
        ‘Okay. Fine,’ James sighs. ‘But that doesn’t mean we can’t explore a bit while we do so.’
        Twilight groans and goes to operate the airship while James focuses on ending the illusion and the other mares keep bickering.

        Rei stares at her father and whines. Del sits in Rei’s lap and watches her sister. Stormy and Dream trot around the room, waiting for the illusion to end.
        ‘Dream, it has been more than thirty minutes,’ Rei whines. ‘They said they would be back now.’
        Dream sighs. ‘They are fine. It isn’t too long past the estimate.’
        ‘It is almost twenty minutes over.’
        The unicorn pauses. ‘Okay. That is a long time. Better check on them.’ Dream powers a spell that forms an aura around his and Trixie’s head. His eyes snap open. ‘They’re trapped!’
        Rei bolts up, dropping Del, and grabs her father. ‘Daddy!’
        ‘Did the spell mess up?’ Stormy asks.
        ‘The spell seems to be working fine,’ Dream reports. ‘There is some other force keeping them in the illusion.’
        ‘Can you break them out of it?’
        The other unicorn shakes his head. ‘Any attempt could damage their psyches. Whatever is holding them in there doesn’t want them to leave.’
        ‘Could it be the troll that trapped us the first time?’
        Rei shakes her head. ‘No. Luna sealed him away. There is no way he is free.’
        ‘Hmm. That might be the solution,’ Dream says.
        The small pegasus tackles the stallion. Electricity sparks between her black-tipped, flared wings. ‘Don’t you dare think of releasing that creature on my father!’
        ‘Not that, Rei. Luna. She has the power to enter our dreams. She can help find out the cause of the trap.’
        ‘You’re right!’
        ‘If you can let me up, I can write the princess for help.’
        ‘Spike! I’ll get Spike!’
        Rei lets Dream up and disappears in a flash, leaving a trail of electricity behind her.
        Del climbs on the bed and nuzzles her father. ‘Daddy will be okay?’
        Stormy sits by Trixie and strokes her mane. ‘They’ll be fine, Del. No need to worry.’ He sighs. ‘No need to worry at all...’

        The trapped ponies sit on a beach. A large metal structure is out at sea. Daring lays in the sand. She has on red pants and red wing covers, and there is a jewel in her mane. Trixie tends to her mane, now tied in a braid with leafs covering it. Twilight, wearing a purple skirt with a yellow bandana around her neck, glares at her coltfriend. James, in a green tunic, focuses as hard as he can.
        ‘Seriously,’ the stallion grunts. ‘It ain’t happening.’
        ‘Try harder!’ Twilight yells. ‘Before we get sent to another game.’
        ‘Actually, I don’t mind this one,’ Trixie comments as she plays with her mane.
        ‘Yeah,’ Daring agrees. ‘Ain’t like the sky is falling or anything.’
        ‘YES! IT IS! Right there!’ Twilight screams, pointing at the sky.
        ‘Where?’ Trixie asks.
        ‘THERE!’
        ‘Not seeing it.’
        Twilight growls and snaps her attention to the sky. It is a calm and sunny day with light cloud cover.
        The princess is shocked. ‘Where is the...’
        ‘I turned the moon off,’ James says. ‘Wanted to have as much time as possible to get this right.’
        ‘Wait. You can turn off elements of the game?’
        ‘I guess so...’
        ‘But our appearances automatically change...’ Twilight taps her hoof on her chin as she thinks. ‘Aha!’
        ‘So, our appearances must be subconsciously determined by how you see us,’ Daring says.
        ‘So, he sees me as some sort of princess?’ Trixie muses. ‘How appropriate.’
        Twilight leans in. ‘So, me as Cremia, Terra and Aerith...’
        James blushes and looks away. Twilight smiles and nuzzles her coltfriend.
        ‘The revelation that Mr Wanderer cares for you in some form and for some reason aside,’ Trixie groans, ‘that still doesn’t solve our current situation. If our magic doesn’t work and Mr Wanderer cannot release us from the illusion, how are we to free ourselves?’
        ‘I think we should keep trying what we know,’ Twilight replies. ‘There has to be away for us to break the illusion.’
        ‘Or we can use that big spinny triangle,’ Daring says, pointing to the sky.
        The other mares look up. Twilight’s jaw drops. Three golden triangles come from the sky and land in James’ extended hoof.
        ♪ I got the thing! ♬ the stallion sings.
        Everypony stares at James for several moments, waiting for something to happen.
        James snorts and puts the Triforce under his cap. ‘Well, it was worth a shot.’
        Twilight facehoofs.

        ‘Daddy! Wake up! Daddy!’ Del calls as she nuzzles James’ cheek. ‘Daddy, come back to Del...’
        ‘He’ll be back soon,’ Dream comforts. ‘Luna will come and...’
        The sound of hooffalls are heard coming up the stairs. Stormy gets up and looks out.
        ‘Guess again,’ the unicorn says as he backs into the room.
        Princess Celestia ducks as she enters the increasingly-cramped bedroom. She trots slower than usual with Rei wrapped around one of her hind legs. The princess scans the room.
        ‘Save them, Asa-hime!’ Rei begs.
        Dream bows. ‘Princess Celestia. It is good to have your assistance, but we were expecting Princess Luna.’
        ‘While my sister’s realm does include the dreamworld,’ -- Celestia smirks and moves Trixie so she can sit next to James -- ‘I have had experience in this area.  Besides, my sister is indisposed at the moment.’
        ‘Translation: when you heard you would be in Mr Wanderer’s mind, you made your sister stay in Canterlot while you came instead,’ Stormy interprets.
        Celestia looks up from nuzzling the stallion next to her. ‘That is not true at all!’
        ‘I don’t care!’ Rei yells. ‘If somepony can save my daddy, I don’t care if it is Discord.’
        ‘He might have been available, too,’ Stormy points out.
        The princess snorts at the smug unicorn. She turns to Dream. ‘I assume you have monitored the illusion. What do you know?’
        ‘The illusion was cast by Trixie,’ Dream explains. ‘It was to place them in an illusionary video games scenario made up by Mr Wanderer and was supposed to last thirty minutes. That was over a hour ago. I checked the status of the illusion, but it would have been too dangerous to use any counterspells I know.’
        Celestia nods. She casts an analyzer spell of her own. ‘You were right to not force them from the illusion. The cause of the entrapment is from within the illusion. A powerful force is keeping them from releasing the spell on their end.’ She takes a deep breath and powers a spell. ‘I will enter the illusion myself and advise them on how to break the spell. They will be out before we know it.’
        ‘That’s what Trixie said,’ Stormy groans. ‘I’ll start drafting another letter to Luna.’
        Rei roars and tackles her friend. ‘It WILL work! My daddy WILL be saved!’
        Stormy stares up at the furious pegasus pinning him to the ground. ‘Trixie is in there too. If you think I am not worried about her and your father, then we are not as close friends as I thought.’
        Rei frowns and helps her friend up. ‘Sorry. I am just really scared right now.’
        ‘Calm yourself, little one,’ Celestia soothes. ‘Our friends will return to us soon.’
        The princess casts her spell and enters the illusion. Rei growls, gets out a thick, black marker and draws a line across Celestia’s face.
        ‘That is for calling me little,’ the young mare snorts.
…
        Celestia appears within the illusion. She looks around. The others are on a beach, but The Wandering Cloud is back at the helm and focusing on breaking the spell. The princess smiles and trots forward.
        ‘Have no fear, Twilight Sparkle, Mr Wanderer, I am here to help,’ Celestia greets.
        ‘Princess! Thank you so...’ Twilight pauses. Her eye starts twitching. ‘What are you wearing?’
        Celestia looks down. She is wearing a white tank top and black mini skirt. ‘Is this a reference to something?’
        Twilight snaps her attention to her coltfriend. ‘Why is she dressed as Tifa!’
        The stallion glances to his side. ‘No, she’s not.’
        The angry princess looks back. Celestia is now (barely) wearing a very scant tunic that covers her rump in the loosest of terms.
        ‘Oh, I like this one,’ the older princess comments. ‘I take it it means there is some sort of sexual attraction going on.’
        The Wandering Cloud turns bright red. Twilight groans and storms away. The other mares giggle at her.
        ‘Did I say something wrong?’ Celestia asks, now wearing a white blouse, long black skirt and a red bow around her neck.
        ‘It’ll be fine, Mitsuru-sempai,’ The Wandering Cloud sighs.

        Celestia trots around the beach, scanning everything with her magic. She is now in a long tight-fitting black dress. Twilight groans at her mentor’s attire as she rejoins the others. The Wandering Cloud gives her a sheepish grin.
        ‘If you can change our form at will,’ Twilight huffs, ‘why are we all stuck in the same game?’
        Trixie’s outfit changes to her yellow and purple armor. James changes to wearing black bombers jacket and a scar appears on his face. Daring changes to a yellow and red scarf and green mini-skirt.
        ‘I don’t know what you are talking about,’ James replies, trying to avoid Twilight’s gaze.
        Twilight sighs. ‘If these are any indication of how you truly see us...’
        The stallion grins. ‘But you’re Aerith.’
        The princess shakes her head. ‘As long as I’m not Rikku. She’s a little annoying.’
        ‘Phew. Glad that ain’t me too,’ Daring says. ‘Jimmy loves me, right? I ain’t annoying at all.’
        James avoids making eye contact.
        ‘Well, poopies.’
        ‘Oh, great. I’m the opera floozy again,’ Trixie groans.
        Twilight smirks. ‘Actually, Celes is...’
        James covers Twilight’s mouth and hurriedly shakes his head. Celestia finishes the scan and joins the others.
        ‘I believe I have found the source of the entrapment,’ the princess reports.
        ‘That’s great, Princess!’ Twilight cheers. She turns to James. ‘Can’t you do something about her attire?’
        There is a flash, and Celestia is wearing a skin-tight blue jumpsuit. Twilight instantly facepalms.
        The princess examines herself. ‘I like this one.’ She smirks. ‘So does she.’
        Daring’s wings stick straight up.
        ‘I believe that illustrates my discovery quite well. We are being kept here by Mr Wanderer’s subconscious.’
        ~DUN DUN DUN!~
        Everypony looks at James.
        ‘I think I found the sound controls...’ the stallion mumbles as music starts playing from nowhere.
        ‘Indeed,’ Celestia coughs. ‘It seems something within your subconscious wants to keep all of you here. It is resisting Twilight Sparkle’s and Trixie’s counterspells as well as Mr Wanderer’s conscious efforts to end the illusion.’
        Trixie steps forward. ‘So you’re telling me that Mr Wanderer has taken over my mind and magic to trap us in the illusion.’
        ‘In a manner of speaking...’
        ‘If it is my subconscious, then it is not my fault!’ James defends. ‘What reason would I have to trap us here?’
        Daring puts a wing around the stallion. ‘We all have our things we are running from.’
        ‘What am I running from? I have a wonderful life. I love my daughters. I have the greatest friends. Everything is great!’
        ‘I used to say that a lot too...’ the pegasus sighs as she backs away.
        Twilight tries comforting her coltfriend. ‘James, I know you used to deal with...’
        James glares at Twilight, silencing her. ‘I am fine. I am perfectly fine.’
        ‘We just want to...’
        A blue aura surrounds the stallion, and he disappears.
        ‘James! Please!’ Twilight calls. ‘Don’t run from us! We... love you.’
        Celesta puts a hoof on her student’s shoulder. ‘Do not worry, Twilight Sparkle. We will help him and find a solution to our problem.’

        Dream stares at a clock. ‘This is taking far too long. I should go in.’
        Rei shakes her head. ‘We already have daddy and the princess trapped. Five more minutes.’
        ‘Daddy...’ Del whimpers as she licks her father’s face.
        ‘Rei, it has been another ten minutes,’ Stormy says. ‘I trust Celestia as much as the next pony, but I think we need to call in Luna now.’
        ‘NO! I won’t risk my mother, even if it is to save my father! I don’t want to lose anypony else...’
        Stormy sighs. He trots over to the upset mare and gives her a quick kiss.
        ‘What was that for?’ Rei gasps.
        ‘You have been pestering me for one for over a year. I felt it was the right time since you need some small pick-me-up.’
        Rei smiles and gives her friend a hug. ‘You are the best friend anypony can have.’ She grips tighter. ‘But we are not risking anypony else. Understood?’
        ‘Perfectly.’
        The two young adults sit and watch their loved ones once more. Rei leans against Stormy’s shoulder.

        Trixie steps off a boat onto a small island with a lighthouse at the center. A creature with large red ears darts into the lighthouse. The unicorn raises an eyebrow and follows. The creature leads her down to a small room. Trixie lets out an annoyed sigh when she enters the room.
        ‘How many times does The Great and Powerful Trixie have to snap up out of a depression?’
        ‘That assumes you did the first time,’ James growls back.
        ‘You forget who follows your twitter,’ Trixie snorts. ‘You have been in pretty high spirits the past few months.’
        ‘You heard the princess! Obviously, there is something wrong with me if I don’t want to return to my daughters or my friends or my wife! I want to be trapped in a video game forever!’
        Trixie stares, shocked. ‘What was the last thing you wish to return to?’
        ‘Life! My life!’ The upset stallion kicks the ground.
        ‘Mr Wanderer... Think about that. Think about what you really said.’
        ‘I know what I said,’ James snarls.
        ‘Then why are you angry about it? Embrace that! Let it overcome your sadness!’ The mare looks away. ‘That is what I did with Stormy.’ James glances back at Trixie. ‘I thought I would be alone, but I let him in and I cannot imagine us apart.’
        ‘Which is why you travel all the time despite having an apartment in the town where he lives.’
        ‘Stormy accepts that I must travel to make a living!’ The unicorn takes a deep breath and powers down the spell on her horn. She instead wraps James in a hug. ‘Tell her. Ask her. Put her where the hole is.’
        James stands, dropping Trixie to the ground. He points an egg-shaped device at a wall and fires an orange portal. The stallion trots through, leaving Trixie alone.

        Daring trots through a medieval town in the pouring rain. She finds a building with a sign featuring a silver unicorn on it. The pegasus enters. A large earth pony mare looks at the visitor from behind a bar.
        ‘Down there,’ the barmaid says, nodding towards a back door.
        Daring nods and goes down to a basement room. She sits at a table, pulls a gun from under her wing and sets it on the table.
        ‘Just one bullet,’ the mare says. ‘You know what to do.’
        James picks up the gun and points it at Daring’s head. The pegasus does not flinch. The stallion throws the gun to the side.
        ‘Why the hell was that too hard for you to do too!’ James shouts.
        The pegasus slams her forehooves on the table. ‘Because I am not as strong as you! You ever thought about that! You are too strong to give in to this bullshit and you know it! Stop being a little pussy and realize that this is not the real you!’ Daring points above her. ‘The real you is the one out there! You are really sleeping next to the pony you love! Your daughters are probably worried sick for their father! They love you more than the former archaeologist who was retarded enough to fall for you, and you are turning your backs on all of us by feeling down on yourself!’
        ‘Daring... do you know how hard...?’
        ‘I lost my mom because we were too poor to afford the medicine that could save her. I had too many friends die on all of my adventures.’ She leaps across the table and pins the stallion to the ground. ‘I had the gun to my head!’ She snorts. ‘I know how hard it can be, but I kept going because I had you there to help me. I would give everything I have to help you!’ She looks away. ‘I wish I could do that... You have the greatest mare I have ever met, and you are making her upset because you are scared that she will say “no” and you'll end up as lonely as that creepy, perverted pegasus who lives across the street.’ Daring lets up. ‘She won’t, and you are far from being as alone as that freak. You’re just too thick to see that.’
        ‘You saw the book,’ James says. ‘Who do you think the father is?’
        Daring traces the stallion’s mane with her hoof. ‘As long as your wife is okay with it...’
        ‘What if she is y..?’
        Daring covers James’ mouth and shakes her head. ‘She isn’t.’ She drops a crystalline wing on the ground. ‘Go where you need to go. If it is the wrong place, I will find you and smack some sense into you.’

        Celestia, now in a blue gi tied with an ornate obi, lands on a tropical island with a large volcano jutting from it. Very catchy music plays while she trots up to a solitary pony. Offshore, a red boat with a lion figurehead yawns. The princess sits next to The Wandering Squall.
        ‘You know,’ James sighs, ‘in this setting, you would technically be that boat there.’
        ‘Which sort of makes me wonder...’ Celestia takes a deep breath. ‘If I am seemingly dressed as those you have an attraction towards... why is it thou slept with our sister and not thee!’
        James smirks and looks up at the raging princess. Her rage is visible. The stallion calmly reaches up and boops the princess on the nose. She scowls and boops him back. A small giggle is heard from behind a large rock.
        Celestia sighs and lowers her hoof. ‘How long have you been feeling that way?’
        ‘How long have I not been?’ James sighs. A whimper comes from behind the rock. ‘No matter how much time I spend with Twilight and Pinkie and AJ, or how much I care for Rei and Del, it just only seems to cover up all of the loneliness and doubt.’ He leans back. ‘It is always there, reminding me how worthless I am.’
        ‘For a physicist, you are really an idiot, Mr Wanderer,’ Celestia groans. ‘You mention but a few of the ponies you have had an impact on, and you still think you are worthless? You forget all of the time you have helped your friends. You forget that Rei and Del would be absent a’ -- she covers her mouth -- ‘wonderful’ -- she uncovers her mouth -- ‘father. You forget all of the love you have spread.’
        ‘Even if it was with your sister and not with you.’
        The princess holds back a scream. ‘You are confusing a physical relationship with an emotional one,’ she fumes. ‘What I am trying to say is that you are one of the least worthless ponies I have ever known.’ She wraps her forelegs around the stallion. ‘Even if you didn’t have the powers and technology you use to assist us in our daily lives, just the fact that you are a (rumored) good father and (from what I heard) a wonderful coltfriend. You have plenty to proud and happy about. Let your worries fade and replace them with all of the joy in your life.’
        James looks up, putting him muzzle to muzzle with Celestia. ‘You have been channeling all of your Summer Sun Celebration speeches from the past three hundred years.’
        ‘And you just kissed me in front of your love.’
        ‘You wish this is a kiss.’
        ‘You wish this wasn’t.’ Celestia smirks. ‘Your tail is thumping right into my...
        ‘Well, your hooves are on my...’
        The princess screams as a purple magical aura wraps her and throws her into the ocean. The same aura pulls the stallion to face Twilight. The furious princess is dressed in a blue dress under a silver breastplate and leg guards. She levitates a large golden sword in her coltfriend’s face.
        ‘What was that?’ the unicorn growls.
        ‘I was going to say “haunch”!’ Celestia shouts. She looks up at The King of Red Lions. ‘What are you looking at?’
        The boat looks away.
        James smiles. ‘I was going to say “stomach”. ... Good to see you realized that is a video game too.’
        Twilight growls and puts the sword away. ‘Wasn’t my idea...’
        ‘Yes, it was.’ James gets up and hugs his fillyfriend. ‘I want to go home now.’
        ‘I know you do.’
        ‘I don’t want to be sad any more. I want to see our friends again. I want to spend time with my kids’ -- the two ponies change to James in a blue tunic and Twilight in a white dress -- ‘I want to be with you.’
        ‘I want to be with you, too, James.’
        ‘Just kiss her already!’
        ‘You heard the boat! Do it!’ Celestia adds.
        The two ponies turn and glare at their audience. A blade of ice slashes at them, getting Celestia to dive underwater and hitting King of Red Lions. They look back at each other. Their outfits change to white and blue armor on James and a white and gold cape on Twilight.
        ‘I’ll love you forever, Twilight.’
        ‘If what you told me about your species is true, I know you will.’
        ‘And I want to spend it all with you.’
        ‘James...’
        Twilight leans in and kisses James. The illusion starts dissolving around them. Celestia sticks her tongue at The King of Red Lions as the boat disappears. The princess looks around as Trixie and Daring appear beside her while the island evaporates. Each of the ponies poof out one by one. Twilight breaks the kiss and gasps when she gets a mental image of a small purple box hidden in Del’s room. James grins sheepishly as he leaves. Trixie breaths a sigh of relief when she becomes the last pony in her mind before she casts her final counterspell.
…
        The five ponies in the illusion moan as they wake. Despite Del licking the back of his head, James has somehow moved to embrace and kiss Twilight. Celestia grunts and rolls off the bed.
        ‘I could down an entire bottle of aspirin,’ Daring moans.
        James breaks the kiss. ‘Not when I’m around.’
        ‘You know what I mean.’
        ‘DADDY!’ Rei squeals as she hugs her father.
        The stallion groans. Del happily moans as she joins the hug. Stormy helps Trixie off the bed and kisses her.
        Dream helps Celestia to her hooves. ‘Glad to have you back.’
        ‘Glad to be back,’ the princess replies.
        ‘You were under for a long time,’ the unicorn says. ‘You should get checked out before returning to normal life.’
        ‘Rei, get sensei,’ James tells his daughter. ‘Everypony else, to the closet.’
        Rei zips out to get Nurse Redheart. Dream, Del and Stormy help the others to the TARDIS. Twilight holds James back a bit.
        ‘So, um, was what you said a..?’ the princess asks.
        James looks away. ‘Um, well, no... If it were, it would be special...’
        ‘It doesn’t have to be special. It just has to be you.’
        James smiles at Twilight. ‘It is for you. It has to be perfect.’
        Twilight laughs. ‘Has anypony ever told you you are really weird?’ She kisses him. ‘I look forward to it.’
        The two ponies enter the TARDIS, tails entwined.