Spike laid in his bed upstairs, his audacious snores muffled by his pillow. Twilight had sent him there naught but a few minutes ago. The hands of the ornate wooden clock which hung on her wall teetered around three O'clock, certainly no time for a young drake to be up and Gallivanting about. Besides, she had wanted some alone time with their new guest.
"So..." said Twilight awkwardly, scratching the back of her head with a hoof. Just how did one start a conversation with a member of a species virtually unknown to ponykind? Before her lay the beaten and bruised changeling, still spitting the salty taste of sock-sweat out of its mouth. She supposed it was best to start with the obvious. "You're a changeling, huh?"
The black, bony creature spat one last glob of phlegm on to the carpet (which Twilight made a mental note to wash later) before addressing her with a nervous smile. Its sheepish grin revealed a mess of broken and missing teeth that Twilight could only describe as a dentist's worst nightmare. She winced at the shattered remains of the changeling's teeth. Applejack certainly hadn't held back.
"I uh, guess so?" it answered, giving its head a small tilt to the side. There it was again, that lurking sense of de-ja-vu in the back of her mind. Where had she heard that voice before? She discarded her suspicions for the time being, promising herself to brood over them later. Right now there was a changeling in need of interrogation, although 'interrogating' probably wasn't the right word for it.
Said changeling cleared its throat, reminding Twilight it was waiting on her for some kind of response.
There was a long, pregnant pause in which Twilight desperately grabbed at straws of conversation. 'C'mon Twilight, think!' she mentally screamed at herself. Why of all the ponies in Equestria to make the first non-violent contact with a foreign race did it have to be her, the worst conversationalist in history? 'Just ask a couple of questions you'd ask your friends! Wait! All my friends are mares, this thing's a stallion (I think), and that changes everything!'
The changeling arched its brow and stared curiously at the librarian as the fiercest battle in the history of Equestria raged on in her noggin.
'Oh great, now it's staring at me! Just tell it your name, that's a good starting point, right?'
"I'm Twilight... Twilight Sparkle." she said with as much pride and authority as she could muster (which at the moment, wasn't very much). "What's yours?" she worried that she may have been coming off as a little bit too friendly. It, or judging by the sound of its voice, he, was her prisoner after all. Still, she couldn't help but feel as if she knew the changeling from somewhere. Was it the body language? The awkward yet welcoming smile? That shy, quirky voice which sounded exactly like-
"Caramel."
Twilight stiffened with shock, and she swore that she could hear the dull 'thud' of her jaw hitting the floor. "What did you just say?" she asked in a voice barely louder than a whisper.
"My name's Caramel, Twilight..." said the changeling, slightly louder this time. Its form was suddenly engulfed in a small cyclone of green flames which fizzled as the flesh beneath them twisted and changed. The fire died away, and Twilight was confronted with a stallion that she knew all too well. "It's me, Twi. I'm a changeling."
Princess Celestia materialized high above Ponyville with a brilliant flash and hovered in the air, flapping her majestic, feathered wings to maintain her height. Her teal eyes scanned over the quaint town discriminatingly before locking on to the library.
A contingent of guards was already en route, and she expected them to arrive before sunrise. She had chosen to skip the journey with a simple teleportation spell. It was just as well, if there were any more changelings lurking in thte shadows, she intended to be the one to apprehend them. The guards were nothing more than a precaution.
Celestia began her descent towards the library, her ethereal mane and tail trailing behind her like a curtain of glimmering silk, completely unaware of the dark figure watching her from afar.
Twilight fell back on to her flanks and massaged her temples. Caramel was a changeling? Wasn't he AJ's coltfriend? All of a sudden, Applejack's savaging of him seemed far more understandable... still not acceptable, but understandable nonetheless.
The more that Twilight thought about it, the more it made sense. Caramel had always been the socially awkward type, which, coming from a mare who spends all day in the library, meant a lot. She also never remembered seeing him eat anything. Applejack had actually took him to one of Pinkie's parties a couple of nights ago, and out of all the ponies there he was the only one who didn't indulge himself in one of Pinkie Pie's renowned confections. In fact, he hadn't even looked at the snack table! The evidence had been right under her nose the whole time, and she hadn't taken the slightest notice of it.
She slumped her face into her hooves, berating herself for her stupidity. Caramel raised a brow, uncertain of what to make of the face-hoofing mare.
"You've been a changeling this whole time?" she growled, still hiding her face behind her hooves.
"... Would you be angry if I said yes?"
Twilight buried her face even deeper into her hooves and groaned in frustration. "You've been a changeling this whole time, and I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE?"
Caramel shrank back as the purple unicorn raised her voice in a shrill, ear piercing shriek of anger. She had been on the lookout for changelings ever since the incident at her brother's wedding. She had literally spent weeks examining any pony in Ponyville who she classified as even remotely strange, but she had never thought of checking what now seemed like the most obvious of them all!
"Come on now, Twi," cooed Caramel, secretly terrified of what an infuriated Twilight could do to him. He'd taken one beating today, and he sure as heck didn't need another. "all you did was make a simple mistake, it's not like-"
"MISTAKE?" snapped Twilight, tearing her hooves away from her face to reveal a venomous scowl. Her eyes twitched with an underlying madness, and small gouts of spittle sprayed from her mouth with every harsh word she hissed. "I am the element of magic, a star pupil of Celestia, and a straight A student of Canterlot Academy, I do NOT make MISTAKES!"
Her horn crackled with flickering sparks of purple as she loomed threateningly over Caramel, who was currently resisting the urge to soil himself.
After a long, tense staring match between the two of them (through which Caramel had never been so afraid in his life) Twilight finally backed away, quelling the violet forks of magic which were stemming from her horn. "I'm sorry," she said with a weary sigh. "I... don't tend to take failure too well, especially when I'm tired."
"Oh, it's fine, totally fine." squeaked Caramel in a voice so silent that it would have put Fluttershy to shame. 'By the Queen Chrysalis, who would've thought that an element of harmony needed anger management?'
Twilight strode over to his side, taking care to avoid the clumps of phlegm which clotted the carpet. She plopped herself down next to him, greeting him with a warm and welcoming smile. "How's about we start over?" she asked with renewed vigour. He winced as her horn began to glow again, preparing himself for another round of 'Beat-the-changelingTM'. The pain, however, never came. Instead, the rope binding his forelegs slackened and uncoiled on to the floor.
Twilight offered the changeling a hoof, which Caramel accepted in a firm hoofshake.
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Caramel." said Twilight joyously.
Caramel mirrored her smile with one of his own, and let his disguise slip away in a small spout of green flames. "Likewise."
"Now, if you don't mind, can I... y'know?" Twilight shuffled uncertainly towards Caramel, silently pleading him with her wide, violet puppy-dog eyes. Her curiosity burned with the untamable passion for knowledge, a passion that this changeling would hopefully fufil.
The changeling gave his eyes an emphasised roll. "Fine."
Celestia stood in front of the wooden door of the Golden Oaks Library, allowing herself a brief moment to steel herself in preparation of what was about to come. It had been a good many years since she had to deal with this sort of thing, and punishing what was technically a war criminal wasn't exactly pleasant business when compared to the small-time crime punishments that she was used to presiding over. In fact, the most heinous crime recorded by the Equestrian Court of Law last year was the theft of a sweet roll (which, she was proud to say, was later paid for in full). Heck, The Equestrian top ten most wanted list pretty much consisted of petty criminals! The top spot of said list belonged to a particularly devious litterbug.
She greedily sucked in a lungful of air before expelling it out of her nose. She never had been one for issuing punishments. In actuality, she'd dumped most of this 'law and order' tosh on Luna as soon as she'd returned from the moon. Her sister always had been one for the darker things in life...
Still, there was a changeling behind this door that needed dealing with, and whether she liked it or not, she'd have to be the mare to do it. Twilight had summoned her, after all, and she wasn't about to go deserting her star pupil in her time of need.
"Okay," she said finally with grim sigh. "let's get this over with."
Celestia pushed the door open with a gold-clad hoof, fixing a frown on her face and furrowing her brow for good measure.
"Twilight Sparkle!" she boomed in the most authoritative tone she could manage. "I am here to relieve you of the change-"
Celestia cut herself off as she laid eyes upon her student.
"Wow," said Twilight as she pressed her hoof into the gut of a changeling who was led on its back, staring idly at the purple mare with the small hint of a smile on its beaten face. "Spike was right, you are squidgy!" she gave its belly another prod, eliciting a small gaggle of laughter from the changeling.
"Careful!" it giggled in a surprisingly stallionlike voice. "That seriously tickles!"
Twilight plunged her hoof experimentally into the changeling's soft underbelly, pausing only to scribble down a hasty note on a nearby roll of parchment. "Neat."
Neither of them had taken even the slightest notice of Celestia, who stood dumbfounded in the doorway. She'd told herself back at the palace to expect the unexpected, but this? This was just... confusing, and perhaps slightly disturbing.
The princess gave a stern *ahem*, grabbing Twilight's, as well as her prisoner's, attention.
"Princess!" exclaimed Twilight, stumbling away from the changeling. I-I was uh, I was just..." Celestia swore that she could hear the mechanical crank of gears tuning within her student's head. "making notes!" she screamed finally, snatching up the parchment she had been writing on and waving it approvingly. "Yep, just making notes on, uh... changeling stuff."
"Twilight, we'll discuss this later." said the princess bluntly. It was three in the morning, and she had work to do. She'd find the time to contemplate just what the hell she had stumbled in on later.
She turned to the changeling, who shuddered with terror as her gaze fell upon it. One of its eyes had swollen shut, whilst the other regarded her with absolute horror. One of its sabre-like fangs had been torn out of its socket, and... 'Why does it have 'lying pig' on its forehead?'
A small wick of pity flittered in her chest, but she quickly snuffed it out with cold, hard reason. This was a changeling, not a pony. She had no reason to pity it, nor should she. Its kind had threatened the safety of Canterlot and everypony in it, they tried to milk Equestria dry of the love which made her lands so truly magical, and worst of all, they imprisoned her in a cocoon full of sludge which took almost an entire day to wash out of her mane. Still, despite the terrorizing of her citizens and the theft of their love, this brutalization was simply uncalled for.
'You're not here to feel sorry for it, Tia. Just banish the poor thing and be done with it.'
"Changeling, you're presence here is unwelcome," she boomed with as much authority as she could muster. The changeling hid its head beneath its hole-riddled forelegs with a small squeal of terror. Celestia cringed inwardly, but continued seemingly unfazed. "I offer you the choice to either be escorted from my lands or removed by force." she marched towards the changeling, each metallic click of her golden horseshoes sending a shiver up the changeling's spine. "Make your decision."
"Princess?"
Twilight tapped her lightly on the wing.
"Not now, Twilight, I'm dealing with matters of national security."
"But Princess, he's not a threat to anypony!"
Celestia tore her eyes away from the beaten changeling and laid them instead on Twilight, who was staring back at her pleadingly.
"I know him," stated Twilight simply. "his name is Caramel, and he's-"
"Applejack's coltfriend." finished Celestia, returning her gaze to the changeling with newfound wonder. She knew Caramel as well as she knew all of her subjects... or rather, she thought she did. "Is it true?" she asked it- no, him. "Are you truly the one my little ponies have come to know as Caramel-" she lowered herself to her haunches and glared at the changeling accusingly. "or is this some kind of foul trick?"
"It's me!" squawked Caramel from under his forelegs. "I swear in the name of Celest-you it's me!"
"And how can I know that you speak the truth, changeling?"
"HIS WORDS RING TRUE, SISTER!"
Princess Luna stood gallantly in the doorway, her pitch black cloak of velvet flowing in the cold draft, and her twinkling mane draped across her navy blue shoulders. The cloak dissolved into a flurry of bats which departed in to the night, revealing the skillfully crafted ebony regalia that hung delicately around her neck.
"THY PUPIL SPEAKS CORRECTLY," bellowed Luna with the subtlety and eloquence of a foghorn. "TO INSINUATE THAT THIS STALLION IS OF HARMFUL PURPOSE IS TRULY FOLLY!" she gestured towards Caramel with an elegant wave of her hoof.
"Luna," bellowed Celestia over the ear-splitting roar of her sister. "Use your inside voice!"
"Tia," continued Luna in a more bearable tone, indifferent to the fact that she had just deafened everypony in the library. Both Twilight and Caramel were groping their ears, moaning in agony as they succumbed to their royalty-induced migraines. "We cannot allow the banishment of this changeling!"
"Luna please," groaned Celestia, timidly massaging her forehead. "slow down and explain yourself, quietly."
The heat rose in Luna's cheeks as she realized the damage her ear-splitting outburst had caused. "Oh, right... My apologies sister." she fought off her blush and cleared her throat before continuing. "May we have a word in private, sister?"
"I suppose," replied Celestia, her eardrums still stinging from Luna's audacious attack. "Twilight, would you kindly watch over our... guest?"
the unicorn couldn't hear her teacher's request over the high-pitched ringing in her ears, but nodded all the same when she caught Celestia mouthing words at her.
The two alicorns exited the library, leaving both the mare and the changeling alone. Spike still lay entangled in his bed sheets with an arm wrapped firmly around his teddy bear, breaking the otherwise empty silence with an occasional snore.
"Are you certain about this Luna?"
"Trust me, Tia. I know enough about a pony's heart to tell that hers is indeed broken..." Luna spoke with a subtle sorrow. The night was her domain, and the moon her eye. With it, she observed whatever she pleased, from snowcapped mountains in the north to the barren wastelands of the south.
Tonight her moon had spied a mare, broken-hearted and distraught.
Celestia chewed the inside of her lip and combed a hoof through her phantom-like mane. This was a predicament. Why, out of all the ponies that Applejack could have fallen for, did she have to go for the one whom just so happened to be a changeling? It was as if luck had developed a cruel sense of humor.
"What do you expect me to do about this?" she asked finally, desperately looking towards her sister for some sort of console. "Let what is basically a prisoner of war run rampant in the streets?"
"No!" snapped Luna with a ferocity that shocked Celestia. "I expect you to put the needs of your citizens before your own petty grudges!"
"I don't hold any grudges! The ch- Caramel is not solely responsible for the invasion of Canterlot, I'm not going to despise him for being what he is!"
"Then why do you insist banishing him? He obviously presents no harm to our subjects!"
"Because there is nothing else we can do!" Princess Celestia began to pace back and forth, keeping her grim muzzle pointed towards the ground. "The public would never accept him, and I refuse to let him wither and rot alone in a jail cell. Can't you see, Luna? We have no choice here!"
"..."
"..."
"She loves him, sister. She may not think so, but she does."
With a final, defeated sigh, Celestia collapsed onto her haunches. "Luna... when did national security get so bloody complicated?"
Princess Luna smirked at her exhausted sibling. "If I recall, I'm the one who missed out on a millennium. You tell me."
The two alicorns shared a short, mirthless laugh which quickly dissolved into a dead silence.
"Sister," said Luna finally. "I think I may have an idea."