The CIG
Canterlot Institute of Genealogy
3124 Mane Ave.
Canterlot, Equestria.
Your eminence princess Celestia,
Greetings oh wise and powerful monarch of dawn, we do regret interrupting your royal transactions, however we from the Canterlot Institute of Genealogy find it necessary to inform you of our recent findings which are to say the least, disturbing. We would like to draw your attention to a resident of Ponyville, by the name of: Pinkie Pie. Our good friend Twilight Sparkle has asked us to do some research on Miss Pie’s uncanny ability to see into the near future. Miss sparkle has informed us that this ability has been extinct for thousands of years, and was last seen in a region known as Prancilvania, being used by a group of earth pony cultists. These cultists operated under the name of “The Ponies Who Never Yield” or “PWNY” for short, they were a pony breed purity group, who preyed on pegasi, unicorns, and even ponies who took too long to get their cutie marks. She even discovered the identity of their leader: a young a zealous earth pony by the name of Buzzsaw, who had the same ability as Pinkie Pie. We have reason to believe that Pinkie Pie is the long lost descendent of Buzzsaw. Our theory is reinforced by Twilight's latest observations. Twilight has reported seeing Pinkie talking in strange tongues that have not been heard in thousands of years, and she was also showing sociopolitical, and violent tendencies to violence towards pegasi, unicorns, and a group of fillies that called themselves “The Cutie Mark Crusaders.” Twilight also said that this was quite unusual for Pinkie, who usually is friendly to everypony. We believe that Pinkie is also inheriting the personality of her evil ancestor as well as her powers. In response we have sent an agent down to Ponyville to assist Twilight in the investigation. We shall keep your highness posted on the investigation regularly.
Yours truly,
The CIG