//------------------------------// // The Amnesia Game // Story: Two Weeks // by NotARealPonydotcom //------------------------------// The Amnesia Game ____________________________________________________________________ I enter the dreamworld again, and this time I'm terrified. Because there isn't any grey, or blue, or even black surrounding me. Not this time. Everything's white. Just white. I go sprinting in a direction that probably doesn't exist here. I have to find her, have to find the blue, or whatever she really is, though I've got a good idea of what that might be since I last saw her. I have to find her, have to, have to, have to- "Spike! Desist!" Where? Where's she talking from? There's no blue, everything's white and empty and I'm alone, I've always been alone, always always always... Wait. Color, far off. Only a blur of it, but still, it's blue! Runrunrunrun to it, faster, before she disappears again, before I wake up, before anything else pulls me away. I have to figure out the end of the story she was telling me. I was there, in Canterlot for the fashion show, Rarity and I kissed, and then we fought (why would you just throw it all away, you foolidiotmoronscum!), but then...? So close, so bucking close yet I'm further away from the truth than I ever was before. She's not a blur, she's a shape now, a shape that looks so familiar. It's a pony, obviously, there were hoofsteps before, but she's a mare! No wonder she was so mad when I called her a smile-frown (or frown-smile, whichever)! She's a beautiful, dark blue mare with big, beautiful wings that could encompass whole worlds if only she stretched and stretched and stretched... And suddenly, I know who she is. It's so obvious, I can't believe I didn't know before... "Spike!" The ground disappears, and again I fall. I always fall here, always, either into a memory pool or an abyss or something else, whatever. I can't even call out her name before I'm falling down, down, down... I catch a glimpse of her face before I wake up. She gives me a very worried look. ____________________________________________________________________ I know without opening my eyes that I'm not in my bed down in the basement of the library, but I can't remember why not. I have to figure out why, but not before I remember my dream. Come on, who was it I saw? It shouldn't have mattered, but the fact that it did makes it that much more important to remember who. Was it Twilight? Was it even a pony? Was I watching myself, or dragin-Twilight, or pony-me, or dragin-Rarity... Wait. I remember something. I was running... ¿Θ? I ran the way Rarity had gone. I let my body focus on moving me forward, while my mind began buzzing with things that I should say or do when or if I caught up with her. But my brain was on the fritz: I couldn't hold on to any of the ideas I had in me before they were gone, replaced by another batch that disappeared just as fast as the one before it. My eyes were unfocused, clouded by my jumbled thoughts, but I could still make out the streets of Dragonsville, which were growing darker the further I ran from the Summer Sun Celebration. I searched frantically for her, and when I could not see her I ran faster, hoping to catch her before it was too late. I reached the end of the street and stood for a moment, trying not to breath too heavily so as not to block out any noise around me. I strained my ears and looked left and right, hoping to catch sight of her or hear something. Through some kind of miracle, I did get a glimpse of her, or rather her pearly tail flicking around another corner a block away. I sprinted towards it. I imagined, as I ran to catch her, all the scenarios that could play out when(if?) I caught her: she could fight me, scream, have me taken down by anydragon that happened to pass by and hear us; she could simply slap me, yell at me, and leave me standing in the street, wanting to chase her more but unable to move my legs; she could accept an apology, an explanation, and still not want to be with me anymore. No matter how many situations I imagined, none of them ended with her kissing me, or me kissing her, or any romantic relations ever happening between us again, all because I refused her at the time that it mattered most. Oh, but I didn't deserve her anyway, right? That moment had been proof enough. I was shallow, selfish, unwilling to commit myself to her when she gave her heart out. I made her wait and wait until she finally could take no more, and even then I didn't apologize or even think of apologizing to her until she had run away in tears and I was left standing there gaping like I hadn't seen that coming. Only now did I want to set things right, now that it was too late and she had run away and I had realized what I had was going, going, gone. I turned the corner; she was there, walking swiftly now. I could hear sobbing. I knew I had to explain everything to her, where I was from, who I was, why I was so afraid of us being together... • ...and I caught her. Then what? I shift in the sheets. They're silk, flowing like water across my scales. I roll onto my stomach, and I feel other fabric rub against my body: I'm still wearing my dress shirt and pants. So I didn't get into anything... dirty last night, which makes perfect sense. My nose is buried in the enormous, fluffy pillow my head is resting on. I sniff, and the intoxicating scent of lilac fills my nostrils. I know exactly where I am now; the Carousel Boutique, in what can only be Rarity's bed. Which means... Something shifts in bed next to me, and I smile into the pillow. I can remember more of what happened the night before, now. I definitely caught her, on that dimly lit street... ¿Θ? "HEY!" Rarity heard me shout, and when she turned, I caught a nice, full look at her shocked, angry, mascara-stained face. Her eyes widened, and she spun around and started running again. I sped up, desperate to catch her. I knew she didn't want to talk with me, or be around me, or think about me at that moment (or probably ever again), but I had to talk with her. I had to be with her, at least tonight, long enough to get an answer out of her. If the answer was "No" (which I was sure it would be), then I could at least leave with that. But I couldn't have things end like this, because nothing had actually ended. I needed an answer, and I needed her to hear me out before she gave it. "Hey!" I called out again, lacking the cranial capacity to say anything else. She ignored me and ran faster. I was now at a full sprint, and was glad to see that I was catching up to her. I could hear her choking on sobs in between deep gulps of air as she ran. I hated her for crying, and hated myself more for making her cry. I was getting closer and closer, and I thought of how to stop her from running more. She may just keep trying to get away, even if I ended up overtaking her. So, without a true plan in mind, I simply reached out for her shoulder. The moment I touched her with my claw, she slowed dramatically and spun around to face me. I thought that she might have been reaching out to hug me, but a moment after this (ridiculous) thought passed through my head, she shoved me. I grabbed her arm, and she struggled in my grip. "Get away from me!" she yelled, sounding more unlike herself than I've ever heard. She sounded broken. I held on, ignoring her yelling, and stared into her angry eyes. They were still so beautiful in the moonlight. I had to let go of her when she dug her claws deep into my arm, but she didn't start running again when she was free from my grip, to my relief. Instead, she just glared at me with those big, broken eyes, and yelled, "Would you just leave me alone?" "Rarity," I started to say, "please, I can-" "Why are you doing this to me?" she asked, pushing me away again. She cried as she spoke; I almost couldn't understand what she said. "All of this flirting and teasing, what's it all really for? Why are you even bothering to chase me? You're almost bipolar, the way you switch from wanting to be around me to shying away each time I get within ten feet of you! What is your game, Emerald?" "There's no game, Rarity, I swear-" "And why should I believe you? All this time, I've thought--I've thought you really liked me. I ignored all the looks you gave to other dragins and you pushing me away every time I want to get close, because I though that perhaps you were just nervous or something silly like that! But it's never gotten any better! I thought you had some sort of feelings for me, but all I get from you whenever I try to acknowledge those feelings is some sort of twisted keepaway game where you're trying to hide something from me by dodging all of my questions and staying away from me, when you and I both know you can't do that without hurting me!" "Rarity, I really-" "And even when I forgive you, for everything that you're doing that makes me feel so, so uncomfortable, you just go ahead and do it again! I don't know who you are, Emerald, because you keep changing each time I think I know something about you! You act like you care about me, most times, but you always end up leaving me in the middle of something important! If you're not actually interested in me, please, just leave me alone. Don't come see me, or talk to me on the street, or anything like that. Give me time to pull myself together again, and then we can-" "RARITY! LISTEN!" The force of my yell made her stop for a long enough time for me to tell her the truth. "I have to tell you something," I said, slowly and quietly, like speaking too fast would just make her yell at me more. "Just one last thing, and then, when I'm done, you can go ahead and walk away, and you'll never have to see me again, alright?" She said nothing. After a minute of watching her staring at me, I decided to go ahead and tell her. "Rarity, I love you." I said nothing more. She stared at me with the same expression as before: disbelief, anger, slight confusion, all bundled up in one big, sorrowful frown. She was still silent, too, so I decided to go ahead and pour my heart out while I had the chance. "I've loved you," I said, "since I first saw you. I looked at you, that first day in the library, and I fell in love with you. I was too stupid to realize it, and when I did realize it I was too stupid to admit it out loud. I couldn't do it when I was alone in bed at night, I couldn't do it when I was with you in the Boutique, and I couldn't do it just now, at the dance, when I knew it mattered the most. And I needed this to happen, all of this crap, just to tell you that I am madly in love with you, and for that I am so, so sorry. So now, I am begging you, from the bottom of my stupid, selfish heart, to forgive me for being so pathetic." I stopped, thought, and added, "And I want to thank you, for being so patient with me. I wanted to say it, all this time, but I got..." Dammit, words, don't stop now! "...stuck." "You got stuck?" she repeated, eyes full of tears again, voice raspy and choking back more sobs.She didn't look angry anymore, I noticed. Just worried. "Yeah." "You love me?" "Yeah." Pause. She sniffled a few times and glanced up at the night sky. Somehow, she had the smallest of smiles on her face. The longest of silences plays out while I wait. "Okay," she finally rasped, and to my amazement, she leapt forward and kissed me, wrapping her arms around my neck as she did so. Nothing. Nothing, in all of the gems I ever eat, in anything I ever do for a rush of adrenaline, no matter how many romance novels about love I read or songs above love I hear or symphonies about love I listen to, no matter how much I learn about it, no matter how many times I am told that it was all in my head and that none of it actually happened, nothing, nothing, nothing will ever compare to what I felt what I saw what I tasted smelled heard when we kissed. Lilac and vanilla, fireworks bursting, white and green flames rushing from our lips, smoke from our nostrils, claws running through my spines, claws running down her back, scales rubbing scales, everything is forgiven, everything was so messed up, everything is perfect, pressing up against a sign post, time slowing stopping, claws digging into fabric, don't care if the suit's ruined, everything so intense, everything alive, chill of the cool metal, soft moans from her lips, her pulse quickening, my breath catching in my throat, her sighing, my tongue flickering past her teeth, the faintness of the red wine from earlier, the hint of ruby, the chill of her necklace and the softness of her cheeks, the crumpling of her dress, the firmness of her body and the warmth of her chest, the world spinning from our embrace, and its night but lights shine around us, lights in her eyes when they open, telling me she wants more, her eyes like sapphires, only brighter bigger more beautiful than any gem could ever be, and nothing could ever ever compare to that first kiss until the second one came and I felt it all over again • The feeling of elation that engulfs me when my trip down memory lane ends is so powerful that I have to bite down on a pillow to contain something that I want to say would be a scream but would most likely end up being a squeal. The bundle beside me shifts closer, and I turn in the bed and wrap my arms around her. She's remarkably warm, and I can hardly keep myself from waking her up. My claws run along her body, relishing the smoothness of her scales and the plushness of her curves. I smile into her neck when she sighs. I adjust myself, making a pocket with my body that hers fits into perfectly. Everything is perfect. "I love you," I whisper. Finally, I can say it to her, and it feels so good passing my lips that I say it again: "I love you." She lets out another sleepy sigh, and in a voiceless whisper that's more of a breath she says, "I love you, too." She does. I remember... ¿Θ? "I love you, too," she whispered. She was still crying, but I could tell they were happy tears. I kissed them off her face. The mood of the moment was heavy with intimacy. Everything I said seemed to be the most important thing anydragon's ever said. "I will never make you cry again," I told her, kissing her face again, and again. "I promise." It was like a dream. Each time we kissed, Rarity left a shorter, gentler peck on my lips, like a punctuation mark. I couldn't tell how long we spent standing on that street corner embracing, but I realized very quickly that I didn't care one bit. Well, no, that's a lie... "Oh!" Rarity gasped. I thought at first that it was because of me (I was nibbling her neck now), but when I looked up at her she was staring upwards. I followed her gaze and saw that the sky was getting brighter. It was almost sunrise. "We're going to miss the sunrise!" Rarity said. I stared at the sky, thinking for a second. "No we're not," I told her, grabbing her hand. "I promised you we'd see the sunrise together, and I'm never going to break a promise to you again." I pulled her in a direction, she followed, and we went running towards a familiar tower a few blocks away. The journey to the tower was uneventful. Getting in, however, involved bribery, breaking and entering, more bribery, and what could technically be considered assault. And yet it was the most romantic thing I'd ever done. We raced up the stairs inside the tower after I'd decided that there wasn't enough time to start the ride at the bottom. Rarity objected when I insisted on removing the couple sitting in the boat I planned on commandeering, but seemed to understand that I would not let my promise go broken. She apologized to the couple for me as we took their seats. I started the ride up again, and the two relatively small dragons were left yelling at us through the darkness of the tunnel as we went on our way. Rarity was silent for a moment, and for a second I thought she was angry at me, but a moment later she chuckled and wrapped her arm around mine. The whole thing really was romantic, in a way. We rode through the tunnel, and when we came out into the open, we could see that there was a crowd gathered around a platform in the center of town. The sky was a lighter shade of azure, and as we turned and followed the course of the ride to the very top of the tower, I knew that somehow, Celestia was on my side. I stared down at the town, and the thought occurred to me that I had no idea what Celestia looked like. I figured she was still white, still had a sun cutie mark, but how did her spines work? What did the regal attire look like? How large was she? We reached a rise. Rarity squeezed me, excited. Down below, I could hear somedragon on a megaphone announcing that it was time for the moment we'd all been waiting for, and that she was very proud to present... We reached the top of the tower, and the sun rose. "Princess Celestia of Serpentia!" She appeared with the rays of the sun, and stood as tall as the tower. Her scales shone so brightly that I was afraid I might go blind. Her spines were the same colors as her counterpart's mane, and I saw that they became thinner and thinner and thinner and then they whispered out into nothing, just like the alicorn's mane and tail would. Her crown was a tower on its own, made of gold and gems and magic itself, it seemed. She was a spectacle to behold. Celestia was at eye level with us, and when the enormous magenta orbs focused on us, Rarity waved and I, being me, blushed. Rarity, somehow noticing this without taking her eyes off the princess, happily punched my arm, and I remembered that subjects who weren't basically the son of the princess were customarily supposed to bow. I did so, and Celestia smiled at us before lowering herself down to look at the dragons below. Or, I thought she was lowering herself; I looked over the edge of the boat and saw that she was in fact shrinking down to the size of the other dragons. I meant to watch longer, but Rarity tore me away from the spectacle by yanking me over to her and kissing me passionately. I had no problem with this. Her embrace was warm and loving, like the morning rays of the new summer sun • Arms wrap around me as I reminisce, and a pair of lips press firmly against mine. It's not a perfect kiss: she misses the first two times, because we're both still half asleep, and I assume her eyes are closed as well as mine. When we finally lock lips the taste of alcohol is so strong I almost start coughing (alcohol; that might explain my amnesia). I couldn't care less, though. Any kiss from her is perfect. She trails kisses down my neck and buries her face in my shoulder. My hands trail down and squeeze, and she coos softly: "Ooh~, Pinkie..." My hands squeeze tighter due to the shock that runs through me, and the dragin cuddling with me squeals. My eyes are open by this time, wide open, and I get a second to look at a set of wide violet spines before the head the spines belong to snaps up, and a pair of equally violet eyes flutter open to look at me. They are, of course, not expecting to see me, so that smile she's got on her face disappears in less than a second; mine left my face the moment I heard the word "Pinkie" come out of her mouth, because this is Twilight not Rarity and oh holy mother of Celestia I just made out with my sister and I think I liked it oh man oh man oh man. There's this moment that happens, with her on her knees on top of me (oh man I have a boner that's so gross oh please don't let her see it) and me just lying there gripping her arms (I was gonna do it, I was gonna--), where the both of us just stare at each other with the same look on our face, the look that says, "Oh man, you weren't the dragon I was expecting to be sharing a bed with, and I might be sick from making out with you, no offense, and I should have somedragon else in bed with me, only I can't remember last night clearly, and oh Celestia did I have sex with you instead of her?" It's kinda freaky. Then Twilight screams, and I do something like screaming too, only it's closer to a roar, and I'm suddenly being forced off the bed we shared (oh man) onto the floor of what is still Rarity's bedroom, not Twilight's (oh man what happened?), and Twilight pulls a bunch of sheets around her and stares at me vehemently as I try and nurse the lump that's growing on the back of my head because I slammed it into Rarity's bedside table and I think I have a concussion but that doesn't matter because I might have slept with my sister and why is my memory on the fritz again dammit?!? Twilight's stuttering something: "Y-Y-Y-Youaren'tPinkiewhere-" She doesn't say anything else because she apparently realizes what just happened. "OhnononoIkissedyouIkissedyouwhatamIgonnatellherarrrrghhhh!!" She yanks on her spines comically and puffs magenta smoke from her mouth. "I think I have a concussion," is all I can think to say. Twilight, being absorbed in her own thoughts, completely ignores me and goes on hypothesizing the worst possible situations that could have happened last night. I try and get up, black out momentarily, and come to on the floor again. Twilight has done nothing to help me. I lay there for a second or so, and I'm about to say something when the door opens. Rarity comes strolling into the room, smiling (what). She looks just as gorgeous as she did last night (this morning?) and peppier than, say, Pinkie Pie (an expression, nothing more). Which makes absolutely no sense, because wouldn't you be angry, no, furious, to find your new drakefriend in bed with one of your best friends? "Twilight, dear," she says calmly, "please keep it down. You'll wake the entire town, and nodragon wants that on the day after the Summer Sun Celebration."