Squeal

by Meinos Kaen

Day 1

Day1

"Hmmm..." Murmuring, Tony turned around in his bed to the side, finding a blissfully comfortable position, his small moment of pure nirvana heightened by the plushie he was hugging to his chest. He loved its softness, its weight, and its warmth... Wait. 'Plushies aren't warm.' Slowly coming to, he became aware of the not-plushie snuggling into his chest, and as he fluttered his eyes open he laid them on a pretty comfortable looking... Pinkie Pie. "... Holy carp." He whispered out, but his breath still had the effect of rousing the pink filly from her slumber. Scrunching up her face, she slowly sat up on his chest, rubbing sleep out of her eyes with a hoof and then yowled out in the most adorable. Yawn. Ever. He slapped a hand on his mouth instinctively as he suppressed a very loud squeal, which caused Fluttershy to stir. A wing brushed his cheek as he noticed how the cream pony had migrated to his pillow during the night. The pegasus uncurled from her ball like a cat, stretching and yawning. Now two hands were on his mouth. 'Deep breaths. Deep. Breaths!'

He dared not move, he dared not glaze in the direction of the box, lest he laid eyes on more cute interruptions of equine sleep. And scared them because of his newfound ability to fuck biology with his vocal cords. He simply stared into Pinkie's baby cobalts, the straight-maned filly staring at him with curiosity and a smile, her tail swishing from side to side.

"Good morning... Pinkie." He said, slowly moving his arms back to his side, again in control of himself.

"'Inkie." She parroted. He smiled. He paused. He shot up in a sitting position, grabbing onto the filly and holding her up in front of his face, who giggled in laughter.

"You... Did you just...?" He murmured, and she just stared back, amused. "... Pinkie?"

"'Inkie!" She repeated again, and he almost dropped her.

"You talk?! B-But how-"

"'Addy?" It was a barely audible whisper, but he caught it. He gasped at the pegasus unicorn staring shyly but affectionately at him, sitting on his pillow on her haunches.

"Y-You too?!" Tony's mind was going into loops, ignoring the sudden awakening of the other fillies in the box. 'How-Yesterday they couldn't utter a syllable, and now they're-?!' Then, he noticed something else, since he was still holding Pinkie up. She had lifted her the previous evening too, and he now noticed a certain difference in weight, and size. "W-What?" He peered in Fluttershy's direction, and then to the box where the four other ponies were awaking. It was far more confining than the previous day, and in Rainbow Dash's case he could clearly tell that her hair had somewhat grown in length. "... You've grown overnight?!"

"Hmm... Good morning." A new voice echoed in the room. New and yet familiar. After all, filly Twilight had had a talking appearance. Like all the mane six, now that he thought about it. The small unicorn drowsily made her way out of the box. She sat and yawned, and eventually focused her attention on him. Then, she smiled and bowed her head. "Thanks for taking care of us."

Very polite and she talked slowly, taking her time to pronounce her words carefully. Still impressive, for a... Two years old? Whatever. This was definitely Twilight. "Huu, you're welcome." He finally set Pinkie down again. Who immediately dove for his lap.

"'Addy." Fluttershy murmured again, gently leaning on his left tight with her front hooves.

'Did she call me-' And her stomach suddenly growled. She froze and lowered her head, embarrassed. Tony almost cooed. "You hungry?"

"Eeyup!" Applejack said enthusiastically, surprising the hell out of him. He laughed right after.

"Okay, okay! Let's eat, then!" He got off his bed, placing Pinkie over his right shoulder, much to her enjoyment. Then he crouched down and collected the trays. Rainbow and Rarity were looking around for the bag of feed. "Nono. You're not eating breakfast in here. Yesterday was a one time exception. A bedroom is for sleeping."

"There you go. Sorry for the tray, but I don't have filly sized stools." They didn't seem to mind, though, if the munching sounds were any indication. Tony just chuckled and poured himself a glass of orange juice while munching on a freshly prepared french toast. Rarity and Twilight had already finished eating, seemingly having less appetite than the others, not that the others minded.

"Thanks for the breakfast." Twilight said, bowing her head. Rarity mimicked the gesture with an imperfect curtsy, but it was still a curtsy. Also, she seemed to be the only one devoid of bed hair, somehow.

"You're very welcome, Twilight." He replied with a smile. The purple unicorn just stared strangely at him.

"Twilight... Is that my name?" The question really confused him. She didn't know her name?

"Yes. You're Twilight Sparkle." He confirmed, as confused as the small filly. She had grown overnight and got grammar and lexicon that kids usually got by listening to and parroting the adults around them, after all. It was like the knowledge she had gotten overnight was selective.

"Uhm, how do you know?" Sharp little filly. "You can't be our daddy. You look nothing like us."

"Uh?" Fluttershy murmured, cleaning her muzzle clean as she turned to him. "No ‘addy?" The disappointment in her voice almost killed him.

"N-No. You're right, Twilight. I'm not your dad." No sense in lying about that. Now, what could he say that would put them at ease and be acceptable? "I'm... Your caretaker."

"Care... Taker?" Rarity repeated, tasting the word.

"Yeah. I take care of you. I'm... Well, like a big brother!" He exclaimed, downing the last of his orange juice and settling the glass down on the nearby table. "My name is Tony."

"Tony..." Murmured Applejack, then she suddenly beamed. "Big 'other Tony!" Younger sibling instincts: activate.

"Yep, I'm Tony!" He knelt in front of the fillies as they all approached him. "And you are Applejack." He poked the orange earth pony in the nose, who retaliated by trying to bite at it playfully. "Rainbow Dash." He held his hand over the head of the cyan pegasus who jumped after it to try and catch it. "Pinkie Pie." The giggling filly accepted his tickling with gusto. "Fluttershy." At first the cream pony just stared, unsure, but then began to shamelessly rub her face against his open palm. "Rarity." Comprehending the game, the unicorn raised and gently laid a hoof in his hand, trying to put on an air of grace. “And Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight, he just smiled at. She seemed to be a bit on her guard, at the moment.

“And where are our parents?” Damn it. Too intelligent for her age. And still so cute!

“Business trip. They asked me to take care of you all until they're back.” 'What we need is a change of subject.' They just had breakfast. What did you do after breakfast? 'Personal hygiene.' “Alright, everypony. It's bath-time.”

“Baph?” Applejack parroted.

“No baph!”

“For the love of Luna, Applejack, stay still!” Just as Tony's luck would have it, the physically strongest of the fillies just had to happen to be the only one opposed to the idea of cleaning herself up with water. If anything, he would have bet on Rainbow Dash, but the pegasus had surprisingly even dive-bombed for the filled tub. Applejack seemed to be allergic to water the way she trashed around. He pushed with all his might and managed to get her in the tub, earning a yelp from the small filly and lots of water on him. "Now, be a good filly and-Pinkie! Get away from the drier!"

"Abalabalabalabalaaaaaaaa!" Pinkie had somehow found how to turn on the drier and placed herself in front of it, the air stream waving her hair and surprisingly big tongue. Although she didn't seem to notice him, Twilight did and turned it off, earning a pout from the pink pony.

Sighing in relief, Tony was free to focus on the freckled filly. She sniffled and regarded him with a miserable expression. He flinched but resisted, strong in being the adult. He shook his head. "No can do, little missy. You get dirty, you get a bath. Now close your eyes." She whined but complied, allowing Tony to drop water on her, gently getting her mane wet. Pouring a generous amount of shampoo on his hands, he went to work on her hair, finding them full of knots. “This is going to take a while...”

A few winces and yelps later, Applejack was clean and dried over. And yet, she still looked as miserable as before. He sighed. “Oh, come on, AJ. It was just water.” No reaction. He groaned, and then did the first thing that came to his mind. He picked her up and hugged her. She immediately latched her forelegs around his neck. “There, there. Who's a brave little filly?” He had to continuously check the strength of his hug. When she nuzzled him, he almost squeezed. Hard.

“Donie.” Another voice earned his attention, though. This time it was Rarity, hair all in disorder because of his messy job at drying it up, her voice muffled because she was holding in her mouth-He almost dropped Applejack. “Brushie?”

“... Yes. Yes, Brushie.” He murmured, Applejack suddenly weirded out that the man she was holding onto was shaking in barely contained- “Just one moment.” Screw barely contained. He made for his room and then window.

“There! We've been up all night, but it's back up!”

“My liege, but are we sure...”

“I told you, there's no way that sound could ever happen. We just did something wrong in the  manufacturing phase.” The scientist said, grinning. “By the way, I blame you for that.”

“Typical. I-” The glass wall shattered again, this time not crumbling but literally exploding, the two labcoat wearing men ducking for the ground to protect their faces. “... You gonna blame that on me as well, my liege?”

“Shut up, will you?!”

“Hehehe.” He didn't stop, but he turned in the direction of Twilight, who was chuckling..

“What's so funny?” He asked, as his right hand continued the tempo he had fallen into an hour or so ago.

“Rainbow Dash really likes brushies.” Twilight observed, and he couldn't help but laugh. Indeed, RD liked her brushies. Sprawled on her stomach on his leg, a goofy expression on her face with tongue lolling out, wings fluttering wildly with every stroke of the brush and right leg twitching.

“Yes, yes she does.” He was enjoying himself. Maybe too much. It was already 11 am. He had to start researching this, didn't he? Applejack and Fluttershy were currently occupied with an old basketball he had recovered from his room, Rarity was seemingly fascinated with his curtains, and Fluttershy was just being... Fluttershy. Sitting in a corner, observing and not participating. It there was going to be any moment... “Hey, Twilight. Do you want to try?”

“Huh? Me?” Much to the cyan filly's annoyance, he dropped her on the ground. He handed the brush to Twilight.

“Yes, you. You look like a smart filly, I'm sure you can do it.” She flushed, beaming at the praise. With a nod, she grabbed onto the brush with her teeth and waltzed to Rainbow Dash, who just stayed sprawled on the ground with a pout. She quickly mellowed once Twilight started brushing her again. Nodding to himself, satisfied with a good plan, Tony collected the ripped box and looked for the shipping information. “Let's see...” 'There, the shipping number.'

As he turned on his PC and logged onto the courier site, he considered his options. He couldn't just phone the company and say 'Hey, you shipped me six fillies instead of a plushie. Oh, did I mention they're technically cryptids?'. So, the only possible thing he could do was see where the package had stopped on the way there. “Insert expedition number and... There.”

The list was short. It had stopped on only four locations on the way there. Two were too far away for him to check by car. Also, he couldn’t just up and leave the six little fillies all on their own. He collected the information in a word file. ‘I’ll check it out as soon as possible.’ He gave a glance in the fillies’ direction. They were still at it, and there had been no damage. He returned to his task. “... Maybe I can contact the ebay seller?” ‘I could have been the millionth customer or something.’ Browsing through his purchase history, he found the user easily: eridias666. There was only an email for ‘customer service’. “An e-mail, huh?” ‘Okay. What the hell do I write this guy? The cryptids thing still stands.’

After much thinking, Tony settled for the following message.

Hi, I’m TotallyBrony789.

I won the auction for the life-sized Rainbow Dash plushie. I received the package yesterday. Except, he didn’t contain the auctioned item, but something else entirely.

I suppose that could have been some mistake at the post-office or something- “Yeah, in Canterlot, maybe.” -but if you know anything about the substitution, please contact me as soon as possible.

Tony

“Aaaand sent.” With a last push of a key, his research for the morning was done. He looked at the clock on the screen. It said 1:03 PM. He had been researching the stuff for two hours. He turned around. Surprisingly, the girls had managed to entertain themselves for that long with the activity he had given them. Much to Rainbow Dash’s bliss. He chuckled. ‘Time to start working on lunch.’

“Tony.”

“Yes, Twilight?” Twilight called as he finished drying his dishes and the tray. No sense in using the dishwasher with so few things that got used in the first place. “Something the matter?”

“Can I do something else?” While he finished tidying up the kitchen, he had set the fillies in the living room. Via an incident involving Pinkie’s newfound habit of biting on anything new, they had discovered television. “I don’t like tee-vee anymore.” Seemed like the unicorn filly had quickly gotten bored of it, though.

“Something else?” As he dried his hands, he grinned. He picked her up and cradled her to his chest. “I think I have just the thing for a smart filly like you.” Again, she blushed and smiled at the praise as he brought her to the living room. He stopped in front of the library, looking for a specific book. “Do you like to read, Twilight?”

“Read?” She blinked, the word new to her. “I don’t know. I never tried that.”

‘Here’s hoping that she learned to read overnight too.’ “Let’s try, then... Ah! Here it is!” Tony picked up a small book and presented it to the filly. “This was one of my favorite books when I was a ch-I mean, young.”

“The... It... Doesn’t Matter... Suit?” Tony nodded -she did learn to read- and settled both filly and book on the ground, one in front of the other. He opened the first page for her.

“From Sylvia Plath. Try and read it. If you don’t like it, we will do something else. Okay?” He said, rubbing the head of the small pony, earning another smile from her. Taking a spot on the nearby couch, where Rarity was taking a nap in an angle, he decided to do some reading of his own. He couldn’t leave the house and he could only wait for an answer to his email. He grabbed his Kindle Keyboard and continued going through that Lovecraft short stories collection he had started the other day.

He had no further interruptions from Twilight, although Fluttershy asked for some petting after a while. She was really affectionate, he noted. When he raised his head, it was past five. Fluttershy was fast asleep in his lap, Pinkie Pie was still staring at cartoons on the television, and Rainbow Dash and Applejack had somehow coaxed Rarity into roughhousing. And that presented a problem. He wanted to check his email, but waking Fluttershy up? Did he have the heart to do that?

Luck was on his side. She was stirring on herself. “Hmm... ‘addy, pee...” He scooped her up and brought her to the ground floor bathroom. He just had the time to collect his cellphone and see if any notifications had arrived. He didn’t want to turn on the PC just to check on his email. A quick trip upstairs, and he found out that there hadn’t been a reply yet.

‘Just my luck. Oh, well.’ Sighing, he returned downstairs. He found Twilight waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs with the finished book in her mouth. He chuckled and collected it and she bowed.

“I really liked it! Thank you!” She said, more cheerful than he had seen here at any point in those two days. “Can I have another book, Tony?”

“Another book? Sure.” He replied with a smile, and Twilight was bursting with excitement. Just as he handed her another book, his phone started ringing. He picked it up. Cassandra. With a smile, he answered the call. “Hey, beautiful.”

“Enjoying your newest toy, handsome?” He couldn’t help a snicker. If only she knew.

“Yes. Yes, I am.” As weird as unexpected as it had been, he would be a big fat liar if he said he didn’t love the idea of having the filly mane six around. “How was your day?”

“The usual, slow saturday evening. You sure I can’t coax you into going out, tonight?” He sighed.

“No can do, Cassandra.” ‘Especially today.’ He thought as he observed the fillies, spread a bit all around the living room. “I’m a bit caught up with something, to tell the truth.”

“Around the house, you mean?” He nodded to the phone, even if she couldn’t exactly see him. “I hope it won’t impede on our little dinner.”

“Nah, it’s-Tomorrow?” He blinked. Once. Twice. Then it dawned on him. ‘OH, FUCK!’ “It’s already Sunday?”

“Technically, there are still six and a half hours to go, but yes.” She chuckled, thinking it one of his jokes. But he had really forgotten that it was Saturday and that, on Sunday night, he had arranged to have Cassandra over for dinner. “I bought a little something for us. I think you’ll like it.”

“R-Really?” He blushed, sweat starting to cover his skin, but not for the mental images. It was bad. It was really bad. “Hey, Cass. I-”

“Shoot. A customer. Gotta go, sweetheart. Kisses.” She hung up on him. And he felt like hanging up on life.

“Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.” Tony continued as he paced around the room in a circle, gaze on the floor as he thought of his possibilities. “Damn it. Damn it. And damn it again.” He stopped and turned his head around. “Any suggestions, girls?”

“Ham it!” Pinkie, Rainbow and Applejack chorused among a fit of giggles. He sighed. He had taught them their first swearword. Well, sorta.

“Okay. Enough horsing around. Time to wash your hooves before dinner.” They were pretty quiet, after all. He’d just close them up in his room and keep the evening to the ground floor. He couldn’t lie to Cassandra, so he’d just avoid the matter entirely. ‘I can do this. It’s going to be okay.’

Or so he thought. He couldn’t foresee the catastrophe that would take place the following morning.