Front and center on the screen is Rainbow Dash, striking her best 'awesome' pose and giving the camera a wink. "Hey there, Equestria, 'sup? I'm Rainbow Dash.” She pulls another pose that looks like she is flexing her wings. “Best Young Flier several years in a row, performer of the Sonic Rainboom and awesomest pony in all Equestria.”
From off screen comes a loud, questioning, countryfied voice, "Yer what?!"
"Co-awesomest pony in Equestria.” Dash says quickly, giving a strained smiled. “Co-awesomest pony in Equestria. Seriously. I mean it, honey.” She wipes at her brow and then turns to the camera again. “You should totally drink Sweet Apple Acres cider, even though they never have any for me and that sucks." Dash sticks her tongue out and blows a raspberry.
Applejack's voice takes on a very threatening tone, with the slightest trace of mirth at the bottom of it. "Ah'm gettin' mah rope, missy."
Dash clicks her tongue and gives a wink to the camera. "Promise?" She then zips off camera in the direction of AJ's voice.
The camera pans up to a bottle of Sweet Apple Acres Cider that had been behind Dash. It is the new label design, the slick, curved bottle contrasting with the very old-time lettering and simple agrarian iconography. A neutral-sounding male voice speaks over a slow rotation around the bottle. “Sweet Apple Acres genuine Ponyville apple cider. Now available for a limited time in major markets.”
A small hospital's urgent care is seen, with two stallions sitting on pads near the nurse's station. One is a blue-and-yellow earth pony and the other is a green-and-red unicorn in a pair of glasses. They look one another over and give simultaneous sheepish smirks. The camera turns and rises slightly to show the backs of both males. They are seen to have numerous shallow but raw claw marks on their backs running across and down.
The unicorn motions to the earth pony's back, and he responds, “Diamond Dog. Co-worker. Think it's goin' places.”
The unicorn nods a bit and adjusts his glasses with his horn. “Griffiness. We've been seeing each other for some time but this was the first time we...”
“Oh yea. Same here.”
There is a moment of silence between the two, when the unicorn says, “Protection?”
“Protection.” The earth pony gives a hoof-bump to the other stallion and laughs.
The scene blurs and over it is imposed an image of thick rubber gloves with smoothly rounded metal over the tips. Underneath is a small logo for the Interstate Protective Products company. A voiceover says, “Interstate Protective Products new prophylactic gloves for griffins and Diamond Dogs. Don't take risks with your health. Remember: No gloves, no love.”
The scene opens on a rather dingy basement office. A bald eagle griffin sits behind a desk, eating fried salmon pieces from a bag while the phone rings. After a few rings and the licking of his talons he picks up the receiver and says, “Hello, Tech Support, have you tried deactivating and reactivating it?” He has a heavy brogue, fresh out of the Kingdom's heart, very much recalling Capal.
The camera moves over to another desk. There sits a large-bodied dark greenish-brown Diamond Dog who is also on the phone. “Now need adjust mana flow through beryl-citrine nodes. Careful to not backflow through thaumatic reservoirs or cause mana stack overflow by wrong press of dongle... hello?” He shrugs and hangs up the phone. “Always hang up.”
“You're lucky, Corundum me friend.” The griffin has the phone down on his desk, while a small voice is barely heard from the earpiece. “I've gotta pretend to listen to them the whole time.”
From the side comes a white pegasus mare with a cornflower mane. She heads into a small private office screaming, “Don't look at my hooves!”
Corundum the Diamond Dog looks at that with a tilt of his head. “That seem strange?”
“Not for here, Cor. Not for here.”
A title card comes up, showing the trio in pixel-based video game form. Also in pixel form is the title, “Tech Supportive.” A voice with a slight Trotingham accent says, “Mondays at eight, Gem, Corundum and Rex will offer you all the support they think you deserve. Tech Supportive. Your call is important... to someone else.”
The camera shows an image of a light brown earth stallion with a salt-and-pepper mane and a beard and mustache, strolling casually through the Grand Veldt with zebras around him. He suddenly notices something the zebras miss and pulls up a particular odd-looking plant, and is praised by the zebras. A voice over the scene says, “He once walked across hot coals because he wanted to get to the buffet on the other side.”
The same stallion is seen throwing a long stick, the scene some kind of indistinct forest. The camera pulls back to show that he is repeatedly throwing a timberwolf's right foreleg, which the three-legged creature eagerly fetches and brings over, again and again. “He owns three airships, and uses them at once so he can carry his own amazing presence. He is the most interesting stallion in Equestria.”
The stallion is seen once again, sitting at a table. Beside him are a jenny and a griffin hen, pressing in securely. He is holding up a bottle of ale, looking quite smooth and cool. When he speaks it is with a slight Caballito accent, “I don't always drink ale. But when I do, I prefer Dos Equus.” The bottle is shown in closeup, showing the two stylized horse heads crossed at the necks. The stallion is highlighted again, giving the camera a sage gaze. “Keep wanting it, my friends.”
Brassy instrumental music plays over action-heavy scenes of animation. A buffalo bull, a Changeling male, a middle-sized Diamond Dog female, a gray donkey male, a booted eagle hen and a unicorn mare run through mountains and smash through robots. “Weekday afternoons at three, the galaxy cheers on the six brave cosmonauts whose discovery on an alien world has brought a way to oppose the Great Vault Empire.”
The characters are shown again wearing form-fitting colored jumpsuits and sitting in control stations filled with blinking lights. The scene cuts to show each one piloting a giant robot of their own species. With a flash and another cut the six robots have combined into a single giant bipedal robot, with the donkey and buffalo heads as feet, the Diamond Dog and Changeling heads as hands, the griffin head in the center of the chest, with the wings spread out in back, and the unicorn head topping it all.
That image becomes a white silhouette over which is placed a chrome-looking set of letters, which the announcer reads. “GoTron, Guardian of the Galaxy.”
“New on the Cooking Channel.” The cultured announcer's voice speaks over silent video of Donut Joe LeGrand and his husband Gustave LeGrand in the kitchen. They seem to be alternately narrating their activities and making comments to one another. “Celebrity chefs and restauranteurs Gustave LeGrand and Donut Joe LeGrand will take you behind the scenes, sharing favorite recipes and personal moments.”
The two are out of the kitchen, cuddled up together and gently rubbing their chubby cheeks together. Gustave is stroking along Joe's side, and Joe is using his magic to stroke Gustave's mustache. “Live, love, and cook on our latest, Cooking with Gustave and Joe. Premiering this Sunday evening at seven, on the Cooking Channel. Feed your soul.”
A black screen slowly fades into a silhouette of the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well. “She saved the city of Detrot from the Trickster.” A black-and-white image of the Mare-Do-Well standing on a restrained stallion wearing tattered motley and wearing smeared clown makeup crosses the screen. “She returned Professor Frigid to the path of harmony.” Another image crosses the screen, the Mare-Do-Well bumping hooves with an ice-covered unicorn. “And now she faces her biggest challenge in Manehattan...”
An explosion rocks the screen, startling a group of well-dressed ponies. “Fillies and gentlecolts...” A rasping voice emerges from an ancient unicorn mare, with a black mane pulled back in a severe bun, and a white coat covered in bits of rubble. Over her mouth is some kind of mechanical device that rasps softly from within. “My name is Pain. Obey me and I will make you all unimaginably wealthy. All your wildest dreams of avarice will come true.”
“With the help of the Black Knight...” A stallion wrapped completely in black clothing save for an oily black mane sticking out of the back of his face wrappings appears on the screen with Mare-Do-Well, the two seeming to be sizing one another up, “The technological servant of justice will stand strong against the wild excesses of the monster mare, Pain.”
Quick cuts show riots in the streets, collapsing buildings, explosions and several scenes of the Mare-Do-Well and Black Knight fighting side by side. The stirring music swells to a crescendo and then bursts into a fading hum on a scene of the Mare-Do-Well with her artificial wings flying over Manehattan, with the Black Knight on her back, watching as a statue of unburdened Trotlas is raised. The screen then goes dark, white letters cutting through the gloom to announce, “The Mare-Do-Well Rises. Coming Summer, next year.”
Fluttershy stands in the center of the camera's view, mostly hiding her face behind her pink mane. She is standing in a beautiful Carousel Boutique original dress, in the middle of a modeling stage. She seems to be speaking, the area near her mouth is lightly moving as if breath is passing, but her hidden face and downcast eyes make it rather hard to tell.
Rarity comes up from the side and gives the reticent mare a kiss on the cheek. “It's alright, darling, don't worry about the camera. Just focus on me.”
Fluttershy smiles, lifts her head and squeaks out, in a just-audible voice, “Umm, my name is Fluttershy. And I think you really should buy your clothes at Carousel Boutique. Rarity is very kind and polite to all her customers. So please, come visit.” Then the pegasus mare clams up again and hides her face in her mane, while the logo for Carousel Boutique comes up.
Flim and Flam appear front and center in the middle of a plastic-looking kitchen set. “Hi, Flim and Flam here!” They say in unison, whipping off their hats and giving a short bow.
Flim settles his hat on his head and pulls over a wooden and metal device about the size of a bread machine, designed much like an electrical ice cream churner. “And we are presenting to you this fine and dandy little device. Care to tell them what it is, brother?”
“Brother it would be my pleasure.” Flam sets his hat on his head and miles to the camera. “Here we have our modernized, conceptualized and miniaturized grand electrothaumatic cider press, the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy One Thousand!”
“Indeed, indeed, brother!” Flim takes over again, using his horn to light up various features of the device. “Note the built-in quality-control device, a patented feature exclusive to this device. The processing matrix uses all available liquid without draining the seeds of harmful alkaloids. The convenient and easy-clean filtration system removes all traces of seeds, skin and stem while retaining all the pulpy goodness that the discriminating cider drinker demands, and not a bit more! Includes a pulp selector allowing for customization!”
Flam taps the device. “And if you call and order right now we will provide, at no extra charge, a coupon for one pound of mail-order Sweet Apple Acres cider apples!”
“Not good enough, brother of mine!” Flam shakes his head and taps to a second device. “Order now and get two of our remarkable devices, and two mail-order coupons, all for just three easy payments of nineteen bits, plus processing and handling!”
Flim nods to the camera. “And if you are not completely satisfied return it for a complete refund, less processing.”
The device is highlighted, and text crosses the screen showing a phone number, fine print, and credit card logos. Another announcer's voice come sup to say, “Order before the end of the commercial for our special double offer. The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy One Thousand. Order today!”
“At Humblebees you're always treated right.” Various, generic scenes of happy diners of many species are shown inside a standard chain restaurant. “Good food, good friends, and a perfect atmosphere for a night on the town. We're your neighborhood restaurant, for all species.”
A duo of diners is shown, a griffin and a Diamond Dog, chowing down on the meals as they are decribed by the announcer. “Try our new herb-roasted salmon, sourced from the Griffin Kingdom, with a savory garlic-pepper sauce. And quartz-infused onion-dill sauce topping a plate of roasted potatoes and duck.”
The new specials are shown at the center of the screen, soon being surrounded by more standard all-vegetarian Equestrian fare. “Come on in to try all your favorites, and maybe find a new dish you'll love. Humblebees. Eating good never felt so great.”
The screen fizzles in while the sound whines, as if the line to the television is being jacked. Then the screen resolves itself there is only a dark, bare studio. In the center is Pricness Luna in her regal finery, as well as a black cloak. Her eyes are white and she is up on two hooves, her forehooves held up to the sky. She hovers lightly as lightning flashes behind her. She faces the camera and screams out in the Royal Canterlot Voice, “WE ARE THE ROYAL PRINCESS LUNA! THOU SHALT LOOK 'PON OUR NIGHT SKY OR SHALL THERE BE A POX 'PON THINE HOME AND THY FAMILY!”
From off camera and above comes the voice of Princess Celestia, speaking with a questioning tone, “Luna? What are you doing down there?”
Luna quickly returns to the ground, her eyes returning to normal. She turns in the direction of the voice and calls up, mildly, “I do naught, sister! Worry yourself not! Have I no designs for mischief this day.”
Celestia doesn't answer for a moment, and sounds just slightly disbelieving when she does. “Alright, Luna. Lunch is ready. Come on up before it gets cold.”
“Very well, sister. It shall not require much time.” Luna keeps an ear out, waiting for her sister to leave before she turns to the camera again, eyes glowing, rearing up and floating once more, voice back to the high volume, “RECALL! A POX!” The camera then cuts out with a burst of static and the screen goes dark.