//------------------------------// // Curious thoughts // Story: My Little Pony: Return of the Primal Fear // by Lizardsareradical //------------------------------// Chapter 8: Curious thoughts Paramail was in his slickest tuxedo inside the grand Clipclop Casino. Ponies were in their best outfits and were using the golden apple filled slot machines, playing checkers for bits and drinking fruit punch at the bars. There was smooth jazz playing at the theatre. Paramail was playing a game of cards in the corner with this particularly menacing stallion with a brown guard earth stallion in a suit and glasses next to him. This stallion was an earth pony with a grey coat and short, white hair. He was wearing a pure black suit with a black bowtie. He had pure brown eyes, wearing a monocle over one of them. His cutie mark was a monocle. He was sitting upright as he stroked a pure white cat with one of his forehooves. He looked at his hand and smirked as he laid them down. It was four kings. "Four kings. I never lose" The mastermind said in a thick Russian accent as he let out a loud, deep laugh. "Now before I enslave all of Canterlot with my enslaving ray, would you tell me your name?" He then smiled sinisterly. The pegasus stallion kept his cool and only chuckled. He placed his cards on the table face down. He then answered his foe. "The names Mail. Paramail. And Dr. Neigh…" He then flips his cards up. It was a royal flush. "…I also never lose." Dr. Neigh just stamped his hoof in anger and pressed a button under the table. The wall behind him then opened up, revealing Fluttershy wearing a sparkling red gown trapped in a cage, which was hanging over a pool full of sharks with explosives tied to them. "Help me my one and only love." Fluttershy cried out reaching out to Agent Paramail. The teal stallion just blew her a kiss, assured of himself. The supervillain was through with games; he turned to his guard and cried out "ODDITY! GET HIM!" His guard took off his tie and threw it directly at Agent Mail. It spun into the air like a razor boomerang. Paramail quickly ducked under the bowtie and slid to Oddity, tripping him with a hoof. As the guard was in the air, Paramail delivered a quick kick straight to the jaw, knocking him out. He then flew to Dr. Neigh and yelled out "JUDO CHOP!" before hitting the criminal mastermind with a forehoof right behind the neck, taking him out and saving Equestria. He then saw the bow tie coming back and he used his awesome dexterity to grab the tie without harm. He then threw it at the cage, cutting it in half. Fluttershy quickly flew out before the other half went into the explosive shark pool. "Oh my hero." The damsel in distress said with a beautiful smile and eyes gleaming. She flew over to Agent 003, wrapping her hooves around his neck as they flew into the air. She closed her eyes and brought her lips closer to his, as did the savior of Canterlot. They then… -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Paramail woke up to his alarm clock ringing. He then looked around his room, wishing he was still asleep. The room was nice a cozy with a bed with a blue quilt, a desk with several drawers and a closet for clothing, a shelf full of books and a night table with a book known as "003: Dr. Neigh" and an alarm clock. He then sighed and stopped the clock. "Another day for Paramail the delivery pony." He mumbled to himself in disappointment. He loved his job, but hated that it was always the same old thing. Grab some mail, go around, and deliver. Never any adventure or anything too exciting. He admitted that at first flying all around Ponyville was exciting, but now it became almost boring. His parents were mailponies, his aunts and uncles were mailponies, and his grandparents were mailponies. He was just following family tradition. He then got out of the bed, brushed his teeth, washed up a bit and went out. His house was in the third and top floor an apartment complex in Ponyville. He thought the height was perfect for not risk falling to his demise while sleep walking and not to low that zombie ponies can easily get him. He had the basic living room, a kitchen, a bathroom, a closet, and what he called "The Emergency Room". It was a narrow room full of random items behind breakable glass. Each glass had the words "IN CASE OF…" such as "IN CASE OF FIRE", "IN CASE OF DROUGHT" and "IN CASE OF PARASPITE INVASION". He remembered that parasprite invasion. He yelled "I told you so!" as he hid in his house. But joke was on him, he stayed in his apartment for three weeks straight, eating nothing but canned dandelion seeds. The most striking part of "Baldy's" house was the security of it. All the walls were pure brick cemented together, which he did himself. There were also only three exits; one door and two windows, with one of the windows on the ceiling. Each entrance was heavily fortified, each with three locks and two chains. Paramail just grabbed some breakfast, grabbed his mail bag and keys, unlocked the side window and exited. He then turned and locked all three locks. He then headed to work. Just another bland old day. He then realized something. Wait a minute? I'm an Element of Harmony! Maybe one day I'll be needed! But then he frowned to himself. But even if that day comes, would I even be ready to face whatever shows its ugly face? He then proceeded to fly to the mail station. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meanwhile in Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack, Applebloom and Big Macintosh were squishing apples to make apple juice. The youngest then realized that they needed more jugs to contain the apple juice. "Sis." Applebloom called out, getting her attention. "We need a couple more jugs to fill up. Can you get some?" Applejack never said no to a chore and nodded. She jumped right out of the juicing tub and trotted towards the cellar. "Be right back you two! Don't ya'll just stop stamping now!" The Element of Honesty called out to her siblings. All she heard was an "Eeyup" which was good enough for her. He proceeded to open the cellar and entered. I was quite dark in there and the light bulb was sub-par at best, but she managed to spot the apple juice containers on the top of the shelf. It was a bit of a reach, but she never gave up easily, so she kept trying to grab a container with her forehooves. She stretched too far and accidently tipped over a container. "Shoot!" She muttered as she heard the container break from behind the shelf. She rushed over to clean it, but found a chest she never saw before, hidden under cobwebs. Applejack opened the chest and saw nothing but baby toys. She excavated further through the chest and found a picture in a frame. The picture had a dark magenta mare with a black mane and a dark blue pony with the same colored mane. It was a portrait of Auntie Razzi and Uncle Bluebarry in their younger years. She then looked further at the picture and noticed that on Razzi's back was a newborn colt. The infant had a pure blue coat and a tiny, dark blue mane. Due to the appearance of the picture, Applejack had a feeling that this foal should already be around her age. But never has she seen him in any of the reunions. "Hey AJ! What's taking so long?" Applebloom called out rather impatient. She was knocking on the door. Applejack decided to take the picture with her, along with a couple of juice containers. After work, she planned on asking Granny Smith who this cousin of hers was. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the jungle of Phobos, Screameater, Trixie, and Blubayou were watching what Anvillain can do. Screameater used his magic to remove all of the fog from the island so they can see better. The construct already smashed five rocks, knocked down three trees, and scared off an entire manticore. Screameater quickly and loudly clapped while Trixie and Blu just stared in horror and disbelief. They imagined what this Anvillain thing could do to a real pony. Trixie then tried to get the thought out of her head by attempting a conversation with the amphibipony next to her. She'd rather talk to anypony else, but the only other choice was a diabolical madpony enjoying himself by watching an iron stallion wreck an island. "Soooo?" Trixie asked hesitantly, getting Blu's attention. "If the boss can't get off this island himself, how did you get here?" She was actually quite curious about this. Blubayou frowned a bit, quite upset. Even his ears and the sail on the back of his head drooped down. Trixie almost regretted asking him. "Well madam Trixie." Blubayou said with hints of sadness. "The master said that my parent abandoned me here. He found me and raised me as his own foal." He then rolled his eyes. "Seriously? Why would my parent abandon me?" Trixie could think of a few reasons, but didn't have the heart to say. "I owe everything to Screameater." The blue, aquatic pony then looked up to the sky with glory in his yellow eyes. "And I will help him reclaim his rightful throne from his sisters!" Trixie was surprised at how loyal Screameater's subject was. He was willing to take a lightning bolt for his master, willing to be banished to the harshest of lands, and probably even willing to be imprisoned in the Canterlot dungeons for the rest of his life. Trixie was going to continue to conversation, but was interrupted by Screameater's cheering. "SPLENDID JOB YOU INCREDIBLE IRON MONGER!" The fallen prince called out to Anvillain as the golem smashed a large boulder to pieces with one head butt. He sounded almost like a fan boy. The unicorn and "earth" pony were less interested. "Trixie thought that was nice." "S'alright." They then weakly clapped with little enthusiasm. But when they saw their master glare at them, they began applauding and cheering. All Screameater could think about was how excited he was at sending Anvillain, Blu, Trixie and a bunch of Mara into Ponyville to find more ponies for the ritual. He then chuckled to himself as he watched Anvillain's decimation of the surrounding area. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was the middle of the afternoon and Rarity was working on a fancy new dress for a Canterlot filly. Sweetie Belle had to be the one who wore the sample dress, as she was the only one around of that size. "I don't know sis. It's itchy." Sweetie complained to her her older sister as she chaffed in the golden, frilly outfit. Rarity just looked at her work, analyzing every bit of the garment. She then looked at her sibling and shrugged. "It'll be fine for now. I'll work on it later. Just have to do a little adjustments." She then used her magic to take off the dress and smiled. "You can go play with your friends now." She then gestured towards the door, which suddenly was knocked on. "Wonder who that would be." Rarity said to her sister. She wasn't expecting any guests and Sweetie was supposed to go to Applejack's house. She opened the door and saw Paramail with a package of new materials. "Heya Rarity!" The mailpony hollered as she passed her the package. He then smirked a bit. "Haven't seen you very often." He then put his forehooves at his sides, awaiting her reaction with a smile. That reaction was bewilderment and surprise as she started to speak. "But we just met yester…" "OH I GET IT!" Sweetie Belle called up, laughing as scurried outside. Rarity took a second to get the joke, and then groaned at the horrible play on words. She then faked a chuckle. The unicorn mare then made a more friendly expression and nodded. "Why thank you Paramail. I…appreciate it." She then called into the house. "Spike! Can you take the trash in?" Within seconds, Paramail saw Spike walk out of the boutique and to the entrance, where an empty garbage can lay. Paramail looked at Rarity, then looked at Spike, and then Rarity again confused. She sure knows how to get somepony wrapped around her hoof. Was what went through his mind. Come to think of it, how did he get himself into doing chores for Rarity? He then put his hoof on his chin and pondered. Wait one moment! When I said that I was going to Rarity yesterday, he was jealous. And now he is being almost a servant of sorts. He must have even begged Twilight to let him work for her. The mailpony then almost gasped. OF COURSE! SPIKE MUST HAVE A CRUSH ON RARITY! WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT? "Hello? Equestria to Mr. Baldpony!" Paramail snapped back to reality and saw the little unicorn filly poking his leg. He moved a bit and awkwardly smiled. "Sorry my bad." Baldy said as he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Sometimes I just get too lost in thought." Sweetie Belle just looked up at the mailpony stumped. She then slightly tilted her head. "How can you be lost if you're right in front of us?" Paramail was about to answer, but the fashion pony just put a hoof in his mouth. "Now, now Sweetie Belle. The mailpony is quite busy." Rarity delightfully said trying to make thing less awkward. She then turned to the pegasus. "Don't you?" Paramail thought for a second then shook his head. "Fraid not. My shift is over." He then saw the two unicorns eyes wide open, looking at something behind them. He turned around to look and made the same reaction. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Spike was lifting up the large garbage can with all of his might. But then he looked from behind the trash can. It was Coocoodrill with a large topaz in his hoof. Behind him was Pinkie Pie and four mine carts full of various jewels. He had a mischievous smile. The green pony stallion then yelled out to the dragon. "GARBAGE DAY!" Spike had no idea why he just said that. But then the green stallion flung the topaz at Spike, who just shouted "YEAH" as he caught the jewel. The dragon just fell over from the force of the throw. The dragon then started munching on the gemstone. Coocoodrill and Pinkie then pushed the carts to the front of the boutique. "Hiya Rarity! Hiya Sweetie Belle! Hiya Baldy!" Pinkie Pie greeted all three of the awestruck ponies as if what they did was no big deal. Rarity just gulped and slowly asked. "How…did…you…find so many?" Coocoodrill and Pinkie just thought for a moment. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was about noon and Pinkie Pie and Coocoodrill were at the mines. They looked at a wall in a cave with many gems embedded inside. As Pinkie was about to use a pick, her friend motioned his hand to stop. He then showed her an entire bag of dynamite. Pinkie just nodded in excitement. They planted the explosives into the wall and Coocoo got the longest fuse. He then signaled for the pink mare to take cover around the corner as he lit the fuse. He then trotted to the cover and the two ponies covered their ears. They both heard and loud explosion along dust and jewels flying everywhere. When they took a peek, they saw a huge pile of gems. Rubies, sapphires, emeralds, and diamonds everywhere. They then noticed that a large Diamond Dog was standing in front of the jewels. He had soot all over his face and he was dizzy. By the looks of it, he was caught in the blast. The two ponies just smiled sheepishly and put a giant apology diamond in his hand. As they began collecting the jewels, the diamond dog just collapsed over. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Found it." Was all Pinkie and Coocoo could say. Rarity paused for a few seconds, then trotted over to the jewels like a little filly. She looked as if she was about to squeal in excitement. Spike could've sworn he saw little ruby hearts in her eyes. The unicorn then grabbed a chunk of jewels from one cart and flung them into the air as she shouted in joy. "Thank you so much you two." Rarity told Pinkie and Coocoo as she hugged them both in gratitude. Spike just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. Paramail just felt jealous that they went on an adventure while all he did all day was deliver mail. The most exciting thing he did was lift a box that said "fragile". "Was nothing Miss Rarity." The green stallion told the white mare as he walked to one of the mine carts. He then grabbed himself a small emerald. He then looked towards Rarity and asked. "May I?" The white unicorn nodded in approval and before she could react, all five of them saw him swallow the emerald whole with a face of satisfaction. Rarity, Sweetie Belle, Paramail and Spike visibly winced, but Pinkie just smiled. Coocoodrill then had a sudden idea as he took a glance at both Paramail and Spike. He then walked over and put hoof around the dragon. "I've just had a wonderful idea. Why don't we have a "Guy Time" later today?" Coocoodrill asked looking at both Paramail and Spike. "Like right now?" Paramail just passively shrugged. "Sure. Why not? Got nothing better to do." The mailpony then walked towards the green unicorn. Spike thought for a moment. He had to see Twilight later, but he never really had a friend that was a guy. And who knows, maybe this guy was fun. He then looked at Rarity for a moment, he still had some work to do. He then realized that he was quite bored of what he was doing. He then realized that he didn't have much to do, and anything left, she could do without any problems. So the dragon just dashed into the house with the garbage can and then dashed right back out. He then went right next to Coocoodrill. "Hey Rarity." Spike asked almost groveling. "Can I please go with Coocoodrill for "Guy Time"?" He then put on his cute face. Rarity and Sweetie Belle just rolled their eyes. Rarity then begrudgingly nodded. "Fine. But don't stay around for too late. Twilight expects you to come back home." "Don't worry Rare!" Coocoo assured the elegant pony as he patted Spike's head. "I'll be like a father to him." Spike just jumped into the air and hugged Rarity's foot. "Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!" He was so close to kissing her hoof but was interrupted by Pinkie Pie. "OH! OH! OH! CAN I BE PART OF "GUY TIME" TO?" The pink mare loudly asked her green buddy as he hopped up and down. Coocoodrill thought for only three seconds. He then put a hoof on her back. "WHY NOT?" Spike and Paramail just looked at one another for a second and then shrugged. It sort of got rid of the point of "Guy Time", but it was no big deal. Pinkie was no Twilight Sparkle or Rarity. "Well what are we waiting for?" Pinkie questioned the three guys. "LET'S GO BOWLING!" She then trotted off to town. Coocoodrill quickly followed and Paramail put Spike on his back and flew off towards the eccentric ponies. "I'll keep an eye on him!" Paramail called to Rarity as he flew off. After they left, Rarity used her magic to get all of the jewels into chests for each kind of gem. Sweetie Belle just watch bored. "Can I go see Applebloom and Scootaloo now?" The little filly asked her sister almost pouting. "We're trying to become wildlife rangers." Rarity was so busy admiring the different gems, that she just put up a hoof and gestured her to "go ahead". Sweetie Belle just shrugged and left. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meanwhile in Canterlot, the Mara disguised as Prince Blueblood was wandering the streets, seeing the great sights. All the better to see the ponies happy now before hearing them scream later. But as he was sightseeing, a large bucket of blue paint landed straight onto his head. His head was in the bucket and the paint got all over his face and clothes. "OH GOSH!" A brown, buck toothed colt in am white shirt and green hat shouted out in panic. He knew of Blueblood's reputation and was afraid to feel his wrath. So the pony slowly got down from his ladder and took the bucket off "Blueblood's" head. "I am so sorry Mister..." The pony was interrupted by the royal unicorn's hoof going into the air. The brown stallion sensed a crowd gathering around. The reaction he got from Blueblood was just a pat on the head. "It's quite alright good sir." The prince told the pony not at all angry. He then shouted out to the crowd, actually laughing. "AT LEAST I'M REALLY BLUE NOW!" All of the ponies were just confused that the Prince was just being so humble and friendly. They got even more stumped when they saw the prince give all his bits to the brown earth pony. "Here's some bits for your thoughts. Mr...?" The regal pony said to the buck toothed stallion in a respectful manner. He then hinted at wanting to know his name. "Hayseed Turniptruck." The brown pony answered back in his good mood. He just earned a ton of bits. Maybe he should have dumped paint on him earlier. "Well then Hayseed." Prince Blueblood told the stallion as he bowed down to him. "Good day to you." And then he turned to the crowd and shouted. "ANY CLOTHES BOUGHT ON THIS STREET IN THE NEXT THIRTY MINUTES ARE ON MY TAB!" The crowd just cheered for him. A group of ponies picked him up and made a small parade down the street to celebrate the prince. The Mara prince just laid back, content with how he was doing. Fun first, business second. He then just smiled to himself.