//------------------------------//
// Chapter 9 - A Terrible Curse 
// Story: The Pony That Never Was 
// by Scootareader 
//------------------------------//

	Enigma didn't feel like getting up today. She didn't feel like moving. She didn't even feel like living through today.

Another day with nopony remembering her. She can talk to ponies, sure, and affect the world around her, but nothing meaningful would ever come of it. Despite how hard she was trying to keep Twilight away from Cottontooth, it seemed she would be doomed to fail. Things were just getting so pathetic.

Big Macintosh liked her. Or, rather, would like her, if he knew her past one day. It seemed all but worthless to try to pursue him at all. Or Twilight. Or anypony that she could possibly ever have feelings for.

The one pony that would ever remember her past a simple, forgettable dream was Cottontooth. He didn't even exist right now, and even if he did, Enigma sure wouldn't want to find him. He was nothing but a... a...

Words escaped her. What was wrong with Cottontooth? Maybe he was a little obsessive, but he had good reason. Twilight was about the best thing that had ever happened to him, and it was understandable that he wouldn't want to lose a good thing. He didn't seem to be emphasizing her nonexistence lately, either; in fact, since she'd proven that she lived these days without him, he may even be starting to believe that she existed in some way. What else did she have to criticize him on?

She had nothing. She'd never had anything. She was just jealous that Cottontooth could swoop in and take away the mare she'd known she'd be happy with. And, unlike Cottontooth, Enigma hadn't acted crazy obsessive at any point. Well, if you discount the fact that Enigma slept on Twilight's guest bed every night she could.

Where was Enigma happy? Not this house. Not this town that would never remember her. Not anywhere in Equestria, as far as she could tell. Nowhere, except...

Was she happy in Twilight's home? Was she really? Twilight made her happy. Seeing Twilight would make Enigma happy; talking to her, hearing her, smelling her, feeling her... this would all make Enigma happy.

Who was Enigma? Who had been Enigma before? Why, she couldn't remember. Did Enigma have a past? A present? A future? Was she a mystery? Was she a riddle? A puzzle? A joke?

Ponies come, ponies go,
And one pony sees all of time flow.
Unexplainable, unknowable, but always around,
A pony whose sadness knows no bounds.
In agony, in anguish, she rails against all,
Finding glimmers of hope, then crushed as she falls,
Crying in pity, daring to dream, to care,
As all of her world becomes despair.
Who is this mare, so broken, so sad,
A pony with no name, that's been driven mad,
A memory, a prank, an April Fool's joke,
Given form and forgotten, a terrible yoke,
Pulling and pulling through death and rebirth,
Sometimes wishing she'd never felt earth.
Until the day she knows she's never existed,
And the bonds of fate all become twisted,
Because this pony wants to be heard,
She simply knows to utter one word.
What word? you may ask,
What gives one this voice?
A statement, a command,
That carries a choice.
A choice that she makes,
For better or worse,
And decisions she lives with,
Will become her curse.
And who is this pony?
So forgotten and lost,
Will she stay lonely,
Or if not, at what cost?

Who am I?

Enigma.

“No.”

She stated the word. Simply, plainly. Quiet, yet powerful.

She got out of her bed. She knew what she was going to do today.

As she walked through the town proper of Ponyville, Enigma saw everything in a renewed sense. She existed, here and now. She would always exist, here and now. It didn't matter if ponies remembered her or not; she remembered her. That would be enough.

A few minutes later, she was knocking on the door of the tree house. Spike opened the door, and Enigma pushed her way through. Spike, being startled by this unknown pony, jumped back in surprise before saying, “What? What do you want from us?”

“I need to talk to Twilight Sparkle.”

Spike ran downstairs. It seemed Twilight was performing experiments again. She came up a few moments later, a somewhat panicked Spike in tow, and asked, “Yes? Why are you scaring my baby dragon?”

Time to be as straight as possible. “Twilight, my name is Enigma.” Ignoring the look of shock in Twilight's eyes, she continued, “I've been living in Ponyville for over a week now, and you don't remember me because nopony does... except Cottontooth. I am a figment of his imagination, and I've been given this dream world to live in and see and talk to ponies. Ever since I came into existence, you have been the highlight of my days, the Celestia and Luna of my life, and the Cadance of my symphony. Tomorrow, you will remember nothing of what happens today, and I can live with that. The one thing that I can't live with, however, is knowing that you will always be just out of my reach. I don't think it's selfish to ask... but can you give me just one day of happiness?” She knew it wouldn't work, but she had run out of straws to grasp at.

“I know you.” Twilight said it plainly, but it sounded like the entire world had come down on Enigma. “I remember your name. When you said it to me. I remember who you are, and I remember what you've done. Not a lot... but a little.”

This was the strangest bit of news that Enigma had ever heard. A pony that remembered her, as in, herself?

“Spike! Take a note, please.” Spike produced a quill and parchment and Twilight said, “I, Twilight Sparkle, hereby announce the... arrival of Enigma to Ponyville, and the close friendship that she has created with me. I swear to remember her and never forget that she is there for me. I send this letter to Princess Celestia to be copied and sent back, and will never forget this friendship that has been shared. Signed, Twilight Sparkle. Oh, and put the date at the bottom.”

The letter was sent, then returned several minutes later, with Spike belching out another letter from Princess Celestia congratulating Twilight on how well she was doing with her studies. After this short period of time, Twilight and Enigma stood in the library for a little bit longer, looking everywhere but at each other and smiling awkwardly. Eventually, Twilight said, “So... where would you like to go today?”

Enigma smiled encouragingly. “Probably something to eat, first.”

Enigma and Twilight proceeded to have one of the best days that Ponyville would ever offer. They talked. They laughed. They enjoyed each other's company. They were as happy as two mares could be on Celestia's fine day.

No cloud would hang over this day. Enigma wouldn't let it. Whenever a shadow began to creep up, she would banish it. Twilight was content, and Enigma was overjoyed. Whenever she remembered this day, Enigma would remember a clear blue sky with a mare she loved. Whenever Twilight dreamed of this day, she would dream of a clear blue sky with the mare of her dreams.

They ate sweets at Sugarcube Corner. They walked through Whitetail Woods. They went window shopping at all the stores and stalls. Wherever Enigma wanted to go, Twilight was with her, happy, smiling, enjoying herself. A day that Enigma wished would never end.

As the sun began to sink below the horizon to make a spectacular Equestrian sunset, Enigma sighed unhappily. Twilight looked concernedly at Enigma. “Is something wrong?”

Enigma nodded. “I have to sleep alone tonight.”

“Well, then, come stay with me tonight!” Twilight said it with barely even a moment's hesitation.

Enigma brightened a little. “All right!”

They got back to the tree house and found a note left by Spike for Twilight. It read,

“Dear Twilight,
Gone to help Rarity with something. Could take all night.
Sincerely, Spike”

How convenient. The best day of Enigma's life would be spent with nopony but the mare she wanted to spend the best day of her life with. She had a nice dinner with Twilight in Twilight's home that consisted of a few flowers and some hay, the both of them smiling over their simple, yet perfect meal.

After they ate, they both headed up to the loft to get to sleep. Twilight hopped into her bed, and Enigma walked sadly to the guest bed, wriggling under the covers. Twilight looked at Enigma for a short time, then smiled. “You know, you don't have to sleep alone, either.”

Enigma blinked, shoving her cyan curls out of her face to give Twilight a very discerning look. She slowly got out of her bed, then walked over to Twilight's bed. This just seemed... unreal. Not after one day. Not Twilight.

Did Twilight think she would remember this tomorrow? Did she know if she would? Would she regret it? Was she afraid? Oh, none of it mattered. Twilight was inviting Enigma to see a world she'd only imagined before now. Of course she was going to take it.

Enigma hopped onto the bed, pulled the sheets back, and crawled under the sheets. As her coat came into contact with Twilight's, the small lavender-colored librarian shivered. This was truly the best night of Enigma's life.


Enigma groaned as she woke up. Not out of any uncomfortability; because she hadn't wanted to wake up alone on the guest bed. She remembered the night's events, but she wouldn't just lie here and re-live them; she had things she needed to do.

She hopped off the bed before Twilight or Spike even stirred and went outside. Cottontooth, having exhausted himself from the previous day's events, was not outside this morning. Enigma decided she would pay him a visit.

That is, if she knew where he lived. She did have knowledge of the real estate in the area, but that was several dozen homes to go search. She had to narrow it down, and standing here thinking about it wasn't going to change much. She decided to work out, checking all of the homes systematically until she found one that was being lived in, then finding the pony who lived there.

She spent about half of her day in a fruitless search of Cottontooth's home, seeing no sign of either him or a house he may be living in. She did see Twilight trotting through the town proper, seeming intent on nothing more than going for a walk and humming happily to herself, absorbed in her thoughts and not really seeming to care what was going on around her.

She sighed as the sun went down. She'd searched just about every home, and there was no sign of the stallion. In fact, there was only one home left that she hadn't checked... hers. She rolled her eyes and went to her... house, after a fashion. She hadn't been here since her second day in Ponyville, but she had thought she would have noticed him before.

Approaching her closed and locked door, she shut her eyes and glided through the entryway, opening her eyes and looking around. Abandoned, apparently. Yet, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was here. She decided to investigate further.

She scoured a good portion of the house, seeing nothing and finding nothing. She spent a good 30 minutes scouring the entire place top to bottom, to no avail. She gave up, walking to the door before sighing and saying, “I wish I knew where you were.”

As she closed her eyes to walk back through the door, she heard a weak, “E... Enigma?” from somewhere in the vicinity of the couch. He'd been right under her nose the entire time!

She trotted over to Cottontooth. It was time to tell him what happened. “Cottontooth, I... uh... holy Celestia, what happened to you!?”

The now-crimson red stallion was coated in sweat and shaking. He looked up at her and smiled weakly. “Caught something bad. Don't know what it is, but something inside me just feels wrong. Serves me right for treating you so badly.”

She couldn't kick a pony while he was down. Not even Cottontooth. She sighed and looked at him. “I... was worried about you. I looked all over Ponyville. I finally found out that you were here. I want to help.”

He attempted to still his shaking hooves, but couldn't seem to master himself. A small bubble of drool escaped from his lips. “Don't know... what's wrong with me... doctor, doctor...”

She didn't know what caused her to do what she did next. She fully expected nothing to happen, and for things to just go on as they were. She reached out and touched Cottontooth. Felt him. Then she held him up and embraced him.

Immediately, Cottontooth's seizure subsided. His eyes seemed to lose some of the murk that had been clouding them, and he wiped his mouth with his hoof. He looked her in the eyes. “I'm dreaming.”

“No, you're not.” And she kissed him.

A half-second later, she passed through him and fell flat on the floor. He'd felt it, though. He felt her. And he knew it. He sighed. “Why are you doing this to me, Enigma? You know that I want nothing more than you, but why do you have to pass through me? We've kissed before, back in Canterlot. And you... you don't remember that, do you?”

A fleeting moment. A teasing touch. A momentary happiness. A maddening experience, every time. She knew how he felt. A pony that couldn't touch another, would never touch another, in the only world that mattered. She'd made Twilight happy... but at what cost? It was tearing Cottontooth's mind apart. He needed Twilight. If he was going to make it through this alive, he needed her.

“Cottontooth, get up. We need to go find Twilight.”

He seemed puzzled. “Why is that?”

“You need her. You can't live like this—why is there nothing here, anyway?”

Cottontooth looked at her oddly. “I have nothing. I came here with nothing, from Canterlot. Only memories.”

An abandoned home for an abandoned stallion. He needed a friend who would never abandon him. That friend had to be Enigma, it seemed. She had the dream world to live in, anyway. That was enough for her... hopefully.

She attempted to push against his rump with her head. “C'mon, up!” Her head passed through as she said this, resulting in her lunging forward and hitting her face on the floor. She giggled as she stood back up, Cottontooth rising with her. It was time to go find Twilight.

A small amount of goading from Enigma convinced Cottontooth to simply ask somepony if they'd seen Twilight come by recently. Fluttershy quietly nodded and pointed towards Whitetail Woods. Cottontooth took a deep breath and heading towards Whitetail Woods at a quickened trot, Enigma close behind him.

When they found her, Twilight was quietly humming to herself and inspecting the foliage. She looked at Cottontooth and smiled. “Hello, Cottontooth! Come to enjoy the fine summer day we've been having? I personally think it's--”

“Twilight, I need to tell you something.” Cottontooth didn't seem like he could wait another second.

“Oh? And what might that be?”

“I need you.” Cottontooth looked desperate. “I don't think I can take being alone any longer. I've been alone all my life, and nothing has ever made me happy until I found you. Nothing will ever make me happy unless I get to stay with you.” His beseeching eyes looked deeply into hers. “Please, Twilight. You would make me the happiest stallion in the world if you would just... be with me.”

Twilight seemed to actually consider what Cottontooth was saying. She stayed silent for a few moments, looking at him. She opened her mouth, then closed it again. She looked away for a few moments, up into the sky, the sun slowly dropping below the horizon, and then her eyes rested back upon Cottontooth.

“No.”

Twilight stated the word. Simply, plainly. Quiet, yet powerful.

I'm a monster.

Cottontooth let out a powerful sob and crumpled to the ground. All of the fight drained out of him. He finally gave in, as Enigma had told him so many times. As she'd encouraged him to do. As she'd always wanted him to do. Because she was a monster.

There was nothing wrong with Cottontooth. Enigma was the horrible pony.

Twilight simply said, “I'm sorry, Cottontooth. It just wasn't meant to be.” She walked off and left him there, sobbing, a pitiful wreck of a stallion that had been broken and trodden upon.

Enigma was torn. She wanted to stay and try to comfort Cottontooth in whatever way she could, but she was fairly certain that nothing she could say or do would help him at this point. After a short period of indecision, she resolved to do some fact-finding, telling Cottontooth, “I'm going to follow Twilight,” and she galloped off to follow the librarian.

Enigma caught up with Twilight just at the edge of Ponyville. She happened into Fluttershy, who told Twilight that they needed to talk. Twilight nodded and beckoned that she follow her back home, Enigma in close pursuit. The three of them entered the tree house, finding Spike's note stating that he was going to be helping Rarity, and likely wouldn't be back tonight.

Twilight said, “Good... that means Spike won't have to heard this. Do you want something to eat?”

“Oh... um... no. That's all right. But, there is something I need to talk to you about.”

Twilight nodded. “And there's something I need to tell you, too.”

“Oh, really? You go first, then.”

Twilight took a deep breath. “Cottontooth asked me to be with him... or something... while I was walking out in Whitetail Wood. I told him no. I couldn't. It doesn't... feel right. There's something inside of me that says it's wrong.”

“Oh... well, what's wrong?”

“I think...” Twilight looked visibly nervous. “I think I like mares, Fluttershy.”

“Oh, my goodness! Are you sure?”

Twilight blushed. “Yes, I'm sure. It's just this feeling I have.” Then her expression darkened a little bit. “I feel bad about it, though... I left him crying in Whitetail Wood. I can't comfort a stallion like that. He's heartbroken, and I'll never be able to return those feelings. I don't know what to do.”

Enigma didn't hear what Fluttershy said next. Twilight lost eye contact with Fluttershy and her eyes began to wander the room, finally staring straight into Enigma's shocked pupils. Twilight seemed to stare into her soul, almost confirming her existence. And then, just as quickly as she'd focused on Enigma, she looked away.

“That sounds good, but I don't want to give him false hope. If that's all he wants from me, friendship won't solve anything.”

“Oh... you're right. You do what you think is best, Twilight. I've just never been in a situation like this before. Sorry I can't be more help.” Fluttershy seemed genuinely apologetic.

“Oh, no! It's not a problem.” Twilight smiled weakly at her friend's timidness. “I need to get some sleep, though. I've had quite a day!”

Twilight and Fluttershy paid a few more small pleasantries before they went their separate ways. As soon as the door closed, Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. “Well, she took that better than I thought she would.”

Twilight ate a little bit of food, food that she'd shared the evening before with Enigma, and hummed happily to herself. Enigma watched Twilight silently, a million thoughts racing in her head over and over. Twilight finished her meal and went upstairs. She crawled under her sheets, sighed happily, and shut her eyes. Enigma's thoughts disappeared, except for one that echoed over and over, reverberating through her skull, consuming her every thought, her every feeling.

I'm a monster.

She might not be too late. She ran back to get Cottontooth. It was dark out, but she had a feeling he hadn't moved since. Sure enough, he was lying under the stars where she'd left him, still quietly sobbing to himself. Never before had she seen such an unhappy pony.

“Get up, Cottontooth. You have to go home.” Enigma tried to sound commanding, but soft and understanding at the same time. There was no stir from Cottontooth. “This isn't all right. You have to pick yourself up and go home.” Again, nothing. “Fine, I'll pick you up and take you home.”

She fully expected nothing to happen. She expected to pass right through him, and her notion to be in vain. Instead, she lifted him up and put him on her back. She then began to walk back through Ponyville with Cottontooth. Enigma passed by ponies who gave her burden bizarre looks. Their searching eyes tried to find a pony carrying him, but he appeared to be floating. Those ponies who realized backed away, silently galloping into the night. It was all just too surreal for anypony to comprehend. They probably thought it was a ghost. Maybe it was.

She let Cottontooth down onto the ground to open the front door. Oh, silly mare, she couldn't do that. She could touch Cottontooth, though. She tried her best to pull the sickly-looking stallion's hoof up to the doorknob, and after some effort, was rewarded with a click. She dragged him inside and laid him across the couch, curling up beside him. He wouldn't be alone tonight. He couldn't be alone tonight.

I'm a monster... but even monsters can someday atone.





So... I'm thinking one more chapter. And then a prologue. After that, looks like it's on to Discord!
--Scootareader