The moon casts an ominous glow over the green fields on the outskirts of Ponyville. Ornate stones jut out of the ground at various intervals. I’ve been here once before, a little under six months ago. I’ve tried so hard to wipe that day from my memory, but to no avail. The funeral has been etched into my mind.
I walked into the building wearing a deep black dress. A few ponies stood silently next to the casket that laid peacefully on the other side of the room. I was still in denial, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t crying. After what felt like forever, I steadied myself and slowly began to walk to the coffin. It was beautifully made by the most talented carpenter in all of Equestria, as per Princess Celestia’s request. I had began to wonder where the princess was when I finally reached the end of the room.
The sight was surreal.
She was just as beautiful as ever, lying peacefully asleep in the linen container. Her only flaw was that she wasn’t smiling up at me, as if she had just woken from a long nap. Twi just lay there, silently sleeping, and I stood there, silently sobbing. I wished that I’d wake up from the crippling nightmare of reality to a most magnificent bliss, one where I still had her.
I tried my hardest to stop the tears, but all attempts I made were futile. “It’s alright, Rainbow Dash, sometimes it’s best to cry.” An unmistakable, regal voice spoke softly from behind me. Normally I’d compose myself more respectfully in front of the princess, but I was unable to do anything apart from sob.
With Princess Celestia’s arrival, the ceremony started. She gave what was most likely a beautiful eulogy, but I heard none of it through my bawling.
Then, it was my turn to speak. I wasn’t a fantastic speaker in the first place and the setting didn’t help. I had a speech written out, but I crumpled it up and tossed it aside. I slowly stepped to the microphone.
“Twilight Sparkle was the most amazing mare in all of Equestria.” my voice cracks and I run back to my seat, my body was already shaking from the tears.
The rest of the funeral blurs together, and the next thing I knew, I was standing next to a willow tree just like ours. The casket is slowly lowered into the ground, and I say my final goodbye.
And here I find myself once again, in this field, under the willow tree, six months later. It hurts, and I cry. I lay on the soft grass in front of the tombstone, remembering.
I look up at the inscription, “Here lies Twilight Sparkle, faithful student of the Princess, keeper of harmony, amazing friend, beautiful partner.”
I stand, suppressing tears, looking to see that all of my friends have joined me. Surprisingly, Fluttershy is the first to speak, “Do you want to go back to the cottage?”
“No, I want to go home.”
~~~
The door opens with a familiar creak that instantly brings with it a flood of memories. This door used to be a nemesis of mine. How many times had that tell-tale squeak ruined the secret when I had tried to surprise Twilight by coming home from work early or with a super awesome gift of some sort. Twi would hear the creak and instantly know I had something planned. She’d even act surprised to spare my feelings.
I am already filled with memories, and I haven’t even passed the threshold. This will be hard. As I look into the dark room I feel conflicted. I’m glad they listened to my request to leave this place just as it was. But a twang of guilt flows through me as I look at the mess that I caused in my rage. Books lay sprawled across floor. Twi would have a panic attack if she saw the mistreated tomes of knowledge. Spike had returned to Canterlot, so he wasn't here to clean up.
I quickly busy myself with tidying up the room, returning the books to their rightful place. Most of them were textbooks or classics, the kind of stuff Twilight would read. But then I stumble upon a familiar story, "Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone" It's hard to believe I used to be so adamant against the idea of reading; yet another thing that I owe so much to Twi for. I set the book to the side as I finish picking up the area. After some time and effort, the library is looking like its old self. All that was missing was a certain librarian.
If I hadn’t used up all my tears at the cemetery, I’d be crying right now. This place feels so empty. I walk back over to the couch where I put my favorite book down. Maybe an adventure tale would cheer me up. As I open up the book, a slip of paper fell out and onto the ground.
After a brief investigation of the note, I discovered two things. One, it had Twilight’s writing on it. Two, it was addressed to me.
My Dearest Rainbow Dash.
~~~
My Dearest Rainbow Dash,
It’s pretty safe to assume that you’ll want to read this book sometime again in the future, so I decided to leave this note here to surprise you. There are a couple of things I’d like to say to you.
First and foremost, I love you Rainbow Dash. You are the most amazing mare in all of Equestria, and I hope you never forget that. I will always love you, and nothing can ever change that.
I write this the evening after you proposed to me, and I must truly say that this has been the greatest day of my entire life. I know I’ve already said yes once, but I feel the need to repeat myself: yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes, I would love nothing more than to forever be with the most exquisite and fantastic pony I know. Even if things get a bit hectic as we plan the wedding, know that I simply want it to be perfect. For you and for me.
I still am dumbfounded that somepony as perfect as you could love a nerd like me. I always thought I’d be the mare who would be alone forever, with my only books as company. You have changed my life, and the prospect of having you permanently be a part of it still makes me grin. I read somewhere once that true happiness is when you never want to sleep, as the joy of your dreams could never hope to match the joy of your life. This echoes true; when I wake up from whatever fantasy was being played in my sleep and I see you, my bliss is immeasurable.
If you are ever having a bad day, my hope is that you pull out this note, as its sole directive is to make you smile. I love that smile of yours, Dash. That cocky, joyful, caring smile is the most magnificent sight in the world. That smile that still fills my stomach with butterflies and makes my heart skip a beat.
Remember, nothing can ever separate us. If we are apart for whatever reason, remember that I will always be in your heart, no matter how cliche it may sound. Although it may sometimes feel like we will be apart for an eternity, when we do reunite I will love you even more than before, if that is at all possible. I love you, no matter what, don’t ever forget that.
Years will pass; we will grow old. Our time is limited and I wish only that I can spend the remainder of my life with you.
Yours, forever and always,
Twilight Sparkle, soon to be Twilight Dash
Her letter fulfills its purpose, as I sit there rereading the same words over and over again I feel the corners of my mouth pull back. A teary smile sits on my face.
I’m glad I was able to make good on her last request.
~~~
I should probably get some sleep. I’ve been sitting here for hours, just reading the letter over and over again. She wrote this for me before any of this happened, before she got sick. I had a piece of her to hold onto.
I pick myself up off the couch, only to realize how tired I feel. I should probably get to sleep. It’ll be... interesting, to sleep in our bed without her. I sigh as I begin to slowly make my way up the stairs. I round the corner to see the door is slightly ajar. I push it open to see the all too familiar room. Twilight’s telescope still sits at the window. Her posters from her school days are still hanging from the walls. The pile of books that she meant to read are still in a pile next to her nightstand.
Then there are a few of my things strewn about. My saddlebag was laying on the floor next to my side of the bed. A couple pieces of paperwork from my weather patrol are scattered around the desk. On the wall I had hung a single poster: an advertisement for a Wonderbolts airshow, signed by the Wonderbolts themselves. Something about the picture infuriates me. Then it hits me: I can’t be a Wonderbolt if I can’t fly. I tear the paper from my wall, tears of anger already spilling out.
I should just go to sleep. I lay in the bed, but it’s too big to get comfortable. There’s just too much space without the body my special somepony taking up her side. I toss and turn, trying to settle in, but it’s impossible. I end up laying there, my forelegs stretched out, as if reaching out for somepony. I bite down on my lip, trying hard to suppress tears.
So begins another lonely night.
~~~
I open my eyes and find myself in the shade of the familiar tree. Somehow, I’m entirely aware this is a dream. The wind blows softly over the purple flowers, filling the air with the calming aroma of lavender. Only one thing is missing.
“Oh hey, you’re awake.” There she is. I turn around to see her softly smiling at me.
“Twi, I know this isn’t real, but I love you, and I miss you every day. I found your letter, and it did make me smile. Thanks for being amazing.”
Her smile turns into a thoughtful frown, that adorable frown that would often cross her face when she didn’t understand something. “What do you mean?”
“This is just a dream, this is all going on inside my head. Right now I’m asleep in my bed, our bed. You’re not with me, you’re gone, and you’ve been gone for a long time. But that doesn’t change the fact that I love you. And it doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy this time with you.”
“You okay Dash?”
“I’m fine. Actually, I’m better than I’ve been in a while.” I pat the ground next to me, “How ‘bout you take a load off. The sun’s about to set, and it would be nice if we could watch it together.” She shrugs and lies down next to me. I lean my head on her as she nuzzles my neck.
“I wish this moment could last forever.” She breaks the silence. I would’ve loved nothing more than for that to happen, but I know that it can’t be.
I feel the edges of the dream begin to fold in, and I turn to Twilight. “See ya later,” and we part with a farewell kiss.
I open my eyes to find myself lying in our bed, and I realize that I am something that I never thought I would ever be again.
Happy.
~~~
I get up, yawn, stretch, look around, just like any normal day. Well in all honesty, I hardly remember what normal is. The light of the morning sun shines through the sliver of space between the curtain and the window. It’s a new day.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel some sadness somewhere in all of my current emotions. Sadness that a perfect dream had to end, sadness that I didn’t miraculously wake up with Twilight lying next to me. But, for some reason I was happy. I guess I’ve finally caught up to reality, or it has caught up to me.
She’s gone, no amount of moping or whining would change anything. Tears won’t bring her back. I can just move forward, holding onto memories, letting go of regrets. I can be the old me again, just without her.
I pull back the drapes to let the full glory of the sun shine in on the gloomy room. I’m past the depression now; it’s behind me. I’ve accepted the truth and now it’s time to move on.
It’s what she’d want.