//------------------------------// // Chapter 6 // Story: CPS Chronicles: Nightmares and Wormholes // by Largefish8 //------------------------------// Disclaimer: All MLP: FiM characters belong to Lauren Faust and Hasbro. Capt Lynch is mine. MLP Fic pt 6 It had been a week or so since Matt had been returned to humanity and he'd been trying to use the time to catch up on some repairs at the Skyraid. While the automatic repairs had handled most things, some repairs demanded a gentle touch...but Matt was the only crewmember left so he had to do the calibrations on the warp engine. Of course, reading from a manual and doing the actual work are two pretty separate things. Matt glanced from the wrench he was holding to the manual he was reading from. "Is this supposed to be a metric or a bolt wrench?" he muttered to himself. Aria gave a electronic sigh and said "Its supposed to be a screwdriver...are you sure you are qualified for this?" "Hey, I installed a VCR once," said Matt. "Really? And how many times did you have to go buy a new one to replace the one you were trying to install?" said Aria. Matt glared up at the camera that Aria was probably using to watch him and said after a minute "....Twice....THATS NOT THE POINT!" "No, the point is that you don't have the mechanical training to repair so much as a clock let alone an advanced piece of equipment like a warp engine," said Aria. "Ok then, smartarse...who else is gonna do it?" said Matt, smugly. "Oh, if you allow me a few minutes at the wheel, so to speak," said Aria. "NO...I know that AI's and minds can switch places but I do NOT want a repeat of the VR machine incident...plus I don’t trust you with my body." said Matt, a little hastily. Aria sighed and said, "Fair enough. Of course, by the time you finish repairing that, you'll be too bent over to see over the steering wheel." "Bite me, Aria. You want a body so bad...make one." said Matt, sulkily before managing to connect a wire and causing several readouts to pop up. "See? Perfectly fine." he said before the readout screen exploded in his face. Matt blinked before wiping the soot off his face. "I can fix that," he said. “Of course you can, sir.” Said Aria sarcastically. "Aria? Where's the fire axe?" said Matt in a dangerously calm voice. Aria said smugly "I'm not telling." … Pinkie Pie felt that Matt could use some company so she went over to his ship. It didn’t do anypony or any alien good to be by themselves all the time, after all. For some reason, when she arrived she found that he seemed to be very determined to get into the AI core room with what looked like a red axe. "YOU CAN'T KEEP ME OUT FOREVER!" yelled Matt at the door before Pinkie said "What ya doing?" causing Matt to scream and fall over...then scream again when the axe landed on his foot. "Ms. Pie, a...delight to see you again," said Aria, sounding as if she were gritting her teeth. Matt sat up, wincing and thanking his usually mouldy luck that the axe had landed flat first. "Yeah...whats up, pinkie?" he said. "Just wondering if you wanted to do something today," said Pinkie, "The swimming hole's just cool enough today." "Sorry...I've been taking the chance to do a few repairs on the ship. Engine needs alot of work." said Matt apologetically before saying "Hey...you wanna see it? I didn’t really get a chance to give you a tour last time due to homicidal computers." "Sir, I really must advise against-" started Aria before Pinkie said, "Ok," before hopping down the stairs. Matt walked after her, showing the way to where the warp column stood, the crystal matrix humming away creating a kind of rainbow strobe effect at reality energy pulsed through it. "Ooh... pretty," said Pinkie. Matt walked in behind her and said "That it is...hard to imagine there's enough energy through there to encode anything within 30 miles if it breached." Pinkie continued looking at it before saying, "There's a smudge on it." Matt managed to stop her before she touched it. "I wouldn’t do that...packs a shock..." before he stopped, remembering something about smudges in the safety guide. A crackle came from the engine as a pulse of energy encountered the smudge, actually a shorted crystal. On cue the other crystals began to glow... "Ooh, does it clean itself?" asked Pinkie, "I wish I had something that cleaned itself because parties are so fun to throw but then there's so much work cleaning up afterwards. Sometimes I have clean-up parties where all we do is clean, but they don't seem to be that popular for some reason. Maybe I should stop putting soap in the cupcakes I make for those parties." A voice from the reactors VI said "Maintenance alert. Power surge detected...attempting to reroute...failed. Overcharge imminent...please evacuate." "Uh, Pinkie, I think we should move," said Matt. A energy bolt, almost like lightning arced out and blasted a neat hole out of a section of metal, prompting Matt to yell. "MOVE IT!" The voice said again "Warning: Emergency energy purge in progress...all organic lifeforms evacuate." Even Pinkie wasn't oblivious enough to know this was dangerous. She quickly turned tail and headed back towards the stairs. Matt had reached the door and was waiting for pinkie, hands on the blastdoor control when a energy blast from the core hit the stairway, supercharging it with the electricity-like reality energy the ships core made. Matt jumped back from the stairs. Fortunately, he wasn't close enough to have been zapped by them, but the next person to step on them... "PINKIE...STOP!” he yelled too late before the once heard, never forgotten sound of a reality energy discharge was heard. Pinkie lit up like a neon sign, perfectly showing her skeleton underneath before being thrown back by the surge. Matt yelled at Aria "SHUT THE SMEGGING CORE DOWN...NOW DAMMIT!" Immediately, the core shut down, dimming the lights in the room considerably, except for the glow coming from Pinkie's body. "Get the CSUV ready...and if you have any drones in town...tell the locals that I'm coming in." said Matt, looking concerned at the scrambled readings coming from his wrist computer before lifting Pinkie up. "Sir, Ms. Pie has received a massive shock," said Aria. "Tell me something I don't know," snapped Matt. "Sir...this is not electrical...The reality energy should have had no effect...these readings cannot be correct." said Aria before seeing Matts glare on the camera feeds. "The vehicle will be prepared shortly." ... Pinkie's friends hurried over to the nurse's clinic as soon as they got the news. Pinkie was known to bounce back quickly from injuries, but this one sounded serious. They were surprised to see the vehicle from the cargo bay on matts ship outside and Matt slumped against the wall outside the clinic, head in his hands. "Matt, what happened?" asked Twilight. "Accident in engineering...reality energy burst from the core got her as we tried to get out." said Matt in a depressed voice, not even bothering to string a proper sentence. "A burst of what?" asked Rarity. "The stuff that...brought spark to town." said Matt, lowering his voice a little. "But Pinkie's already a pony," said Fluttershy, "You don't mean it made her...like you?" "No...The energy shouldn’t have done anything...except make her even more hyper...Even Aria is stumped and she’s got an I.Q in the 6 digits..." said Matt, "So what did happen to her?" asked Rainbow Dash. "She's out cold...but she was glowing like a night light...that stopped on the way over though." said Matt, remembering the wierd glow. "How long do you think Nurse Redheart will be with her?" asked Applejack. "I dunno...Aria's going over the data from the surge...maybe she'll work it out. Nobody really knows how reality energy works..." said Matt. "How do you use something if you don't know how it works?" asked Twilight. "Some of the rumors say the NSC got it from ancient tech they recover. To be honest, I think they're right." said Matt, gloomily. Just then, Nurse Redheart came out. "Well, I've done the best I can," she said, "She'll definitely live." Matt began to say "If there's anything me or Aria can do to help..." "Well, I'd like to know what happened," said Nurse Redheart, "She was struck by lightning, right?" The other ponies turned to look at Matt suspiciously as he said "Yeah...my damn ships a lightning rod." "Well, I don't see any scars, and her pulse is strong, but I think there might have been some psychological shock," said Nurse Redheart. "As long as she’s going to be ok..." said Twilight, still glaring at Matt until Redheart left. Matt immediately said "What? I shoulda said that my ships core almost deep fried her? That woulda made me REALLY popular." "She could have used the information," said Rarity. "Oh sure, like there's a chapter in her medbook as to how to treat reality energy shock," said Matt. Matt was about to continue before his wrist computer beeped. "Alert...incoming wormhole." "Oh no, Darius is coming! Take cover!" cried Matt before hiding behind the vehicle. The ponies looked around, noticing the abscence of any human death squads before Matt got up, dusting himself down in a feeble attempt to salvage his self-respect. "I think that fancy watch of yours need tuning," said Applejack. Matt glared at the ponies grins. "This never happened." he said, looking at the warning angrily before pressing the diagnostic button. The wrist computer beeped before saying, "All systems are working perfectly." "Stupid junk" muttered Matt before saying "I suppose all we can do is wait till Pinkie wakes up." Fluttershy paused and turned. She thought she saw something pink in the corner of her eye. And not her hair, but the same bright bubblegum pink that Pinkie's coat was. But when she looked properly, she didn't see anyone. … Matt spent the night going over arias scans, trying to work out what the hell was going on. "C'mon, there's got to be a glitch here somewhere," muttered Matt. "Sir, the scanners were working fine," said Aria. "I think I would have noticed if a wormhole was opening up," said Matt. "It is probably a micro-wormhole caused when the core grounded the overcharge." said Aria, calmly. Matt sighed "That doesn;t explain why Pinkie is in the land of nod. All she should have is even frizzier hair." "Well, Ms. Pie is hardly the most stable of sentient beings," said Aria. "Oh please...she seemed...seems perfectly fine to me." said Matt, correcting himself when he noticed he’d started verbally drafting a obituary. "Well, perhaps being a coma would do her some good," said Aria, "I bet she's rarely been able to stay still so long." "ARIA...HOW COULD..." began Matt angrily before the wrist computer beeped again "Danger: Unidentified wormhole detected...sector 2-5. Distance: 2 Metres" "Right here? This thing has got to be busted," said Matt, glancing around. "Alert: Biological entity detected." said the wrist computer, a waypoint on its map showing it was in the basement where Matt's portal project was. "Oh, hell no." said Matt, getting up. Nothing was gonna damage his and his sisters ticket home "Sir, I advise armaments," said Aria, "There is a large chance that the creature may be of...an unfriendly nature." Matt already had his plasma magnum out. "If its another damn veridian eel..." he began heading down the stairs and opening the door to see...nothing. "The hell? ARIA...NOW I'M CERTAIN MY WRIST-COMP’S BUSTED!" he yelled, walking into the room. Suddenly, a cream-colored blur sprang out and yelled, "SURPRISE!" … The scream was easily auditable from ponyville. Unfortunately by now, the town had gotten used to Matts screams so paid it no attention. … Quite fortunately, his finger didn't pull the trigger of the plasma magnum. It was too busy with the rest of the hand checking to see if Matt's heart was going to pump again. The pegasus hovered in front of Matt, a familiar grin on its face followed by a familiar cheerful voice saying "Are you ok?" Matt blinked and kept blinking because he was sure his eyes were playing tricks on him. The pegasus looked exactly like Pinkie Pie, only with a cream-colored coat, blonde hair, and purple eyes. The wings also made a difference. Matt managed to say "I'm dreaming...this is a dream...GO AWAY DREAM!" starting to snap. But I just got here," said the pegasus. "Buh...not...real...brain...burble." managed Matt before his brain decided a time out was in order and he passed out. The pony shrugged and said, "Oh well, I've got places to be anyways." She bounced out of the room, her wings flapping half the time for longer bounces. … Matt woke up the next morning. "Urgh...Aria? Did a white pegasus pinkie invade last night?" he said weakly. "You have not had any visitors last night," said Aria. "Oh thank god...have the auto doctor set up a psych-test for me later. The stress is getting to me." said Matt, full of relief Aria sounded surprised, which was a bit of a feat for a computer, "You're questioning your sanity instead of finding a rational explanation?" "Yes." snapped Matt before picking up his cap and putting it on. "Now I'm going into town to check on Pinkie..." he added sulkily. "Sir, would you care for some breakfast?" asked Aria, "I believe your metabolic fuel is starting to run low." "No...smeg off, tin can." said Matt, his eye twitching before he left. … As Matt walked into Ponyville, he noticed a couple of odd things. Someone had been hanging streamers, ribbons, and a couple banners. And there were a few balloons floating around. A small thought began kicking his mind, trying to get his attention but Matt ignored it, starting to get a manic grin. "Nope...I won’t believe that." he said to himself, getting a few worried looks. Just then, Matt passed a table that had a large bowl of pink punch on it with some glasses nearby. The same thought trying to pierce the veil of self-denial tried to point out that even for Ponyville this was unusual but Matt stomped down, deciding he was thirsty, before pouring a glass and taking a sip. Matt glanced down the street and paused. What looked like an elephant was crossing the street. However, it wasn't any larger than any of the ponies and it was the same shade of pink as Pinkie Pie. Matt noticed this and something snapped, as a few minutes later, Twilight and Rarity arrived to see Matt giggling to himself. "Hey Matt, where'd you get that punch?" asked Twilight. "Over here," said Rarity, noticing the punch bowl. "Strange, why would anyone leave punch out here?" asked Twilight. "Well, no sense in standing here with a parched throat," said Rarity before using her horn to fill up a glass with punch and lift it to her mouth. Matt slapped the glass aside "DON’T DRINK IT! I think someone spiked it...I'm seeing the pink elephants...or I've snapped...hehehe!" he said, giggling faintly. "Uh, pink elephants?" asked Twilight. Rarity gave Matt a disgusted look and said, "Why would anyone make punch with Spike in it?" Matt stopped as he spotted another. "THERE...PINK ELEPHANT!" he screamed and pointing. "Pink what?" asked Rarity, but the elephant suddenly disappeared. However, it did leave something behind. "Curious, where did those balloons come from?" asked Rarity. "The elephant left it." said Matt, grinning manically. "Matt, are you feeling ok?" asked Twilight. "I...I think I'm losing the plot. Last night I got a late night visitor of a flying pinkie pie...." said Matt, gibbering a bit. "But Pinkie's still at the nurse's clinic," said Twilight, "I checked her this morning. And someone apparently is planning a party there." "Ok...ok...hold it together, Matt. You've been through worse." said Matt to himself before looking to see another elephant behind Twilight and Rarity and screaming. "What?" asked the two unicorns before turning around. They barely got a glimpse before the elephant disappeared and confetti fell all over them. "Tell me you saw that...TELL ME I'VE NOT SNAPPED LIKE A DRY TWIG!" screamed Matt, one eye now twitching violently. "I saw something pink, but I didn't get a good look," said Twilight. "Me either," said Rarity. "It was the elephant." said Matt conspiratorially. "Something weird is going...and the pegasus is behind it." he said. "Uh, Matt, I think you're stressing a bit too much," said Twilight. "Yes, you shouldn't blame yourself for Pinkie's accident so much," said Rarity, "It'll do horrors to your complexion. I suggest you get a nice cup of tea and..." "SURPRISE!" shouted a voice behind them. The two unicorns jumped and landed in Matt's arms. Matt snapped out of it to see the same pegasus. "YOU!” he said in a low voice before saying "HAH...I WAS RIGHT!" before a new message arrived pointing out that he could barely hold one pony, let alone two, and he fell down under them. Twilight and Rarity quickly got off of Matt. "Are you alright?" asked Rarity. "See? White pegasus...I'M NOT CRAZY!" gibbered Matt, pointing at the hovering pegasus pinkie. Twilight turned to look at the pegasus. She looked so much like Pinkie, she must be a relative. "Who are you?" asked Twilight. "Oh...I'm Surprise. Nice to meet you." said the pegasus, in a hyper voice. "Your name is Surprise?" asked Rarity. "Very appropriate," said Matt. "Oh...you must be Twilight...I've always wanted to meet you properly." said Surprise cheerfully "You know me?" asked Twilight. "Oh, I know all of you, Rarity, Matt," said Surprise, "I didn't think you'd be this jumpy though." "Have you been spying on us?" said Matt suspiciously, glaring eye to eye with the pegasus who was completely uneffected, still grinning like a loon. "No, I just got here," said Surprise. "Then how do you know us?" asked Rarity. "Because Pinkie Pie told me all about you," said Surprise. "Pinkie never said she had any pegasi in the family. How come she’s never mentioned you?" said Twilight thoughtfully. Matt said "And how come I've never seen you around?" Surprise suddenly seemed to be nervous. "Well...uh...you see...it's like... Ooh, pink elephants!" she said before suddenly pointing. "Oh, please. Like I’d fall for....oh yeah." said Matt cockily before falling into gloom as he remembered about the rest of the day so far. Matt and the unicorns turned around to see three pink elephants standing on each other’s shoulders and hanging up banners. "Ok...this is too wierd. Surprise, what do you...where'd she go?" said Matt, turning around to see a lack of the pegasus pinkie. "You're right Matt, this is too weird," said Twilight, "Where are all these elephants coming from?" "And why are they decorating the town?" asked Rarity, "I would have heard something if there was a festival being planned." "I have a feeling our little white friend knows." said Matt, darkly. "Ok, she's a pegasus, which probably means she's from Cloudsdayle," said Twilight, "So maybe Fluttershy or Rainbow Dash would know her. Matt, can you check at Sweet Apple Acres if they've been seeing any pink elephants there?" "Gotcha. I'll head straight down there." said Matt, nodding before looking at the elephants "This has to be the weirdest invasion in history." he muttered. "You should have seen the parasprite swarm," said Rarity. ... Matt arrived at Sweet Apple Acres to see that there was already evidence that the 'new arrivals' had paid a visit, the same party gear all over the place. "Ok, when this is over, I'm swearing off alcohol," said Matt before thinking about it and adding, "For the week." He looked around and spotted Applejack looking at the streamers in confusion. "Hey...I see the elephants got you too...that just sounds wierd." he called "Tell me about it," said Applejack, "I'm startin' to think I'm goin' plum crazy." "Join the club...you know why I screamed last night then." said Matt, before saying "I would ask if you’ve sene any pink elephants here but I'm guessing the answer is yes." "They've been poppin' up everywhere and leavin' all this party stuff lyin' around," said Applejack, "How's a pony supposed to work with all these streamers and trappins everywhere?" "Thats not all...Does pinkie have any pegasi in the family?" said Matt. "Pegasi in the Pie family?" asked Applejack, "Well, my family's all earth ponies, but Pinkie might have some. But I don't think it's very likely. Can't imagine anyone with wings pushin' rocks around for a livin'." "Wierd...this new pegasi knew all about twilight, Rarity...even me." said Matt thoughtfully "Not that I don't mind family members droppin' by, but I gotta get rid of these here pink elephants," said Applejack, "They're leavin' a big mess." Matt looked around "Hey...where's your sister?" he commented "Oh, she and her friends went chasing after them elephants," said Applejack, "Somethin' about gettin' 'elephant hunter cutie marks'. Frankly, I don't mind if it keeps them elephants away." "At least they're safe. Look, if you see a whte pegasus, try and get her to stay in one place. This didn;t start till she popped up." said Matt. "When was that?" asked Applejack. "Last night...she surprised me in the cellar." said Matt, leaving out that she’d caused him to faint. "How'd she get down there?" asked Applejack, "I thought we were the only ones who knew that place." "Thats why I wanna talk to her. She nowd alot she shouldn't." said Matt. Just then, the Cutie Mark Crusaders ran up to Matt and Applejack. They were talking excitedly and loudly about different things that it was impossible to tell what they were talking about. "ONE AT A TIME!" yelled Matt, his fragile nerves threatening to crack again. "There's gonna be a parade!" shouted the Cutie Mark Crusaders at the same time. "Y'what?" said Matt, confused. Applejack said "A parade? Who told ya?" "The pink elephants," said Sweetie Belle. "They're gonna show up in the middle of town," said Apple Bloom. "They're gonna have a big marching band and everything!" said Scootaloo. "They can talk now?" said Matt, dully before saying "No, of course they do...I’ve given up expecting sanity on this smegging planet." "When's this parade happenin'?" asked Applejack. "In 30 minutes," said Sweetie Belle. "Can we go, Applejack? Please?" said Apple Bloom, "It's been a long time since I saw a parade." "Maybe our little flying spy'll be there? It’s as good a chance as any." said matt to Applejack, adding "I can keep an eye on the girls...whenever I’m near them, all the injuries happen to me." "Ok, but we better tell the others," said Applejack, "I think they'll need to know about this." "If it’s happening in town...they'll find out." said Matt. ... Matt, Applejack, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders quickly went to Sugarcube Corner. Twilight and Rarity were waiting for them with Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. "Glad you made it," said Matt, "You guys find out anything about Surprise?" "Well, not really," said Twilight. "I've never heard of her before," said Rainbow Dash. "Me either," said Fluttershy, "And I haven't seen any pink elephants either." "Oh yeah? Maybe the madness is contagious?" gibbered Matt before a cloud of pink fog was spotted coming up the street before a deafening fanfare came from it. As Matt and the ponies watched, columns of pink elephants marched out of the pink fog. Several of them were carrying percussion instruments on their backs which they beat with their trunks. Others, with unusually long trunks, had twisted them like horns and playing them as such. Fluttershy yelped and hid behind the others. She peeked out nervously and asked, "What do I do? What do I do?" "Ok…that’s new.” commented Rainbow Dash. "Ok...when did we end up inside Pinkies head?" said Matt after a minute. "Wait a minute," said Twilight, "This is like Pinkie. Matt, when did you first meet Surprise?" "Last night...after I got back home." said matt, remembering the incident very well. "As in after Pinkie got zapped," said Twilight. "You mean...I gave her reality bending powers? Oh, god...what has science done?" said Matt, his eyes getting the look of someone snapping...again. "But Pinkie Pie is still in a coma," said Rarity, "She couldn't be doing all of this. Could she?" "I think I should take another scan." said Matt, in a distant voice. "Well, those elephants do look like her," said Apple Bloom. Indeed, not only were the elephants the same color as Pinkie's coat, but the tuft of hair at the end of their tails was the same color as her mane and they had the same big blue eyes as her. "Yeah, I’m taking another scan." said Matt after a minute. ... Matt looked at the readout. "Same as last time...alot of reality energy...mind scans a little wierd though." he commented to Twilight, looking at the results. The others were talking to Redheart in case the sight of Matt using the scanner caused comment. "Well, I have found Pinkie to be...puzzling," said Twilight, "Say, do you think she's dreaming?" "No...if I'm reading these scans right....its like somethings missing..." said Matt before the wrist comp said "Danger: Incoming wormhole." "Uh oh...here we go again." said Matt, worried. "Well, I don't think it's going to be Darius this time either," said Twilight. "Locating target...Alert...proximity to epicenter." said the wrist computer as a glow began in the corner of the room. "Er, we probably ought to step back," said Matt. The glow was blinding for a second before it formed a shape and seemed to implode, forming a familier pony...except for the grey colours and look of permenent annoyance. "...Pinkie?" said Matt, confused, transferring his look between the Pinkie in the clinic bed and the new one. "Uh, ok, I didn't expect anything like this," said Twilight. "What're YOU two looking at?" said the new pinkie angrily. Matt smiled nervously before saying to Twilight out of the corner of his mouth. "You know this one?" "Uh, she looks like when Discord turned Pinkie into a grouch," said Twilight. "Oookay...I'm guessing I never wanna meet this 'Discord'...Ok...first off...containment. OK...What’s your name?" he said, saying the last part to Grumpy Pie in a cheerful voice. "None of your business!" snapped the new Pinkie. Matt paused and said, "That's a bit of a mouthful, and you don't seem like Noyb." Grumpy Pinkies glare seemed to double at Matts joke attempt and he tried a different approach. "I'm not sure you should go anywhere...not till we know if erm...other....you is ok....man, that sounded better in my head." "Uh, would you mind if I studied you for a minute so I know how you got here?" asked Twilight. Grumpy Pinkie turned to look at Twilight "I hate being studied." she said annoyed before Matt said "Do you hate being stunned? My patience and sanity is at an all time low...DON'T PUSH ME!!!" "Impatient? You wanna see impatient?" snapped Grumpy Pinkie before turning around and standing on her front legs. "Oh...don’t you d-" began matt before being kicked in the chest hard enough to hit the back wall. Twilight winced before saying, "Uh, don't you think that was a bit rough?" "You want some too, princess?" snapped Grumpy Pie. Twilight backed up before Grumpy Pinkies mane stood out with a buzzing noise before she fell sideways, rigid like a statue, revealing a equally annoyed looking Matt holding a crackling stick. "I warned her." he said, annoyed. "Is she ok?" asked Twilight. "Oh sure," said Matt, "That wasn't even near a large enough voltage to do permanent damage." Before he poked the new pinkie and said "Ok...what the smegging hell is going on here?" "I'm not quite sure..." started Twilight before a soft moan caught their ears. They turned around to see Pinkie (the one on the bed) starting to stir. Matt and Twilight crowded around Pinkie. "Pinkie...thank god...any that can hear at this moment." said Matt, cheerfully. Twilight said just as happily "Pinkie...are you ok?" Pinkie's eyes fluttered open and looked around. Then she noticed Matt and said, "Ah, Matthew, I'm so sorry for that dreadful incident within the ship. I should have taken more precautions regarding that energy discharge." Matt stared at Pinkie, the eye twitch from earlier coming back as small but significant parts of his brain rebelled while Twilight said, cautiously "Pinkie? Are you sure you’re feeling ok?" "Well, I feel a little dilapidated, but I'm sure it's nothing some fresh tea won't cure," said Pinkie, "Now, would you mind telling how I came to be relocated within this domicile?" "Erm...I brought you here?" said Matt, his voice shaking with strained nerves before looking at Twilight. "A word if you please." before dragging her away. "Ok...now something is definately up." he hissed. "I know, I know," said Twilight, "Pinkie sounds more like Rarity than her usual self." "Plus I doubt I could get her angry if I set fire to her house..." added Matt. "Angry..." muttered Twilight before glancing at the twitching Grumpy Pinkie on the floor, "Matt, do you think Pinkie's capable of surprising you now?" "I had no doubt in the first place...its like her personality is taking a holiday from the rest of...her...no....way..." said Matt, stopping as what he was saying caught up with him. "First Surprise, then the pink elephants, now Grumpy," said Twilight, "Matt, I think that reality energy is having a greater effect on Pinkie than you thought." "And probably why the scan seems like some parts of her mind are missing...cause they are." said Matt, darkly. "Right, so we need to put them back in before more get out," said Twilight. "Good....how do we do...oh no." said Matt, noticing that angry pinkie seemed suddenly abscent. "Pinkie...where did...monochrome you go?" he said. "I am not certain," said Pinkie, "I do not see any probably means of egress from this room besides the door and she could not have passed through without your notice. However, I'm not sorry to see her missing. She has such a dreadful temper." "Oh great...they can pull the same tricks original recipe can." said Matt, gloomily. "Well, they shouldn't be too hard to find," said Twilight, "I mean, they ought to stand out like a pink…" "Elephant?" suggested Matt. Twilight sighed "We've got to find them. Can;t you use anything to help?" Matt shook his head "Aria didn’t detect surprise when she popped up in my house...I don’t think these things show up on scanners." he said. "Well, maybe locating spells will work better," said Twilight. "Worth a try..." said Matt hopefully. ... The others were just as confused by Pinkies depleted personality as Matt and Twilight had been. "Ya'll mean that all these elephants here are parts of Pinkie's mind?" asked Applejack. "Believe me...I'm having just as much trouble getting my head round this too." said Matt, gloomily before adding "Plus there is a black and white one running around with a temper just as dark." "Oh my, that's not good at all," said Fluttershy. "And worse than that, it seems to be draining the real Pinkie of what makes her...Pinkie," said Twilight. Rarity said horrified "Thats horrible...whatever can we do about it?" Matt said under his breath to himself "I could shoot the angry one." "I think we need to corral all these loose bits and herd 'em on back to where they came from," said Applejack. "But how do we get them back inside Pinkie?" said Rainbow Dash. Matt shrugged and said "Well there is a trick with a teleporter pod and a fly.......but I don’t think that will work too well." "There has to be something," said Rainbow Dash, "We can't just let them parade all over town. Look at the mess they're leaving." "They haven't been at my house," said Fluttershy, "I wonder why that is?" "Pinkie would never prank you." said Rainbow Dash. Matt twitched "So she'd happily give me a heart attack on a regular basis...but...but..." he said. "Maybe," said Twilight, "But there may be another reason. Let's go to Fluttershy's house. It'll at least give us enough peace to think." "Why not? As long as its quiet...I feel like there's a fighter battle in my skull." said Matt, weakly. ... When the gang got to Fluttershy's house, it was rather quiet. Well, there was still the chatter of animals, but it was quiet compared to the constant fanfare in town. "Quiet...wonderful quiet." muttered Matt happily. "If you don't mind, I need to check on a few of my patients," said Fluttershy. The others nodded and Fluttershy wandered off to check the animals. "Ok, girls...and Matt, we need to think of a way to get the pink elephants and Pinkie's...extra selves to cooperate," said Twilight. "What are we gonna do, scare them into submission?" said Matt, annoyed. "That could work," said Rainbow Dash, "I'll get a bunch of thunderclouds and shoot lightning at them." Applejack said "That ain;t gonna work. Pinkie ain't scare'a nothin. Remember when Nightmare moon made all of those scary trees?" "Right, she just laughed at them all," said Rainbow Dash, "I thought I was onto something." "Pinkie's mind wasn;t in a collection of pieces at the time." said Matt. Suddenly, there was a piercing scream. The others jumped up to see Rarity standing on top of a rock and shrieking. "Keep it away from me!" she cried, "Keep it away!" Matt drew his blaster and looked around "What is it?" he yelled, panning the blaster around "A RAT!" screamed Rarity. The others look where she was pointing to see the 'dangerous' rodent in question. "Uh, Rarity, that's just a field mouse," said Applejack. "Oh," said Rarity, "Well, it was a large one, and who knows where it's been." Matt stopped before saying to himself "I'm in a world where the orbital bodies are controlled by flying unicorns...it probably will work." before saying out loud "Hey guys. I got an idea..." ... The pink elephants were keeping their party going. It was apparent that they do not tire, seeing how it's been going on for 12 hours now. The ponies had enjoyed the spectacle, but then it got very tiresome and obnoxious. "When is it going to end?" moaned Bonbon, trying to hide her head under a pillow. Lyra, looking just as tired peered out a window and took a double-take. "Erm...whats the human doing?" she said, confused, spotting Matt peering out from behind a water barrel and running across the street behind the elephants in what was supposed to be stealthy, except that even the elephants stopped to watch. "If it keeps the noise down, I don't care," said Bonbon. The ponies walked out from the alley calmly and followed to where Matt was peering out. "Erm...y'all know everyponies watchin, right?" said Applejack. Matt shrugged and said, "If it'll help my PR, I don't mind." Fluttershy said nervously "Are you sure they'll be ok?" two mice peering out from her mane. "Relax, I saw this in a cartoon once," said Matt. "What's a cartoon?" asked Twilight. Matt carefully picked up the mice and, despite everything said "You know what to do, lads..." before letting them go in sight of the two elephants in the street. The mice went up to the elephants and squeaked. The pink elephants reared up, trumpeted in fear, and then exploded into a cloud of confetti and streamers. Pinkie blinked before saying, "You know, I feel a little...happier all of a sudden." "Thats good...I guess." said Matt, cheerfully. "Now then...how many of those damn elephants are there?" Just then, a parade of elephants went down a parallel street to them. "We're gonna need more mice," said Rainbow Dash. ... The last of the elephants exploded and flowed into Pinkie. "Finally." said Matt with clear relief as Fluttershy gathered up the mice "Well, that should take care of that," said Twilight. "I'm not sure," said Rarity, "Something still seems off about Pinkie." The group turned to look at Pinkie who seemed a little happier, though far from her usual bubbly self. There was also something else different. "Hey...her balloon tattoo is all faded." said Matt, pointing to Pinkies cutie mark. "Oh, that's not good," said Twilight, "A cutie mark is a symbol of a pony's special talent. If Pinkie is losing it, she must be losing that talent." "That does sound bad. Wait...we haven’t finished...there’s still two bits of Pinkies brain running amok." said Matt. "Yeah, but we can't just spook them with mice," said Rainbow Dash. "Yeah...I dread to think little miss grouchy will do if we try that...plus surprise will probably hug them." said Matt, gloomily. "If we can only figure out how they're getting out," said Twilight, "We could push them back through." "Hmm...Surprise appeared in my basement...my jump gate." said Matt before running in the direction of his house. "Aria...is the project active in any way?" he said into his comm. "The warp engine is currently stuck in standby mode," said Aria. "Crud..." muttered Matt, darkly. ... The group looked at the glowing warp engine, more precisely, at a patch of air on the very stairwell that had zapped pinkie that seemed to have a heat haze around it. "Uh, what exactly is that?" asked Twilight. "I don't know," said Matt, "Like I said, reality energy's a big enigma. Still, I wouldn't recommend walking right through it." Matt, to test the theory, picked up a tool from a cabinet and slowly poked it into the rippling air, only for the tool section that entered to become covered in rust...and then fall off before disintigrating into dust. Matt looked at the stump in horror. "Oooookay...definately not healthy." said Matt, somehow keeping his voice steady. "So, you got a backdoor we could use?" asked Applejack. Matt looked at the far wall where the manual shutdown was. "Hmm...the only other corridors still wrecked from the veridian eels...but its better then nothing." he said. "I don't see what the big problem is," said Pinkie before walking towards the stairs. "PINKIE, NO!" shouted everyone. But Pinkie passed through the shimmering air on down the steps. Surprisingly, nothing at all happened to her. Matt just stared, his jaw hanging open before saying "This...I......just press that button already." his voice becoming dull. "Very well," said Pinkie, "Which button would that be?" "The one marked 'emergency shutdown'." said Matt. Pinkie shrugged and pushed the shutoff button with her head, causing the warp engine to power down...and as a result all the lights to go out. Matt’s voice from the darkness said "I shoulda stayed in bed." Just then, the lights came on and Surprise was in the middle of the group. "SURPRISE!" she shouted. Matt was probably the most interesting reaction, screaming, jumping back and as a result falling down the stairway. Surprise landed to watch the unfortunate mercs progress down the stairs. "Ow...you don’t think he’s angry, do you?" she said, cheerfully before a laser blast parted her mane. "Uh, hun, I'd keep your distance," said Applejack. A stream of alien and fortunately untranslatable words streamed down as Matt stomped back up, holding the smoking blaster. "Patience...gone...must...kill...something." he said, looking furious. He grabbed Surprise by the neck and shoved the blaster up to her nose. However, she kept grinning as he had shoved a bouquet into her face. After a few seconds, he pushed away and said, "I can't kill someone grinning like that. It takes all the fun out of vengeance. I need someone who knows how to react right." "Oh...what about her?" said Surprise, cheerfully, pointing to where Grumpy was. Matt spun. "YOU...!" he said annoyed. Twilight said nervously "Matt, er...I think you should calm down a bit." Matt turned to her and said, "I think I'm due some anger relief, don't you?" "Er, speaking of anger relief," said Fluttershy. "What?" asked Matt before turning and noticing Grumpy was standing in front of him, rear legs raised to strike. "Not again," he whimpered. The girls whimpered as Grumpy delivered a rather eye watering hit that caused Matt to double over, squeak "God, I hate you." and keel over back down the stairs. Grumpy turned to see the others "What are you looking at?" she said angrily before seeing the original. "Oh...you." Pinkie looked at Grumpy and said, "Was I really that antisocial under Discord's influence? I'm not surprised that you found me hard to put up with." Surprise looked at Grumpy in shock for the first time. "That wasn’t very nice." she said, a weak voice from the bottom of the stairs saying "I agree." "Who cares about nice?" snapped Grumpy "Ponies only try to butter you up so they can laugh at you later." Twilight took a step forward, saying "You can’t keep running around like this...you're a part of Pinkie Pie." "What? You want me to be locked back up inside Ms. Bubbly Sunshine?" said Grumpy, "No way, just thinking about it makes me sick." "But you're hurting Pinkie...look at her cutie mark." said Fluttershy, sounding horrified at Grumpy's attitude. "Ah, she still has one balloon left," said Grumpy, "Besides, she can find a new cutie mark." Surprise said "Twilights right though...getting out and about is fun but we've got to go back." "You can't make me," snapped Grumpy. "I...can." said Matt, limping up the stairs. "You have a choice...back in Pinkie...or I shoot you...alot." he said, his voice shaking with anger and rightly so, given the events of the last few minutes. "Matt, let's not do anything rash," said Twilight, "We can talk our way through this." "Oh no, no more fiddling around the bush," said Matt, "You're going back, all three of you fragments." "Erm...dear? Did you hit your head on the way down?" said Rarity, sounding worried. Matt pointed behind them. "Number three." he said. The group turned and saw another Pinkie. This one didn't look very different from the original, except her colors were a shade darker, her main and tail were all straight and droopy, and she had several lines under her glaring eyes. Matt didn’t like the look of those eyes. He usually saw them on assignment with colony security on the faces of particularly twitchy criminals...oh, and recently in the mirror in the mornings. "Huh, that kinda looks like Pinkie before I dragged her to her surprise birthday party," said Rainbow Dash. "She looks nuts." muttered Matt, grabbing Grumpy's tail as she tried to slink away. "Don’t even think about it." he said when he spotted her glare. "Uh, ok, I think we have all the Pinkies in one place," said Twilight, "Let's work on putting them back together." "Ok...any ideas?" said Matt, casually. "Maybe if we push them all down the stairs at the same time, they'll go back together," said Applejack. Matt got a crazy grin. "Great idea...GRUMPY PIE GOES FIRST!" he said, happily "Uh, I think we need to think this out more thoroughly," said Twilight. "Ok...YOU are going in the brig...come on." said Matt, pulling grumpy in the direction of the Skyraids single cell. "I'm not moving," said Grumpy before sitting down. Matt aimed his blaster. "Conscious or unconscious...you're coming with me." he said darkly. "Uh, Grumpy, I'd do what he says," said Fluttershy. Matt nodded "Listen to Fluttershy...she's talking sense." he said. "I'm not listening," said Grumpy, putting her hooves over her ears. "You don;t have to listen...you just need to move." said Matt, cheerfully, before dragging Grumpy Pie away. ... Matt sat, staring at the newest addition to what he was thinking of as the 'pie collection'. "So...I'm guessing you're Pinkies gloominess." he said in a half attempt at conversation and the other half to stop her stare. Twilight and the others had gone to the library with Surprise to see if there as was anything in the books about a cure. The new Pinkie didn't say anything. She just kept glaring forward. "I'll take that as a yes." said Matt, desperately. "So...this must be interesting for you...actually being out and about...please say something, you're creeping me out." The only thing the new Pinkie did was fix her glare on Matt. "Oookay, that increases the creepiness. Do you actually have a name?" said Matt, nervously. This time, he did get a response. "Pinkamena," she muttered. "Erm...nice name." said Matt, the nervousness still evident. Pinkamena didn't say anything, just continued glaring. "Hey...Twilights working on a way to pull you guys back together...soon you won’t be so lonely...nice eh?" said Matt, grinning manically, adding mentally 'Please let it be soon' Suddenly, before Matt could even see it coming, Pinkamena had him pressed against a wall and holding a knife to his throat. "I'm not going back," she hissed. "How the hell are you holding that?" said Matt, sheer insanity making him ask it while his common sense added 'WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ASKING? NUT HER!' "I'm not going to be locked up again," said Pinkamena, "I'm my own pony now and I'll do what I want. And nothing's gonna stop me." "And what is it you want to do? I'm your friend...friends should have their heads attached." said Matt, desperately, while pressing the silent alarm on his wrist comp. "Oh, your head'll stay on. I'm just gonna cut you. I'll cut you bad," hissed Pinkamena. "Really? You do that, I’m certain Aria will be pretty annoyed." said Matt, his eye tracking two spiderdrones slowly but silently edging out an open vent. "I'll just cut her too," said Pinkamena, "or smash her eyes." "She doesn't have eyes and the security cams are smash proof." said Matt, conversationally. "Oh really?" sneered Pinkamena. "They are, believe me, I've tried," said Matt. Pinkamena glared as Matt continued "But if you wanna try, there's two right there." nodding up. Pinkamena looked up in time for the two drones to drop on her. Matt quickly stepped out of the way and out of stabbing range. Pinkamena didn't take too well to being attacked. She reared, bucked, and kicked out to get rid of the spiderdrones, shouting things that Matt was shocked that Pinkie Pie would know. "Just knock her out already." yelled Matt finally, one of the drones complying by electrifying its outer shell Pinkamena twitched before falling over, her legs twitching a little. "Ok, now chain her, don't allow any of her legs free," said Matt, "I don't care if she's the Houdini of ponies, I won't feel safe unless she's bound." "Very well, sir. I will get several heavy duty cables from storage." said Aria over the intercom. Matt looked at Pinkamena. "Man, she's nuts." he commented. "Obviously a manifestation of Ms. Pie's darker side," said Aria, "Though I did not imagine she was capable of such violent and psychotic behavior." "It’s always the ones you least suspect." said Matt as the drones dragged the semi-conscious pinkamena away. ... Twilight and the others were surprised to return to find Matt toting one of the heavy plasma cannons he’d salvaged off the Exo-gene team. "Uh, what's with the heavy artilery?" asked Rainbow Dash. "Pinkamena is not a nice pony...and she has a knife." said Matt, adding "Oh...and I get the feeling she’s not gonna cooperate." "Where'd she get a knife?" asked Applejack. "Hell if I know...I wanna know how she held it." said Matt. "I've had the drones chain her up and lock her in the vault." he added, before saying "With airholes." "Uh, Pinkie Pie's been known to appear in inexplicable places," said Twilight. "Has she been known to 'threaten to cut people up good'?" said Matt, quoting from Pinkamena's threat. "Not that I know of," said Rainbow Dash, "But when she thought we were going to abandon her, she replaced us with some inanimate objects." "Ok..I think it’s safe to say that pinkamena represents the little voice that tells us to burn things....what? I thought everyone had one of those." Matt said, adding the last part as the ponies backed up a bit from him. "Uh...Twilight, darling, have you determined a method of reuniting the four Pinkies?" asked Rarity. Twilight shook her head "There's nothing in any of the library books because...I think this is a first. I can ask the princess to send some of the more advanced books but I don’t think we'll find anything." she said, sounding tired. "Did you actually sleep last night?" said Matt. "Well, I was reading up on everything I could find on comas," said Twilight. "I had Aria doing some of her own work. in the history of the NSC there has been three exposures to reality radiation." said Matt. "And what happened?" asked Fluttershy. "They died...via complete genetic breakdown as their bodies reality fields couldn’t decide what they were and tried to compromise by making them everything." said Matt. He noticed their stares "Probably not the result you wanted." he said. "And you definitely don't want to see the pictures related," said Aria. Matt said jokingly "Shame we can’t just toss em all in the jump gate at the same time." "Actually, sir, that isn't a bad idea," said Aria. "Pardon?" said Matt, his train of thought not just derailing but flying into a canyon. "I believe you recall Brundle's Law of Teleportation," said Aria. "Ah, yes, the Fly Syndrome," said Matt before pausing and saying, "Aria, do you realize what you're suggestiong?" "Yes sir...but I recently detected genetic breakdown in Miss pies DNA...It is restabilizing...if we don;t do something soon, there will be a point of no return." said Aria, calmly. "Guys, what are you talking about?" asked Rainbow Dash. "Brundle's Law of Teleportation states that unless maintained carefully, if two or more forms were teleported at the same time, they will be fused together," said Aria. "And this fusion is often not of a pretty nature," said Matt, "Particularly if the forms are of different species, hence the synonym 'Fly Syndrome'." Matt translated "Horrifying pony eating offspring of science run amok." he said promptly. Aria said "Indeed...however, it should be simple enough to reprogram Mr Lynches basement jumpgate to perform a safe re-fusion...the trio are after all...simply solidified reality energy." said Aria before an alarm rang. "Security breach: Storage vault." said Aria, adding "Oh....crap." "I was afraid she wouldn't be held for long," said Matt. "I am attempting to track....oh dear. Her course will bring her to the camp...and the portal...I'll give her this...she’s very clever." said Aria. "What does that mean?" asked Fluttershy. "I believe she is going to derail our plan by either destroying the portal or using it to leave this dimension. However both results will be a beacon to the Icarus, resulting in certain attack." said Aria. "Then what are we diddlyin' around here for," said Applejack, "We've got a wild mare to round up." "We'd better bring the other two as well." said Matt. ... The group emerged from the forest facing the hill the barn that Matt had converted sat. "Seems easy enough." said Matt before Aria said "Sir...I have lost network control from the house." Matt sighed and said, "I should know better than to say such things. Murphy's Law, MURPHY'S SMEGGING LAW!" Twilight was about to ask what was going on when a whirring noise came from several patches near the barn and two metallic barrels appeared. "Aria? You are never redecorating again." said Matt as the two ion blasters turned to aim. "Uh, is this the part where we run?" asked Fluttershy. One of the barrels said ina metallic drone "Intruders detected: Lethal force authorized!" and the barrels started to hum. "Yes it is." said Matt, promptly. The group quickly scattered before the barrels started blasting red beams at them. "Really starting to hate Pinkamena...no offence, Pinkie." said Matt, he and Pinkie diving behind a small rise to avoid a turret that had decided they were a priority target. "None taken, my other side seems to be rather intolerable, doesn't she?" asked Pinkie. "She's clever though...hacking a mainframe like Aria's is quite a feat....talking of which...ARIA...TURN THOSE DAMN LASERS OFF RIGHT NOW!" said Matt, yelling the last part into his comm. "I am trying, but she seems to have set up a firewall," said Aria. "Then BREAK IT!" yelled Matt, angrily, pulling out his blaster and firing a few shots only for a orange energy field to block them. "Shielded turrets? Really?" Matt said. "It wasn't meant to be used against you," said Aria. "Oh...that’s it...you have a date with a fire axe." said Matt, furiously before a blast knocked him into Pinkie, sprawling her into the sights of another turret. It turned to aim before intoning "DNA clearence reqognized." "DNA?" asked Matt before glancing at Pinkie. "Of course," he said, "I doubt your double would have wanted it to fire at herself." "That means only three of you can get inside." said Aria, adding "And one of you won't want too." Matt glared "We'll see about that...HEY, GRUMPY PIE...PINKAMENA'S LAUGHING AT YOU!!" Grumpy glared and yelled, "I'll show that jerk!" before galloping towards the barn. Rainbow However seemed to have lost patience, taking off. The turrets tried to track but couldn’t look far enough up. "Miss Dash...land at once." said Aria's voice apparently from the house, her adding “I have regained control of the intercom." "Those peashooters can't hit me from up here," said Rainbow Dash boastfully. "Yes...I took aerial fighter attack into concideration and added..." began Aria before a section of roof withdrew and a double barreled weapon folded out "...a AA plasma cannon." 'Alert...hostile aerial intrusion confirmed.' said the same turret voice from earlier. "Oh, that might be a problem," said Rainbow Dash. The pegasi was forced to dive back down as the plasma cannon began firing a stream of plasma blasts at her, landed where Matt was speaking to surprise "...and if Aria is right...the power shut off is next to the front door." he was saying "Matt, I don't think I can get in," said Rainbow Dash. "Then lets send a flyng pie to do it..." said Matt, firing a few futile shots at a turret. Rainbow gave him an odd look and said, "How can you think of pie fights at a time like this?" Matt pointed at Surprise. "I wasn’t." he said. Rainbow gave Surprise a doubtful look and said, "Why would she do any better than me?" "The turrets won’t turn her into dust." said Matt promptly, a cloud of dust billowing up as one of the turrets reacted to the noise. "But I'm a better flyer," said Rainbow Dash, "There's no way she could move around all those blasts." "I am almost certain the turrets won’t even bother to fire at her." said Matt, confidently Rainbow gave Matt an odd look before saying, "Fine, I guess I'll have to pull her out of the line of fire then." Surprise carefully peered up out of the cover, only for the dot of a turret laser sight to appear on her before the owner of the sight said "DNA Clearence verified." and nothing happened. Matt just smirked, saying "See? The mad mercenary knows things." Rainbow Dash pouted and grumbled, "So not fair.” "Now...if I was the one setting these traps, I would have booby trapped the shut down." said Matt, more to himself before a lowering hum was heard and the turrets lowered their aims, the lights going out. "Then again, Pinkie's not me." he added. "Let's not take chances," said Rainbow Dash, "Let's get in there quick before Pinkamena does something else." The rest nodded in agreement and headed for the house to see a extremely pleased looking Surprise hovering near the smashed control panel that contained the shut down. "You...you only had to push the red button." said Matt, horrified. Surprise shrugged and said, "I shut it down anyways." The others turned as a smashing noise came from the basement followed by a noise Matt knew, the once heard, never forgotten liquid noise of a dimensional portal establishing. "I think we'd best hurry." he said, charging down the stairs. Grumpy left quite a trail of wrecked stuff in her wake, to Matt's growing consternation and professional dismay. He turned the corner into the basement to see the swirling vortex of a unstable jump gate in the middle of the room. Pinkamena and Grumpy were glaring at each other, clearly taking a quick pause. "Alright, nobody move!" snapped Matt. Fluttershy, who was floating behind him, stopped flapping her wings and fell down with an 'oof'. Matt sighed and said, "I was talking to the extra Pinkies." Matt continued, saying "You really don’t wanna go in that..." gesturing to the energy vortex. "Yes, you would most like come out puree on the other side," said Aria. A voice from the portal generator said "75% alignment complete...attempting to find suitable class A." "Er, anyways, I don't think there are many places you'll be likely to fit in," said Matt. "Why, is it because I'm considered dangerous?" snapped Pinkamena. "You held a knife to my throat...most colony militias react with bullets to that behaivour." he said, adding mentally 'And you're a talking pink horse...thats wierd even by NSC standards.' "Pinkamena, you belong here," said Twilight, "We wouldn't be complete without you." "More specifically, she wouldn't be complete without you," said Rarity, pointing at Pinkie, who was starting to look more listless. The portal device intoned "Portal stabilization at 90%. Suitable target found: Paradiso V targetted..." Pinkamena smirked and said, "I guess that's my ride. I'll be leaving now." "You're not going anywhere!" said Rainbow Dash before charging forward. Pinkamena turned angrily as Rainbow Dash charged, side stepping and slashing out. Rainbow Dash gave a cry of pain and skidded to a stop. Fortunately, Pinkamena had only got her left front knee, but there was a steady trickle coming from it. Pinkamena turned to finish the job before Matt lost patience and shot the knife into the portal, a glob of molten metal hitting the wall behind. He switched to stun to end the problem when the three remaining pinkies charged forward, tackling their dark doppelganger. "We should do something," said Fluttershy. "It's too dangerous," said Matt, "We might hurt our Pinkie and the rift's gravity could pull you in." "But Rainbow Dash is hurt," said Applejack. "Aria...get some drones down here...NOW!" said Matt into his comm. Aria however replied "I cannot do that...the ones on the ship are all trying to re-engage the core and the ones at your location lost power when the defence grid did." Suddenly, the portal seemed to...jiggle. The vortex shimmered before brightening to a bright pink. The group backed up, Matt saying "Aria...whats wrong with my jump gate?" Aria didn’t answer for a bit until the jumpgate computer answered for her. "Alert...exterior re-alignment detected." "What? But that's impossible," said Matt before suddenly the sound of trumpeting came from the portal. "Er, speaking of impossibilities," said Twilight. Suddenly, a small herd of pink elephants charged out of the portal. They immediately went to where the Pinkies were fighting and separated them. They wrapped their trunks around Pinkamena's legs to keep her from moving. "THATS IT...MY BRAIN CAN;T TAKE ANYMORE!" screamed Matt, grabbing both sides of his head. One of the elephants wandered over to Rainbow Dash. It looked at the cut on her leg before putting the tip of its trunk on it. Rainbow Dash winced and there was a little flash of pink light. When the elephant lifted its trunk, the cut was completely gone. "I can;t handle this anymore...I'm gonna go find a bottle of Kr'ta and try to dissolve my liver...call me when this is over and sanity reigns again." said Matt, gloomily. "Hold it together a little longer," said Twilight, "We still need to put the Pinkies back together." Matt sighed "Well...they're all together finally...lets just try the teleporter idea...before I need to get a straightjacket." he said, walking over to the portal, avoiding the furious Pinkamena and opening a side panel and removing a single crystal. "Warning...DNA filter deactivated." said the system. "Are you sure this will work?" asked Rainbow Dash as she got back up. "Either it'll work or you'll end up with a four-headed Pinkie," said Matt. "Sir... have regained control of systems...according to scans...to quote a saying 'Its now or never'." said Aria. "Right then," said Matt, "Toss those Pinkie’s through the void." Pinkamena practically shrieked "I'M NOT GOING BACK...YOU CAN'T MAKE ME." before Matt paused, turned and gave her a kick that Applejack would have been proud of, sending her flying into the portal. The other three were a lot more cooperative, Grumpy mainly because she 'will walk through the portal because she wants to, not for anyone else'. The real Pinkie was last, actually seeming a bit hesitant. "I can;t hold this for long...the system'll fry." said Matt, from a readout station. "I...I'm not sure I want to rejoin with those...degenerates," said Pinkie Pie. "But they're a part of you," said Twilight. "They were a part of me," said Pinkie, "But now I can be somepony different." Rarity said calmly "Pinkie dear. Flaws are a part of what makes us who we are...just look at Mr. Lynch." earing a 'OI!' from matts direction. She continued on to add "Seperating yourself from them won’t make you a better pony but accepting them will." Pinkie hesitated for a few more moments before saying, "Ok, I'll do it." Matt said "Oh that good...as long as we're all agreed...can we do this before something horrible happens?" Pinkie took a deep breath before charging forward and leaping into the vortex. The group covered their eyes as the portal blinded them, several alerts starting. "Danger...T.F.S situation confirmed...unable to engage emergency shutdown...cutting power." said the computer. "You sure this will work?" called Twilight. "I have no idea!" replied Matt. All of the sudden, the portal cut off, some overrides unable to be bypassed. It had however caused alot of smoke as it shut down. Matt and the ponies coughed as the room filled with smoke. Even the elephants were choking a bit, though not as much as the others. "Oh great, it's probably fried the engine," said Matt between coughs. Matt tried to wave some smoke away, spotting the elephants and sighing. If some of Pinkies pet hallucinations were still on the loose then the plan had failed. "Pinkie?" he called. As the smoke faded, Pinkie hopped out, back to her normal cheery self. "Ooh, that was fun," said Pinkie, "Can we do it again?" The others all crouded round her asking her if she ws alright. However, Matt was staring at the elephants. "Erm...girls?" he said, trying to point them out. "I'm glad you're back to normal, Pinkie," said Twilight, "But how comes your elephants are still here." "Yeah, shouldn't they be going back inside you?" asked Rainbow Dash. "Oh, they're not my elephants," said Pinkie, "They're my friends from the forth-dimensional planet of Partiagogo." Matt just stared before yelling "THAT IS IT...ANYTHING NOT FROM THIS UNIVERSE...GET THE SMEG OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!" The pink elephants looked at Matt for a minute before waving 'goodbye' with their trunks and disappearing in puffs of pink smoke. Matt just continued to stare, twitching every so often. "Er, how long have you known them?" asked Twilight. Pinkie giggled before saying, "It's a secret." Matt just giggled faintly before walking off stiffly." … "It's a fact that's been proven over and over again during the centuries that NSC has been in existence: continuous travel to other worlds wears the mind thin. Never before has that been proven then today. In the last few days, I’ve seen psychotic pink ponies, talking elephants and a unstable wormhole...I need a break. Frankly, I wonder how Pinkie can hold herself together like that. Hopefully, I won't find out myself one day. Still, she did manage to get that portal working, or rather her pink elephants did. I think I heard somewhere that insanity is a hindrance on innovation. Frankly, I find that thought terrifying. However...this has also resulted in the portal device working...shame that Pinkamena jammed it on Paradiso. If I had to run, I wouldn’t choose there...." But figuring out how to change the destination coordinates can't be that difficult, right?”