I was sitting idly in my hospital bed, reading some of the local magazines. Glancing through one of them I saw a photo of Rarity in the Fashion section, with the caption The Hottest New Designer in Equestria. I glanced over at my bloodstained clothes, draped over a chair. "I wonder if she'll make me new stuff..." I said to myself.
Suddenly the door swung open, and Twilight trotted in. "Geo, you're awake!" she chirped, looking really happy to see me.
"Oh, hi, Twilight," I replied. "Yeah, I'm feeling great — although I have absolutely no idea how I got here."
Twilight smiled. "I carried you!" she beamed, before raising an eyebrow. "But you're a lot heavier than you look. It took all of my concentration, but I did it!"
I opened my mouth to speak, but a cough distracted me. "Aren't you going to introduce us, Twilight?" a voice said. I glanced at the door, at which stood two ponies who stood slightly taller than Twilight – though one was still a bit shorter than the other – and were in possession of both wings and a horn.
"Let me guess," I said after retrieving my jaw from the floor. "You must be the Princesses whom Doctor Haywick mentioned."
"I am Princess Celestia," one of them nodded, her tone warm and welcoming. She was pure white with a mane that seemed to move on its own, much like that of the other. "And this is my sister, Princess Luna. I'm sure you can guess as to why we are here?"
"Indeed I do," I replied. "You're here because I'm a new species, and you wish to gauge whether or not my intentions are hostile before coming to a decision regarding what to do with me."
"A new species you are not," Luna said gleefully. "You are actually the first of your kind to be seen here for over a thousand years!"
I blinked in surprise. "A thousand years?" I parroted. "Hmm, that explains why you and Princess Celestia here weren't so shocked to see me, since there must be a history." I paused for a moment. "Wait, if I'm the 'first of my kind,' what happened to the rest?"
"Alas, they died out," Celestia replied, a wistful sigh escaping her. "I remember it like it was yesterday, standing by the last surviving human as he passed on into the next life." She looked away from me and whispered, although I still heard it. "I miss you, Anthony..."
"But it happened over a millennium ago," I checked. "How could you possibly 'remember it like it was yesterday?'"
"Celestia and I are alicorns," Luna explained. "We share all the traits of the other three types of pony – unicorn magic, pegasus flight and Earth pony strength – but we also never age."
"So... you're basically immortal?" I said, somewhat bemused.
"No, I never said that the two of us are immortal." Celestia rolled her eyes. "Luna said that we don't age; we are still vulnerable to other methods of harm, just like the rest of our little ponies."
"I see," I replied. "Sorry if I offended you in any way."
"Do not worry," Luna said, waving a forehoof dismissively. "Anyway, let us get back to the subject at hoof — you. Can you remember what you were doing before you arrived in Equestria?"
I opened my mouth to speak and noticed that Twilight was levitating a piece of paper and a quill in front of her, presumably to take notes. "Well, where do I start?" I sighed and rubbed the back of my head. "I was on my way home from work, when I was nearly hit by a car."
"A what?" Twilight asked.
"A car," I repeated. "Humans use them to move around." I glanced out the window and saw a chariot moving across the sky, being pulled by a pair of pegasi. "Think of them as chariots that move themselves by consuming fuel."
"Fascinating," Twilight said in wonder as she wrote it down.
"Indeed," Celestia replied. "The humans of Ancient Equestria were an advanced race, but only in agriculture. They never would have imagined building machines like that."
"Yeah... my race is rather advanced," I said smugly. "Anyway, after I was nearly ran over by this car, I shouted at the driver to be more careful. He stopped, turned the car around, pulled up beside me, got out, and then asked me what my problem was. When I told him, he punched me." Twilight let out a small gasp at this, but she continued writing. "While I was on the ground, he jumped on top of me and pummelled me with blow after blow." I swung at the air rapidly with my own fists, mimicking the blows I'd received.
Celestia and Luna nodded.
"To save myself, I pretended to be dead," I continued. "However, I didn't know that the guy was going to go and get a gun from—"
"A what?" Twilight interrupted again.
"A gun is a weapon which uses explosive force to fire a small projectile at a target," I explained. "Humans have been using them to kill each other for hundreds of years." I sighed. "In fact, most of our history seems to revolve around conflict." I could see tears beginning to form in Twilight's eyes, but she wiped them away and continued scribbling. "I scrambled to my feet and tried to run away as fast as I could, but I wasn't fast enough to outrun the bullet." I closed my eyes at the memory. "The next thing I knew I had woken up in that forest clearing, bleeding heavily."
Celestia shook her head. "That must have been awful," she said softly. "I can't imagine what that was like for you."
"It was awful," I replied. "I do my best to avoid violence and confrontation, but I guess I couldn't this time."
"And what happened after you woke up?" asked Twilight.
"Well, I found those leaves which I used as makeshift plasters, and set off towards town." I chuckled. "I still had no idea that I was in a land which was populated by talking ponies." Celestia raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. "I thought I had passed out." I said quickly. "I thought that Derek, the man who shot me, had come back to pick me up and dump me somewhere. It's not uncommon for humans to do that when they try to kill someone."
Celestia nodded, her eyebrows returning to their usual positions. "However, as soon as I saw the building with the cupcake on the roof... well, that's when I knew for sure that I wasn't in a familiar area. But I kept walking towards it."
"You were heading towards Ponyville?" Twilight checked.
"Yes, I was," I offered a weak smile, which Twilight returned. "The next thing I know, I'm being lifted a couple of hundred feet into the air by... damn, what's her name again?"
"Rainbow Dash," Twilight replied. "And that's when you met us."
"Yeah, it was," I nodded. "Then I passed out again and Twilight brought me here... and that's pretty much it, Your Highness."
Celestia nodded. "I assume that you would like to return home as soon as the doctor gives you the all-clear to do so?"
"Honestly?" I paused for a while. "No, I wouldn't." All three mares looked at me with stunned expressions. "My life back home wasn't exactly the best; I had no friends, my family and I didn't get along and I absolutely detested my dead-end job." I sighed. "So, if you'll have me... I'd like to stay here in Equestria."
Celestia and Luna glanced at each other before they and Twilight moved to the other side of the room.
***
"What do you think, Tia?" Luna asked, glancing at Geo. "Should we let him stay? His intentions seem noble enough — perhaps the Fates have brought here for a second chance at life?"
"Perhaps," Celestia replied. "But where would he stay? Other ponies need these hospital beds too." She too cast a glance towards the human, who smiled meekly and waved. "Mind you... this is a good opportunity for us to learn all about humans again, as Geo could help us to recover the information we lost when..." She trailed off.
"When I destroyed the Canterlot Archive," Luna finished. "I guess that would be his job, but only if he is willing." She looked at Twilight. "You like to learn, Twilight, so you will have the job of gathering this information from him should he accept our proposal."
"Of course, Princess Luna." Twilight nodded. "It would be my pleasure to obtain this information for you." She smiled broadly. "And, I think it goes without saying that I will relish the opportunity I have been given to make a new friend."
The three of them nodded and broke off, returning to the makeshift bed and causing Geo to start pretending like he hadn't been trying to listen in on their conversation.
***
As the three mares walked back towards me, I started to whistle nonchalantly. I didn't make out much of their conversation, but I could tell – from the way they kept looking at me – that I was the subject of it; they had been discussing my fate.
"We have come to a decision," Luna said. "You are welcome to stay in Equestria, but only on one condition."
"Name it," I said, without even pausing to think. "Name your condition, and I will do my utmost to adhere to it."
"As you know, there used to be humans in Equestria many years ago," Celestia said. "But, the history we had on them was lost."
"Well, shoot," I replied. "And there was me thinking that you had some old history books lying around that mentioned them. It would have been interesting to have read about how they lived."
"Indeed," Celestia continued. "We may have lost the knowledge of the old humans, but we now have an opportunity to learn about new humans. So, if you will allow us, we can use you to reacquire that lost knowledge; Twilight here will be the one responsible for collecting and collating the information you provide."
"Me?" I asked. "You want me to tell you all about humans?" Celestia nodded. "I... I don't think I can. It has to be said that humans where I come from are probably nothing like – as well as far more technologically advanced than – the ones you're familiar with."
"Then teach us," Twilight said, almost pleadingly. "Teach us all about the world you come from: its history, its technology, its people, everything you can. This is probably my only chance to learn something on this scale, so I'm asking you... no, I'm begging you... please help us with this. Help us to learn."
She gazed at me with wide eyes and quivering lips. I tried to look away, but found that I couldn't resist. "All right." I relented. "I'll help you to the best of my abilities."
"Excellent!" Luna cheered, clapping her forehooves together eagerly. "You can begin by bringing us back up to speed, as the phrase goes, with human anatomy. One moment, please, while I go and fetch your doctor." She trotted out the room and came back a few moments later with Haywick in tow. "Now, Doctor, Geo has kindly agreed to help us to relearn all that we can about humans."
"He has?" Haywick asked, turning to face me. "That's wonderful! Not only will this teach my staff and I new things, it will also allow us to treat you a lot better should you find yourself back here." He raised an eyebrow at me. "Although... I don't think that will be happening any time soon, do you?"
I shook my head. "Of course not," I replied. "In the meantime, I will do what I can to help you, but I have to admit that I am not really much of an expert on this sort of thing."
Haywick waved a forehoof dismissively. "We'll start off slow, and work our way forwards," he said soothingly. "Oh, before I forget, you do realise that you will be confined to this room while one, you recover and two, we gather the data we need?"
"I do now," I grumbled. "How long do you think it will take?"
"Hmm... about three months?" Haywick offered me an apologetic smile. "You will be treated with the utmost respect, of course."
"I'll visit you as often as I can, Geo," Twilight said. "That way you don't go stir crazy from being cooped up, and I get to learn more about you and where you come from."
I chuckled at this. "All right, Twilight, you've twisted my arm," I replied. "If it means that I don't end up—"
"I did what?!" Twilight gasped. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to! I wasn't even aware I was doing anything to your arm!"
"No, no, no!" I said, waving my hands in an attempt to calm her down. "It's just a figure of speech! It's just another way of saying that you've convinced me to go ahead with your idea."
Twilight calmed down. "Oh. Well, thank Celestia for that." she let out a sigh of relief. "I thought for sure that—"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I interrupted. "What did Celestia do? She's just sitting there – no offence, Your Highness – and didn't even bat an eyelid while you were freaking out."
Twilight giggled. "It's a figure of speech," she said, sticking her tongue out at me. She then reached into her saddlebag, taking a roll of paper and a quill out. "I'll tell you what, Geo, why don't we make figures of speech our first lesson?"
I laughed and nodded, while Twilight made herself comfortable and the remaining three ponies – Celestia, Luna and Haywick – trotted out of the room, barely managing to conceal the smiles they wore.