Chapter Four: Allergies.
Proofread by The11thWonder
Bassicus was starting to get pretty sick of waking up in strange rooms. After spending a few minutes gathering the details of the room, he realized he was in the Amadias' infirmary. With nothing to do. This was gonna get non-Newtonian.
"...Now I'm sure he won't awaken for another two hours. So do what you need to do and then get out… Why are there diagrams etched into in the floor and walls?" An unfamiliar voice said as it entered the room.
"I got bored and so I took some Mentats." Bassicus replied without looking up from where he was disfiguring a griffon medical skeleton prop.
"Okay. Would you mind if we did some tests to make sure you don't have another allergic reaction to the medicine we gave you?" The voice nervously asked.
"Pip-boy says I'm all good. Don't need any tests."
"Pip-boy?" The voice asked, only for Bassicus to point to a strange gauntlet on his left arm. "I see you're still wearing some armor." The voice observed.
"No. It's my Pip-boy."
"Okay, I'm just going to let my friends here do some tests on yo- Where'd you get your halberd from?" The voice was saying when Bassicus, like the many wearers of a Pip-boy, pulled out his halberd from absolutely nowhere.
"Don't question Vault-Tec ingenuity. Now leave before I have me some griffon for dinner."
"It's actually lunch, but I'll be going now." The voice said, before its owner and several others slowly backed out of the room.
After ten minutes Gilded Feather came in to check on him, and shortly passed out from all the maths on the wall. After coming down from his Mentats high, Bassicus went and shook Gilded awake. "You came in for something?" He asked as she groaned.
"What did you do? And why do I feel smarter?" She asked as he helped her up and together they went off to get lunch.
"I was just on a Mentats high. So what's for lunch?" He asked, trying to change the topic from his many chem addictions.
"We're having Bass soup."
"I think that's the captain’s way of trying to get back at me."
"Probably. There's also some bread and dried meats to go with the soup."
"You're the chef aren't you?" Bassicus asked out of the blue.
"What would make you say that?" Gilded asked.
"Because you know exactly what's for lunch."
"Smart-ass."
"Not my fault my Pip-boy reads my intelligence as nineteen."
"A machine can't measure your intelligence."
"Sure it can. See, here's my S.P.E.C.I.A.L." He said whilst holding up his Pip-boy 25000 for her to see his biological statistics.
Strength: 18
Perception: 15
Endurance: 20
Charisma: 13
Intelligence: 19
Agility: 16
Luck: -3
"How could your species make something so advanced?" She asked as she gawked at his stats.
"Vault-Tec was a rather advanced company-hey I'm slightly luckier!" He remarked as he saw his Luck was -3.
"How can negative-three luck make you luckier?" Gilded asked as they were getting their lunches.
"It used to be negative twenty. Yeah, I was not a lucky camper." Gilded merely nodded sagely at his revelation.
"So that's how you ended up in a changeling hive."
"Huh?"
"You're so unlucky that when your ship crashed they discovered you and tried to siphon off all your memories." Gilded said in an increasingly excited tone.
"... DAFUQ you been smoking?" Bassicus just looked at her likes she smoked some bad weed.
"What? Never mind. I'm talking to an alien! This is so exciting!" She squeed in joy.
"I don't have a ship." He said, and if one listened carefully, they could hear the sound of childhood dreams shattering.
"What?" She asked, creepy smile still on her face.
"I'm not an alien. I'm an inter-dimensional traveler." He stated, only to fall to the floor clutching his ears, as did everyone else present, when she let out a shrill squeal of excitement. "My ears! My beautiful, beautiful, highly augmented ears!!" He screamed in agony as he felt blood trickle from his ears.
"Eheheheh. Sorry." Gilded sheepishly replied, spotting the airship’s entire crew clutching their ears and groaning in agony. "I was just so excited that I was going to be able to one-up that Twilight Sparkle from Equestria."
"Will I ever hear again?" One of the crew members asked.
"Oh stop being a wuss, You'll be able to hear again in a few minutes." Gilded said as she dug into her lunch, shortly afterwards joined by Bassicus, who was still nursing his ears. "So, how's my cooking?" Gilded asked Bassicus as the tried some of the soup, analyzing it first to see if anything in it could poison him.
"It's okay." He said. After receiving an 'I'll cut you if you don't say it's the best damn food you've ever eaten' look from Gilded, he added: "I used to eat five star gourmet meals before the Great War." He released a sigh of relief as Gilded's look abated; he'd never been that scared of anything, and he’s gone one-on-one with an alien super robot.
"So what now?” Bassicus asked between mouthfuls of soup and bread.
"Now we return to Gryphos and you get judged by the king."
"Doesn't sound too bad."
"If you fail, he kills you."
"I've faced off against building sized bugs that shoot plasma. I doubt a puny old griffon can beat me." He proudly stated.
"He's twice as tall as I am, and can lift twenty times his own weight."
"So? I'm wearing three hundred pound armor."
"I find that hard to believe."
"It requires its own power source to be able to move."
"Aren't you afraid that I'll tell him your armors weakness?"
"Doubt it; he'd need to be able to punch through steel to even scratch my armor."
"And why's that?"
"Saturnite."
"What?"
"It's a space age alloy developed in Big MT by the Think Tank. If I had my shredders, nothing would stop me." He told her, gaining an evil look in his eyes at the end.
"Okay. So what are these 'shredders' you just told me about?"
"A pair of Saturnite Powerfists with some Saturnite blades attached to the piston, with about two hundred thousand volts of electricity running through the blades. Also, I have the option to superheat the blades."
"And what does having these extra features do?"
"The electricity means it's highly effective against Power Armor and machines, also it stuns creatures the blades come into contact with, and super-heating the blades makes them an anti-armor weapon."
"I don't think the king will fail you."
"Why? I didn't even tell you about my pistol or my rifle."
"I'm just going to assume everything you have can take down an armored airship."
"I actually did destroy one of those once."
"Of course you did." Gilded sighed.
"It was in the year 2102, I believe. I'd just finished helping out the Vault Dweller and was exploring the southern wastes, when a massive Pre-War construct flew right overhead and started attacking the nearby city. So, being the Good Samaritan I am, I went to the besieged city and proceeded to scale the nearest still standing skyscraper, leapt onto the deck, and slaughtered its entire crew before singlehandedly piloting it back to where I dumped Theta."
"That was very brief and to the point." Gilded told him, then a thought occurred to her. "What's Theta?"
"It’s the alien mothership that abducted me."
"I knew it!" She screeched, causing everyone in earshot to whimper.
"Aliens exist in my dimension, not sure about yours. But, needless to say, I eventually cannibalized Theta and the airship I stole to make my base of operations, the inhabitants of the city I saved rewarded me for saving them by helping me build my base, and their descendants still run and maintain it to this day."
"I see, and how long ago was this?"
"Like, one hundred and eightyish years ago."
"Bullshit."
"I'm not joking. The aliens did something to me that stopped the aging process, amongst other things."
"Like what?" Gilded asked him. 'Like telepathy'. "GAH!!" She shouted when she heard his voice in her head, earning several confused looks from the others in the room.
"It's not very good, I had to constantly keep practicing to get it even to that level of power."
"A little warning next time you speak in my head?" She asked, 'But where's the fun in that?’ One of the griffons at the next table squawked in surprise at the sudden voice in its head
"Sorry, meant to do that to Gilded Feather" Bassicus called out an apology to the embarrassed griffon.
"Really? You're gonna abuse a gift like that?"
"It's not abuse if I forgot I had it."
"I'm… I'm just not gonna bother, your species is clearly a paradox." Gilded Feather said, throwing her arms up in defeat.
"Cool. So when're we gonna arrive in Gryphos?"
"We passed the border three hours ago; we have another ten before we arrive in the capital." Gilded told him, glad to be off the topic of just what the fuck he was capable of.
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Ten hours later the airship had reached the royal air-docks and was just beginning to dock. Being as bored as he was, Bassicus decided to leap onto the docks, failing hopelessly. After being saved by his Power Armor’s auto teleport system from a twenty thousand foot drop, he casually brushed himself off and muttered something about meaning to do that.
"I am Knight Captain Pierce. I have been ordered to escort you and Gilded Feather to the throne room."
"Can't I have some time to explore the city?"
"The king wishes to see you immediately."
"Fine." He started to follow the Knight Captain, when he got bored and started up a conversation. "So, what's a Knight Captains job?"
"I am second in command of the royal guard, though why I am escorting a creature such as you is beyond my reasoning."
"Because I was found in the captivity of something called changelings, which I slaughtered almost half of."
"I find that hard to believe, changelings are one of the hardest things to kill in this world."
"What are the others?"
"That does not matter; we have arrived at the throne room."
"So what do I do now?"
"Now you enter the throne room to be judged."
"Very handy." Bassicus muttered as he entered the room. Looking around he noticed it was rather gloomily decorated, with scarce amounts of light filtering in through the windows and flickering torches lighting the area around the two dozen black marble pillars lining the room. "Rather creepy."
"I'm glad you appreciate my decor." A rusty baritone voice called out from across the room. "I am High King Thermopylae, and you are here to learn of your fate in the griffon empire."
"Now might be a good time to tell you: I'm wearing three hundred pounds of armor."
"I see… what does this 'armor' do exactly?" The High King asked with venom in his voice.
"It's resistant to anything short of an anti-material round, and even then it's getting iffy, it retains heat like there's no tomorrow, had to add some counter measures to stop from being melted into it, it has an auto teleport function to help me out in combat, it augments my strength to ridiculous proportions, it has mini plasma casters in its right glove, a mini Gatling laser in the left one, there's hydraulic pistons in the boots to allow me to move faster and jump farther, and it's designed to be able to interface with my Pip-boy."
"And the helmet?" The High king asked, worry colouring his voice.
"Night vision, thermal vision, heat vision, x-ray vision, optical zoom up to three thousand times magnification, and if worn with the armor itself, creates a completely sealed environment with recycled air."
"So it's incredibly expensive to maintain?"
"Not really, just need to swap out the Fusion Core every twenty years or so and you're golden."
"Can you mass produce this armor, only redesigned for a griffon?"
"If you're willing to spare me the materials and labourers to get myself a base of operations off the ground."
"Very well, I shall-" The High King was about to accept Bassicus' deal and seal his fate as the main weapons manufacturer of the griffon empire, when a jet of green smoke flew through one of the windows and materialized into a scroll in front of him. After giving it a quick once over, the High King’s expression turned into a frown. "It would appear Princess Celestia has heard about your presence, and has requested that I have you escorted to her palace in Equestria."
"She better not be a tyrant, otherwise I'm going and bringing Colossus back here."
"What's this 'Colossus' of which you speak?"
"It's a giant robot I designed a while ago, only recently did I sort out its power requirement problems and weapons systems."
"I see. Your fate has been decided: you are now an honorary member of the Griffon Military and an official citizen of Gryphos. I shall arrange a place for you to stay for the next three days, in which you will be allowed access to all public areas. Once the three days are up, you shall be sent to Equestria to meet with Princess Celestia. While you are they’re you will be a member of my daughter’s personal security force. Have a pleasant stay in Aquilos. Knight Captain Pierce will take you to the royal treasury to pick up a sum of ten thousand bits to help with your endeavors. You are dismissed."
After exiting the throne room, Bassicus followed Pierce to the royal treasury to pick up his money. After watching Pierce babble incoherently for half an hour as he tried to figure out where Bassicus stored all the bits he was given, the duo moved onwards to the arranged lodgings for Bassicus, which were coincidentally right next to the crown princesses’ rooms.
"And this is where we part company and I leave you to your own machinations; please don't do anything drastic."
"I won't if you won't." Bassicus said before going to his room, which Pierce was still trying to figure out how he knew was his, despite never being told which it was.
After closing the door, Bassicus marveled at how creepy his room looked: black marble walls, dark purple carpets, stained glass windows depicting various heroic figures in combat. He decided his room needed a makeover.
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Gilda was just returning to her rooms when she heard an almighty crash coming from the guest room located next to her room. A little pissed at the interruption of her internal musings, she barged into the room only to discover that instead of the normal griffon-esque decor, the entire room had been redecorated with an assortment of technological devices and a large array of weapons. The lone occupant of the room was busy sitting on a couch, fiddling with something on its arm.
"Just what the hay is going on in here?" She demanded: no one disturbs the Crown Princess and gets away with it.
"I was just remodeling. The last look was just too creepy for me, brought back memories of all the raider nests I've purged over the years."
"Do you know who I am?" She asked.
"Do you know who I am?" Bassicus asked her in return.
"Wha- No! Of course I don't know who you are."
"And neither do I?" Bassicus told her in response.
"I am Princess Gilda, heir to the throne of Gryphos."
"I'm Bassicus, Sub-Hero of the wastes. A pleasure to meet you." Bassicus said, holding his hand out to Gilda.
Not knowing what to do, Gilda took his hand and shook it. "What makes you so important that you deserve the room next to the Crown Princess?" She asked him after a few minutes of semi-awkward silence.
"Not a lot I suppose, asides from the fact my armor is the most technologically advanced armor on the entire planet, I have weapons that make yours feel inadequate, oh and I'm ruggedly good looking and am hung like a horse."
"I find that hard to believe." Gilda said with an unamused look on her face.
"Yeah, I'm not really hung like a horse, it's about average." He told her slightly embarrassed.
"Right, I'm gonna go catch some sleep. Later dweeb." Gilda waved as she left Bassicus alone to his thoughts.
"Who the hell still uses dweeb? Hipster much Gilda." He shook his head and went back to repairing his HUD. This was gonna be a wild, wild adventure.