//------------------------------// // Chapter Three: The Awakening // Story: The Adventures of Bassicus // by Dubious //------------------------------// Chapter Three: The awakening. Proofread by The11thWonder Bassicus awoke to a steady beeping sound. At first he thought the Think Tank had decided to experiment on him again. He was collecting his strength to break out of his binding when two people wearing what appeared to be wooden shoes entered the room. "Ah, the strange creature is awake. Bring in Mind Probe." One of people said. "Yes your majesty!" The other one probably saluted and hurriedly left. "Soon I shall know everything you do, and when I do, those pathetic foals won't know what hit them!" The, now clearly feminine, voice hissed. "I don't like my mind being read. Prepare to die." He calmly said, suddenly surging his arms forward to break the chains holding them, only to have them jolt to a sudden stop. "Huh?" "Those chains have been enchanted to be indestructible." The voice said with a hint of pride. It was around this moment he realized he was blind-folded. He had prepared a sarcastic retort, when he got an idea. "Say, are the walls indestructible?" He asked the voice. "What are you talking about?" The voice asked him in confusion. "Thought so." And with an almighty burst of strength he ripped the chains out of the walls, along with some of the wall as well, and swung in the direction of the voice. He heard a satisfying crunching noise. Wasting no more time he quickly removed his blindfold and began freeing himself. He decided to take a look around the room he was in. It was made of a pitch black form of stone, almost like obsidian, with no windows, a single open door (Are they retards?) and an unconscious four legged being with massive cracks in its exoskeleton. "Now, how am I going to get these off?" He idly thought to himself. "You're not." Replied a voice. "And why's that?" He asked whilst turning around, only to see a smaller version of the same unconscious creature standing in the door way. "DAFUQ are you supposed to be?" Was all the response he could manage before the creature charged him. Bassicus deftly dodged the assault, sending the creature flailing into the wall. "Well as much fun as that was, I really should get going." He mused to himself whilst exiting his cell. The hallway was rather drafty, as he could feel it on his rather naked ass, and he decided to go in the direction of the gust. Upon reaching the end of the hallway he encountered a room full of the strange creatures, all frozen in a state of action, some were eating, others walking, and the rest buzzing around (though they eventually fell to the ground.). "Uhh... Hi?" At the sound of his voice the room exploded into action as they all started charging him. "Oh sure 'let's attack the imposing giant wielding two massive ROCKS attached to chains as a weapon'. Real fuckin’ smart." He muttered to himself, readying to attack the horde, only to see them stop suddenly as a voice rang out behind him. "Did you really think it was so easy to best the queen of the changelings?" The voice, which he now decided to label as the queen of what he was now calling changelings, called out from behind him. "I actually didn't know what the fuck you were. So I hardly felt compelled to use my full might against you." He smartly replied. "I saw you straining, I know you are just another weak little creature that thinks it is better than the rest." The voice menacingly told him. "I was actually holding back, because last time I broke out of some chains I accidentally killed everything in front of me with the shrapnel." He smugly told her. "I find that hard to believe." Chrysalis was not amused. "Yeah... That was a lie. But I can still beat you to death." "Bring it. I shall send you back to the depths of your dreams once again, and instead of waiting for you to awake, I shall merely torment your unconscious mind with horrendous nightmares as I slowly drain your memories." Chrysalis said, before charging Bassicus, and receiving a rock to the head. "Didn't you forget I have wall rocks?" "A mere oversight, but let us see how well you fare against the entire changeling hive!" And as if on cue, the changelings all charged Bassicus. "Sigh." Bassicus swung, seemingly carelessly, at the approaching horde and knocked out a few changelings. After gauging his chances of success, Bassicus decided to go 'Ah fuck it!' and charged the bulk of the horde and, in a beautifully choreographed display of brutality, violently pulped each and every changeling that he came across. After roughly ten minutes of bug squashing, Bassicus stood triumphantly as over two quarters of the changeling swarm lay dead at his feet. "And THAT is how you defeat nearly half an army, buck naked and without any conventional weapons!" He loudly cheered. Chrysalis merely watched as Bassicus cheered in front of her, whilst waiting for her secret weapon to arrive, she idly pondered how she knew this creature’s name. Then she saw the massive tattoo of its name on its back. Ominous thumping signaled the arrival of her ace in the hole, something she had developed to help to best the Elements of Harmony in her next invasion of Equestria. The Queen thunderously boomed. "BEHOLD THE MIGHT OF MY SECRET WEAPON!!!". Bassicus, still not giving a fuck, turned to look at where the thumping was coming from and saw a massive shadow, but noticed it was getting smaller and the sound of the thumps was reducing. After a full minute he beheld Chrysalis' ultimate weapon, a weapon designed to fill her enemies hearts with fear and make them quake at her approach. Bassicus' reaction wasn't at all what was supposed to happen. "IT'S SO FUCKING CUTE!" He said, lunging towards the incredibly adorable creature that now stood in front of him. The changelings and their queen all reacted similarly upon seeing Bassicus, who was supposed to be overcome with fear, cuddling the Queen’s ultimate weapon. "Wha-Huh-HOW?! How can you be unaffected by my secret weapon?" She angrily asked. "How can I be scared of something so adorably cute!" He squeed, causing the Queen to take a step back, here was a creature of unmatched cruelty and it was cuddling with... with a BABY CHANGELING! "GRAHHH!" Chrysalis growled before charging Bassicus, and once again got smacked in the face with a section of wall. "How do you keep forgetting about these?" He asked, jingling the chains with some wall stuck to them. With a shout of rage Chrysalis dissolved the chains with her magic and charged again, only to fall to the ground paralyzed. "Paralyzing palm, my good madam." He explained cheekily before walking away, and then walking back. "Exit's that way." He said, continuing to find his way out of the changeling hive. ~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~ Two hours later Bassicus was standing on the very top of the changeling hive, completely confused as to how he got there. "How the fuck did I get up here!" He cried to the heavens, which must have decided to be nice for a change as an airship descended from the clouds. "Thank the fucking gods!" He yelled with mirth. And returning to their old ways, the airship opened fire on Bassicus and the hive in general. "When I get out of this, I'm coming for you." He threatened the heavens, only to get struck by a lightning bolt, launching him down the side of the hive. "We got a wounded non-combatant here!" A voice cried out in alarm at Bassicus' feud with the heavens. "Squadron three, go and bring the non-combatant to the Amadias, NOW!" Ordered a possibly authoritative voice, Bassicus wasn't entirely sure as he had blacked out at this point. ~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~ Bassicus awoke, again, in an unfamiliar room. Looking around he realized, One: He wasn't blindfolded, and two: He was in an infirmary of some sort. "Ah, good. You are awake. I thought that you would be unconscious after the lightning strike." A strange sounding voice told him. "Where am I?" He questioned. "You are in the Amadias' Medical bay." The voice told him. "Now then, who and what are you?" "I'm Bassicus, Sub-hero of the wastes, and I'm a human." He explained, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. "I see, but why Sub-hero?" The voice asked. "I'll answer that once I get your name, miss...?" "It's Gilded Feather, so as you were about to explain?" Gilded Feather prompted Bassicus. "I call myself a Sub-Hero because I'm never the actual hero, merely a companion; have been for the last two hundred years." He told Gilded, only to receive disbelieving gasps. "What?" "There's no way you're immortal!" Gilded yelled at him. "Sure I am, just like my entire skeleton was ripped out and replaced with robotic imitations, and my muscles were mucked around with to make them pack more punch per square-inch then anything short of a Deathclaw." "Lies and slander." Was Gilded's response. "Aliens." "Everyone knows they don't exist." Gilded Said. "They only exist in science fiction books and comics." "I have the experiences to prove otherwise. Now changing topics, don't suppose you could tell me why you were at that weird bug filled mound?" "Well, since you aren't really in the know, I suppose the captain won't be displeased at me for telling you. We were rai-" Gilded began to explain, only to get cut off. "Airman Gilded Feather, were you about to give away our mission to this creature!" The authoritative tone demanded. "Right here, ya know." Was Bassicus' response to the demand, whereas Gilded Feathers went more along the lines of: "N-no S-Sir! I was merely checking in on the patient, sir!" "Good, now then, what have you learnt from it?" "It's apparently called a 'human' and its name is Bassicus. It also has allusions that it is immortal and was abducted by aliens." "It's all true! Every last word!" Bassicus called out from the bed where he had found a magazine and was reading it. "Be quiet creature!" The new comer screeched at Bassicus. "Asshole." He muttered to himself whilst turning the page. "Well, let's take him back to the capital with us. The king could use another pet." The newcomer chuckled. "Bullllshit." Bassicus said. "You are in no position to protest, creature." The newcomer, who Bassicus has now labeled as Bob, told him. "Huh? I wasn't listening to what you were saying, I was merely remarking on how much bullshit this supposed 'scientific' magazine was filled with." "What are you on about? That is the royal university of Gryphos' monthly magazine on the inner workings of the universe." "And it's all completely wrong. Gravity isn't caused by the planets benevolence towards the creatures on its surface. It's caused by the collective pull from the innumerable number of atoms that make up the land." He scienced [Perception: 15!]. After his little explanation he suddenly started floating up. "What did you do?" He regarded the two people, Griffons he now realized. They remained stoic and unfazed, like this shit happened to him on a daily basis. "You pissed of Equus, and so she excluded you from gravity." "I'm calling hacks on this, no way can a planet be sentient." At this he suddenly smacked into the floor, then the ceiling, then the floor again, before returning to being suspended in midair. "I beg to differ." An ethereal voice called out from everywhere and nowhere. "And why do you say that?" Bassicus asked as the two griffons slowly backed out of the room. "Because I am Equus." The ethereal voice replied. "And I'm really an inter-dimensional traveler." "You dare mock me, mortal?" Equus threatened. "I'm not mocking you, I really do traverse dimensions. Speaking of which, I don't suppose you know where all my stuff is?" "Ask Captain Swift Talon." Equus told him, before switching the gravity back on. "So Captain Swift Talon, what day is it?" Bassicus asked. "Uh... It's Wednesday." Captain Swift Talon uneasily replied. "I see. Where is my stuff?" "We scavenged some strange items on our mission, I assume they are yours?" Captain Swift Talon asked. "Probably. Now I'm just going to forget that I pissed off the planet, and follow you to where these items are." "But you got struck by lightning!" Gilded warned him. "I know, and I'm better now. So these items?" Bassicus brushed off the warning casually, leaving Gilded Feather indignantly sputtering. "Uh, right this way... Sir?" Captain Swift Talon asked uneasily. "Sure." After exiting the infirmary, Captain Swift Talon walked across the hall and unlocked the door to the storage room. Gesturing to all the items carefully arranged on the shelves he asked. "Is any of this yours?" "Most of it." Bassicus said, before becoming a light brown blur (‘cause he's tanned.), much to the confusion of Captain Swift Talon. After ten seconds of solid looting- I mean reclaiming lost property, Bassicus stood in his Hydra Power Armor with his Anti-building rifle and Electron Plasma Halberd slung across his back and his Slug Pistol hung from his waist. "Now I don't feel... Okay I didn't exactly feel vulnerable before, what's the feeling I'm looking for?" He asked himself. "Comfortable?" Captain Swift Talon suggested. "That's it! Now I feel more comfortable." Bassicus exclaimed, three seconds later the room rocked as an explosion sounded from elsewhere on the Amadias. "We appear to be under attack, don't move." Captain Swift Talon ordered Bassicus as he turned to leave. "So you don't need my help?" Bassicus asked. ""Why would I need the help of an untrained individual as you?" "Because I have this really OP rifle that could be classified as industrial mining equipment." "I don't know what any of that means, but you're still staying here." "I have a halberd I'm really effective with." "... Fine. Just don't make me regret letting you help." He said, motioning for Bassicus to follow, as another explosion tore at the ship. After a short trip out a door, Bassicus found himself on the deck of an airship pulled out of the pages of a fantasy novel. Complete with galleon shape and a massive balloon keeping it aloft. "I'm just not gonna question how this is scientifically possible and just roll with it, then it's all the therapist’s problems. When I find one, that is." Bassicus muttered to himself before preparing for battle. On the deck of the airship, the griffon crewmen fought changeling invaders in a chaotic battle for control of the deck. The griffons were clearly outmatched and were losing the fight, the changelings, pushing their advantage made a move towards the doorway Bassicus was standing in. His thoughts? Seen worse. Couldn’t help but put a comical spin on the whole situation. Magic bug-pirates attacking Griffons on a futuristic airship. In another dimension. Pulling his halberd off his back he prepared to do battle with the changeling swashbucklers on deck, only to hear amused chuckling coming from the captain. "Nice halberd." He laughed, trying and failing at hiding his amusement that the creature was so boastful about its weapon and it turned out to be a dud and they were all going to die because of it. With this ego slightly damaged, Bassicus hit the on switch for his halberd, momentarily causing everyone present to stop what they were doing to look in his direction, as a green blade materialized out of nowhere. "Showoff." He could feel his ego rising from its ashes. Standing at the ready, Bassicus prepared for the worst, only to have the heavens continue being assholes as a massive changeling the size of the airship broke through the cloud layer below them. "I swear, if I can't penetrate its armor with my Anti-Building Rifle,” He gestured towards the heavens, “I'm coming at you with torture tools.” This earned a confused look from Swift Talon, and readied his Anti-Building Rifle to take down the gargantuan changeling, only for it to be wrenched out of his hands by a changeling that used it as a blunt instrument to hit him on the head. "Ow. Quit it. Okay this is just getting annoying." He finally said after thirty seconds continuous smacking, and merely grasped his rifle and and took a potshot at the massive changeling, removing its wing and removing a fair portion of its protective exoskeleton in the process. However, the beast still stayed aloft. "Screw it." He said before pulling a grenade off his belt that wasn't there before and lobbing it in the changeling’s mouth. Patiently waiting, Bassicus backhanded a changeling off the side of the airship, and then he realized something. "I forgot to pull the pin." He facepalmed, only for something sharp to prick against his forehead, which as it turned out, was the pin. Completely confused as to why the grenade didn't detonate, he was completely caught off guard and was flung to the floor when it did go off, coating everything nearby in changeling bits. "What in Tartarus was that?" Swift Talon yelled in surprise. "It was just a Holy Hand Grenade, which I only have twenty of left." "A little warning before you use one of them, the next time?" "Okay, I guess. So what's for dinner?" Bassicus asked, in an attempt to get Swift's mind off the giblets of changeling coating his airship. "It's seven in the morning. So we're having fish stew for breakfast." "Okay, I suppose." Bassicus replied. After settling down in the mess hall of the airship, Bassicus decided to check his inventory and, much to his surprise, he discovered he still had his extremely large stockpiles of ammo on him. "I've been wondering something for a while now." he asked no one in particular. "What is it?" Asked the griffon sitting next to him. "I'd say it, but I'm not gonna risk the heavens deciding to undo it." The Griffon raised an eyebrow. "The heavens?" "I don't know what it is exactly, but for some reason me and it haven't gotten off on the right foot." "And what is 'it'?" "The supreme master of the universe." "You really know how to make enemies." "Yep, also what kind of fish is in this soup?" He asked the griffon. "Cod." "Ah.I may need to be taken to the infirmary soon." "Why?" The griffon asked, only for his question to be answered seconds later by Bassicus falling unconscious next to him with his face completely swelled. "Ah fuck."