PonyChum was Equestria’s first messaging program. It came out not long after computers did, and ponies flocked to it in droves. It still was the most popular; million used it all day, every day, and Dash was one of them. It was also one of the most interesting ways to commune; everyone seemed to have gotten the idea that putting in something weird with your typing like letters capitalized, motifs, or all kinds of weird stuff, somehow made you “cool”. Rainbow did not participate in the weirdness, per se. She just typed out what needed to be said, with no frills or motifs. Or even punctuation.
Rainbow looked at the list of her contacts. It was quite an extensive list, most of it in the spam folder. Dash still had no idea who kept leaking her usernames out, but online privacy was important, and she didn't need some random pony telling her about how she was "STUTID" and many other poorly spelled, derogatory terms. Ignoring that, only nine names remained. 5 were of course her best friends, the girls she'd go to the ends of Equestria, and beyond, for, and they were part of a special little group on her screen. They had called the group "Elements of Harmony" in the end, after going to Twilight's house to discuss it. Then Pinkie had tried to break a bottle on the screen, "Like that thingy they do with ships!", and things had descended into chaos from there. Despite Spike’s best efforts, there were still char marks on the bookcases.
The other four usernames were all friends, good acquaintances at worst. They were a ragtag group- two friends-of-friends, a mailmare, and the enigmatic pony Dash knew only as a username, shortened to "DD". She had run into them in various ways. Friends-of-friends had been introduced as such, and they were both really, really weird ponies, but in a good way, like Pinkie. Derpy had been one of two fillies Rainbow knew from when she was little, who Rainbow had guarded from trouble. At least, when she was not getting them into it. And DD... well, Dash didn’t remember. But she was cool, at least, and always seemed to know what to do when times were down.
None of that group of friends were on, but EoH was lit up. More than half her friends were on there right now; Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Applejack. Rainbow chuckled a little at Applejack's username; it was by far the worst she had ever seen, entered in a fit of rage at the technology. Applejack had considerably improved her skills since then, but the name remained. Mainly because no one had told her she could change it.
Rainbow looked among her friends, trying to decide who to contact. There really was only one sensible option, Applejack. Rainbow opened up a chat log with the farmer.
vwooshWonderbolt [VW] began messaging consarnityouuselesspieceascrapMetal [CM]
VW: hey aj
VW: you on
CM: Sure am sugarcube!
CM: What can I do ya for?
That was Applejack, definitely. Only an Apple bothered to type their own accent in. At least she was fine with Dash’s typing.
VW: did you get twilights parcel
CM: The game?
CM: 'Course I did.
CM: Turned up with the mornin' mail, straight from the office.
CM: But I think Derpy didn't give me everything.
CM: According to the letter, ah'm missin' a parcel.
VW: i am too
VW: which one do you have
She knew before she asked what the answer would be.
CM: Only the client CD.
VW: shoot
VW: that's the one i got too
CM: Darnit.
CM: So, if ah'm readin' this here letter right, does that mean we can't play together yet?
VW: yeah
VW: do you know if anybody has their server disc
CM: Both Rarity and Pinkie have both.
CM: So we could play with one each.
CM: I don't know about Fluttershy, but she's not on anyway.
Rainbow paused for a moment. She could wait until Fluttershy was on, but she had no idea what the mare was doing, besides taking care of animals of course. Who knew how long it’d take her to get on?
Or she could chase down Derpy, and get the server off her personally, maybe even ask her to play. But she had no idea where the mare was- her mail route was one of the longest and most convoluted puzzles she had ever seen, and there was no guarantee she actually had it. And getting her to play was out of the question.
And on top of that, what about the game itself? If she and AJ connected with different people that’d make... two separate groups.
A-ha!
VW: hey aj
VW: i got an idea
CM: Ah'm listenin'.
VW: we make teams
VW: and square off against each other.
VW: mine vs yours
VW: what do you say
CM: Sounds great to me!
CM: Mah team will kick yours right outtah town!
VW: oh its on
VW: youre going into space aj
VW: my team is going to completely take yours out
VW: like you wouldnt believe
VW: well have this game over and done with
VW: before you even start
This was the bit where Applejack made her rebuttal. It usually turned out good; Applejack and RD had gone into taunting bouts that had lasted days in total, and got incredibly elaborate over time. The best one they had said included spaceships, cue balls, mannequins, and baking companies, all in one sentence. Not that either of them remembered how it went, or who said it, but they both agreed it was the best they ever saw.
Whatever it was.
Where was AJ? She had normally responded by now.
VW: hello
VW: aj you there
CM: One sec, ah'm getting my pardner.
Horsefeathers!
VW: what
VW: oh no come on
VW: we didn't say go yet
VW: this is totally unfair
VW: you tricked me come on aj
VW: argh
CM: Too late!
CM: I got Rares.
VW: oh great
VW: how’d she listen to you
CM: Maybe because I asked her first?
CM: Instead of raging at someone else?
VW:
CM: Have fun, Sugarcube! :D
VW:
VW: y7u6jhj
And now her face hurt. Her face hurt, her back hurt, and soon her brain would be in agony trying to deal with HER. This day just kept getting better, didn’t it?
VW: that didnt work
VW: anyway
There was nothing. No response good enough to convey the rage, to no clever wit to turn the tables, nothing.
VW: i will get you for this aj
Real smooth, Dash.
vwooshWonderbolt [VW] ceased messaging consarnityouuselesspieceascrapMetal [CM]
Rainbow growled. That farmer always knew how to push her buttons. Now she had a sore back and a sore face to boot.
And she was facing the two hardest workers in Ponyville, with only Miss Attention Deficit Ooh Shiny on her side. SO unfair. Rarity may be fussy, but she was much more likely to be productive. Pinkie Pie was... Pinkie Pie! She was just so annoying, and always talking about something. Rainbow still made a point of not mentioning cherries to her. Ever.
On the other hoof... Rainbow turned the idea over in her head. Pinkie had a way of knowing things she shouldn't. She could be blisteringly fast. And she was a loose cannon, but that could work both ways. She was creative, too; Dash would certainly have a better time than AJ would. Pinkie would be fun!
Dash grinned. She had the upper hand; she could make this work.
There was no way this could go wrong.