//------------------------------// // Of Puchus and Ponies // Story: Attack of the Puchus // by ZemaBato //------------------------------// Chapter 5: Of Puchus and Ponies *THUD* “Uuuhhh…” moaned the lavender pony. “Twilight! Are you okay, sugarcube?” Twilight opened her eyes. Applejack stood over her, concern on her face. “I’m… I’m fine, I think,” she responded. A loud thud rocked the bakery. “What’s going on? I remember riding on the train…” She stopped as memories flooded her mind. The “teddy bear”, the attack against the butler, it all came back to her. Another thud hit the building. “Ah, I’m so sorry, everypony! I didn’t know what that thing was. I-I didn’t think it could control me like that. That I would almost do something so…” She was abruptly cut off as Applejack wrapped her hooves around her. “Its okay, Twilight. We know you weren’t right in the head. It was those darn puchus, bucking everything up.” Another crash hit the bakery, and knocked over some pictures, the glass shattered as they hit the floor. Applejack looked at the wall where the pictures once were. “Consarnit, those guards need to stop this ruckus” Confused, Twilight looked around. The door to Sugarcube Corner was barricaded with a variety of heavy items. A refrigerator, oven, couch, and grand piano (?) blocked entrance into the building. As she looked away from the door, she saw the others in the main room. There was a strange creature – Space Butler, the human – sitting at the table. He was talking to Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy was in the back, talking to the innocent party goers. Rarity, strangely enough, was in the kitchen. Pots and pans flew around her as she matched them with various pieces of cloth. That last sight only confused the unicorn. She turned to Applejack. “What’s going on here?” The orange pony sighed. “It’s those darn puchus. They took over the royal guards from Canterlot, and they showed up not long after you did.” A bit of anger flashed in her eyes. “They also took over some of those fancy Canterlot ponies too. Mostly unicorns, I reckon.” Twilight looked at the door one more time. “Let’s talk to Space Butler. It seems like he’s met them before. He might know how to deal with them.” The two trotted over to the human. Fluttershy headed to the group as well. Only Rarity stayed where she was, inspiration stuck in her eyes. Space Butler bowed at them as the approached, and pulled up chairs for them to sit. “Good evening, ladies. My apologies for the incident earlier. I hope we can work together to get rid of these accursed demons.” Twilight smiled nervously. “It’s alright, Space Butler. I’m sorry for attacking you earlier. I wasn’t in the right mindset, as you saw.” “No, you weren’t.” His attention shifted to everyone at the table. “Now, then. As I explained to the others, the secret to the puchu’s devilish ways is their cuteness. It’s like a hypnotic spell of pure evil. The best way to counter them is to punch them in the face. This will cause them to lose their power, and you’ll see them for the abominations that they are.” He spoke those last words with a hint of anger. “Now then, we need strategy to be able to take on all those guards and other ponies, while removing the puchus. Miss Twilight, I want you, Miss Applejack and Miss Pinkie Pie to take on the guards. Miss Twilight, since you are a student of magic, and of your princess, I trust this won’t be difficult.” The unicorn’s ears drooped. “It’s not hard, but… how do we get the puchus away once we take out those who are controlled?” “Ah,” he replied, “that’s easy enough. Once you three take out the guards, Miss Dash will use her speed to knock out the puchus, and gather them up in one spot. Once they are defeated, they don’t move much.” He turned to the blue Pegasus. “Miss Dash, besides the puchus on the ground, you’ll probably have to fight any pegasi controlled by the puchu. Are you able to handle that?” Rainbow puffed out her chest. “No problem, dude. I can take care of them in 10 seconds flat.” Applejack shook her head slightly. “Good to hear. Miss Pie, can your party cannon be used for other things?” Pinkie Pie looked ecstatic. “Why OF COURSE, silly! I can take care of all those meanie puchus like super-duper quick! Well, not as quickly as Rainbow Dash, but almost as quick. You can count on me!!!” The pink earth pony spun quickly, and when she stopped, she wore a skintight suit and goggles. Twilight looked at her. “Uh, Pinkie, why do you have goggles? It’s night time now.” Pinkie giggled. “Silly Twilight, these are night vision goggles!” Space Butler didn’t bother to ask how she got those. “Pardon me, Space Butler,” Applejack started, “but what do you plan on doin?” “I plan on helping, Miss Applejack. As a butler, it is my job to serve my master. She knows you can take care of yourselves, but she opted to stay back and help the poor ponies that are stuck here by guarding Sugarcube corner. But just in case, she is making up some armor for you girls.” Satisfied, he turned to the yellow Pegasus. “Miss Fluttershy, if you are able, I would like you to stay here with the other ponies, and take care of anyone that gets injured.” The normally-shy pony stared back with a look of determination. “You can count on me.” “I-if…. You don’t mind, that is…” “Readyyy~” Chimed Rarity, coming into the main room with 7 outfits. Each one looked like a suit, but with pots and pans reworked as plates of armor. There was one for each pony. The human noticed that the 7th one was a bit small. “Miss Rarity, who is that last one for?” he asked. “For me, of course,” replied Spike. “I’m gonna keep the puchus in a ring of fire. You know, just in case they try something funny.” The butler walked over and smiled. “Mr. Spike, that is fine. Just be careful, and don’t fall for their tricks.” “You can count on me!” The human stood up, and faced everyone as they finished getting into their new armor. “Now then, are we ready to get rid of these little terrors?” “READY!!!” He turned to the door. “Let’s do this.” *** Outside of Sugarcube Corner, several guards stood in a line. Each one helped hold a giant log, and they periodically rammed the door, to no avail. Between each hit, the bigger guardponies bucked the door with all their might. The leader stayed back, keeping a watchful eye over the scene. Somepony approached him, and tapped him on his shoulder. “Excuse me, sir, but Miss Rarity requires that you refrain from attacking this establishment.” The guard pony turned right into Space Butler’s fist, and went flying away from the bakery. The puchu that was riding his back fell to the ground. The human wasted no time and punted the bear-thing into clearing. The puchu tried to get up, but failed when it saw small dragon feet nearby. “You’re not going anywhere, you stupid doll,” Spiked said with a smirk. He took a deep breath in, and expelled a dark green flame on the ground. The little dragon didn’t stop until he completed his circle of flame, which was big enough to surround a decent-sized house. The puchu, certain that it could get past the flames, jumped up towards the young drake. Unfortunately, the flames lurched up and devoured the puchu, leaving only bits of ash. Shortly after, the crispy puchu reappeared in the middle of the field, twitching on the ground. “Humph, that’ll teach him to try and get past my fire,” he said with satisfaction. The field was out of the way of all the chaos, and the little dragon felt relieved that he didn’t have to actively fight with the guards and other ponies of Canterlot. He paced around the flames, keeping guard of the growing pile of puchus. Every now and then, he captured the random puchu that didn’t land in the circle. *** Rainbow Dash rushed up. Higher and higher she went, until she rose above the highest clouds. She took a deep breath, and then dove towards the ground. Normally, she would enjoy the rush of speed, the blast of wind that flowed past her face. Faster and faster she went, rapidly approaching the ground. About 100 feet above the ground, she braced herself. Right before she hit the ground, she pulled her wings in, pivoted, and took off in a blinding light. She created a sonic rainboom. Space Butler smiled as the multitude of colors hit right above his head. The shockwave rocked the bakery, while all the guardponies and Canterlot unicorns got thrown away, towards town square. Satisfied about the results, the butler stood next to his master, readying a set of brass knuckles. He would have opted for his signature guns, but a certain white unicorn stressed the importance of the Canterlot populace surviving the ordeal. Some of the possessed ponies didn’t get taken far from the bakery, and were soon back. It was mainly the guardponies, since their armor weighed them down considerably more. “Looks like we have quite a bit of work ahead of us, dear,” Rarity said, levitating two pieces of cloth on each side. Despite the odds, the fashionista allowed herself a smile. “Miss Rarity, this will be easy. I can more than handle these ruffians.” He gave the mare a smile. “But, with you watching my back, I know we will succeed.” And with that, the two braced for the guards. *** In town square, the guards and noble ponies recovered from the sonic rainboom. The wave wasn’t enough to take out the puchus, but it did the job the human intended. In a flash, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie teleported in front of them. Applejack went straight for the guards. She bucked them all with ease, years of apple bucking paying off. Pinkie Pie took care of the nobles from Canterlot. Using her party cannon, she blasted dozens at a time. Each blast of her cannon was different. The first shot had ponies covered in cakes, pies, and other desserts. The second blast saw ponies covered in streamers and confetti. Or at least, that’s what those things looked like. The ponies didn’t see the bricks in the cake, nor that the confetti was actually pellets covered in pepper spray. The ammo, unusual as it was, served its purpose. Pinkie Pie, completely unaffected by her “party favors” bounced around the fallen nobles. The cakes were delicious. The party pony wasn’t only having fun. Whenever she found a puchu, she flung it towards the sky, where Rainbow Dash took the deceptively cute thing and chucked it towards the circle of flames. There were a few Pegasus guards, but Dash made quick work of them. The wave of the sonic rainboom didn’t knock them out, but the resultant crash to the ground took care of a good chunk. The other Pegasus guards, unfortunately, were too slow for the blue blur. Back on the ground, Twilight used a sleeping spell to knock out the guards. She went to subdue the latest guard, when a blast of pink magic struck her side. Another blast of magic headed towards her, but she dodged; the stray magic striking a house, which exploded. Twilight looked at the guard, and gasped at the familiar sight. “Hello Twily. Why don’t you come here and help out your BBBFF?” *** The duo stood back-to-back, their route to the door of Sugarcube Corner cut off by a few crafty guardponies. It has been an hour since their battle begun, the butler working at a top pace. The first few guards stood no chance to his weapons. They weren’t dumb, though, and they quickly adapted to the brass devices on his hands. Rarity, although not as tired, had her own trouble. The cloth she used was durable, but it didn’t have the strength needed to break past the guard’s armor. She stayed back as more of a support pony, not quite sure what needed to be done by her at this point. A light appeared to one of the guard pony’s side. He broke out into a wicked smile. “Well well well, looks like it’s the end for you two.” He let out a chuckle. “Any last words?” A second light appeared, and the butler smiled. “Buckle up.” “What’s that supposed to-“ He was cut off as a horn honked. *SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH* In an instant, 6 of the 10 guards were taken out by military jeep. The driver-side door opened up, and revealed another human. This one had a decidedly relaxed look, and wore blue jeans with a red jacket that was rolled up to the elbows. A yellow tie stood out from his blue undershirt. On top of his head sat an amazing afro. He looked around at the destruction he caused, then stared at Space Butler. “Well, long time no see, old man,” he said as he smiled. Space Butler gawked at the other human, tears coming down his face. “Nabeshin, my old protégé.” He stood straight and wiped away his tears. “How did you get here?” “That was easy, Space Butler.” He jumped out of the jeep and walked over. “I was helping an old lady cross the street, when Will showed up.” “Will, as in the Great Will?” Nabeshin nodded. “How did she get there? Last time I saw her, I blew her up outside a hospital window.” “Well, she IS the Great Will of the Macrocosm. She probably reset herself so that she didn’t suffer any injuries. She’ll know not to mess with you again,” he said with a laugh. The guards, annoyed that they were ignored, decided to attack the would-be rebels. Nabeshin was the first to react. He grabbed two of the guards by their necks, and struck them together. They were out cold in an instant. One guard went after Space Butler. He side-stepped the guard, then grabbed him by the tail. Using a practiced motion, the butler flipped the guard over his shoulder, and slammed him into the ground, knocking him out. The last guard, desperate for any victory, went after Rarity. She stood her ground, and as the guard got close, she teleported behind him, wrapping his legs with the cloth. With a flick of her horn, she slammed the guard back and forth, until all he could see were stars. She removed the cloth, and dusted it off. It was good cloth, and could be used for later. With the last of the guards knocked out in the area, the three took this time to relax. Rarity sat on the ground, using the cloth as a blanket. Space Butler stood next to his master, and Nabeshin sat back in the jeep, leaving the door open. “So,” Rarity began, “tell me about yourself. Dear Space Butler mentioned you once, but I want to hear from the po-er... man himself.” Nabeshin let out a hearty laugh. “It’s quite fine, lady. Back when I was in the military, old Space Butler here taught me everything he knew. I was his protégé, but we were the closest of friends. After we got out of the service, we hung around many places. Boy, the things we did…” He looked at the white pony for a second. “Well, that’s not appropriate for a lady such as yourself. Let’s just say we had quite the time. “But eventually, all good times come to an end. He found a new master to serve, I dove deeper into the underground, and it was that way up until now.” Space Butler interjected. “What about the Great Will?” “I’m not sure,” the afro-man responded. “After she dropped me off here, she went off and went somewhere. I figure she won’t be bothering anyone again.” Before Rarity could respond, Twilight zipped past the group, crashing into the bakery. The force of the impact took out one of the walls. The trio rushed over, concern in their eyes. Before they could get to their friend, a shield of pink magic blocked their path. A guard pony, a unicorn, was walking toward the lavender mare. His helmet removed, everyone could see the two-toned blue mane. “I’m sorry, guys, but this is between me and my sister.” *** Out near town square, Peso was enjoying a good night’s sleep. A hard working brown earth pony from Mexicolt, he was finally living the dream of Ponyville. That is, until tonight. A large explosion rocked his humble house, the flames spread quickly. Poor Peso tried to make it out of his collapsing home, but a beam pinned him to the ground. With everything crashing down around him, he cried like a filly. Suddenly, he was overtaken by the night sky itself. Peso couldn’t believe what was going on. He was concerned by the arms, though. “Poor Peso.” A voice mused. “I am the Great Will of the Macrocosm. I will reset the story for you, so that you may live.” Peso broke down, tears of relief flowed down his face. Everything looked so dim, but he was happy to know he’d survive. “Mmmmm,” the voice cooed. “You are quite the strapping stallion.” Peso’s face went pale. “I’m not usually one to indulge, but I think I’ll make an exception for you~” With that, Peso was dragged against his will into the Great will for a night of *ahem* passion. Not a single pony heard his screams of agony.