Chapter Four: In Which Twilight Makes Her Decision

The moment the sun ceased to be enough was the nearest to real panic she'd ever come. For what felt like eternity she reached out, pleaded, begged for even the faintest breath of relief, but it was to no avail. The great burning orb whose light had anchored her for so long had only so much to give, and her agony had grown beyond the reach of its golden rays. Their perfect order had little effect now; it was as if her mind had developed an insidious resistance to that particular balm, and for a horrific moment, the memories swelled beyond the fragile borders she'd established.

Still, Celestia persevered. If there was anything she'd gained during her long life, it was an amazing reservoir of endurance. Patience, stamina, and discipline had formed a dam that she'd relied on countless times before, and as sunlight failed to hold back the growing tumult, she relied on it again. She pushed back at the hurt with that dam, reinforcing it with willpower and pure desperation. It held, too, held well enough that, for a few days, she dared to allow hope to grow anew. There seemed another chance that all would stay together until the pain descended back from whence it came.

She spent those days in a trance only she recognized, relying on an impeccably trained mind to handle the outer world while she nurtured the protective shield within. The daily rituals of palace life furthered the illusion of tranquility, and she drew what strength she could from what most would have considered dreary monotony. For a foolish moment she'd actually believed that her last meager efforts would succeed, daring to allow just a shade of relief into her thoughts.

It was not to be. A deeper part of her knew it, but her conscious mind finally admitted defeat only when the pain suddenly soared, nearly pulling a moan from her tense throat. She managed, though. Inner strength grappled with pain as she finished watching Luna raise her namesake, and only when she'd exchanged evening pleasantries with her younger sister did Celestia retire to her room. Once there, the façade crumbled. She sank to her knees, unable to keep upright as she gathered all of her strength to push back against the veritable wave of unwanted knowledge bearing down on her.

She trembled with that immense effort, her breath coming in the short pants of a suffering animal. It felt like hours before she could rise again, but the moon's position revealed it to have been only a few minutes. When she finally stood, legs still quivering minutely, all prior hope was gone, replaced with a chill resolve. Celestia closed her eyes as she stepped out onto the balcony; she did not open them for a long time. When she did, the look in them was blurred by a sheen of tears, but flint-hard all the same.

The way forward was clear now. She'd had to reach down, past the crowd of memories and pain, deep down into the abyss of her mind to call upon the only power she knew of that could make this stop. It had hurt; not physically, but it had hurt all the same, for as she reconnected with notions and ideals long-buried, she recognized a danger inseparable from what she was going to do. It was not a danger to herself; rather, the danger was towards her precious little ponies, and it was for that reason that Celestia had to survey her sleeping kingdom through a veil of tears.

She'd done it before. Once. Only once, eons back when all of this had first started. Eons ago, she'd looked out over her kingdom just like this, felt the same nauseating agony, battled the same wrenching memories, and in the end, in order to save herself and, by extension, her kind, she'd made her decision. That decision had extended her power across her entire world, caging all within its place in her divine order, locking it, ensuring that when she looked upon it, it would quench the ever-burning fire deep within. Even now, thinking about what she had done so long ago, she felt her pangs lessen just a touch. With that relief, however, came its permanent partner: withering regret.

What had been done... what was still being done... for a moment, she let the consequences wash over her. The resulting guilt was the most personal punishment she knew, and she immersed herself in it as tears dripped soundlessly from her muzzle. That was only right, after all. She'd sought punishment for the last offense, and now she welcomed it for this one. The consequences for her people would be dire enough, after all.

Dire, yes... but necessary. The tears stopped as she acknowledged this reality. Yes, they would be necessary; Celestia would hardly even consider her current plan if urgent necessity was not a factor. The harsh reality of the situation made it so. Her tears quickly dried as she accepted this, and before long her posture abandoned its depressed droopiness.

Of course it was necessary. What other options did she have, with that tempest brewing deep within? She only had so much strength, after all, and if she did not mollify what she could no longer hold back... No, there was nothing to gain from thinking about such a terrible possibility. She could not allow that to happen; never, never, never-

But wouldn't it be wonderful? Wonderful, to simply let go, to allow that ever-present urge to swallow everything, to give in, to embrace the core of-

No! Celestia shook her head, banishing those dangerous temptations. They would be the true undoing of everything she'd worked so hard to preserve, and for the sake of her people, she could not allow that. She could never give in to that persuasion, not even as a last resort. The way forward had to be more subtle, more gentle. Yes, it would still... still result in unsavory limitations, but it was preferable to the alternative. Anything was preferable to that horrible, terrifying, wondrous alternative... She shook herself again, crossing to her desk in a final act of resolve. Action was the answer now; Celestia knew what had to be done, and all that was left was to do it quickly, before temptation and pain drove her to those darker means. It would save her, in the end. It would save her from this mounting pain, and in saving her, it would save her ponies.

With that goal firmly guiding her, she levitated a quill and a length of scroll and began her work. She wrote and wrote, pausing now and again to look at a large map of Equestria for confirmation in her decrees. She wrote to Appleloosa, to Manehatten, to Cloudsdale. She wrote to Fillydelphia and Trottingham. She wrote to so many others, and finally, she wrote to Ponyville.

When she'd finished, she gathered up the parchment and began the journey to one of the castle's many offices, each of which housed a magic fire specifically made to send mail all across Equestria. Any other time, she would have done the task herself, but there were so many rolls, and between the late night and the ever-present turmoil, Celestia was nearly exhausted. Thus she carried the scrolls down the hallway, hooves clicking gently against the pristine marble floor. It was the only sound to grace the halls, for she was quite alone in the flickering light of the torches. The castle staff were still asleep, a couple of hours away from waking up to start on their daily chores.

Her solitude comforted her. Company was the last thing she needed now. The effort to keep walking forward in her exhaustion was tremendous enough; adding to that the effort of maintaining her front would have been too much. As it was, she walked slowly, head drooping and eyes sliding half shut. That was fine. Perfectly fine. In a few minutes, she would send her new instructions, and then she would raise her beautiful sun. Then... then some excuse would allow her sleep, and when she woke up, everything would be perfect again. More perfect, even. When she woke up, her ponies would have enforced all that she'd written, and everything would be better than perfect. She'd go to her balcony and gaze upon such splendid new order that the pain, the memories, the evil temptations would all fall back to nothing where they belonged, and all would be well.

She would be saved. They would be saved. The world, her beloved Equestria, would be saved.

Celestia smiled at the faint warmth her thoughts provided. Yes, all would be fine. All she had to do was open this door, throw these scrolls into the emerald fire dancing in the hearth, and-

No. No, no, Luna, not now. Please, by the sun and the moon, not now. Leave. Please, please leave. Please, dearest heart, leave now before...

Luna did not leave. Her hoofsteps grew louder and louder until she was beside her sister. Celestia could feel her gaze, knew precisely what she was thinking, for though she'd straightened up the moment she'd heard Luna, there was no way the latter could have missed the sight of her weakened state. It was only a matter of time before...

"Celestia! Thou hast risen already? There are two hours yet until the sun must rise, and tho- you look terrible! Did you sleep at all?"

Her sister's exclamations should have been funny. Her speech corrections should have brought a smile to Celestia's face. Her concern should have been touching. Instead, all she could hear were the minute imperfections in each syllable, the changes in tone, the natural variations in volume and lilt. All she could hear were the inconsistencies, the vile inconsistencies that demanded repair, fixing, erasing. They had to be destroyed. Ugly, disgusting, abhorrent things, they had to be destroyed, and then everything would be all right. Then she could fix the coat, make sure that shifting shimmer was dealt with. She could ensure that each hoof was exactly trimmed. She could make it all one color, one single color, and then-

She wanted to whimper, so monumental was the effort to pull away, but Luna was watching closely, worry obvious in her eyes. Celestia did the one thing she could do.

Celestia smiled. Powerful, enduring, desperate mare that she was, she smiled gently at her sister and shook her head with a grace miraculous in how it cloaked what trembled within.

"I'm afraid I did not have the chance. All of the recent councils and meetings have put me terribly behind schedule, and I simply had to write up these new laws. The Summer Sun Celebration is only a few months away, and it would be unfair to expect ponies to adjust to legal changes while also preparing for the festival. It was best that I finished as soon as possible, to give everypony enough time."

The pair reached the office just as she finished her false explanation, and she slipped into the room without waiting for a dissenting opinion. She was almost there; if she could just reach the fire...

"I... I suppose that does make sense. I will admit that I am not yet accustomed to current governmental proceedings. And I do wish thou wouldst not task thyself... ahem... yourself so heavily."

She laughed, and while it sounded strained and faltering to her own ears, it seemed to satisfy Luna, for her sister returned her smile. The fragile seedling that was hope dared peek out amongst her stony thoughts of despair. She was almost at the hearth; just a few more steps, and she could rest. Just a few more steps, and she could reap the rewards of relief and peace tomorrow. Just a few more...

"Would it be possible for me to read them, Celly? Before you send them? I have been studying modern regulations quite extensively, and I should like to put it to use. If time permits, of course. I understand if you are fatigued."

She did; it only took her ten minutes or so to read through the pile of parchment. Celestia spent those ten minutes discreetly training her eyes onto the blank white wall beyond the desk. The clean, uniform, comforting wall. It was all she could think of to save herself at that point, and her concentration was such that she barely heard her sister speak again. She started slightly at her voice, covering it with a shuffle of her hooves.

"I... I am afraid I have yet to fully comprehend these modern policies." Luna's regal face took on a grimace of confusion as she turned away from the scrolls. "They seem..."

Her throat felt raw and hot, but the laugh that came from it was as sweet as ever.

"I assure you, Luna, they will make sense once they have been properly enforced. Though, if you like, I'll explain their mechanics once..." she yawned softly, "...once I've slept. You were right; I am quite tired. Would you terribly mind presiding over Court for me today?"

Luna shook her head, and Celestia nodded her thanks. She began to move the scrolls into the fire; after watching for a moment, Luna joined her. Together, they levitated the scrolls into the emerald flames; Celestia's heart pounded as they licked at the parchment, incinerating it into transit.

Done. It was done, and no one would be the wiser. Oh, she'd have to concoct some logic for Luna later, but that would be a monumental simplicity once she'd slept. By the time she'd have to do that, it would all be fixed, and a few minutes of serene observation would silence the din in her head. It would all be gloriously easy after that.

Perfect. Magnificent. By the grace of the sun, she was saved. They were all saved. They had to be saved. By all the love in her heart, please let it be so...

"Goodness; it nears dawn already. I am sorry to have kept you. Please; I can raise the sun today, if you wish..."

"Oh, that's quite all right. I can still manage that." Another smile, pulled from oblivion. "If you'll excuse me, I do believe I shall go manage it now, if you would please lower your lovely moon."

With those serene words, the sisters parted to do their sacred work, and a few minutes later, the day began.

Dawn's first light came at exactly seven in the morning, the sun's golden rays reaching over the Equestrian horizon to coax ponies from their beds. Twilight Sparkle fought that natural alarm, turning away from the light shining through her window and unconsciously pulling her blanket over her head. Spike watched this with his claws on his mouth, suppressing a giggle at seeing his "older sister" do such a childishly cute thing. It was rather unlike her; normally, she was awake before the first rays of light touched her eyelids, not hiding from them after the fact.

He indulged in a few more stifled giggles before composing himself and reaching out to wake her. His claw was nearly at her shoulder when he stopped, suddenly struck by recent memories of her difficult nights and stressful days. It had been some time since he'd seen Twilight sleep so soundly, and as he watched her, his intent to wake her faded. She needed the sleep, after all, and what benefit was there to waking her from the first good slumber she'd had in days? He made up his mind with a contented sigh, finally deciding to let her lie. With a fond glance at her curled up form, he tiptoed to the staircase and made his way down from the loft to start on breakfast.

The sun had climbed high above the horizon when Twilight finally awoke. It took her a few moments to realize the fact, so deep was the sleep she had to pull herself from, but the realization came with a customary yelp.

"Oh my gosh, I overslept! Princess Celestia; Discord; my letter! Oh, no, no, no... Spike! Spike, where are you!"

The panic set in with alarming speed, and she nearly fell out of her bed as she yelled for her dragon, righting herself haphazardly and racing down the loft ladder. A thousand reprimands flitted amongst her frazzled thoughts as she reached the library's main room. How could she oversleep when she had such important matters to attend to? How could she, when she'd already delayed by not acting last night? And where...

In her distress, the bizarre notion that Discord, somehow freed by her inaction, had kidnapped her little assistant flared with terrifying brilliance in her mind, and she let out a whimper as she... slipped on a stray sheet of paper.

The fall was enough to break her disastrous train of thought, and she moaned from her position on the floor as the paper settled innocently down right in front of her muzzle. She immediately noticed the familiar penmanship on it, and her automatic reaction was to read it.

I know you haven't been getting much sleep lately, so I decided to let you sleep in. Please don't be mad! It's just that I've been a little worried... okay, a lot worried about how stressed you've been, what with the whole princess thing, so I thought you could use a few more hours.

Breakfast is on the table. I've gone out to do some shopping. I should be back around lunchtime.

PS: Please please please don't be mad! I promise to work extra hard to make up for any lost study time!

By the time she reached the end of the letter, just about all of her anxiety had dissipated. She read through it again, a gentle smile softening her face as she allowed the affection she felt to settle warmly within.

"Oh, Spike..." she sighed, folding up the parchment and placing it on the table, right next to the prettily arranged hay and eggs she'd missed in her mid-morning flailings. The sight of the perfectly prepared breakfast was the final nail in the coffin of her little panic attack, and she sat down at the table with a heavy breath of relief. Melodious bird song floated in through an open window, another herald of spring, and Twilight allowed herself to spend a few minutes listening to what her studious mind identified as the territorial call of the meadowlark. It helped ground her even more, for it was just another sign that Discord was indeed still imprisoned; normal bird song would hardly be the audio of choice if the draconequus was gallivanting across Ponyville again.

Slowly, the eggs and hay disappeared from the plate, washed down with a cool glass of milk. A part of her kept trying to break the new calm, insisting that she was being foalish by taking her day so slowly, but Twilight quelled it swiftly. The lovely day outside her window lay testament to Discord's continued imprisonment, and she had had her fill of rushing into things. What had happened the last time she hadn't thought matters through? Well... the Smartypants incident, actually, and she still flinched at that memory, but before that? She'd led her friends into that treacherous labyrinth for no good reason! A travesty, it had been, all because Discord had counted on her failing to work things out slowly, instead allowing future peril to prod her to reckless action that ultimately made the situation worse.

Not this time. This time, she would think things through. There would be no mistakes, not regarding Discord, and especially not regarding the princess. These matters were far too important to complicate with her own emotional turmoil. Logic had to prevail, and she, Twilight Sparkle, would ensure that it did so. Rationality would rule her mind, and she would gather her fellow Elements of Harmony, properly explain recent happenings, and together, they would form an unstoppable force that would defeat Discord once and for all.

These affirmations ignited a spark of righteous confidence in Twilight's heart, and, breakfast finished, she approached the door with head held high and chest impressively puffed out: the picture of a mare ready to take on the world.

"That's right! No more indecision. No more confusion! I am going to find the girls, tell them Discord's back, and we are going to-"

She was cut off by what could only be adequately described as a surprise door to the face. Suddenly crushed between her front door and the wall, she could barely hear voices calling her name.

"Twilight! Twilight, you in here?" Rapid wing beats quickly identified one of the invaders as Rainbow Dash.

"Twi! Consarn it, where is that girl? Twilight!" The southern drawl meant Applejack.

The sound of hoofsteps told her that Rainbow Dash and Applejack had left the doorway to mill about the library's foyer. She tried to answer their calls, only to find that talking with one's muzzle crushed between a wall and a door was not particularly effective. With a moan, she pulled herself free, spinning around dizzily as the door swung shut behind her. In the few seconds it took for her vision to show more than a messy blue-orange blur, her two friends were upon her.

With both Applejack and Rainbow Dash leaning in, she barely had any room to breathe. With a strangled yelp, Twilight tried to back away from her agitated friends, only to end up on her rump as grace failed her. She looked up at the two mares with undisguised confusion.

"What in the world are you two talking about? I just got up a little while ago," she managed as the room finally stopped spinning. "Spike let me sleep in, and I've just finished breakfast. I was about to go find you, actually. There's something I have to tell all of-"

"Never mind that now, sugarcube!" Applejack interrupted. "There's a huge meeting being held in the town square. We've gotta go, pronto!"

"Yeah! Come on; the whole town's already gathered, and everypony's gonna start without us." Rainbow Dash fluttered around to her backside, grabbing her tail between her teeth and hauling the bemused Twilight Sparkle to her hooves. Both mares wasted no time in shoving her out the door, ignoring Twilight's stammered protests as she tried to get some shred of information out of them.

"There ain't no time to explain, Twi. We have to get to the town square now; Mayor Mare seemed really worked up about whatever she had to tell us. Come on now!"

Applejack broke into a hasty trot, and Twilight, still reeling from her run-in with wood and stone, admitted temporary defeat as she struggled to keep up. Rainbow Dash, after throwing the two grounded ponies a backwards glance, had already flown ahead. Twilight could just make out her raspy voice encouraging them to "move those hooves." Applejack swiftly obliged, breaking into an easy canter.

With a final effort, Twilight matched her pace to Applejack's, and the two mares cantered side by side down Ponyville's cobbled streets. With her legs obeying her at last, Twilight was able to glance around. The sight of deserted streets and abandoned shops was a stark contrast to the promise of a lovely spring day the morning's meadowlark had given, and she felt a queasy unease settle in her gut. Gone was the confidence of just a few minutes ago, and Twilight's hope for her plan quickly followed when she spied the huge crowd of ponies coming into view ahead of them. She swallowed nervously.

It really was the whole town. Between the empty streets they'd passed and the deafening chatter of over a hundred ponies milling anxiously about, there was no doubt in her mind that everypony who could be there was there. The realization did far more to deepen Twilight's anxiety than her friends' breakneck pace had, for when were Applejack and Rainbow Dash not rushing off to some job or event? Clearly this was not some silly overreaction on their part; there was something very much amiss, and as Twilight followed Applejack through the crowd, her mind sank back into the turbid black waters of doubt and worry.

She'd made a terrible mistake, and here was the proof. Like a stupid, naïve filly, she'd underestimated the enemy again, and now some awful emergency had befallen her home. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Her legs began to tremble with the weight of growing guilt, and for a moment she lost sight of Applejack as her steps faltered. Her fault. Her fault again, because it had been her fault last time, too. Oh, yes: Twilight Sparkle, the brilliant protégé whose inability to separate logic and blind desperation had nearly doomed Equestria to checkered grass and dancing buffalo. Brilliant, and now it was happening again. Any second now, Discord was going to swoop down on all of her friends and neighbors, all because she'd been unable to make a decision that should have been simple. What did it matter that every little detail hadn't been in place? She should have seen the big picture, the important picture, instead of needing every worthless bit of information at her hooves. One would think that a mare who prided herself on being a good student would have actually learned that lesson! Foalish again, and now...

Twilight was swiftly nearing the threshold of another spectacular breakdown when Pinkie Pie's voice pierced her self-blame. Ears pricking up instinctively, she glanced around for the source and found her entire group of friends standing near the front of the crowd. All five faces were trained on her as Pinkie called again, adding an energetic bounce-and-wave for good measure.

While there were multiple things Pinkie's bubbly voice was good for, today's example happened to be knocking some much-needed sense into Twilight's head. The sound of it pulled her back into the present, and when she'd shaken off much of her negativity, she looked around again.

Fact: there was a large crowd of ponies waiting for a very important announcement. Fact: this announcement was likely not very positive, considering the nervous energy permeating the air. Fact: there was probably adequate cause to be fairly concerned. Twilight acknowledged all of these things, but as she took in the scene, she could not acknowledge the dread idea that Discord was the cause. The sky was still blue, the clouds still a submissive cotton-white. Birds flit about right side up, and all buildings remained firmly anchored to their foundations. The eyesore of checkered grass was nowhere to offend. Twilight chewed her lip as she reconfirmed all of these observations, breathing a cautious sigh of relief when none came up disputed. No, everything was still in its proper place.

Unless Discord had suddenly grown a whole new brain dedicated exclusively to moderation and subtlety, whatever the source of this commotion, it was not his doing. Her second sigh of relief came much more freely.

A few more steps closed the distance. Twilight stopped amidst her five closest friends, looking from one drawn face to the next. All looked apprehensive, though perhaps Pinkie categorized as more curious than anything else. Fluttershy was easily the most distressed, evidence of the fact plain in the weak quiver in her flanks, and she spoke in a voice even softer than usual.

"We're so glad you're here, Twilight. We were hoping that maybe... well, that maybe you'd know more about what was going on."

What in Equestria could that mean? Twilight ignored a much more uncomfortable brand of confusion that statement brought and shook her head.

"I'm afraid not, Fluttershy. Rainbow and Applejack caught me right at the end of breakfast. I slept late, so I didn't even know there was a meeting until they came and got me. What is all of this about?"

"You mean you really don't know?" Rarity's faint accent made her words sound more incredulous than she likely meant them to be. "Why, everyone's been in an absolute uproar since the bugle sounded at sunrise! I don't think anyone but Mayor Mare truly knows what this meeting is about, but the rumors..." Her voice trailed off, and Twilight's ears swiveled forward earnestly. They caught nothing; whatever the last bit of information was, Rarity found it too disturbing to voice. Twilight found it increasingly difficult to hide her unease at the sight of her fellow unicorn's fidgeting.

Applejack, ever the indomitable pony, spoke up quickly. "The rumors," she continued, "are why we were so set on findin' you in the first place, sugarcube. There's talk that... that this here meeting's got something to do with Princess Celestia herself."

The princess... her princess, her mentor... the one who'd already been acting so strangely... Twilight Sparkle struggled to maintain some semblance of calm, but as Applejack's words settled, it became increasingly difficult. The steady confidence she'd felt this morning had been slowly chipping away the moment her friends had come banging on her door, and this new information took off a sizable chunk of what remained. Too many uncomfortable thoughts began to gather like so many ominous storm clouds: thoughts of blame, guilt, and frigid dread. She tried to push them aside, tried to keep her breath and pulse from quickening. Objectivity and intelligence were needed for such an emergency as this, not mounting panic; she knew this inherently. For the most part, she succeeded, but she could feel the blood drain from her face all the same.

Her friends immediately noticed her sudden pallor, and while Pinkie appointed herself to the task of nuzzling, Rarity quickly tried to undo the damage a now-sheepish Applejack had unwittingly wrought.

"Darling, please! It is just a rumor. A rumor! Here, sit down; you look like you're going to faint. Give her some room, girls, come now. I'm sure the princess is perfectly fine, and this is just a... a..."

"Maybe they're going to announce a party! Maybe it's the princess' birthday, and everyone's invited to a big surprise party, and every city and teeny little town is being told separately so that we don't all ruin the surprise!" Pinkie had switched from nuzzling to bouncing, and it was the impact of her hoof against Twilight's rump that brought her out of her increasingly dark reverie. She looked back at her friends with the despondent air of a lost foal, ready and desperate to cling to any hint of rescue.

"Pinkie Pie, there's no way the mayor called an emergency meeting for a party."

"A-hem!" A stern look from Applejack quickly ended the budding argument. Pinkie settled on her haunches with a pout, and Rainbow looked properly, if reluctantly, chagrined. Situation diffused, she turned back to Twilight with the same reassuring smile she'd offered Fluttershy at the dragon's lair. "Whatever it is, I doubt it's worth gettin' your mane in a tangle over. I'm sure if there was anything wrong with the princess, you'd know about it. So quit your frettin', and let's all wait 'n hear what the mayor has to say. All right?"

Ever honest, Applejack did nothing to hide the concern that fueled her reassurances, and her earnest smile inspired a stab of guilt; Twilight was suddenly aware of how negatively her behavior was affecting her friends, all of whom already had their own trepidations about the meeting. The wave of new guilt overtook the old, and Twilight willed herself to smile back.

"You... you're right, Applejack." A lie, blatant in its smoothness. She knew, knew, that there was something the princess was keeping from her, and it gnawed at her resolve with unrelenting ferocity. Still, she shared her smile with the rest of the circle, and they visibly relaxed. "You're all right. There's no sense in panicking when we don't know anything yet."

"Precisely," Rarity emphasized the word with a delicate stomp of a hoof, "so let's all accept whatever news is to be had with calm dignity."

The faint tremor still marring Fluttershy's voice was the final push Twilight needed, and she mustered up a brave grin for her sake.

"That's right. I'm sure I was overreacting. I'm sure everyone," she indicated the surrounding crowd with the sweep of a hoof, "is overreacting, and everything will be perfectly clear in a few minutes!"

She wished she had the peace of mind to be impressed with her own performance, for the juxtaposition of her true feelings and the charade she'd just created was something of a marvel. Inside, guilt, fear, and a myriad nameless emotions twisted and churned to the point of nausea. Outside, she stood calm and ready, mask firmly in place to placate the fears of those around her. Both sides, however, stood at complete attention, for while she could not say she felt any sort of confidence regarding what was in store, she certainly wanted to hear it. From the growing noise of shuffling and mumbling, it was clear the rest of the town held the same sentiment.

Their wait came to an abrupt end when Mayor Mare, looking like she was attempting to accomplish Twilight's illusion but managing it rather poorly, stepped up to the podium. Immediately, the buzz of the crowd rose to a din that she struggled to speak over.

"Good morning, every- Everypony, please! Calm down. I cannot... fillies and gentlecolts, if you would-"

"Quiet!" The shrill command brought instant obedience, and even the mayor joined the stunned silence for a few seconds before shakily thanking a beaming Pinkie Pie. "No problemo!" Pinkie replied with a happy salute and settled back down between a speechless Rainbow Dash and Twilight.

"Good morning everypony. Before we begin, I'd like to allay any fears that some of you may have regarding the sudden calling of this town meeting. I understand that hearing the bugle this morning was worrisome for many of you, and while we do sometimes use the bugle in times of emergency, rest assured that today is not such a time."

A new chorus drowned out her voice, one was of sighs and nervous titters of relief instead of anxious chatter. She allowed it to continue, waiting until everypony had settled into a much more comfortable silence before pressing on.

"I'd like to dispel all rumors of invading timberwolves, ursas, manticores, and dragons-"

"Hey!" Though Twilight could not see him, she heard Spike's indignant voice somewhere behind her.

"Ahem... adult dragons. All rumors regarding droughts, famines, plagues, and devastating meteor strikes are likewise untrue."

More relieved whispers from the crowd. All around her, ponies dropped tense expressions for open curiosity as the promised lack of danger eased their fears. Her friends all looked keenly interested now, even Fluttershy relaxing next to her. Twilight strained to match their newly eager expressions, fervently trying to ignore the fact that the one rumor she was actually concerned about had not been revealed false.

Twilight angled her ears as far forward as she could, willing the mayor's words to come faster.

Gasps of renewed shock sounded all around her, but Twilight kept her lips pressed tightly shut. She could not trust herself to join in her fellow ponies' show of surprise, for she feared that she'd blaze right past "normal confusion" and land in the vicinity of "wild hysteria." Again that chasm of dark despair yawned beneath her thudding heart, and it took renewed will to keep from revealing as much to her friends.

Somewhat true. What in all of Equestria did that mean? Did that mean that she was ill, but only a little ill? Did it mean that she'd been hurt, but only slightly? Did it mean that somepony had kidnapped her, but promised a safe return for a king's ransom in bits? A swarm of possibilities, each more terrible than the last, buzzed in her mind as Twilight struggled to control breaths wheezing from a tightening chest.

Thankfully, Mayor Mare continued before she could lose the battle with her fear.

"Very early this morning, an urgent correspondence arrived from Canterlot, directly from the princess herself. The correspondence consisted of a number of scrolls, each of which detailed new laws that the princess requested be immediately enforced in Ponyville."

Fear gave way to honest confusion, and the loss of its driving energy left Twilight drained. She took a few deep breaths to steady herself before indulging in the rush of curiosity the mayor's announcement brought.

There was no doubt that, while apparently not the great catastrophe everypony had been dreading, the news was high irregular. Most laws governing daily life in Equestria were not normally handed down directly from the princess. They came, rather, from the hoof-ful of council-ponies elected by the various towns and cities to serve in Canterlot. Those ponies, while certainly enjoying the gentle influence of Princess Celestia in their decision-making, were nevertheless wholly responsible for the laws that bound Equestria's citizens. The only time the government strayed from this more representative process was... Twilight felt the fur running along her spine bristle faintly. It only strayed when the laws were important enough, needed enough, for Princess Celestia to supersede the elected council and pass them herself. It rarely happened nowadays, for there were hardly dangers and emergencies in Equestria so great that they demanded such heavy action... so why did the mayor have so many scrolls spread out over the podium?

Twilight watched as Mayor Mare unrolled even more scrolls, stacking them in a pile that kept growing until she had to peek out from behind it to address her audience. Focusing on her words had become difficult again; the more Twilight considered this unexpected development, the more disturbed she became, even as her friends and neighbors seemed to remain merely bemused.

"I shall now read out the new laws." She cleared her throat, picked up the first scroll, and announced Princess Celestia's first new edict in an appropriately commanding voice.

"It is hereby established by Princess Celestia that all pegasi will strive to maintain cloud cover at an altitude no greater than fifteen hundred feet and no less than fourteen hundred feet."

"What? That's ridiculous! You can't keep all clouds at that altitude, that's-"

The mayor spared her only a withering side glance, opting to drown out her indignant voice with a louder reading of a second law.

"As other varieties have been deemed unfit, all apples grown in Ponyville must be of the Red Delicious variety."

This time the protest came from Applejack. As the next law was read, another pony called out his dissent, then another, and another. The more laws she read, the louder Mayor Mare had to speak in order to be heard over the complaints of her townsponies, until she finally knocked a hoof against the podium for quiet. The crowd reduced their din to unhappy mumblings, and the list continued.

Twilight stopped registering the new laws after the fifth or sixth. Instead, her mind returned inwards, straining and struggling to make some sort of sense of what she was hearing. The problem was that she could not find any. Each law, even after examination by her logic and reasoning, remained inscrutable, its purpose eluding her. She focused on the mayor's words again, identifying the next law with hope for something more understandable.

Why? It made no sense: that river was not near any croplands. What erosion had occurred was far upstream, not even particularly near the town. It would do no harm; Twilight was sure of that. She'd written a detailed report on the river's status just a month ago. What was the purpose of ordering a large number of earth ponies to ensure that that flow went unaltered? Why prevent such a harmless, natural process? Why, why, why?

Twilight groaned as the beginnings of a headache further muddied her thoughts. Around her, everypony's voices rose up again, no longer heeding any command for quiet once the mayor's announcements had petered out. Questions rang out among the crowd, questions echoing Twilight's own skepticism and confusion. She heard Roseluck challenge a new law governing flower shape. Another voice questioned the logic behind new building regulations. Another, and another, and another sounded in protest born only of a complete lack of reason for what they'd all just heard. Mayor Mare, for her part, was doing her best to come up with answers for the ponies, but in the end, she had to concede to the fact that she, too, had little to no idea as to what the princess meant by all these new regulations. Her parting words were almost an apology.

"Please, everypony. I realize that this is a great deal to handle all at once, but Princess Celestia has elevated these new laws to the highest level of importance. I ask that everpony please put forth their best effort for the next few days. I'm certain that we will receive more information soon." With that, she returned to the Town Hall, and who could blame her? What else could she have possibly said in such a situation, as ignorant of the cause as her town's citizens? Twilight frowned at the knowledge that they really were being asked to work blindly. Emergency regulations, too. Why emergency? Why would such trivial matters justify blowing the bugle so early in the morning and driving everyone into a panic?

She grit her teeth in frustration, nearly ready to vent via angry snarl when Applejack beat her to it. With a loud snort, the cowpony kicked a pebble in the direction of the podium..

"Well, shoot! That didn't answer nothin', now did it? What in the name of Equestria does the princess mean by sending us all those nitpicky little rules?"

"Beats me!" Rainbow joined in, "But can you believe it? She wants us to keep the clouds at the same level. The same level. Do you have any idea how much work that's gonna be? Do you know how boring it's gonna be? Gah!" She sat down in a huff, angry pout firmly in place.

"Yeah! And with all this extra work, we're never going to have any time left to party!" Pinkie Pie shared her friends' unhappiness, if not quite their unease.

Twilight watched as her friends, similar to most of the ponies remaining in the square, proceeded to rant amongst themselves. A part of her wanted to join them, instinctive rebelling against these strange restrictions, but a greater part was too busy trying to integrate new information with the old. Suddenly, Princess Celestia's odd behavior was no longer something that affected only their relationship. This new development, these draconian new rules and their unorthodox method of delivery, could not have been a coincidence; the whole situation was just too bizarre. It had to somehow connect to the princess' recent aloofness. Twilight just had to figure out how, and the desire to do so overruled her anger for the moment. Thus, while her friends argued, and discussed, and commiserated, Twilight desperately tried to connect the few dots she could see.

What could today's meeting have to do with the princess' recent preoccupation? Did it have anything to do with it? The princess had been "off" ever since the Discord incident, and these laws were being sent out quite some time after it. Was there a connection at all? No, but there had to be! It was irregular enough for the princess to act strangely in even just one way, let alone two at once. It could not be a coincidence. Or could it? And then... then there was Discord. Was he somehow connected to today's events? To Twilight's prior troubles? She'd been so certain he'd been behind the princess' aberrant behavior, but he'd said otherwise. What did that matter, though? He was a liar, wasn't he?

Regarding today, at least... these laws did not seem like something he'd think up. They seemed quite the opposite, and that realization threw what little confidence Twilight had in her reasoning right out the proverbial window. If Discord had interfered with the princess, altered her somehow, then wouldn't she be acting more... well, chaotic? If today and the past weeks were related, and some deep intuition told Twilight that they were, then Discord being the cause was looking less and less likely.

Twilight growled, aggravated; instead of giving her a clearer picture, the meeting and its conclusion had dragged her back to square one. What a load of-

"Eh?" Twilight looked up, pulled from her reverie by an exclamation so bright and cheerful, it felt out of place in the troubled atmosphere, or... it would have, if the atmosphere had still been troubled.

Twilight stood frozen in bafflement, eyes wide and mouth comically slack at the sight of what had occurred in the time she'd devoted to failed reasoning. All around her, ponies that had, just minutes before, been beside themselves with distress, ire, and worry were smiling and laughing. She watched as groups and singles trotted away from the square, chatting amiably and behaving as if they'd somehow forgotten about the incomprehensible events that had just happened. Her eyes darted to this pony, then to that one, then to another, frantic to find some trace of what had just been, but there simply was none. Instead, an air of contentment reigned supreme. Above her, a pair of pegasi were even beginning their new work, bucking some clouds suddenly deemed "low-flying" out of the sky.

The compounded shock and stress were almost too much for the poor filly, and she was quite tempted to perform a Rarity-esque swoon; really, her head was spinning and heart pounding so badly, it hardly would have been much of a performance at all.

Twilight looked up to see Fluttershy taking off, and the total serenity embodied in her stance, a complete shift from the trembling creature present only moments before, finally broke her self-control. The result was a very shrill, very loud, very un-Twilight-like screech.

Silence, save for the thud of a startled Fluttershy landing in a heap on the cobblestones. Everyone, even some ponies a good ways off from their little gathering, was gaping at her as her sides heaved with the effort of staving off another outburst. Rarity glanced at Pinkie; Applejack did little more than blink. Rainbow Dash busied herself with helping Fluttershy to her hooves.

"I... you..." she ventured, but words failed her as her mind struggled to come up with some rationale for what she was seeing. The fact that they were all staring at her as if she had just lost her mind made it that much more difficult.

"What do you mean, what's wrong with us? What's wrong with you?" was Rainbow Dash's angry response. Having helped Fluttershy up, she flared her wings out at Twilight in growing anger. "What's the big idea, yelling like that?"

Confusion may have dulled Twilight's sensibilities, but not to the point that she could not recognize Rainbow preparing for a verbal showdown. She wisely reigned herself in, once again willing calm.

"Just what, sugarcube?" Applejack kept her voice carefully even, soothing both pegasus and unicorn as she stepped up to them.

"Just... aren't you mad anymore?" She tried and failed to keep incredulity out of her voice, and it made her sound petulant. Fortunately, Applejack had the infinite pony sense to remain gentle, steering clear of provocation. Rarity and Fluttershy joined in.

"Um... yes, that would be nice. Quietly." Fluttershy gave a self-conscious shake of her wings as she joined the circle of fillies surrounding an increasingly put-out Twilight Sparkle.

"The... the new laws. Weren't you... weren't... wasn't everypony just upset about them? Why..." The words came in halting bursts as she tried to fight confusion and frustration in order to get some sort of point across.

Their reaction only made it worse. She could have taken some giggling at another one of her breakdowns. She could have understood that, welcomed it, even, as a hallmark of some sort of normalcy. Instead, all she received were looks of bemusement that matched her own.

"Well... well shoot, Twi," Applejack finally broke the silence, "I guess we were, but you can't stay upset about things like that forever, you know?"

"Yeah!" Pinkie Pie added with a little hop that turned into a steady bounce as she worked off the nervous energy she wasn't quite used to experiencing. "You can't stay mad forever; that's waaaaay too long."

"Exactly! Besides, whatever the princess wants us to do has to be for the best."

"Precisely. Twilight, you know better than all of us that Princess Celestia only wishes us the most infinite of happiness. She must have very good reasons for all of those new laws."

Twilight looked from face to face, but each one was the same: a filly totally convinced that, whatever strangeness surrounded this morning's events, there could be nothing but a positive outcome if Princess Celestia's new edicts were followed. All doubt, all curiosity, all discerning skepticism had simply dissolved, leaving behind complete complacency. She could not believe it. She would not believe it.

There was something wrong here! These laws, their passing... there was no way any sensible pony would just shrug that off, not in a thousand years, yet here they were: five perfectly rational, intelligent, normal fillies throwing any sort of logical thought to the wind and blindly accepting new rules that essentially amounted to madness. It was... it was too much.

"But... but these laws. They're... they're crazy. Can't you all see that? They're completely nuts!." An attempt at calm speech failed when the sight of their worried, yet still perfectly accepting faces became too much to bear. Twilight, the stress of too many unexplained events weighing heavily on an already anxiety-prone pony, felt tears begin to pool in her eyes.

Their smiles faded, but instead of expressions of epiphany, sorrow and sympathy invaded their faces.

"Aw, shoot. This is another one of those times, isn't it?" Applejack reached out and put a gentle hoof on her shoulder. Twilight wanted to shrug it off, wanted to yell at her friend for treating her like she was the one acting strangely, but strength simply failed her. She remained mute. Applejack seemed to falter, glancing back at the other ponies for some support.

"You're gonna crack up on us again, ar-... uh..." Rainbow Dash loudly offered her brand of "sympathy" before a glare from Rarity reduced her to an awkward mumble. Pegasus curbed, said unicorn gave Twilight a warm smile.

"It's stress, dear, isn't it? Oh, you don't have to deny it; I know all about such things, and it's nothing to be ashamed of! Why, it's quite unhealthy to keep it all bottled up, as you well... ahem... well know."

"We know you haven't been sleeping well lately. That... must have something to do with it, right?" Fluttershy paired her words with a shy nuzzle, moving to stand close beside the trembling Twilight.

"That's right! And that cannot be a good combination. Why, I'm sure after a few days rest, you'll be good as new!"

"Rarity's right, sugarcube. I'm sure that when you've had a few days to yourself, everything'll make perfect sense. And if it doesn't, why, you can always write the princess! I bet she'd be happy to help you out."

"You know you can always count on us. No matter what, we'll try to help you with whatever's bothering you, even if we don't completely understand it."

All around her, her friends' affirmations of loyalty, compassion, and loving willingness rang bright and true. As Twilight looked from one face to the next, all she could see was an honest desire to right whatever had gone wrong. Still, try as she might, she could not shake the notion of inherent wrongness, and so, giving a heavy, shuddering sigh, she did the only thing she could think to do.

Lifting her head, she fixed the warmest smile she could muster on her pale face and granted it to each and every one of them.

"You girls are right. I... I have been studying a lot lately, and I guess I haven't been getting as much sleep as I should." Another sigh. A deep breath. "And of course the princess wouldn't do anything without our best interests in mind. I think... I'm sure all of this will make more sense in a few days."

"I can bring some tea over later, if you like." Twilight felt the warmth of Fluttershy's wing draping over her back in a pegasus-brand hug. "Or some soup, or-"

"It's fine, Fluttershy. Really. I'll be fine. A nap sounds like a good idea and then..."

"If you wake up and still don't feel well, you come right on over to my boutique. You promise me now!" Rarity nudged her other side.

"Yes, okay. Pinkie promise. Really, I'll be okay. Thank you all, girls. I... I don't know what came over me, and... well, I'm just glad you're all my friends."

So ended their conversation, and with it, the last discussion about that morning's meeting. After a few more hugs, well wishes, and promises of visits in the very near future, Twilight left her friends to begin the duties Princess Celestia had outlined for them. Without a single further glance at the Ponyville citizens busily going about their new tasks, Twilight turned towards the library and trotted home.

Arriving at the library, Twilight Sparkle shut the door behind her. Immediately, a very confused Spike ran up to her, bursting with questions about everything from her whereabouts to her still-disheveled state.

"Never mind that, Spike," she barked in her authoritarian tone, calling the little dragon to attention, "just put on a pot of our strongest tea."

Spike ran off to do as told, and Twilight immediately busied herself with pulling every book on mental magic from the shelves. Soon, she was surrounded by piles and stacks of thick tomes. She looked at the mess she was about to dive into, and for a moment, just the slightest moment, an inner voice asked her if maybe it was all for naught. Perhaps, just perhaps, she really was too stressed, and whatever strangeness she saw in the new laws was just a figment crafted by overwork and worry. For that moment, Twilight felt the pull of acceptance, something so enticing with its whispered promise of contentment that she felt herself reach towards it, ready to-

No. That moment vanished at the beckoning of another feeling, a violent twist of notion that told her that she was right, they were wrong, and that something was deeply, darkly wrong in her world. She latched onto that notion as if it were a lifeline, and the sense of finally finding the right path enveloped her. With a determined nod, she set to work.

By the time Spike returned with a mug of honeyed tea, Twilight had curled up on the library rug, feverishly delving deeper into subjects whose surface she had only skimmed the day before. Mental bonds; mind tricks; shielding; calling; dreamwork. She memorized everything she could find about both theory and practice, never wavering in focus even when Spike wished her hesitant goodnight. Hours passed, and her candles burned lower and lower, but Twilight persevered until she'd read the final passage in the final book. Finally, long after the sun had relinquished the sky to the moon and her myriad stars, she was ready.

There was an old woman, who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, she didn't know what to do. She gave them some broth, without any bread, then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.

Wait, now. What in Equestria was a shoe? Certainly it couldn't have been a horseshoe; those were decidedly solid. No hollow living space to be seen at all, sad to say. And what, for that matter, were chil-

He'd been good, hoping to give her greater reason to return. He'd held off on any more visions sent her way, aiming for a guided boost in her confidence, a lure back, and it had cost him. It had cost him dearly. Still, he'd only need hold out a little longer. Just a little bit more. It would only have to be a little bit more, because any second now, she'd be back. Any second, her voice would break through the stifling silence, and he'd have to be at his very best, for at that moment, the show would begin. The show. He had to be focused for the show. Had to, had to, had to. Maybe he could try counting again. Backwards. Forwards. Sideways, in base five. Maybe...

There was an old woman, who lived in a was it a pretty shoe what did it look like what was a shoe hey maybe maybe he could make something awesome and call it a shoe that would be great wouldn't it just great ever great yes maybe now now now-

Bah, not now; too many things to frolic with too many paths to trot too many wells to fall into and drown in too many too many too-

Answer... answer what? What wanted a... where wanted what... who... now... oh...

It was no greeting. His first mental words carried none of Twilight's defiant spirit; instead, they were more like the breathless gasp of a drowning thing. Probably because... well, they were, unfortunately enough. Immediately, he could feel a peering curiosity reach out and grabbed it like the life preserver it was. The energies latched onto it; they quailed just a touch. Just enough. The next words came in the smooth, wily voice of the manipulator. The proper voice. His voice.

Now was the moment that counted. Now was the time to gather up the last of his energy reserves, for though Twilight had not yet truly spoken, he already knew what she had returned for. There was only one thing to return for, and he was more than ready to give it to her. Already, he'd planned out how to start. He knew precisely what to do.

All that was left now was to endure this last moment of crumbling weakness. Once the deal was made, once the proverbial ball got rolling, it would all be fine. His trains of thought would stick to their own twisted rails, and everything would be fine. Just fine and dandy. All that was left was-

I know you know why I'm here, Discord, so let's skip the games. I'll make this clear right now: any wrong moves from you, and any and all deals are off. I'm here only on the condition that... will you stop laughing?

He couldn't. Between nerves, relief, and the utter hilarity inherent in a pony being so adorably pompous, he completely failed in containing howls of mental mirth. Not even a threat of abandonment stifled his guffaws, and why should it have? She was back, and they both knew she was back with a mission she'd already promised to complete.

Confirmation of that notion came through a few moments of impatient waiting until, finally, Discord could speak again.

Ah, my apologies, my dear. You are simply just the cutest little pony I have ever met. Do you have any idea what kind of compliment that is? I have met so many little ponies...

He snatched them all to appease the swarming chaos threatening coherency. It ebbed, and he celebrated private victory as he continued.

But yes; you've returned. And I agree: it is rather past the time for games. As I understand it, you and your princess are not faring particularly well, hmm?

A pause. Silence. Once again, his cunning had earned him a confirmation of knowledge he could use to further entice her. Excellent. With another point added to his mental scoreboard, he continued.

I thought not. Impossible to hide the sneer, but what did it matter? He knew he had her. So are you ready, my dear? Shall we seal the-

No! I'm not sealing any deals on your terms. I may need your... information, but I'm not about to let you get away with any more than absolutely necessary. Now, if you're serious about this, then here are my rules: first, we both have our rights to a barrier, and we don't break or pass those barriers. Ever. Second: no lies. You lie, and the deal is off. Third...

The answer came with no hesitation, and even through his amusement, he felt almost impressed by her resolve. Almost. Not quite, but almost.

If you refuse the rules, then I know that you don't really want what you say you want. And that means that you won't be bound by this deal at all, will you?

He chuckled. How wonderfully astute of you, Twilight Sparkle. Of course, I'd expect no less from Celestia's prize pupil. Now, please don't worry your little head over a bunch of silly rules. I am a draconequus of my word, after all.

It doesn't matter what rules you wish to establish as long as I receive at least two hours of normal conversation time with you per day.

She did well to hide her disbelief, but he knew she must be feeling it. The sheer simplicity of his request was ridiculous even to him, and he suppressed mental laughter with a fair amount of difficulty.

Acceptance. Agreement. He could almost taste them, and close behind them, just over the horizon, he could see freedom...

Twilight Sparkle, you can continue to quiz me on my willingness, or you can allow me to prove it to you. The deal stands thus: you may ask me whatever you wish about Princess Celestia, and I will answer you truthfully, to the best of my ability. In return, I request the pleasure of your conversational company for at least two hours a day. No less, though if you wish to bask in my charm for longer, that is, of course, perfectly all right.

In exchange for two hours of your day

Whatever you ask, I shall say

The princess' life you wish to see

Spend time here, and you shall know it through me

He could see her, in his unfocused mind's eye, see her pawing at the ground in her indecision. He could see the ambiguous tilt of her ears, the nervous twitch of her tail as she strained to examine every possible intricacy of what he'd offered. He could see her biting her lip as she came to her final decision.

And so he had her. Discord, bound in his torturous cell of a statue, so limited in ability, had succeeded in gaining the pawn he needed for his plan. Elation came immediately, a cascading wave of bubbling joy the likes of which he hadn't felt since... well, for a long time. Laughter came with it, laughter so raucous and wild that he could feel her recoil behind her barrier. What did it matter, though? Laughter, she expected. Laughter, crazy, insane, moronic laughter, was probably the one thing she'd always expect of him. She'd never suspect anything because of it.

Twilight Sparkle would never suspect that his frenetic mirth came from the knowledge that he finally had the precious metal needed to fashion his key to freedom. Now all that was left was to mold it, to mold her, and oh, how easy that would be! How magnificently easy, for the tools he had at his disposal, the memories, the knowledge... oh, it would be simple. A snap!

He'd be free in no time at all, and so Discord let himself laugh until he grew bored of it. That was... not very long at all, really, considering that boredom seemed to be something like an over-attached sibling to him. Anyway, with the initial step complete, he had to begin the real work. The sooner, the better. The sooner, the closer he was to reigning over Equestria again.

Twilight's voice, cautious after his display of almost vicious joy, interrupted his private gloating. He turned his attention back to her with an air of mischievous glee. What now, she asked. What now, indeed. Ha!

She felt his energy overwhelm her senses, and as Discord's cackles echoed in her mind, Twilight's Sparkle's world, both physical and mental, went black.

For All That Must Be

by cruelfeline

Chapter Four: In Which Twilight Makes Her Decision