//------------------------------// // Chapter Five - Food for Thought // Story: Gift of the Goddess // by Medievalman //------------------------------// The marbled hall of the palace echoed the sound of two sets of hoof-falls as Celestia and Twilight made their way to the royal kitchen. Celestia had a slight hop in her step as she walked, while Twilight trudged along with her head hung low. The hallway was eerily empty, devoid of the normal guardsponies that stood diligently at their posts. Instead, all that stood to witness her embarrassment were the abandoned spears of the guardsponies leaning casually against the walls. Twilight cracked a small smile and made a mental note to thank Luna for her foresight. A nice breakfast where nopony would be around to see them like this. Celestia halted in front of a plaque labeled “Kitchen” and pressed the large door beside it slightly open. She stuck her snout inside the crack. “Hello?” There was no answer. Celestia cracked the door open further, peering into the dark room of endless cupboards, cooking equipment and storage space. “Hello?" The greeting echoed into the room with no response in return. "Hmmm, nopony here either…” Twilight made a mental note to disregard her previous mental note. Celestia let out a huff as she stepped inside the empty kitchen, whirling back around to face Twilight with a frown. “Well, this simply will not do. We can’t have you go hungry all day, my lovely little Twilight.” Twilight scratched the back of her neck. “I could just grab a snack or… maybe…” She pawed at the floor and grit her teeth. No! Think of something! Something that would occupy her for at least an hour or two. Keep her mind off of… “Why don’t we try to make something?” Twilight asked. “Hmmm, tempting…” Celestia replied, tapping at her chin with her hoof. “What do you have in mind?”  “H-have in mind…?” Twilight stammered. Oh no. Think! What do you know how to make? Uhhhh… Grr if only Pinkie were here! It needs to take long, be very complicated! ...But should also be tasty. No! C'mon, Twilight! Focus! Breakfast… breakfast… perfect breakfast…!  “Uh, pancakes?” Twilight answered. Pancakes? Seriously? Celestia mulled over Twilight’s words. “That would take a while to make…” Twilight winced a little when she said this, yet Celestia only gave her a warm smile. “My lovely little Twilight is positively famished, and I will not tolerate you starving in agony as we struggle to create a meal. But...” Her eyes wandered down the hallway and her warm smile turned into a sharp smirk. A twinkle sparkled in her eyes as she refocused her attention on Twilight. “They are not the only cakes we could enjoy...” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” Celestia ushered her student further down the hall with her wing. “Follow along, my lovely little Twilight and you shall see.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Gah! Useless!” Luna tossed yet another textbook over her shoulder into the massive book pile that formed in the middle of the library. The book dislodged a few others, causing an avalanche of jumbled parchment and hard book covers to tumble straight into the neat stack of unread books that were beside a diligently studying Cadance. Cadance looked up from her unfinished book and gazed upon the devastation of the once well organized library. She gave Luna an annoyed look. “That book is as old as you are, you know,” Cadance quipped. “We are very well aware, dear niece,” Luna replied through gritted teeth.  “We even recall the small doodle we had drawn in the corner of the inside cover. It has just as much use as it did in the past.” Cadance rolled her eyes but set her sights on the one section that was still thankfully untouched. “Well, there is one more shelf to go through. I wouldn’t give up hope yet.” Luna slammed her hoof on the floor. “We have already nearly scoured the entirety of this collection and still no answer! What are we overlooking?” Cadance sighed. “I… I don’t know. I was sure that the Botanist's Guide to Advanced Alembic Techniques would have had at least some kind of clue…” “What have ponies been doing these past thousand years? Have they learned nothing new about the arts and sciences?!” Luna cried out, kicking over another stack of books. “Well, alchemy isn’t exactly a science.” Cadance replied with a smirk. Luna wrapped a nearby book in her magic and took aim at her snarky niece. “If thou only wishes to sling biting remarks, then thou shalt—!” A sudden knock came from the doorway to the library. Both alicorns silenced themselves and turned their complete attention toward the entryway. There was a small cough on the other side, followed by the sounds of nervous shifting. Luna dropped the book onto the floor with a resounding thud as she cleared her throat. “Enter.” Raven slowly opened the door and took a hesitant step inside, her approach only growing slower as she took in the sight of the disorganization before her. Her jaw dropped as she continued inside, but snapped closed when Luna jumped to the door and slammed it shut behind her. Luna now gave her an annoyed look. “Well?”   Raven bowed low as she usually did. “F-forgive the intrusion, your highness, but—” “Yes?” Luna interrupted with an impatient tone. “Has the palace staff vacated the premises?” “Uh, yes,” Raven replied. “All members of the staff all took the news with… enthusiasm, but there is the matter with your scheduled audience with certain members of the Red Velvet Society as well as the meeting with the leaders of the Artisan Miners Union who—” Luna groaned and slapped a hoof against her forehead. “Just… clear the schedule for the next week. We will not be taking any visitors in that time.” “Yes, your highness. Should I send them a letter or would you prefer to see them in person?” Raven asked. “Just send a—” Luna’s eyes snapped open. “A letter? Letters?! Cadance! That is it!” Cadance raised an eyebrow. “Wha—” Before she could say anything else, Luna jumped over to Cadance and wrapped a wing around her, forcing Cadance to her hooves. “Come! Quickly!” Luna commanded as she bolted out the doorway. Cadance sighed and chased off after her, leaving Raven in the library. Raven raced to the doorway into the hall. “B-but—! Princess, what…!?” The two princesses had already disappeared behind a corner before Raven could get another word out. With a dejected sigh, she returned to the center of the library, where the mound of books had overtaken her work desk. A few moments of digging later, she fished out a quill, an inkwell and some blank parchment from the pile. She let out a small sigh. “Letter it is then…” Down the hallway, Cadance struggled to keep up with Luna as she galloped along. “Where are we going?!” she cried out to Luna. “Celestia’s room!” Luna exclaimed as she continued to run. “She keeps a collection of Twilight’s letters there!” The two mares continued on their way until finally reaching Celestia's sleeping quarters, where Luna’s pace began to slow. Cadance caught up to her, nearly out of breath. “Twilight... sends her letters? What about?” “Friendship lessons, requests, advice. Subjects of that nature,” Luna replied as they both came upon the door to Celestia’s bedroom. Cadance merely cocked an eyebrow at her. “So… this helps us… how exactly?” Luna creaked open the door to Celestia’s room. “When one is not chained to castle walls, one finds many interesting individuals in their travels.” As the door opened, Luna gleefully trotted over to her sister’s personal bookcase and rapidly riffled through it’s contents, spotting the collection of Twilight’s friendship reports fairly quickly. She pulled them out, one by one, scanning through the contents of each one before shaking her head and putting the scroll back in it’s place. Cadance approached with apprehension, but still a little bit of curiosity. “Oh? She knows somepony who can help?” she asked Luna. Luna kept a letter open after reading it and shoved the letter she would have read next back into the shelf. She turned and smiled at Cadance. “Not somepony, Cadance. Some zebra.” Cadance let out a low whistle. “A zebra? That’s kinda rare, but how is she going to help?” Luna wrapped up the letter tight and tucked it under her wing. “Cadance, it is about time we consult with an expert.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Ah, here we are,” Celestia stated proudly as she came to a halt in the middle of another empty hallway. Twilight looked around. The two of them had been walking for the better part of an hour, traveling all the way to a far off corner of palace and her stomach had given her nothing but grief the whole way. She scanned up and down the hallway, but saw nothing. “I…” Twilight tried once again to search for what Celestia was talking about. “I don’t get it. What’s here?” Celestia giggled at her and leaned in close, bringing her voice to a whisper. “A very special place.” She pointed a hoof at the wall next to them. Twilight’s hunger-addled mind studied where Celestia was pointing long and hard, but it was still to no avail. The wall was beautifully carved white marble in the middle of the hallway, perfect for an entrance to somewhere. Yet, that was the critically missing component. No doors, no room plaques, nothing. “It’s just a blank wall.” Celestia smiled and sauntered up to the edge of the wall. She pressed an ear to it’s surface and lightly tapped on it with the edge of her hoof. “Only to the untrained eye, my lovely little Twilight. For beyond this very wall lies the legendary—” She spun around with sparkles in her eyes. “—Cake Vault.” “Cake... vault?” Twilight asked with a raised eyebrow. “Why… why is there a…” “Why, to store all our cake, course!” Celestia said with glee, clasping her forehooves together. “To protect them from the thieving hooves of renegade cake snatchers with a craving for cake of the highest quality. Some of these cakes go for hundreds of thousands of bits each. Everypony wants a piece of the action.” She closed her and licked her lips, letting out a moan. “The soft, velvety action.” Twilight’s eyes were wide with both amazement and apprehension. “Wow, I never realized the, uh... ‘cake scene’ was so… cutthroat.” Celestia gave her a firm nod. “Indeed. Only two ponies in the whole kingdom are aware of this secret.” Her face grew stern and her wings flared out. She towered over a now somewhat cowering Twilight before she continued. “What I am about to show you must never leave this hallway. Is that understood, my lovely little Twilight?” Twilight meekly nodded at her. “O-ok…” “Excellent!” Celestia said as she returned to her bright, cheery self. Celestia flared up her horn and raised a hoof into the air. Bright golden magic enveloped her hoof as she carefully traced several runes into the marble wall. Twilight recognized a few of them. Lock. Secure. Forbidden. Very strong magic, considering what was beyond. Celestia finished drawing the last rune before taking a slight step back. The runes together resonated a low hum. A ring of golden energy erupted from the center of the symbols and spread out to form the profile of a large door, similar to all the other doors in the palace. Celestia cheerfully hopped up to the door again and gave the locking runes a sharp tap. The three runes fell to the floor like a bundle of unlocked padlocks. As the runes fell away, the golden doorway solidified into a tangible entryway. The newly solidified doors cracked free from the marble wall around them. Celestia gave Twilight a wink and pushed open the new marble door. Twilight craned her neck to peer into the room, but it was too dark to see anything. With an outstretched wing, Celestia pushed her student into the room. Twilight gave token resistance as she skid along the floor, her curiosity outweighing her fear of the dark. Celestia followed her inside, giggling on her way in. Once inside, she sat on her rump, brought her two forehooves up and clapped them twice in rapid succession. Spotlights from the ceiling burst to life. One by one, rays of light shone down from high above onto evenly spaced display cases placed throughout a sprawling vault complex. The cake cases were arranged as if in a museum, and would have passed for one too despite the spartan surroundings. Inside each case were cakes so beautiful and ornate that even the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness couldn’t hold a candle to. With each reveal, Twilight’s eyes grew wider and her stomach grew louder. “Whoa...” Twilight blurted out. Celestia sat proudly with her head held high, gesturing to the cake fortune before them. “What do you think of the collection?” “I’ve never seen anything like this before.” Twilight replied, her mouth watering and her belly becoming more unruly. Her eyes drifted from one fabulous dessert to the next. “If only... Pinkie were here to… to see this...” “So, my lovely little Twilight, which cake would you like?” Celestia asked. Twilight snapped to attention. “W-what?” “Which one would you like to eat?” Celestia repeated. “Which one!?” Twilight’s eyes darted back and forth, her mind screaming no while her belly simply couldn’t decide. “No, I-I couldn’t!” Celestia laughed and waved a hoof at Twilight. “Go on, choose! Pick your favorite!” “Well, I...” Twilight bit her lip, her mind now totally dominated by her hunger. She timidly perused the selection, eyeing each cake for a shallow glimpse at what they might taste like. Every flavor under the sun was represented. Fruit swirl, white wedding, orange chocolate, angel food, velvet marble. The list was near inexhaustible. Cake after cake she passed by, each one more ornate in its construction than the last. The towering red velvet caught her eye, but so too did the elaborately decorated pound cake. There were simply too many choices, too many possibilities. Which one is my favorite? Carrot cake was always the standard, but favorite? I haven’t even tried half these flavors! Maybe the chiffon… Wait! Which one is Celestia’s favorite?! Gah! She never told me! Uhhh... Unable to decide, Twilight closed her eyes, spun around in circles and stopped, pointing a hoof directly in front of her. “How about this one?” Celestia smiled. “Lemon Cloud Velvet.”   Twilight opened her eyes and gazed at her choice of cake. It was tall and slender. The fluff of the pastel frosting resembled clouds so closely one couldn’t tell the difference from sight alone. It was completely to-scale, every detail carefully hand-picked to resemble the genuine article as close as possible. To perfectly mirror the royal body into a cake-like form was not merely a technical marvel, but a true expression of a love for the craft and deep respect for the subject at hand.   Twilight rubbed her eyes. It looked just like her. Celestia strolled up to her culinary mannequin and stood proudly beside it. “You certainly have good taste, my lovely little Twilight.” Twilight blushed. The resemblance was uncanny. Despite this, Celestia wasted no time in unlocking the magic barriers around the display case. The runes were not as complicated as before, but still required a delicate touch. Twilight could see that she wasn’t the only one who wanted to dig in, but something about eating a cake that looked just like— A siren blared and a cage fell from the ceiling over the display case. The two mares jumped a good few feet in surprise. Twilight looked around the room frantically. “Wha- W-who- How—?!” Celestia merely cocked a smirk at the cage. “Ah, so she did have it installed.” “What?! What installed?” Celestia sat on her rump and took on a posh tone. “‘Foolproof security measures of the utmost quality to ensure the continued safety of our cake fortune’, as Luna so eloquently put it.” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “But… I thought you said only two ponies know about this place.” “Exactly,” Celestia said with a smile and a nod. With that, Celestia approached a different display case and observed it closely. She slowly waved a hoof above the glass only to retract it once the same siren blared. Another cage slammed into place, barring any further attempts to free the baked prisoner. Celestia gave a slight frown but continued her search, approaching another nearby display case. She looked over the case carefully, examining every working mechanism. She tested the rune locks on the case. As she did so, the magic chains that bound the runes there displayed a foreign line, a trigger that lead straight to the alarm. “Aha! It seems that my dear sister has only poured half her heart into this endeavor.” Celestia stated proudly. In one swift motion, she cut down the line and unlocked the case. There was no alarm. A triple-layered red velvet cake with snow white frosting and hard red candy hearts stood in the center of the display, ready to be plundered. “Now we shall feast!” “Are you sure?” Twilight asked. “Why of course, my lovely little Twilight.” Celestia replied as she slid the cake’s platter toward her. A jostling of mechanical equipment reverberated from above. Twilight’s gaze shot up to the ceiling where a familiar looking cage dislodged itself from its housing. “Princess! Look—” Red confection splattered in all directions as the cage crashed into the cake below.  “...out.” Twilight whimpered. The cake was decimated. White frosting had splattered itself a good 5 feet in every direction. Candy hearts peppered the floor. Large chunks of cake clung lazily to the cage that had cut it clear in half, while the rest of the cake found itself all over the floor and an unfortunate princess. Celestia opened her eyes, bits of cake falling to the floor. She took in a short breath, despite the fact that her muzzle was completely covered in white frosting. “Seems… I was mistaken.” Twilight cringed at the sight of her mentor. Sitting there, covered head to hoof in mangled cake, totally foiled by her own arrogance, the sheepish position she must be in, the embarrassment of a nice breakfast ruined so spectacularly. Anyone would have a hard time not feeling sorry at the sight. Twilight had a hard time trying not to laugh. “A-are… are you alright, Princess?” Twilight asked, barely stifling a giggle. Celestia looked down at herself and wiped away a little cake from her snout with her hoof. “Covered in cake like this? Why, it’s a most wondrous feeling.” “T-that’s—” Twilight swallowed down another urge to laugh and gave Celestia a broken smile. “That’s good to hear.” Celestia balled the mangled cake inside the golden glow of her magic and gave Twilight a sideways glance. “Indeed, my lovely little Twilight. You should really—” The ball shot forward. “—try it for yourself!” Twilight slowly opened one eye as frosting dibbled down her cheek. Shock and horror flashed across her face as Celestia laughed heartily a few feet away. Her look of shock turned into a playful smirk and her horn flared to life. “Oh! Now you’re gonna get it!” Another barrage of mushy cake flew towards Twilight as she charged toward Celestia. She dipped and dodged, scooping up ammunition of her own as she ran. Cake bullets lit up the vault as each pony jockeyed for position, desperately searching for a clear flank on their opponent. Display cases became makeshift cover and soon the mess spread all over the vault.   Twilight stole a peek out from her temporary fortification, a ball of cake goo ready to be fired. She spied the still brilliantly flowing pastel mane of her mentor from across the room. Too far for a clear shot. Rapid cake fire splattered towards Twilight’s position. Suppression! She searched for options. A security cage to her left. No good, too exposed. Another case to the right. The angle of fire was too close. She’d never make it. Twilight blindly tossed what little cake she had back at her attacker, yet the barrage remained relentless. She looked down at the floor under her. Barely any cake scraps left. She scooped up what she could and braced herself against the display case. She listened carefully for any sign of a break. Splattered frosting still spilled over the display. Her mane was only further caked in sugary goodness. Cake ball after cake ball. Fast flying goop. The sounds of splattering dessert still ringing in the air. The assault was relentless. No room for error. The slightest lapse in concentration could spell disaster. Twilight shut her eyes. She perked her ears. She crouched down low. Begging for reprieve. You gotta run out of ammo sometime! A pause. A stillness. A moment of silence. Twilight leap into action. She wound up her shot, bursting from cover. “Aha! Take tha—” A sudden impact stuck Twilight’s open mouth and she tumbled to the floor, her confectional ordinance plopping onto the floor. She rolled to a stop flat on her side, skidding through a mass of decimated cake. After a brief moment of dizziness, her vision cleared. Across the room high in the air, Celestia hovered above with a near pristine white cake beside her, a single piece cut out of it. Twilight looked down at her muzzle and spied the missing piece between her teeth, perfectly shaped as if it had just been sliced away. She was a good hundred feet away, too. At a moving target no less. “Gotcha,” Celestia said softly before letting out a giggle. Twilight bit down on the cake and gave a sheepish smile. She let out a satisfied moan as she chewed. Lemon Cloud Velvet, just like she picked. It was little wonder why this cake was kept here. The impeccable taste, the excellent texture, the profound lightness. It was second to none.     “It tastes… really good…” Twilight said through closed eyes. Celestia fluttered down to where Twilight laid and sliced out a piece for herself. She put the large layered cake down and held the piece before her to admire. “Wonderful, isn’t it? One of my absolute favorites.” Celestia took a delicate bite and revealed in ecstasy as she chewed, her wings fluttering ever so slightly. Twilight watched her enjoy the cake and devoured her own piece as well. Their eyes locked together as they finished their well deserved meal. Despite the huge mess around them, Twilight couldn’t help but smile at her. Celestia gave a warm smile back. “Whoa…” The two cake covered mares whipped around to the doorway of the vault, where a very surprised captain of the guard stood. “Shining!” Twilight blurted out as she shot up from the floor. “We—! I-I, uh...!” Shining Armor scanned the vault, half with amazement and half with befuddlement. “Looks like you two are having fun…” Twilight pawed at the floor. A bit of soggy cake followed her hoof. “Sorry.” “Oh, so much fun. Alas, now it’s time to clean up.” Celestia let out a short laugh and enveloped a surprised Twilight in golden magic. She hoisted her struggling student into the air and trotted toward the exit. “Shining Armor, would you be a dear and call for the maids. Don’t worry about this little mess. I’ll take very good care of her…” She gave Twilight half lidded eyes. “...myself.” Twilight’s expression was swiftly replaced with dread. Helpless in her grasp, she floated along as Celestia trotted off down the hallway. Shining Armor waved after them. “Yeah, no problem. See ya, Twily.” He turned his attention to an approaching sound behind him. “Oh, Raven! Perfect timing. We’re gonna need some help in here.”