A Survivors Guide to Equestria

by Onomonopia


Four Heads Are Better Than One

As Ryan pushed open the door to his chamber in the ancient castle, he let the exhaustion overtake him and he slid to the floor. He couldn't believe the wolves had once again ripped him to shreds, even after he had gone through all that training. And then there was that grey pony, Ditzy or Derpy, whatever her name was that he had bailed out earlier. That reminded him; he needed to add a few new pages to his guide. He went over to the desk and sat down, flipping the book open to the character bios. Pulling out his pen, he began to write.

Name: Derpy (Ditzy)

Species: Pegasus

Sex: Female

Age: Unknown (18-20?)

Bio.

Grey pegasus with a weird way of talking and unset eyes. Seems to be incredibly friendly and takes well to strangers. Job is a mail carrier who isn't too bright. Nice enough though and has a heart of gold.

Personal opinion.

Derpy, while not the brightest pony, is nice and cares for others. Even brought Zecora to save my life even though I was different. Possible ally?

Threat ranking: None, harmless.

Ryan looked at the bio and after making some minor changes, started drawing Ditzy's picture on the opposite page. He had to start with her eyes, the eyes that seemed to make her who she was. He started with the one facing down, and then drew the one facing upwards. Once the eyes were complete, he started on the rest of her. Funny face, huge smile and the bubbles completed the things that made her different. The rest of the body was easy to draw, even though he had trouble with the wings. Once her picture was completed, he flipped to the map and spent a minute drawing in the new area he had discovered. The monkey's tree was placed in the west, next to a waterfall he had come across. Finally, he flipped to a new section and named it survival tricks and hints.

Tip 1=Timberwolves are insanely difficult to fight if you're not prepared. Do not get encircled by them.

Tip 2=Ponies may not be all afraid of humans. Still advise avoiding them for now.

Tip 3=Don't let Zecora near this book.

Once he was satisfied with the new additions, he closed the book and walked over to the spot in the room where he slept. He collapsed down to the ground on his back with his head on his arms, trying to make sense of the past month. Training with monkeys had been crazy and he'd probably be sore for at least a month. But he had learned valuable technique's that would be great help in his survival in this new land. He was grateful too, if not still a little mad at, Zecora for showing him where to find them. Not that he'd tell her.

Then his thoughts shifted to the grey pony that he had saved and in returned saved him. He was still confused as to why she had accepted him so fast. Sure if she had gotten to know him over the course of a few days, he could understand her learning to accept him. But she had accepted him right off the bat, without any hesitation. Sure he had saved her life, but that didn't mean that she should like him right away.

Ryan looked out the window at the full moon, feeling the exhaustion coursing through him. His thoughts shifted back to Zecora's offer from earlier. He didn't know what she wanted, but he knew that it would probably be insanely difficult and probably be dangerous to his health. But he did owe her again for saving his life and he repaid life debts. Maybe he could haggle with her and see if he could get some supplies out of the job. Even if she could outsmart him at every turn, it would be worth trying.

Ryan's thought went back again to the battle in the woods and his saving of Ditzy. Why had he saved her? A sane person would've seen all those wolves and would have gotten out of there. HE should've gotten out of there and save his own skin. He wouldn't feel like a scratching post right now if he had and he wouldn't have needed more medical treatment that put him even further in Zecora's debt. He should've just left.

Ryan sighed and knew the reason why he had gone back. Because he wasn't a sane person. Because of what happened to him was probably one of the worst things that could have happened. He got to live. And as he thought about that he also thought back to Chris and all of the crazy things he had done in the year they had known each other. And as he closed his eyes to go to rest, the dreams about his past returned, even if he didn't want them to.

{-------}

Morning. Ryan opened his eyes and started to get up, trying to move as slowly as possible to avoid causing any further damage. But much to his surprise, he found that his body barely hurt at all. He unzipped his jacket and looked down at his chest. Much to his surprise, the wounds from the other day had completely healed. Odd, did he heal faster in this land or was he just that tough?

Ryan re-zipped and stood up while grabbing his baton and all his other supplies, but left the book behind. He opened the door to his chamber and left the castle, heading for Zecora's. Yesterday she had said she had another job for him and he wanted to trade. So he'd have to probably endure yet another grueling task before this day was done. The day was just beginning, as the sun's rays delivered its necessary light all over the land. He crossed the bridge from the castle, soaking in the sun's rays. he scampered up the first tree he got to and leapt from branch to branch. making his way to Zecora's.

He landed in a branch on a tree near Zecora's hut. From his perch, he could see inside her house through a window, where the zebra was balancing on a poll with her head. He prayed that he didn't have to do anything that ridiculous when another sound caught his attention. Hoof steps. He moved in closer to the more shady part of the branch and looked to where the steps were coming from.

'Crap.' The pony walking down the path with fire in her eyes was none other than the Twilight pony he had "met" a month ago. She was fuming for some reason and stormed up to Zecora's hut. Ryan turned to where Zecora was balancing one the poll and prepared himself for an interesting conversation. Then he saw it. Right before Twilight slammed open the door to the hut, Zecora smiled, if only barely. Then the door slammed open and Zecora toppled off the pole to the ground. While Twilight rushed over to her side, Ryan narrowed his eyes. He may not have been a studier of the acting arts, but he knew that was a performance. Zecora had purposely fallen to make it look like Twilight had startled her. Now why would she do that?

"Zecora, are you alright?" Twilight asked. Zecora shook her head and stood back up.

"Yes, I am fine. What do you need, friend of mine?" she asked with a smile. Twilight let out a sigh of frustration and started to pace across the floor.

"I can't believe it. It's been nearly a month and still no update on who broke into my house. I mean, they didn't take anything of real value, the ink was probably the most expensive, but why would any pony do that?" Ryan smiled a little at her report. Apparently there were no leads on him or the fact that he was living nearby.

"However, I assume that it's the work of that monster that showed up a month ago. It can't be coincidence, it show's up then I'm robbed. It makes sense." Ryan sighed when he heard the pony's theory. She was right, but the worst part was that they hadn't forgotten him yet. He'd have to be even more cautious.

"I know not of this monster of which you speak. Now was it a conversation or advice that you seek?" Zecora asked with a smile, looking out her window at Ryan and winking. While Ryan tried to understand how she had seen him, Twilight began to talk again.

"Zecora, if you see anypony that's strange, would you tell me?"

"If a weird pony I see, I will tell you immediately." Twilight seemed content with Zecora's words and she left the hut. Once she was out of sight, Ryan dropped down from the tree and entered the hut. Zecora didn't even turn around when he entered, she went straight to business.

"You are here for my request, I see. What items do you ask from me?" Ryan didn't even bother with surprise; at this point he had assumed Zecora was a mind reader.

"If I'm going to be working with you, I'll need better equipment. Rope, medicine, anything you can offer." Zecora nodded and went into her back room, emerging a few seconds later with rope, more medicine and some weird eggs.

"What are those?" Ryan asked her when she had placed all the items on the table.

"Eggs of scent and lightning. Very good for escaping."

"Care to elaborate?"

Zecora picked up the yellow egg and held it with care. "This is the egg of a lightning insect. When smashed into the ground, it has an interesting effect. Lightning bugs emerge in a flash of light, robbing enemies temporarily of sight." She handed the egg to Ryan, who carefully slipped it into a side pocket.

"This is a stinkbug egg. I figure there's nothing else I need to say?" Ryan understood what see meant and placed the stinkbug egg in a separate pocket from the lightning bug egg. He didn't want to get the two confused in a fight. He picked up the rope, which was about thirty feet in length, and the medicine, slipping the two of them in his bag. Once he was prepped, he sat down for the job.

"What do you need?" Zecora smiled and placed a map on the table.

"Pay attention to the map so you do not get lost. Here in the bog I need a rare breed of moss. It is just west of here, but within the bog are creatures many fear," Zecora told him with a smile.

"Well at least you're telling me the truth this time," Ryan muttered, making mental notes and memorizing the map. "Alright, I'm off. If I don't come back, this is your fault."

Zecora rolled her eyes with a smile as Ryan exited the hut and headed off to the west. She wondered if he could handle the task the awaited him at the bog.

{_____Z_____}

'Boggs suck.' That's all that Ryan could think to himself as he sloshed through the murky water and the low hanging trees, trying to find anything that remotely resembled a rare moss. He once again cursed the zebra for sending him to this place, even if she had given him a few new tricks. The entire place stunk, the mud clung to his pants and those damn frogs wouldn't shut up. So it was safe to say when he found a small island in the middle of the bog he counted himself lucky and climbed up onto it. It was higher up than the rest of the area, so he found that he could see a lot further than normal. Actually, he could see really far. It was like he was going up and up and...

Shit.

Ryan looked down at his feet to see that the "island" was slowly rising out of the swamp. Acting on instinct, he jumped off the island and landed in the bog with a splash. He turned around to see a giant head rise out of the swamp, towering above him. The head was definitely a serpent of sorts, but it was yellow and had green eyes. It glared down at him and hissed with evil intentions.

"That is not good," Ryan whispered to himself, pulling out his stun baton. The water next to the head bubbled and another serpent head burst from the water, joining its brother to tower above Ryan.

"That's even worse."

As if he wasn't outclassed enough, a third head burst out of the water with a vicious roar.

"That's just not fair!"

Then the fourth head came out. Rain began to fall as the four headed hydra began to climb out of the swamp. Ryan, who was both scared and angry, went with the only thing he could do in this situation. Blame Zecora.

"ZECORA!" he roared into the skies as the hydra fully emerged from the swamp. The head with the most scars chuckled at the tiny human and managed to get the other three to laugh at him as well. Looking up, he measured that the creature was at least forty feet tall and made the snake he had fought previously look like a worm. Ryan looked up at the heads, wondering how the hell he was going to get out of this, when he noticed something resting top the hydras head. A small piece of moss rested square on the scarred hydra's head. THAT was the moss Zecora wanted him to get?

"Zecora, if I get out of this alive, I'm going to kill you," Ryan promised to himself, flipping up his hood and activating his stun baton, preparing for one hell of a fight.