A Golden Afternoon

by Gallifrey

An Unexpected Party

Trotting through an open forest clearing gave Twilight no doubt that there was a lack of Sun in the sky; a fact that even though she had seen, she struggled to believe, despite the evidence before her eyes. Returning to the trees so she didn't have to think about such absurdity, Twilight felt as though someone, or something was watching her from the branches. She was also aware that the light was beginning to fade, and the day with no Sun was starting to draw away from the topsy-turvy world she found herself in. A low caressing whisper on the wind reached her ears, stopping her dead in her tracks.

"So... it's really true..."

Frightened, Twilight spun around, looking for the source of the voice.

"Who's there?!" she demanded, horn lighting up in preparation for defence.

"'Twas brillig, and the slimy toves,
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe..."

She looked up through a gap in the trees, but all she saw was the sharp, sickled shape of the crescent Moon, looking down at her timid, lost form.

At least the Moon's still here... if it's any consolation, she thought to herself.

The Moon began to move.

Though of course, I can't expect it to behave normally now can I?

The crescent moved from the sky, down the branches of the trees and then slunk across a bough, grinning at her. Two eyes then appeared above the crescent, and a body materialised along with it: the body of a cat sitting on the branch, with brown mangy fur, ears that tapered to a point, and were slightly different sizes, electric blue eyes, bright and piercing, but all paled into insignificance in the presence of the cat's smile, which was constant and unchanging, and more than a bit unnerving.

"Hello," it said calmly.

"Um, hi," said Twilight, "m-may I ask you who you are?"

"You certainly may," it replied.

Twilight waited patiently, swaying backwards and forwards slightly on her hooves. The cat seemed to be more reasonable than most she had met today, so she gave it time to answer.

"Go on then," it insisted.

"Huh? Oh! Who are you?"

"Aha, there it is," it said, grinning all the wider. "I am a Cheshire Cat."

"What's a Cheshire Cat?" asked Twilight curiously, "I can't say I've ever had the pleasure before."

"Me," it stated.

"Do all Cheshire Cats smile so?"

"It depends: all can, and most do. But I feel the most important thing on your mind right now is something bigger than whether all Cats smile, no?"

"You're quite right. I really want to know where I ought to go from here, please could you help?"

The Cat stood up and glided down the tree to float beside her. Twilight didn't even bat an eyelid.

"That very much depends," it said slowly, "on where you want to get to."

"Oh I don't really mind where-"

"Then it really doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat, tail curling around and tickling Twilight's snout.

"So long as I get somewhere," she explained.

"Oh, you're bound to do that, if only you walk long enough."

Twilight considered the wisdom of these words, nodding thoughtfully.

"In that case, can you tell me who lives around here?"

"Well," said the Cat, looking around as though it could see through the trees. "That way, lives a Hatter." It pointed with its right paw, "And that way, lives a March Hare," it pointed in the opposite direction. "Visit either you like, they're both mad."

"But I don't want to go among mad ponies!" implored Twilight.

"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat, its grin becoming so wide it went higher than its eyes, baring every one of its teeth, "we're all mad here. You may have noticed I'm not all there myself."

"I suppose I don't have any better plans... do you know anything about the King of Hearts?"

"I do."

Twilight eagerly continued:

"Can you please tell me?"

The Cat eyed her intently, as if measuring her up.

"All in good time," it said enigmatically. "For now, go and enjoy the company of the Hare and Hatter. Who knows, you may learn something interesting from them."

"If you say so," said Twilight, accepting her fate.

"I shall be seeing you again, Twilight Sparkle," it said mischievously, as it dissolved into the aether around her.

"Wait! How do you know my name?!"

"All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe..."

And with those parting words, the Cat left her.

Twilight saw a house, a house with a burnt yellow thatched roof and chimneys shaped like rabbit ears sticking out of it. It was getting difficult to tell in the dusky light around her, but she supposed this must be the March Hare's house. There was a table set out in the front garden, under a tree, which is where Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were sat.
Pinkie was wearing a fine green waistcoat and a fiery orange bow-tie, atop her head lay a green top hat with a piece of paper marked "in this style, 10/6" attached to it, and on her face she wore a grin worthy of the Cheshire Cat. She was pouring a cup of tea for Rainbow, who in contrast was wearing a scruffy looking rabbit outfit, not unlike Fluttershy's, except a lot more worn, patched and frayed, with ears that were beginning to droop.
Twilight noticed that although the table was very large, covered in a sea of teapots and crockery, and could easily seat over a dozen ponies, the two mares were both sitting close to each other in the corner. With a small frown, Twilight decided to take a seat in a squashy armchair near them, sinking into it as if it wanted to gobble her whole, and she wouldn't be surprised if it actually did.

"No room! No room!" they immediately burst out, "There's simply no room!"

"But there's plenty of room!" exclaimed Twilight, waving a hoof at the barren table before her.

"Would you like some wine?" asked Rainbow encouragingly, leaning over the table to her.

"After all I've been through today, yes please," said Twilight hopefully.

"We don't have any," said Rainbow.

"Well why did you offer it?" asked Twilight, disappointed.

"There was no offer, I was asking if you'd like any, and unfortunately we don't have any."

"Oh," was all Twilight could say. She should have expected as much. She looked over to Pinkie Pie, who was looking at her with great curiosity.

"You're purple," she said, as a way of greeting.

"You're pink," said Twilight, hoping this was the correct response.

"Yes," she said thoughtfully, "funny that, isn't it?" She burst out into laughter, Rainbow joining her.

"Tell me," said Pinkie once she had calmed down, sipping from her cup, "why is a raven like a writing desk?"

Twilight perked up at this: she enjoyed riddles. There was something timeless and mysterious and oh so intellectually stimulating about them she found them irresistible.

"Why is a raven like a writing desk..." she murmured.

"Yes, why?" bubbled Pinkie.

Twilight put a hoof to her mouth in contemplation.

"Oh hey, the Dormouse is awake!" said Rainbow in surprise, pulling a tiny blue-grey mare out of a teapot, "Oh, never mind, it's asleep again."

Silence fell over the party. Pinkie pulled a watch out of her coat pocket and looked at it, shaking it uneasily. Rainbow meanwhile poured a cup of sugar and put two teaspoons of tea on top of it. Twilight was still thinking about ravens and writing desks.

"Does anyone have the time?" asked Pinkie.

"I should think about six o'clock," said Twilight.

"Well of course," muttered Pinkie, opening the back of the watch to reveal the mechanisms, "but what is the date?"

"The twenty-first," replied the unicorn.

"The twenty-first, eh?" She looked up to Rainbow, "It's exactly two days wrong, I told you butter would mess it up! Cake batter would have been a much better idea."

"I-it was the best butter," said Rainbow meekly.

"It may have been my fault: it was super silly to think of using the bread knife, covered in crumbs no doubt. Would you care for some more tea?" she asked Twilight.

"More tea? I haven't had any yet, so I can hardly take more."

"You mean you can't take less," said Rainbow, proffering her a cup of steaming tea, "it's very easy to take more than nothing."

Rainbow set the tea in front of her and Pinkie immediately dunked her watch into it.

"Ah, that's much better!" exclaimed Pinkie, as the numbers on it notched round to sit on '21'.

"What an unusual watch!" said Twilight, "It tells you the date, but not the o'clock."

"Why should it?" asked Pinkie, "Do your clocks tell you what year it is?"

"Of course not, because it stays the same year for such a long time and-"

"Such is the case with mine, or rather, ours," said Pinkie, gesturing to Rainbow, who was eating her teacup, and the Dormouse, who had fallen asleep in the sugar bowl.

"Do you mean to say it's always the same time here?" asked Twilight.

"I mean what I say," she said enigmatically.

"Ah, but do you say what you mean?" quipped Twilight.

Pinkie's eyes brightened considerably, and she giggled.

"I like you!"

"Thank you," said Twilight, picking up her cup and bringing it to her lips.

"I want a clean cup!" announced Rainbow Dash.

"Change places!" ordered Pinkie, laughing maniacally, standing up and bustling Twilight with her down the table a few spaces, forcing her to leave her tea behind. Disgruntled, Twilight made to pick up one of the dozens of teapots littering the table, but it reared up and snapped at her hoof.

"Let me get that for you," said Rainbow kindly, picking up the pot with ease and pouring Twilight a cup of Dormouse with some tea to complement it.

"Story time for our guest!" said Pinkie importantly, standing up and tapping a spoon against her cup.

"Story time?" asked Twilight.

"Quite literally," remarked the pink pony, closing her eyes and nodding, "as this is a story about Time himself."

She stood still for a few seconds, as if waiting for Twilight to contradict with a 'you mean itself,' but nothing was forthcoming. Opening one eye, she smiled at Twilight and carried on.
"I used to be good friends with Time, you know. I like being friends with everyone, but one day in March we had a fight- right before she went mad," Pinkie added, pointing a teaspoon at Rainbow, who was listening intently, despite having heard the story many times before, and indeed having been in most of it.
"I was at a concert for the King of Hearts and I was to sing

"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world so high!
Like a tea tray in the sky!"

"Twinkle twinkle, twinkle twinkle," mumbled the Dormouse.

"Have you ever heard it before?" asked the pink mare.

"I've heard a song similar to it," said Twilight.

"Well, I sang it, and I'd just finished the first bit when the King shouted 'He's killing the time! Off with her head!'"

"What?!" exclaimed Twilight.

"Yesss," said Rainbow quietly, "although, it's very difficult to take off the head of somepony who's already lost it."

"Does the King happen to have a fixation for beheading ponies?"

"I guess you could say he's rather attached," said Rainbow, stifling her laughter, "or the opposite."

"Yes, the King was never a fan of Time, much too ordered for him, anyway. Since then, Time won't listen to me: it's always six o'clock now."

"That certainly explains all the tea sets," said Twilight. "You know, time can be funny in dreams, that's what I expect is the real cause of all this."

"Shh shh shh!" hushed Pinkie suddenly.

"What?" asked Twilight, feeling slightly afraid.

"I'm thinking of something beginning with T, but I can't put my hoof on what..."

"Is it tea by any chance?" chuckled Rainbow Dash.

"No, it's weird..." she said, looking at Twilight.

"Why did you drop by this tea party anyway?" asked Rainbow.

"I'm not even sure anymore," said Twilight, "I first wanted to know where I was, but now I should just like to wake up I suppose."

"Wake up where?" asked Pinkie.

"I was under a tree."

"You're under a tree now," said Rainbow, gesturing upwards.

"It was a different tree," explained the unicorn.

"Have you ever met Chessie?" asked Pinkie, "He always seems to know what's going on."

"The Cheshire Cat? Yes I have, he directed me here."

"Did someone call?" said the Cheshire Cat, materialising in the chair next to Twilight.

"Chessie!" said Pinkie happily, "So nice to have you!"

"So nice to be had," said the Cat through its permanent grin. "Twilight, even though I'm sure you're enjoying this little soiree, it is time."

"It's Time?" asked Pinkie.

"Time for what? Tea?" said Rainbow.

"Time for Twilight to follow me," it said to them.

"Twilight... Twilight." Pinkie rolled the word around her tongue as if it were a gumdrop.

"Where would you be taking me?" asked Twilight.

"To the Guardian of the Stars," said the Cat, as though it were a thorough explanation. Shrugging, Twilight rose, bade goodbye, and left the tea party behind her.