Chapter 8-Child-like Faith
That night was one of the first nights I had without nightmares ever since Discord's return. Well rested, I laid my plans out for the day.
“Alright, I'll read up on the library about hexs and tracking devices, practice some of my defensive spells...” I stopped as I heard a knock at the door. “Yes?”
“Shade, remember that the fillies are coming to tour the castle today!” I heard my mother yell. “Try to clean your room a little bit, alright?”
“It is clean!” I yelled, before I heard her chuckle. She was messing with me, so she was in a better mood. Or at least I hoped.
“They'll be here in about five minutes.” She replied, opening the door to see me lying on the ground, notebook in front of me. “Plans?”
I shrugged. “Just a few. I completely forgot about the tour today though.”
Celestia smiled at me. “Go and welcome them for me, will you? After that, feel free to do what you want.”
I paused. “Wait, are you going to have them see my room?”
My mother winked and walked away. “Why not?”
. . .
Five minutes later, I was at the front of the castle with Cheerilee's class, arguing with the guard. “Please, Armor Spike. They're foals! I don't think that they are a threat to anypony in here.”
Armor was very, very stubborn though. “Even so, I need to check them. You don't know if any of them are concealing weapons.”
I pressed my hoof to my face as Cheerilee spoke up. “Sir, I went though their bags myself. We have no weapons.”
The stallion rubbed his chin. “I don't know...”
“For crying out loud!” I snapped. “All of you, please turn to your left.” The schoolfoals stopped talking and all faced the wall. I concentrated and shot a thin green beam of light into everypony's schoolbag, causing them to disappear and for us to see what was in them.
“See! No weapons!” I said. “Now can you please drop it?” Armor scanned all of the bags, nodded to us and walked off. “Sorry about that.” I said to the teacher as the foals started to chatter. “He's a little paranoid, but he means well.”
As Cheerilee was about to speak, my mother walked into the room. Everypony bowed except me. After Celestia had claimed me as hers, she refused to let me bow to her anymore.
“Princess, thank you for having us.” Cheerilee said.
My mom shook her head. “The pleasure is mine. Shall we begin the tour?” She turned and winked at me before giving me a hug and walking off, the class following.
I was about to head off myself until I was tackled by Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, my close friends. Didn't matter that they were only fillies, Sweetie Belle had actually traveled with me when my father had killed my reputation.
“Hey you two!” I happily said, squeezing them. “Where's Scootaloo?”
Sweetie pouted. “She couldn't make it. I don't think Miss Cheerilee even knows though. She forgot to take attendance.”
I glanced up, seeing the class was about to exit the room. “What if she was here anyway?” My friends glanced at each other, then looked at me and smiled.
Now, I had been known for being a little bit of a trouble maker when it came to being with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Having the ability to perfectly replicate any pony helped with that. Fortunately, this wasn't gonna be as mischievous, unless spying on my mother's tour is a bad thing. My body shimmered, and I shrank down to the size of a schoolcolt. I grew tiny wings, my coat turned orange and my mane turned purple.
“Perfect.” I said in her voice. “Come on!” The three of us dashed off to catch up to the group.
. . .
I never realized how many rooms that Celestia didn't want to show other ponies. Not because they were bad, just...not normal. Either way, we stopped quickly at the library, where my mother let us read for a while. We ate a rather nice meal in the kitchen. I speculated that my mom had asked the cooks to prepare something special. We even went into the armory. Cheerilee didn't let any of us touch anything though.
As we went upstairs to where we all lived, I was thinking hard. Why was I hoping to expect from pretending to be my friend and join the tour? Seeing as how my brain couldn't come up with an answer, I kept walking.
We passed by Luna's room, which wasn't a surprise seeing as she was asleep and mine, which kinda WAS a surprise. Now I had no idea why I had to clean it up. Ah well.
When we reached my mother's room, it always made me smile. The ceiling had a giant sun painted on the ceiling and the rays from it extended down the walls. Whenever Celestia turned the lights on, the sun and the beams lit up, illuminating the whole room. It was truly beautiful.
“So my little ponies, did you have any questions for me before we move on to the last part?” My mother asked.
Nopony moved, except for Sweetie. “Why is that moon over there?” She pointed to a corner of the room.
My mother smiled. “That is a reminder. Even though I love my day, I always remember that I need to make way for the night.”
I sat deep in thought. Make way for the night... Maybe I needed to push something away, or bring something closer? I knew that she wasn't talking to me, but I couldn't help wondering. Suddenly I was hit by a thought. I was so focused on what I could do for everypony so that I wasn't hurting my reputation. But what was I doing for myself? Maybe I needed to really take time for myself. Not with my family, or my friends, but for myself once in a while. I continued to think about it as we moved on.
. . .
Our final stop was actually my room. Of course. Celestia magically opened the door and we all filed in. My room was sky blue, sort of like my mother's but it was also covered in clouds. I have butterflies on the walls, but you couldn't see them behind all of my drawings.
“This...this is my son's room.” Celestia attempted to compose herself. “This was a guest room, but it became Shade's when I brought him here.”
Diamond Tiara raised her hoof. “So, he lives here then. What's with all of the drawings?”
My mom looked at her. “Shade loves to draw. When he was here after I told him about his family, he spent quite a lot of time in here. He'd come out to eat, but most of the time he was in here, quietly drawing.”
Apple Bloom spoke up then. “So, what brought him out of his depression?”
When my mother looked at her, it felt like a barrier was shattered in my mind. I remembered what happened now, but I had blocked it out. And now, I was eager to hear it again.
“I did.” Celestia said. “I was afraid. No, I was being a coward. I didn't think about how badly it would hurt Shade to not tell him for so long until he almost died. He was struggling with the past, and it was my fault. So, I finally took the courage I needed to talk to him. I didn't need to though.” She stopped and looked directly into my eyes. “When I walked into his room, I simply held him and cried. We both cried. And I remember exactly what I told him.”
I tentatively raised my hoof. “What did you say, Princess?”
My mother smiled. “I told him that no matter what happened in the past or in the future that he was my son. And he would always be my son. And I'm sure that he'll remember that when he needs to.”
That was it. I couldn't tell what had been holding me back from...whatever it was. But it didn't matter now. My eventual death, my nightmares, anything. I guess that I had been so worried about disappointing my mother, that it was keeping me from trying to fix anything. Hence the nightmares and the fact that I was beaten by that unicorn. But now, now I was truly ready. I was ready to go after Chrysalis. And as I looked up at my mother's eyes, I saw her wink at me. I grinned. She had known the whole time.
. . .
As soon as I was able to hide from the group, I shifted into Soarin and launched myself towards the edge of the Everfree. It took a few minutes and me surprising the ponies in Ponyville when I swooped down to snag some emotions, but I quickly reached Fluttershy's. I wanted to apologize for not sending a letter and explain what my plan was.
When I landed, I trotted up to the door. I was JUST about to call out her name, until I saw that the door was slightly open.
Fluttershy never left the door open.
I quietly slipped inside, shifting into my unicorn form. I saw that her animals were outside, which meant that she had wanted us to be alone. I swiftly crossed over to open the door, and I fed the animals, thus seeing the worst thing I had ever seen in my entire life.
There was a folded piece of paper on the table with my name on it. I crossed over and picked it up, resting on the couch. I quickly unfolded and read it.
Dear Shade,
This was really hard For me to consider, but I had to come tO this conclusion. It's you, Shade. We can't be together anymore, and I'm not just talking about us being togetheR. We can't see each other evEr again. You're too dangerous and I can't risk my friends or my animalS any longer. I'm sorry, but this is the way iT has to be.
Sincerely,
Fluttershy
Okay, I'll be honest. I lost it. Completely. I freely cried. Fluttershy had promised to love me when she had accepted the necklace. So, why would she do this? And not even to my face? Tears started to freely flow. I put the letter on the coffee table and silently wept for a while.
At least, until I opened my eyes, and they rested on a frying pan. “In the living room?” I thought. I stood up, walked over and lifted it. It had a small dent in the bottom. “This hit something, but what?”
Then I had a horrible thought. “No, not again.” I ran over and carefully stared at the necklace. Fluttershy had extremely neat handwriting. But, in this letter her handwriting was sloppy. Not only that, she kept putting capitals where they didn't belong. It's possible that she was...
“Sending me a message?” I tore out of the living room and snatched up a pen and another piece of paper. Sitting down next to the letter, I wrote out the capital letters.
F. O. R. E. S. T.
Forest.
It all clicked together. The animals left outside, the door left open and the pan in the living room. Somepony attacked Fluttershy and took them with her, after trying to fool me.
Everything took on a reddish tinge. I glanced in a mirror and saw that my eyes were blood red. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I snarled. “Okay Chrysalis. You and I. This ends today, I promise you that.” Without a second thought, I shifted into my changeling form and launched out of the house, heading toward the forest, determined to end this fight.