//------------------------------//
// Who Are You? 
// Story: A Golden Afternoon 
// by Gallifrey 
//------------------------------//


A Golden Afternoon
by Gallifrey

Chapter Two
Who Are You?


The garden Twilight found herself in reminded her of the Castle Gardens in Canterlot, except bigger. But it wasn't bigger, Twilight was just a lot smaller, in the regions of about five inches tall. Everything she bumped into appeared imposing and intimidating, even the placidly swaying flowers, whose movements now seemed wild and erratic, almost as if they were fighting. Twilight snorted at such an absurd thought and continued on her way, intent on finding someone, so she could find out where she actually was.

"Now, when a pony wants to find her bearings," she said to herself, "finding the Sun in the sky will always lead you home- at least, that's what Celestia used to teach me."

Twilight pottered around, trying to find the Sun through the leaves of the trees and flowers, and looking increasingly like a tiny drunk mare who had a butterfly flying around her head. But try as she might, she couldn't seem to find the Sun in the sky, despite all her efforts.

But it's light! the logical part of her mind insisted, I'm just not looking hard enough.

Twilight passed a small (or huge, depending on relativity) bush and stumbled upon Fluttershy, who was sitting on her haunches, tapping her pocket watch earnestly.

"Fluttershy! You're here!"

"Where else would I be?" she returned, not taking her turquoise eyes off the golden timepiece. "And who's Fluttershy?"

"Y-you are?" said Twilight, puzzled.

"I am the White Rabbit," she said, placing the clock on the blue-green grass and taking out a silver key.

"Oooookaaaayyyyy, sure whatever, you're the White Rabbit- can you please tell me where I am?"

"You're right here," said Fluttershy, now proceeding to wind up the clock with the key.

"I know that," said Twilight, growing impatient, "but you see, I have lost my way and-"

"Oh nonono," said Fluttershy gently, "you see, you can't have lost your way, because you have no way, because all ways are always the King's ways, you see?"

"Um, what?"

"Th-the King's," said the timid mare, unmistakable fear colouring her voice.

"And who is the King?"

Fluttershy's eyes darted left and right, clearly looking futilely for an escape.

"Th-the King of Hearts, the lord and ruler of this land," she whispered, "h-he is a good king."

Twilight always knew Fluttershy was a poor liar, and in her last few words it was as clear as day.

"A good king?"

"Yes," said Fluttershy, nodding her head fervently as she said it.

"And all ways belong to him?"

"Yes they do, so you can't have lost yours."

None of this added up to Twilight. Then again, very little of her day had added up at all, it was if reality had suddenly become very poor at mathematics.

"But we don't have a 'King!' We have two Princesses! Everypony knows that!"

"Shhhhh!" Fluttershy pleaded, eyes wide and fearful. "You can't go saying stuff like that! H-he'll hear you and cut off your head!"

"What is this nonsense?!" cried Twilight, losing her temper, "You're making no sense! Just who is he?"

Fluttershy said nothing and picked up her watch to examine it.

"Oh my goodness! I'm late!"

"No! Not again! Come back!"

But she was already gone.

"Fine! Just go! See if I care!"

Though of course, the poor purple unicorn did care, she was in a place she didn't understand, and that irked her. Bending a leaf from the flowers beside her, she took a seat to try and consolidate her mind.

"Right, so, what do I know so far? I know Fluttershy's off her rocker, and she thinks there's a King... there doesn't seem to be a sun in the sky, I'm five inches high in a garden, and I'm totally lost... I didn't expect this when I left my home this morning."

With a small sigh, she continued wandering the garden aimlessly, in the hopes of bumping into someone with at least a modicum of sanity.
Her ears twitched, and she fancied she heard voices nearby. With mingled hope and trepidation, she followed the source of the sounds, until soon she could catch what they were saying.

"I have more!"

"So? My colours are better!"

"Well I'm the tallest!"

A thoroughly confused Twilight crept behind some soggy fallen leaves to look at who, or what, was talking. You can imagine her shock when she saw three flowers arguing- especially when she realised just who they were.

"You're not taller!" said Sweetie Belle indignantly.

"Am so!" retorted Applebloom.

"Are not!" said Scootaloo.

"Are too!"

Twilight, knowing what it was like to try and get the Cutie Mark Crusaders to stop arguing, decided to simply slink away unnoticed. As she did so, a bead of dew sparkled down from a leaf and landed on Twilight's head, dousing her face and mane as effectively as plunging them into a bucket of cold water.
The flowers heard Twilight's sharp gasp and stopped bickering.

"Hello?" called Sweetie Belle, "Is anyflower there?"

Twilight considered her options: on the one hoof, she could simply leave, it's not as though flowers could chase after her- as far as she was aware. On the other hoof, they had paused in their argument, so they should be a lot more tolerable. So, struggling through the mulchy and sticky undergrowth, Twilight ventured forwards under the bright curious eyes of the flowers.

"Hello!" said Scootaloo eagerly, "We never have visitors out here."

"Yeah!" piped in Sweetie Belle. "What's your name?"

"I'm Twilight, you girls know me well."

The three flowers bunched their heads together and conferred with one another.

"You ever heard of a Twiligh' before?" asked Applebloom.

"Can't say I have," said Scootaloo. "Sweetie Belle?"

"Nope, ask her what genie she is."

"You mean venous you dolt!" said Scootaloo.

"Don't call me a dolt!"

"Um," said Appleboom, poking her head out of the congregation and addressing Twilight, "what genius are you?"

"Genus? Equus of course."

"You sure? You look an awful lot like a lavender to me."

"I'm a pony, not a flower."

"Is that like a poppy?" asked Sweetie Belle, ending her bickering with Scootaloo.

Twilight decided not to answer this and instead asked if there was anyone who lived nearby.

"Well, there's the Caterpillar," said Applebloom.

"A caterpillar?" Twilight deadpanned. "Where does she live?"

"Th-that way I think," said Scootaloo, pointing a leaf in the general direction.

Twilight nodded and gave them thanks, and left them to continue their stationary lives in the undergrowth.





What's that smell?

Twilight was trotting along in the direction the flowers had pointed her, when she caught the scent of... smoke? If it was, it was a very peculiar smoke, sweet smelling and tangy.
Following her nose now, Twilight stumbled upon a clearing, where, upon an enormous yellow mushroom, sat-

"Rarity?"

"Hmm?" she asked, taking a hookah out of her mouth and  looking around, "Who said that?"

"I'm down here!" shouted Twilight, for she was but five inches tall, and Rarity was of normal pony size.

"Oh my goodness darling, what are you doing down there?" Rarity exclaimed, bending down and picking up the lavender mare in her hooves, placing her on the mushroom, which felt like a giant marshmallow.

"Hello, I was just wondering if you know where the Caterpillar lives?"

Rarity chuckled and took a lazy draw of the hookah, after a time she exhaled and said:

"But that's me of course."

"But you're not a caterpillar, you're a pony," said Twilight in a monotone.

"You don't strike me as a fool," said Rarity, "but to me, only a fool states the obvious, and nothing could be more obvious than that."

"So why are you called the Caterpillar?"

"Do you think someone's title has to reflect who they are?"

"N-no."

"But that's by the by, everyone knows who I am," she said, leaning closer to get a better look at Twilight. She inhaled on the hookah again and continued, "What I would like to know is, who are you?"

Shrouded in a cloud of thick smoke, the purple unicorn coughed.

"My name is Twilight Sparkle, but beyond that, I'm not even sure anymore; I've had a crazy day you see."

"I do not see."

"Well, I woke up this morning and I was having a normal day, but then everything started getting weird, and I'm beginning to think I'm in a dream to be honest. Plus I'm hardly my normal size."

"And what do you mean by that? Explain yourself."

Twilight was feeling increasingly waspish at how rude everyone seemed to be, so she decided to start being clever.

"I'm afraid I can't explain myself, because I'm not myself you see."

"I do not see," repeated Rarity.

"My usual size is akin to yours, but I used a lot of magic for it and I need to wait before I can perform it again. It's also quite disorienting to be two different sizes in one day."

"It is not."

"Are you just going to contradict everything I say?!" said Twilight venomously.

"Are you just going to conflict with everything I know?"

Twilight had no answer to this so Rarity laid back and blew a smoke ring.

"Why do they call it a pair of scissors when there's only one of them?"

"What?"

"It occurred to me," said Rarity slowly, examining the tip of the hookah, "the other day, when I was cutting some fabric, I found it ever so curious."

Twilight raised her head at this.

"Hang on, so you still like fashion then?"

"Oh darling, I adore it so!"

"That's interesting," Twilight mumbled, "so you still retain a love for fashion, which might indicate this is all just a dream... perhaps."

"Sorry, what was that?"

"I was just talking to myself, not to you."

"You. Who are you?"

"I told you already!" Twilight protested, batting away another cloud of smoke.

"You certainly have not!" said Rarity, smoking again, "You have merely stated what you are."

"Don't you think you should maybe tell me who you are?" snapped Twilight.

"Why?"

"I've had enough of this," she snarled, jumping off the squashy mushroom and landing hard on the ground below. Storming off, she heard Rarity call after her.

"Stop! Wait! I have something important to say!"

Twilight huffed and decided to turn back, if it was apparently so important.
Rarity picked her up again and placed her on the mushroom. For a minute or two she didn't say anything, then she opened her mouth.

"Keep your temper."

"Is that all?" asked Twilight curtly.

"No. By the way," she said, offering Twilight the hookah, "would you care to try?"

"Not at all," said Twilight, "but thank you."

"Very well."

A few more minutes passed where Rarity puffed away, broken by a single yawn. Eventually she got up and off the mushroom, ready to depart. Before she left, she spoke one last time.

"One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow shorter."

One side of what and the other side of what? thought Twilight.

"Of the mushroom of course," said Rarity placidly, as she wandered off.

Twilight looked down at the spongy fungus beneath her, and wondered which side to try first.

"I don't want to shrink further, I'll go out like a candle."

She decided to tentatively lick each side of the mushroom and observe the effects. To her pleasant surprise, a lick of the north side of the mushroom was enough to restore her to her former height. Happy to be back to normal, she set off again in the hope of finding someone who could help her.