//------------------------------// // My Mind Is A Dimly Lit Place // Story: The End Is Neigh // by BraxAttacks //------------------------------// "Look Sunny, just because you lost to Pound Cake at chess..." "But he's a baby, Twilight! He's a baby! He can't even talk yet and he masterfully eliminated every single solder I had on my field! They were just trying to help their country for God's sake!" After leaving Pinkie to look after the wretched beast of a tactical genius that is Pound Cake, I went to Twilight to share my burdens with. You think that she would be great at carrying burdens after the Tom incident, but apparently chess more or something like that. "It isn't like the world is going to end just because you lost one chess game. Calm down." This isn't something you calm down about Twilight. It requires attention! "But Twilight, my armies world did end! All of their wives are now widows, are of the children without two parents! The government has been thrown into shambles! The world has already ended!" Twilight gave an exasperated sigh. I guess she didn't hang out enough with Pinkie Pie yet. "Sunny, the chess pieces don't have families." I pointed a dramatic hoof at her. "How would you know?" "I've played chess before, Sunny." That just shattered my understanding of the world. twilight Sparkle has played... chess? Surly a game that relies on wits and clever strategy would not appeal to- *facehoof* "Be that as it may, Twilight Sparkle, I can still grieve, no matter what you say!" I then sat my plot down on the floor. then I laid down. Then I curled up. The greatest advantage of being a pony; You are a living blanket. "I would love to spend ten minutes in your mind." "Yeah... we have fun in here." In fact, last week we had this party. There was soda, and chips, and soda, and cake, and soda! then Jeff got pissed for some reason or another and we all laughed at him, then there was a murder the next morning. Good times. Then Twilight got the grin. The grin wheer you can tell that devious thoughts are drifting through there head, the grin that tells you something terrible is going to happen. the grin that signals the end time, the grin that brings divine punishment to those it is directed at. It is... the troll grin! "What are you thinking, Twilight?" having one of the most powerful wizards alive giving you the troll grin is not a position you want to be in. Seriously. you have not felt true fear until you have experience what I have experience. "I'm thinking I could spend ten minutes in your mind." Her smile grew wider. It grew. Wider. Every single alarm- even the kazoo -was going off in my head. My wings reflexively started flapping to get away. I wasn't even born with those things and they know to GTFO. That, and my mind is a very dark place. Actually, scratch that. If it's dark, you can't see the horror. My mind is a dimly lit place. I don't want to corrupt Princess Celestia's protegee with all the things that run through my mind, such as every fact that I know about the Brony community. That includes every grim-dark and shipping fan fic I've read. "Twilight... you don't fully understand what that would do to your mind. I am not lying or using hyperbole when I say that it could destroy you." There, that sounds threatening enough. Now hopefully she wont be determined to follow through, as is the case in every single movie ever- "The risk is worth it." Well shoot, there goes that. "Worth what?" She pointed her hoof into the air proudly. "Science, Sunny! Speculative science!" I grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "I love science too, Twilight, but this isn't worth it!" She grabbed my shoulders right back. Rebellion! "Everything is worth it in the name of science!" Her horn began to glow, and like some sort of leopard sailfish combo I was galloping out of the Apple family residence faster than a lepard or a sailfish. Then Twilight teleported right in front of me as I burst through the front door. Well darn, I was hoping that she wasn't going to use her incredibly useful talent. I guess this is just my luck. I barrel rolled to the side and continued running. She teleported again. Then I felt myself being grasped in her telekinesis. I struggled to free myself from her clutches, and failed miserably. "Seriously Twilight, bearing the weight of my brain alone is dangerous. Don't do this." I was worried now. She had caught me, and now was going to expose herself to one of man's greatest horrors. Man itself. "Then I won't do it alone." Wait, no, that wasn't what I meant Twilight! Her horn glowed brighter for a few seconds, then she smiled. "Soon, everypony else will be here to witness this! Isn't ti exciting?" Yes Twilight, this is very exciting. I am so excited that I am going to think thoughts of nice, clean llamas. Llamas are a much nicer alternative to whatever it was that I was thinking before I was thinking about llamas, and therefore will destroy you less. Hopefully. It wasn't long before everypony was gathered around in one big circle. Nopony had any idea why Twilight was holding me aloft with childish giggles, or why I was desperately failing to do anything about it. "Uh, Twi? What the hay is goin' on here?" Applejack asked with as perplexed a face as I have ever seen on her. "Why are you holding Sunny up like that?" Twilight cleared her throat. "I am about to go into Sunny's mind and learn everything I can about the human race." She make sit sound so normal to invade people's privacy in the most extreme way possible. I don't quite know how she managed to, but she did. Somehow. Everypony sat in a circle around Twilight, apparently just as eager as her to find out about me. that wasn't what I was hoping for. Think of the llamas, Sunny. think of the llamas! Twilight's horn lit up even brighter, and I instantly passed out. * * * * * Waking up with a very pissed looking Rainbow Dash pinning you down is something I can say was not on my list of thing to do in Equestria. getting knocked out was, but that's besides the point. The point is that I was very confused. "What... what happened again?" Right as I finished that statement, it came back in its full glory. I quickly looked around for Twilight, fearing I would find some sort of... something. I had no clue what to expect. She was huddled behind Applejack, quivering. that didn't shock me. All of the information that she just learned would tear any sane person to pieces. Or pony, unfortunately. "What did you do?!" Rainbow Dash all but screamed into my face. I shrugged. It was the only thing my brain could whip up. I wasn't in the most slap-happy-dandy-chipper of all moods at the moment. "Twilight?" I called out uncertainly. I was rewarded with something much better than the scream I was expecting. Twilight snapped her head up and stared at me with saucer eyes. She kept doing so for a few more seconds. With a short gallop I was in a tight embrace. "What the...? Um..." With every single nit of common sense successfully defenestrated right off of the planet, I gingerly patted the sobbing mare on the back. "I-I can see... how horrible your world was..." She manged through quivering lips. So even though her mind has just been assaulted by a mass of horrible thoughts and revelations, all she felt was sympathy for me, sympathy because of the world I endure. I don't think someone that kind exists back on Earth. This is... an eye-opener, to be sure. "I-I think we s-should talk in private." Twilight whispered as she pulled away. I nodded. Leaving the group of very stunned ponies behind us, we slowly made our way back to Sweet Apple Acres. I opened and held the door for her. We trotted slowly up the stairs. Twilight shakily sat down on the bed, and I took a seat next to her. An awkward silence filled the space to the metaphorical gills, until I cleared my throat. "So, uh... what next?" That was the hardest question I had been faced with ever since I had to choose between Nitty Gritty and Culver's. that choice took an hour or two. twilight took a deep breath, and looked at the ceiling, deep in thought. "Well, I basically know everything about you now. that's new." "It's also incredibly nerve racking." I think she was intentionally avoiding the whole I-knew-almost-everything-about-you-too issue. Now both of us have way more dirt on the other than should ever be known between to people. "At least some of the humans are vegetarian." That caught me off guard. "Well uh, I'm glad too?" Good recovery, me! Suddenly, she frowned. "What's with the rainbow pastry cat?" I burst out laughing. The sheer force of it could have conquered galaxies if it was pointed in the right direction. In fact, I can feel the flag being planted on my right lung. guess it isn't mine anymore. The French have claimed it. "Of all the things you could bring up, it's that! You had to pick that!" I continued to literally ROFL for awhile, before the invading forces were driven out. Twilight ten tilted her head back and let loose the greatest sound ever to come out of her equestrian mouth. It shall forever go down in history as the moment when all was corrected in the universe, when everything was at peace. "Lol." It's official, guys. her mental strength is at least over 8999. Weird, saying that I have a string urge to crush something in an over the top bout of haminess. I should get that checked. "How in the name of Pony Jesus have you recovered so fast? That shouldn't be possible, Twilight. You broke the rules. Everyone is going to be mad because you broke the rules." She sighed. "We can't fix it, can we?" "Nope." A smile spread across her face. "I can see why you love memes and references so much." I gave an incredibly fake and unnaturally happy smile. Or the troll grin. One of the two. "Does your understanding make me 20% cooler?" She nodded her head with an intense expression. "Indubitably." Then she went back to smiling. A warm and fuzzy feeling filled my very being at that exact moment. Everything worked out okay. Twilight managed to somehow survive her delve into my mind with only a new array of jokes through some miracle. I think the spell backfired in a good way. Does that still count as backfiring? "I think this turned out better than it should have. Maybe that's thanks to the llamas." "It was definitively the llamas that did it." "Nothing else could explain this." "Except the Matrix." "What? That doesn't explain this at all!" I waved my hooves in the air. "That's the point! MUhahahahahaha!" Oh man, that evil laugh just made my day even more than it was already made. Which was out of concrete. " You know, I can kind of understand why you like that laugh so-" She was interrupted by the wall exploding. * * * * * A/N: Not one of my better chapters. But, it did set up for the climax to finally drag itself out of the mass of filler that has piled up over the weeks and months. I still haven't manged to write another chapter over 3000 words long. Why is that? Anyways, I hope this was good enough to please you, and have fun doing... something!