//------------------------------// // Chapter 4: Pony Persuasion // Story: Three Evil Rulers, Three Cold Hearts // by Matthais Unidostres //------------------------------// Three Evil Rulers, Three Cold Hearts Chapter 4: Pony Persuasion The Earth Ponies of Ponyville were all gathered in the Everfree Forest. They were still close enough to the edge so that sunlight shone down, but the atmosphere was still creepy, but not just because of the forest itself. Everyone feared what the insane Chancellor would do to them. You didn't have to be a college professor in Equestrian History to know exactly what kind of pony they were dealing with. In a recent study published in last year's issue of Bridle Time magazine, Chancellor Puddinghead was placed second in the list of the top 20 most insane ponies in Equestrian history (Emperor Neighro took first place). Add in the fact that this pony had somehow gotten her hooves on the power of a Windigo, and that made things all the more frightening. Think of giving Pinkie Pie control over a nuclear reactor. That was the sense of fear that was upon the ponies. One pony nudged another and said, “Hey, do you think she's gonna freeze us all, like the Mayor?” The other just shuddered and said, “Look, just keep quiet and do whatever she says. Maybe things won't be so bad at all.” “ATTENTION!” Everypony held their ears and cried out in pain at the piercing-squealing sound of Puddinghead's megaphone. The Chancellor paced in front of the line of Earth Ponies with a serious expression on her face. After about ten minutes of this, which wore a considerably deep trench in the ground, Puddinghead jerked her head to face the ponies and said, with a wide eyed, smiley, and downright creepy face, “Would you all like some refreshments?” Before anypony could respond, Puddinghead whirled around and shouted, “That's your cue!” Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and each of their parents came over. Each family was pulling a large cart, each holding a large cauldron of steaming hot chocolate. Puddinghead whooped with joy and jumped in front of the carts. It was at this moment that she burst into song and dance. Hot! Hot! Ooh, we got it! Hot! Hot! Hey, we got it! Hot! Hot! Say, we got it! Hot chocolate! Hot! Hot! Oh, we got it! Hot! Hot! So, we got it! Hot! Hot! Yo, we got it! Hot chocolate! Here, we've only got one rule: Never ever let it cool! Keep it cookin' in the pot, Soon you've got- Hot choc-o-lat! Puddinghead's dance was wild and all over the place. At times, it seemed as if she had teleported, or that there were two of them for a moment. Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara's families soon ladled up an abundance of mugs full of the chocolatey goodness. Puddinghead balanced tray after tray of hot chocolate mugs through the crowd, making sure everypony got one, singing all the way. Hot! Hot! Ooh, we got it! Hot! Hot! Hey, we got it! Hot! Hot! Say, we got it! Hot chocolate! Hot! Hot! Oh, we got it! Hot! Hot! So, we got it! Hot! Hot! Yo, we got it! Hot chocolate! Here, we only got one rule: Here, we only got one rule: Never ever let it cool! Never ever let it cool! Keep it cookin in the pot, Soon, ya got! Hot choc-o-lat! Hot! Hot! Hey, we got it! Hot! Hot! Whoa, we got it! Hot! Hot! Yeah, we got it! Hot! Hot! Whoa, we got it! Hot! Hot! Hey, we got it! Hot! Hot! Whoa, we got it! Hot! Hot! Yeah, we got it! Hot! Hot! Whoa, we got it! [key change] Hot! Hot! Yeah, we got it! Hot! Hot! Whoa, we got it! Hot! Hot! Yeah, we got it! Hot! Hot! Yeah, we got it! Hot! Hot! Yeah, we got it! Hot! Hot! Whoa, we got it! Hot! Hot! Yeah, we got it! Puddinghead then did a huge slide in front of the crowd, flipped into the air, and performed a perfect split. “Hot choc-o-lat!” she finished loudly. Then there was the sound of pounding hooves of applause. However, 20 minuted later, it was replaced with the loud sound of uproarious snoring. “I – AM – BRILLINAT!” Puddinghead shouted. “So, what will those weeds we put in the drink do to them exactly?” Silver Spoon asked. Puddinghead gasped, “Weeds? Don't call them weeds! Those herbs were a secret concoction I discovered years ago! Do you have any idea how long I had to experiment!” The Chancellor seemed to droop a bit as she continued, “But somepony wouldn't let me have any fun with them. Whenever I finally got all the herbs together, enough for my whole chancellor-dom, somepony sneaked in and burned 'em all up! So I just gave up. And the weird thing was I saw Smart Cookie with ashes and soot on her hooves. Huh, she must have blown something up in the kitchen trying to boil water, anyway. . .” Puddinghead brightened up and said, “. . .fate has given me another chance! Wait and see! When they wake up, they'll all be-.” “ALL HAIL PUDDINGHEAD!” The Chancellor gasped with joy and whirled around to see everypony beginning to wake up. “ALL HAIL PUDDINGHEAD! ALL HAIL PUDDINGHEAD! ALL HAIL PUDDINGHEAD!” The Earth Ponies all shouted the cheer with eyes wide open, but clouded by brown mist. The Chancellor laughed uproariously as she fell flat on her back, her legs flailing, and tears coming out of her eyes. “Hahahahahahahahahaaaah! Beautiful! It's just so beautiful! Hahahahahahahahaaah!” “We give you our thanks for sparing us from this, um, method of persuasion,” Filthy Rich said with a bow. Puddinghead got up to her hooves and said, “Aw, no problem, I mean, I gotta have some decent sane help around her. Now, go to on to that town I heard someone mention, Appleloosa or somethingy, and dish out the chocolatey goodness!” “Yes ma'am!” Diamond Tiara said with a salute and a malicious smile. It was an evil smile. A smile for vile plots. A smile most commonly used when she bullied a certain blank flank filly, but now, that smile had moved up to bigger and badder things. . . Commander Hurricane paced in front of her army. In the back were about one-hundred royal pegasi guards. In front were a few chosen citizens of Cloudsdale. The strong hardy types, ones that could in all likelihood hold their own in a fight. “Either become a soldier in some crazy army or get turned into an ice sculpture. . .tough choice. . .” Billy whispered to Hoops and Score. The three pegasi were all dressed the same as all the others in the ranks, in the royal Canterlot guard uniforms, taken from the castle armory under the order of the original guards that had arrived at Cloudsdale. “Ugh! This armor is so heavy!” Hoops moaned. “NO TALKING IN RANKS!” Hurricane roared. Everypony was silent. Hurricane turned to one of the two royal guards and said, “Where's your friend?” The guard shrugged and said, “I don't know, we split up to give the orders to the guards in Canterlot to come here. His guards came, but he didn't.” “So he deserted?” Hurricane growled angrily, rage burning in her eyes. The guard began to sweat as he nodded his head. “What's his name?” Hurricane said in a smooth, quiet voice that induced fear into the unfortunate guard. “Pavise, sir,” the guards replied nervously. “What's your name?” Hurricane said in that frighteningly smooth voice. “Buckler, sir.” “Well, Buckler,” Hurricane said mockingly, but still in that smooth voice, “When we capture Pavise, I'm gonna make a brand new spear, and I'm gonna give you that spear, and you're gonna use that spear to execute him in front of me.” What made this worse was that Hurricane was smiling as she said this. The Commander left Buckler turning even paler than normal and sweating buckets. She gazed at the army in front of her and said in a loud commanding voice, “Proud Pegasi! We are a great race of warrior ponies, destined to conquer this land and make it ours! It will be Pegasopolis! A marvelous empire that will never end! It is up to you all to fight this war that I will lead you into, so that the kingdoms of the Earth Ponies and Unicorns will be no more! We will be their superiors and rule over them!” Commander Hurricane stopped to breath heavily after her rant, but then she stopped and said, “But, I'm afraid I cannot depend on the likes of you. Thousands of years had poisoned your minds. You no longer feel the pride of the pegasi warriors, and you sympathize and associate with the Morons of the Ground and the Horned Freaks. However, the warrior spirit of the pegasi still sleeps within you all, and I now how to wake it up.” Hurricane looked up and smiled, “And it will happen right now!” A adolescent griffon flew down and landed next to Commander Hurricane. “Gilda the Griffoness, my goo friend and ally, how are things in the Griffon Kingdom?” Hurricane said with a smile. Gilda shrugged indifferently and said, “Huh, whatever. Okay I guess. But I nearly got caught when I robbed the Griffon King's Castle. There are probably warrants for my arrest all over the kingdom by now. And wanted posters for me too! 'Gilda the Griffoness: Wanted: Dead'.” Gilda kept up her indifference throughout her entire stream of comments. “Don't you mean 'Dead or Alive?'” Hurricane asked. “No, I mean 'Dead,' that's it,” Gilda replied straight-faced. “I love the Griffon Kingdom,” Hurricane said with a smile. “So, am I second in command?” Gilda asked. “Yes.” “AWESOME!” Gilda screamed in fierce joy, pumping her fist into the air as she flew up fast. However, she quickly composed herself and landed back onto the cloud with a blushing face. “Sorry, Commander.” “It feels good, doesn't it?” the Commander said with an evil smile, “Having power.” Gilda smirked, “I will finally get revenge on a certain someone, not to mention rule over all those lame and pathetic ponies who thought they were better than me. Man, I am so glad I decided to visit Cloudsdale again! I'm so glad I ran into you.” Gilda stopped and peered at Hurricane with her eagle eye, “And ya know, you look so much like an old EX-friend of mine. . .” “Ahem!” “What? Oh yeah, right, here's the item you asked me to steal!” Gilda handed Hurricane an old looking horn, made from the horn of a large dragon. “Yes, the Horn of Warriors!” the Commander said, visibly quivering with anticipation as she held the horn in her hooves, “After so long, It's finally mine. I tried so hard to pry it from the grasp of the Griffons in the past, but now, in the future, it was just too easy!” “Easy for you to say,” Gilda thought as she absentmindedly stroked a now hairless spot on her rump from where a guard had scratched her as she escaped. “The legend said that in a time of war, a mighty ruler could make a rallying call to his, or her, army, and they would fight to the death until the war was over,” Hurricane said, and she smiled maliciously, “And I am a mighty ruler.” Then, without any hesitation, she put the horn to her lips, and blew. The sound of the horn reverberated through the clouds, blaring into the ears of the entire army. All fears, beliefs, and thoughts were banished by the mighty blast of sound, as everypony reared up on their hind legs and roared with Blood-wrath in their eyes, “THIS IS WAAAAAAAAR!” “Yes! Yes! YES! And you will FIGHT!” Hurricane shouted victoriously, fiery pleasure blazing in her eyes. “And Ponyville will soon be all mine!” Gilda thought gleefully, a smug smile on her beak. From within Canterlot Castle, laughter could be heard. It was the laugh of a bratty, spoiled tyrant getting her way. Princess Platinum laughed as she sat on Celestia's throne. She was very happy, and why shouldn't she be? The pegasus guards had all fled; obviously in fear of the powerful magic of the unicorns; that ugly abomination Celestia was frozen solid, and the castle and beautiful city of Canterlot below her were all hers. Standing up ahead in the royal chamber were two unicorns Platinum had taken a shine to. So much so, that she made them her Royal Subalterns. The two highly aristocratic unicorns, Jet Set and his wife Upper Crust, were certainly her kind of ponies. “It's good to be where you belong, right on top, isn't it?” Platinum asked her Subalterns. Both ponies laughed in a stuck-up matter. “Oh, quite right your majesty,” Upper Crust replied. “Oh yes, quite right indeed your highness,” Jet Set added. Of course, the fact that this unicorn resembled that horridly rustic pony from that backwater town of Ponyville had bothered them at first, but eventually they realized that this was not the same pony, and even if it was, she had power, so they needed to get on their good side, and they succeeded in doing just that. And even better, according to this unicorns beliefs and plans, it may turn out that they might see that backwater hamlet of uncouth Earth Ponies destroyed in their lifetimes. “Aha, and here is my Royal Consort!” Platinum exclaimed. In walked none other than Prince Blueblood, who had quickly gotten over his apprehension when he first saw the unicorn that so resembled that horrid Rarity. But physical resemblance was the only resemblance. This Princess Platinum was her kind of mare, and he didn't mind gulping down his pride to be gentlemanly to her. The Prince and Princess shared a quick but impassioned kiss, and Platinum said, “Ah yes. Now tell me, how's the progress on that vault door?” “Fruitless, my lady,” Blueblood said with a bow, “It can only be opened by a unicorn's horn. Most likely by Celestia's, whom you froze.” Platinum sighed, “Oh well, surely we'll find someway in. But these Elements of Harmony are useless to us anyway, seeing as the only two of them are wielded by unicorns. Now, how about that frozen tower? The one containing the abomination's abominable little sister?” “Impenetrable. Same as the ice encasing the elder Princess.” “Good, good.” The door opened, and Chocolate Sun, a brown unicorn stallion with a Cutie Mark of a compass rose that looked like the sun, walked in and said, “Announcing: The Great and Powerful Trixie!” The azure unicorn mare, complete with star-spangled hat and cloak, strode in majestically, magically pulling a large cart which was covered by a blue tarp. “The Great and Powerful Trixie has arrived, you majesty, and she has completed the mission you assigned to me,” the unicorn said proudly, “The map was easily understood by the Great and Powerful Trixie, and it was merely a trifle for her to locate the perfect crystal in the mystical caverns you sent her to.” “Excellent, oh Great and Powerful Trixie,” Platinum said with a smile, “You have hereby officially proved yourself worthy of being my new adviser. As good as Smart Cookie and better.” Trixie smiled and struck a pose, sending her cloak flapping in a magical breeze, “Aha! Yes! The Great and Powerful Trixie will finally rise above she who dared appose here once Ponyville is in our possession!” “But what is so important about this crystal?” Blueblood asked. Platinum winked and said, “I shall show you.” All of the unicorns of Canterlot stood beneath the great balcony above them as Princess Platinum came out. “Free our true Princesses!” shouted a voice. This was then followed by an uproar of shouting by a section of the crowd. Platinum merely nodded to Trixie. Trixie smiled wickedly, and her horn glowed. Black storm clouds formed above the crowd, and they erupted into a barrage of lightning strikes. When the smoke cleared, about twenty unicorns were on the ground with their manes and tails standing up on end. “The Great and Powerful Trixie commands you all to shut-up!” the new Royal Adviser shouted. Silence rang thick in the crowd. “I understand that you have all have forgotten the pride and superiority of the unicorns, especially after living under the rule of those two abominations,” Platinum said, “But, I know that once I show you my world, you will love it. However, we do not have the time, so. . .” Platinum used her magic to whip the tarp off the cart, revealing a large towering quartz crystal that sparkled in the high winter sun. “Every unicorn has magic, and magic can turn the weakest foal into the mightiest mare, or the strongest stallion. Everypony with magic can fight, and do some serious damage. But since none of you desire to fight, I will have to take desperate measures.” Platinum sighed and built up magic in her horn, preparing to cast a powerful spell. “This spell is a forbidden spell, but times are dire now. The pegasi and earth ponies are going to attack, so we must ready ourselves. This is the War Commanding Spell. A spell that will connect your subconscious minds to my brain through this crystal, allowing me to command you into squads, groups, and armies during battle by simply giving order of thought. In other words, I'm turning you into intelligent, living zombies. Do not try to run. You cannot escape, and it is for your own good. Once the war is over, I will deactivate the spell and release you into the new utopia that you helped create.” Platinum cast her spell into the crystal, which then amplified and multiplied the spell, casting it into the large group of unicorns. There were screams, there were yells, there were desperate attempts at escape. But they were all in vain. Platinum looked down at her army, and turned to Trixie. “Dish out the armor,” Platinum said, then she smiled and laughed, “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Our day has come!”