Twilight Sparkle's Excellent Space Voyage
Chapter 1
In which our heroes set off on a quest of questionable legitimacy
"It sure was nice of you to invite us to test pilot your space shuttle of objectionable safety, Princess Celestia!", Twilight Sparkle beamed. "Yeah, especially after the incident where we totaled your carriage, I sure am glad you forgave us!", Rainbow Dash added. The two ponies were all suited up, ready to go.
Celestia chuckled. "Oh, it's quite alright", she said, a forced smile fixed on her face, the kind that a parent would wear after three hours of teaching their young child why they shouldn't drink lead paint. "It can always be repaired. That is how objects and ponies differ. If a pony were lost in space, due to, say, lack of fuel in her or his space shuttle, or lost for whatever reason, just saying that as an example, then they would never, ever be able to return. EVER.". Celestia let put a high-pitched giggle.
"Uhh... huh...", Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. "Well, with only that ominous and foreboding statement to guide us on our way, as we allegedly have absolutely no maps of this are of space to help us navigate, despite having ones of places infinitely farther away, let's get going!", Twilight trotted cheerfully over to the rocket's high-tech sliding doors. That were automatic. It seemed like a bit of a design flaw, as there was no way to lock them, so upon passing any space debris, that'd be a bit of a problem. But she sure as hay wouldn't pass up this opportunity. She was going to the MOON!
***
5
Octavia slid from her bed, and slowly trotted, bleary-eyed, downstairs. "Scratch? You do realise it is seven in the bucking morning, right?". Scratch stepped out from their kitchen, equally as tired looking. " 'S not me, 'Tavia", Vinyl Scratch mumbled through a mouthful of Lucky Bits breakfast cereal, with 5 types of marshmallow in every box. No-one had called them out on the horrible Implications of what they did to make them. All anyone knew was that the 'mallow ingredients were sourced from a sketchy facility in Cloudsdale.
The DJ choked, coughed, swallowed a mouthful of cereal and pulled a few hairs from her mouth. Green, she mused. Not mine. Maybe I should try another lawsuit. "If you look outside, you might see it", Scratch continued. Octavia glanced out the window. "You mean the massive rocket outside?". "Yeah...". Octavia sat down. "Now there's something you don't see every day", she muttered as she poured a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee.
***
4
"Dash, cool the thrusters!", Twilight yelled. Rainbow Dash flipped switches aimlessly. "DUDE! I don't know how to use any of these!". Twilight's face paled. "You mean you... Didn't read... The manual?". "I figured YOU'd do it".
Rainbow Dash pulled a lever, and a deep rumbling started in the bowels of the ship. "Buck..." she muttered, and the engines roared into life.
***
Blast off?
They're going already? Their staggering incompetence was... Unexpected. Celestia smiled as she watched the blazing trail of the rocket as it set off into the atmosphere. Not the kind smile you'd expect of a sun goddess, but the kind that would be accompanied by a grey, pointed fin and some heavy 'cello. She casually sipped some tea, nibbled a little on her fourth banana, took a bite from another doughnut. Perfect.
Meanwhile, Twilight and Rainbow Dash stayed calm and level-headed, and worked hard to slow the rocket down. According to official records, anyway. In actuality, they cried, hugged each other and screamed things like "I don't wanna die!", "Make it stop!" And "Buck, I think I left the oven on!".