//------------------------------// // Chapter Sixteen: Fission Mailed // Story: My Little Mission: Sneaking is Magic // by DoctorSpectrum //------------------------------// “The Element of Magic is missing?!” I repeated, counting over the Elements of Harmony again in the off chance that Pinkie had made a mistake. Sure enough, there were only five necklaces in the box. “Where could it be?” Pinkie Pie gave a shrug. “Dunno, but we’d better search the castle for it!” In light of the missing Element, she was acting the most serious that I had ever seen her. “Alright… I guess we’ll have to,” I told Pinkie. “But don’t forget – we’re on a time limit here.” By my reckoning, we had less than an hour left before the meteor shower would be gone for good. “No problem, Snake!” Pinkie replied, bubbly and cheerful once again. “I’ll start the search now!” She hastily bounced over to the doorway… before being stopped by the sound of an alarm. She had stepped on the mines which she had warned me about when we entered the room. “What the hell, Pinkie?!” I asked as I caught up with her. She was sitting down on the spot, looking around frantically for the source of the alarm. “Why didn’t your Pinkie Sense warn you about those mines?” “I- I dunno,” she said, panicking. “I completely forgot about them!” I grabbed her tail and started dragging her away. “C’mon – we’ve got to hide before the guards –” Even as I spoke, the guards from the previous room burst in, and professionally enveloped Pinkie and myself in a telekinetic field, leaving us unable to do anything. “Well, well, well – what have we here?” one of the guards asked. “Trying to steal the Elements of Harmony?” “What’s this one supposed to be?” the second one asked, jabbing his horn at me. “Some sort of mutated minotaur?” I gritted my teeth in anger. If only I could have moved and reached my gun… “You idiot, Golden Breastplate!” the first guard said to him. “He’s obviously the same race as Shalashaska – you know, the Princess’ new advisor?” He looked a bit closer at me as I struggled to break free of the telekinetic field. “Come to think of it, Shalashaska was looking around in here the other day…” “That’s enough of that, men.” A voice came from the doorway moments before its owner stepped through. It was a white unicorn stallion with a long mane, streaked with varying shades of blue. He was wearing purple and gold armour on most of his body. He gave Pinkie Pie and I a quick glance before talking to his guards. “I heard the alarm – tell me what happened.” Before the guards could answer, Pinkie Pie interrupted. “Shining Armour! What are you doing here?” To my surprise, she didn’t sound worried anymore. Shining Armour turned to her as she talked, taking her in properly. “Pinkie Pie? What are you doing here?” “Well, I was at the Grand Galloping Gala,” Pinkie began, “but then I got bored and came here with Snakey, and then I was on the ceiling, but then I had to teach Snake how to hop, skip, and jump, so I came down, and then –” “Snake?!” Shining Armour interrupted, now paying attention to me. “You’re Solid Snake?” The guards were being completely ignored by all of us now. “Yeah – I am,” I answered. I had just remembered who Shining Armour was – Twilight Sparkle’s brother. “Did Twilight tell you who I am?” Shining Armour’s expression turned from mild anger to disgust. “I’d be pretty darn confused if she knew who you are,” he snorted. “I heard about you from Shalashaska, of course – apparently you’re quite the criminal where he comes from.” If I could have moved within the telekinetic field, I would have smacked my forehead in frustration at that moment. Of course Ocelot would have told the guards that I was a criminal – and since Shining Armour was captain of the guard according to Twilight, he would have heard this too. “Shining Armour! You still haven’t answered my question!!” Pinkie called out from her telekinetic field. Turning his back on me, Shining Armour moved closer to Pinkie. “I’m in charge of security for the Grand Galloping Gala,” he answered. “Tell me, Pinkie – why are you with this human? I know that you’re friends with everypony, but still…” “Oh! That’s easy!” Pinkie said happily. “Snake’s a good friend! He’s always doing funny things, like baking cupcakes with me, or hiding in boxes, or blowing up things! Twilight, Rarity, and the rest – they’re all friends with him too!” Shining Armour looked back at me with a glance, before turning to the guards. “You two – go back to patrolling the corridors. I’ll handle these two.” For a moment, one of them looked about to protest, before wisely closing his mouth and heading out the door with his partner. As soon as the guards dropped their telekinetic fields around Pinkie and I, Shining Armour put his up his own around us. “Don’t you see that Ocelot – I mean, Shalashaska – is using you?” I asked Shining Armour before he could talk or do anything to Pinkie and I. “To government figures like him, soldiers are expendable –they’ve only got one use, and that’s –” “Does Ocelot work for the ruler of your country?” Pinkie interrupted. “I didn’t know that!” “No, of course he doesn’t,” I answered, silently scoffing at the idea of Ocelot working for the President. “It’s just that to bureaucrats, soldiers are seen as – wait a minute…” I lost my train of thought as I tried to explain that government officials only see one use for soldiers. “I don’t know what you’re going on about, and I don’t care,” Shining Armour said bluntly. “But I want to know, Snake – how do you know my sister?” =================== A door to a private room was opened, and Pinkie Pie and I were telekinetically thrown in by Shining Armour. “But Shining! I thought we were friends!” Pinkie wailed. My hands and Pinkie’s hooves were being restrained by small force fields – as Shining Armour had explained, his special talent was creating barriers. “Good job, Shining Armour,” a familiar voice rasped. I had been thrown onto my stomach, and I rolled over to see Revolver Ocelot there as I had expected, in his trademark jacket and suit. As I got a decent look at the room we were in, I saw the rest of my friends – Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack – were here and restrained with ropes. “I hope you don’t mind, but once you told me that they were working with Snake, I thought it best to restrain them,” Ocelot explained to Shining Armour. Shining Armour barely glanced at them. “Just what traitors deserve,” he answered coldly. Next to Pinkie Pie, I heard Twilight let out a small gasp. “But Shining – B.B.B.F.F.!” Shining Armour ignored Twilight calling out to him, and walked out the door without hesitating. Although I could see Twilight starting to fight back tears, I whispered across to her. “Twilight – how much longer until the meteor shower?” “I- I’m not sure,” she answered back quietly. “It should be soon though.” “So!” Ocelot interrupted. “Here we all are – as we should be! I’ve waited a while for this moment, you know!” “What do you want, Ocelot?” I asked as I struggled against the force field restraining my hands. “Does Celestia know about this?” He let out a short, sharp laugh in response. “Celestia? Ha! What would I care about what she knows?” The ponies all gasped at this – to them, this was blasphemy. “Nopony talks about the Princess like that!” Rainbow Dash said aggressively. Like me, she was struggling against her bonds, but failing to break them. “You take that back!” “Why should I?” asked Ocelot, taking out his gun and twirling it in his hand. “It’s the truth – and I would think that you of all people would know about honesty, Rainbow Dash.” There was silence between all of the ponies and myself. “…What?” Ocelot asked, confused. “Ah’m the Element of Honesty – not Rainbow,” Applejack explained. “Really?” asked Ocelot, still twirling the gun. He seemed genuinely confused. “I thought that you were the Element of Loyalty, Applejack, and that Rainbow Dash…” Both ponies shook their heads. “…Well. Not that it matters to my plans,” he continued. “What are your plans, Ocelot?” I asked him, intrigued now. “And what do you want with all of us right now?” He let out another laugh. “Why should I tell you, Snake?” Ocelot leered. “We’re enemies, after all. All I’ll tell you is that I’m not really working for Celestia!” He holstered his gun before continuing, apparently having twirled it for dramatic effect more than anything. “Hell, for all you know I’m not really working for FOXHOUND! Maybe I’m working for the President of the United States! Maybe I’m working for the leader of a group of Russian mercenaries! Maybe I’m working for the La Li Lu Le Lo!” “You work for a group of non-existent Japanese syllables?” I muttered under my breath. “You see,” Ocelot continued, “the truth is that at the moment I’m working for –” He stopped talking for a moment to think. After a few moments, he started whispering to himself under his breath. “…Wait a minute… but if I’m planning to backstab him… then if I’m really working for… but why would I pretend to work with them in the first place?” After a few minutes of this, Ocelot gave up. “It doesn’t matter who I’m really working for!” he said angrily. “The point is, I’m your enemy – and I’ve been planning to get you six ponies all together ever since I ended up in Canterlot!” The ponies all gasped, except for Fluttershy, who let out more of a squeak of fear. “What?!” “But how did yah know ‘bout us?” “I don’t even…” “That doesn’t make sense! Scientifically speaking, of course.” “Ocelot! You scum!” As I said these words, Ocelot gave me an odd smile. “You call me scum, Snake?” he asked. “Be grateful that I’m the one who captured you, not your brother Liquid. If he were here, he’d no doubt be spouting some crap about recessive genes and how he has to prove that he’s superior to you genetically.” Revolver Ocelot paced back and forth in front of the seven of us as he continued talking, minus the smile on his face this time. “It’s a pity that I don’t still have my right arm… there used to be a nice intimidation trick that I could pull if I had another three pistols…” He faced me, drew out his trademark revolver, cocked it, and then aimed it at my face. “Now tell me, Snake – and no lying,” he began, “why are you in Canterlot tonight, sneaking around upstairs? That’s the one thing I can’t work out.” As he spoke, I heard the distant sound of fireworks outside – no doubt part of the Gala festivities. “It’s… the Element of Magic,” I reluctantly answered. “Twilight figured out that she could use it to send you and me back to Shadow Moses. I decided to steal it tonight because everyone would be distracted by the Grand Galloping Gala.” I decided not to tell him about the time limit we had, which was rapidly running out. “Tell me, did you take it from the vault?” Ocelot smirked and holstered his pistol once more. “Of course I did. I realised that you knew these six ponies somehow after you talked to them during our earlier duel, so when Twilight Sparkle asked Celestia for the Element of Magic, I convinced her to deny the request. If you personally wanted the Element, I knew that you could be up to no good. Just for safe measure, I took the Element myself.” Ocelot opened his jacket cautiously, and drew out something golden and sparkling. “What do you think of it, Snake?” he taunted. Unlike the other Elements of Harmony, the Element of Magic was a small tiara-like crown adorned with Twilight’s cutie mark. “Yeah, he’s got it,” I said out loud. Ocelot frowned. “What was that, Snake?” he asked. A moment later, the door of the room we were in was flung open. At the same time, the magical bonds holding Pinkie Pie and I disappeared. In through the door strode Shining Armour, followed by a small group of guards. “I’ll take that, Shalashaska,” Shining Armour said confidently as he telekinetically lifted the Element of Magic from Ocelot’s hand. “And don’t even think about reaching for that ‘gun’,” he added as his guards untied the rest of the ponies from their ropes. “Why the hell are you betraying me, Shining Armour?” Ocelot asked furiously. “When the Princess finds out –” “Finds out what, Shalashaska?” Shining Armour asked. “That you stole the Element of Magic?” “If you’re wondering, Ocelot,” I said, “I was talking to Shining Armour on my codec a minute ago when I spoke out loud. You didn’t really think that he had betrayed his sister, did you?” Grumbling now, Ocelot muttered to himself, “…and I could have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for you meddling ponies!” As he spoke, I thought back to earlier, when Shining Armour had found Pinkie Pie and me upstairs… =================== “But I want to know, Snake – how do you know my sister?” Shining Armour asked me. “I swear to Celestia, if you lie –” “Relax, Shining Armour,” I said. “As you can see, I’m not from around here. Twilight’s agreed to send me back home using her magic – I’ve been staying with her for the past few months.” Shining Armour thought about it for a moment. “That does sound like the sort of thing Twily would do…” he said slowly. Pinkie Pie nodded enthusiastically. “She nearly did it once, but then the spell stuffed up and that big old meaniepants Ocelot was sent here instead!” she said quickly. “Which was a real pity, since Snake here really wanted to go home, but had to stay here – but then we went to the beach, and baked cupcakes, and-” As she spoke, Shining Armour released us from his telekinetic field. “You know what?” he said to me. “If Pinkie Pie vouches for you, then that’s good enough for me. Shalashaska seems a bit… shady to me.” “Thanks,” I said to Shining Armour gratefully. “Do you know where Shalashaska is now? The Element of Magic is missing, and I’ll bet he’s behind it. Twilight needs it to send me back home.” It made sense – first, he rejects Twilight’s request for it, and then he steals it to make sure that she can’t get her hooves on it. I was just pissed off at myself for not seeing it earlier. Shining Armour grimaced. “It went missing a few days ago after he did an inspection of this area – now that you say that, I’ll bet that you’re right, and he stole it. We didn’t tell the public that it was missing so that we wouldn’t cause a mass panic.” “…and one of them was covered in bees, one went to the moon, like Princess Luna, and one of them was a ghost!” finished Pinkie. She had been continuing on in her story without noticing Shining Armour and I having a conversation of our own. “Pinkie , what are you – ” I started, before giving up. What was the point in trying to make sense of what she was saying? “Anyway,” Shining Armour said, “even if Shalashaska does have the Element, how do you plan on getting it from him? He’s not going to just tell you where he’s got it.” “Ooh, I know!” Pinkie Pie said. “Why don’t you ask him to show it to you? Like one of Applejack’s medals!” I frowned, but Shining Armour somehow interpreted her logic. “Good idea, Pinkie! Snake, if you could trick Shalashaska into showing the Element to you, then I can stop him once you know where it is, and Twily can use it to send you home!” I thought about this for a moment as I formed a plan. “Alright, here’s what we’ll do – Shining Armour, I need you to learn how to cast the codec spell…” =================== As I finished thinking about how we had put our plan together, Twilight levitated the Element of Magic from where her brother. Ocelot was being held telekinetically by both Shining Armour and the Royal Guard – I doubted whether he could escape. “Twilight- how much longer until the meteor shower?” I asked. “You hear those fireworks?” she replied as she put the Element of Magic on her head. “Those were set to go off at the same time as the meteor shower – I found out that that’s the reason why the Gala was set to be tonight.” “Set to be tonight, huh?” I asked. “So – wait! That means that the shower’s going on right now! Twilight – you’ve got to cast the spell before we run out of time!” As I had been talking, Twilight’s horn had been glowing brighter and brighter. I noticed a magic field around both myself and Ocelot. “I’m sorry that you had to go so soon, Snake,” Twilight said, closing her eyes. Once she opened them, her eyes were glowing a bright white, which I assumed was a side effect of the Element of Magic. “So… soon?” I repeated confusedly as Twilight’s horn continued to glow. All of my friends were standing with Twilight now, smiling sadly and waving goodbye. All of a sudden, the reality of the moment hit me – I really was returning to Shadow Moses! “Twilight…all of you… I –” Everything went black. … … I blinked. It felt like I was lying face-down on the floor. The floor was cold, feeling like marble or some similar stone. I slowly picked myself, and looked around. I was back in Shadow Moses, in the small corridor just before the office where I had fought Psycho Mantis. “…didn’t get to say goodbye,” I slowly finished.