//------------------------------// // The Schemer, the Sabatour, and the Subject // Story: A Matter of Rules of War // by dramatic_spoon //------------------------------// Rarity examined her room; a thread bare bed, a termite ridden dresser and several other rickety pieces of furniture. “It’s…certainly not what I was expecting, to say the least.” Rarity forced a smile. “Yeah, I keep telling Twilight that she needs to do something about it.” Spike responded as he carried a pile of moth-eaten sheets into the room. “She doesn’t really expect visitors, but I spent a lot of time thinking about it.” “Ah, insomnia?” “No, I’m physically unable to sleep.” Spike shrugged, “Remember? I’m dead.” “Oh…right.” Rarity sheepishly smiled at the dragon, “Not really use to talking to dead dragons. Or dragons in general.” “It’s fine. It’s nice to talk to someone who isn’t ordering me around and then changing her mind three minutes later.” Spike sat on a rickety chair, only for it to collapse under his weight. “Oh! Are you alright?” Rarity quickly trotted to his side. “I’m fine.” Spike sat back up. He began to flex his fleshy arm, inspecting it. “Alright, that’s good”. As he turned his attention to his mechanical arm, several gears popped out. “Oh not again!” The dragon cried out, “I just finished trying to fix this thing…” “Come here.” Rarity levitated her bag towards her. Spike went over, carrying the gears with him. “Sit.” Rarity motioned for Spike to rest his mechanical arm on the bed. Her aura wrapped around the gears, as well as her screwdrivers, “Oh this…this is actually fairly simple. Who built this arm for you?” “Well, Twilight made the original. But since she’s always so busy with the other bodies, I had to maintain it.” Spike responded. “Ah. See here, the gears do not line up right, so it keeps grinding.” Rarity pointed to one spot in Spike’s arm with her screwdriver, she then pointed to another spot, “and here, the spring is damaged. And right here, the joint is not connected well, meaning that the overall structure is weaker. I take it you have no practical experience in this sort of thing?” “Well…No.” The undead dragon scratched behind his head, “I don’t have a lot of time to myself, so I have to do it whenever I get the chance, and I have to do it quickly.” “Yes, I see.” Rarity continued to work, as the dragon watched. “You’re…really good at this.” Spike glanced away from the pony, his face changing color slightly. “That’s my special talent.” Rarity finished screwing one last gear in, “and done. Test it out.” Spike gets back onto his feet and flexed his mechanical arm. “It’s a lot better than normal, Thanks Miss Rarity!” “It’s not a problem, all in a day’s work for me.” The dragon cheerfully left the room as Rarity watched him. “…How could anypony as twisted as her make something as adorable as him?” Rarity sadly shook her head. ELSEWHERE IN CASTLE SPARKLE Big Macintosh and Time Turner stared at the run down, rusted bed and then back towards each other. “I ain’t sleepin’ on that. Thing barely looks like it’ll support you, let alone me.” “Suit yourself.” Time Turner trotted over and eased himself onto the bed, listening to the rusted springs groan under his weight. “So do we have a plan?” “Eyup.” “…are you going to tell me it?” “What’s th’ likelihood that she bugged the place?” “Spy technology is not advanced enough to do so in the Republic, nor the Kingdom. Unless she has...oh I don’t know little reanimated heads in every dark corner of the room, I doubt she’ll be able to hear it.” Time Turner shrugged. “Still, I reckon it’s best I don’t tell ya everythin’.” The farm pony scanned the room, “You’re gonna stay here. I’ll take care o’ it.” “But…” “No buts.” Big Macintosh interrupted, “This is serious business.” “…Really now, do you expect me to believe that you and Rarity will do this all by yourselves?” Time Turner frowned, “Certainly both of you have a plan right?” “Eyup.” “….If I ask Rarity she won’t tell me either, will she?” “Eyup.” “Even though she’s the Element of Honesty?” “It ain’t lyin’ if she doesn’t know the whole plan either.” “….You’re mean.” The brown stallion sulked. “Yer startin’ t’ sound like Applebloom.” --- LATER THAT NIGHT Rarity rolled out of the bed, levitating her bag towards her. “Alright…” The door to her room creaked open. Rarity spun around, wrench at ready. “..Spike?” The undead dragon glanced around as he nervously crept forward. “Huh? You’re awake?” the dragon stepped back, surprised, “why are you…never mind.” “Spike why are you here?” “I…” The dragon shifted his gaze from the pony to the floor, “I came to warn you.” “Warn me? About what?” “Ever since the three of you showed up, She’s been preparing her lab for the…” Spike paused, searching for the right word, “Vivislection? No...Vivirectio, no that’s not it either. Um…” Spike fumbled with his hands, making cutting, sawing and other motions. “She wants to cut you and your friends into pieces to see why you can wield the Elements of Harmony.” “The word is vivisection, Sp-” the mare absent-mindedly correct him before realization kicked in, “wait, what was that?” “She wants to vivisect you and your friends.” Spike responded. “I came to warn you.” “..Then I will have to warn my friends. Take me to their room, Spike.” GUEST ROOM The door creaked open and a red head poked out of it. Glancing around, Big Macintosh pushed open the door. “Stay here.” “What if you get in trouble?” Time Turner retorted. “How will I know to come and help you?” “Reckon you’ll figure out somethin’, I got faith in ya, after all.” The red stallion grinned and stepped out of the room, a cloth tied around his mechanical leg to muffle the sounds. The stallion scanned the area once again, and continued down the hall. “Now where would she keep somethin’ as important as her lab….” The stallion continued down the hall, not noticing as something peeled itself off the wall and follow him. ELSEWHERE IN CASTLE SPARKLE Rarity and Spike continued down the hall. The dragon looked at the mare and then back to his feet. ‘Is something a matter, Spike?” “uh, nothing.” “Oh, do not lie to me. There is something on your mind.” The mare prodded. “…I think you’re nice.” “That’s very kind of you to say so, Spike.” Rarity smiled. “And I think you’re really pretty.” “Thank you.” Rarity’s smile grew. “And I think you’re up to something.” The dragon zombie quickly shifted gears. “Of course I a-”, Rarity clammed up, realizing her mistake. “I thought so.” Spike sighed. “…so,” Rarity’s horn glowed with her aura, “what do you plan on doing?” “I really meant everything I said, Miss Rarity.” Spike quickly responded. “But I had my suspicions. I mean, three ponies show up out of nowhere claiming to be here on behalf of Twilight’s arch nemesis. And at that they’re the Elements of Harmony.” Spike shot her an offended look. “You don’t have to be a magical prodigy to figure out something isn’t quite right.” “..Very true.” Rarity nodded ,“so…” “I don’t plan on telling Twilight.” Spike frowned, “I can already see what she’s going to say; ‘Spike!’” the dragon’s voice changed to a more screechy, high pitched one, “‘Why didn’t you know they were here to do that? I expected better of you! Spike! Why is my hair on fire? How come you didn’t see that happening?’” The dragon coughed, “...and that sort of thing.” Spike rolled his eyes, “Just because I’m her servant doesn’t mean she gets to treat me like this.” “I see.” “I really don’t like it here. I know she brought me to life, but it…it doesn’t feel like she wants me.” Spike hung his head, “does that make sense?” “In a way.” Rarity cleared her throat. ELSEWHERE Big Macintosh dropped the gore-soaked mace to the floor, staring at the remains of a body. The pulverized pony head was crudely stitched to the extended neck of a dragon, which in turn was stitched to a heavily modified body of a griffon. Attached to the griffon body were a set of surgically elongated mismatched pony legs. “..Th’ hell was that thing?” Big Macintosh glanced around, “How in the hell did it sneak up on me?” Big Macintosh continued down the hall, stopping in front of a large door. “This looks mighty important.” NEAR THE LIBRARY Spike pushed the door open, as Rarity trotted in. “Why do you need to stop here anyway?” “Spike, How many undead are wandering the castle?” “Um….” The dragon paused to count off on his fingers, “about fifty.” “And around the castle?” “…another fifty?” “And waiting to be reanimated?” “…probably another fifty.” “And there are only three of us, without our elements might I add.” Rarity levitated a book toward her, glanced at the cover and laid it on the side to find a new one. “I need to find something that will even the odds in our favor.” “Well…You have me.” The dragon puffed out his chest a little. “While that is a very generous offer, it would still be four against a hundred or more.” Rarity levitated a book away from her and selected another. “I will still accept it, though.” “Miss Rarity, how do you know that I’m not doing this to trick you into helping Twilight” Spike inquired. Rarity slowly turned to face him, glaring at him with a scowl on her face. “I think you’re rather nice, Spike. But I do not appreciate being played for a fool. If you are indeed trying to trick me into helping your master kill my friends, I will end you now, and take care of her next. Am I clear?” “..yes ma’m.” “I do trust you, let me make that clear.” Rarity’s scowl turned back into a smile, “You’ve already risked your, ah, existence to warn me. There has been ample time for an ambush, yet nothing has happened. I do believe that you are trying to help. Now, if you would be so kind, help me find a book.” --- Time Turner entered the mayor’s office, a stack of papers piled onto his back. “Miss Mayor, Here’s the paperwor…what on Equestria?” The office lights were off, replaced by the dimmer glow of candlelight. Sitting on her desk was the mayor. The earth pony shifted her position, allowing Time Turner to get a better view of her flank, and the three smiling flowers on it. “…Miss Cheerilee?” Time Turner’s eyebrows flew up. “Oh, Time Turner.” A seductive smile lit up the earth mare’s face, “I didn’t here you come in.” “…Miss Cheerilee, you don’t have any other appointments today, who were you expecting?” “Why my number one assistant, of course.” The mare slinked off the table and towards Time Turner, “and I assure you that my number one assistant deserves a number one reward…” “This...this is highly unethical-” Cheerilee pulled the stuttering stallion towards her. “Shut up and kiss me.” The mare moved forward, bringing her lips to the shocked stallion… WAP Time Turner awoke, sputtering. “Miss Cheerilee, you’re really into the weird stuff…” the stallion groggily muttered. “What are you talking about?” a new voice cut him off. “What?” Time Turner’s eyes refocused, taking in his surroundings. A harsh, blinding light stared down at him. He struggled to move his limbs, before noticing that they had been strapped down with leather strips. Turning his head to glance around, he noticed several trays filled with metallic instruments, empty trays, several bottles of a clear, harsh smelling liquid and several other empty lidded containers. “….oh no.” the stallion whispered. “What are you muttering about?” Twilight stepped into the light, a pair of glasses with one cracked lens perched on her face. “What are you doing?” Time Turner struggled against the bonds.. “I’m trying to figure out why you can wield the elements.” Twilight rolled her eyes, “Duh.” “And how is this suppose to accomplish anything?!!” “…I would imagine that there is something special about you and your friends. Certainly there is something tangible within you.” Twilight’s grin grew to maniacal levels, “I would imagine that it is located somewhere between the liver and the spleen….” Time Turner continued to flail around, rocking the table around and knocking over several trays of instruments and bottles. He watched as the tools scattered on the ground and were doused in a bitter smelling liquid and glass. “Aha! Now you’ll have to stop and clean those up if you want to use it!” Twilight glanced at the tools and back to Timer Turner, “…No need. I have extras.” Twilight smiled again, as she brought a pair of bone saws forward, “Now…Let’s see what makes you worthy of Magic, Mr. Turner.” “…oh bollocks.” CASTLE SPARKLE’S STORAGE FACILITY Big Macintosh squinted at tub filled with a foul smelling liquid. “What in th’ hell is thi-” Big Macintosh was cut off as a severed griffon arm breached the liquid, and then slowly sank back in. The stallion backed off, startled. “That ain’t right.” Big Macintosh continued to weave his way around larger glass tubes. Floating within the tubes were the bodies of earth ponies, pegasi, unicorns, griffons, minotaurs, donkeys, Timberwolves, bears and many other manners of creatures. Even more shocking were creatures that had been stitched together from various different species. Big Macintosh stopped to stare at one such monstrosity: the head of a griffon crudely stitched to the upper body of a minotaur. Strapped to the minotaur’s waist were several crude metal strips, fastening it to the body of a pegasus. Two extra pairs of wings were also crudely stitched onto the minotaur’s back in a vain attempt to allow flight. Big Macintosh walked away from the patchwork creature, disgusted. “Why th’ hell would anypony want to make something like that?” The stallion shook his head, “Th’ sooner we get this over with th’ better.” Big Macintosh continued into the room, passing more and more tubes filled with bodies. He suddenly stopped, staring at one tube. The mutilated remains of an earth stallion with a light gold coat, and a mustardy yellow mane floated in the tube. The body was missing much of its left body and right front leg. The body slowly turned in the tube, revealing a cutie mark in the shape of a bright red apple. “…Braeburn.” Big Macintosh’s voice dropped to a pained whisper. Big Macintosh trotted over to the tube, staring at the body. “This ain’t right. No, no, no, this ain’t.” Big Macintosh spun around and bucked the tube, resulting in little more than hurting his own hooves. “Now that is mighty impressive stuff.” Big Macintosh winced as he trotted away, “Reckon it’s gotta have some kinda control panel or something like that.” The stallion stopped in front of an impressive looking machine, covered in knobs, levers, buttons and wiring. “This has gotta be it…..although I don’t know which it is.” Big Macintosh continued to scan the machine, before finally settling on a rather large switch. “….I reckon that ain’t i-” Several things whizzed by his head, impacting the machine. Big Macintosh leapt to the side, getting out of the way, spinning around to get a look at his opponent. A monstrosity consisting of several Manticore tails fastened to the front half of a griffon dragged itself forward. It hissed as several of the tails coiled and prepared to strike. “…Reckon this is gonna be a little rough.” Big Macintosh sidestepped, dodging another tail as it whipped forward. He continued to circle the creature, dodging its tails. “S’got about half a dozen of’m and it takes about…” Big Macintosh dodged another tail lash, “’bout half a second.” The red stallion quickly glanced backwards, looking at the holes left in the concrete by the undead beast’s tail. “Reckon that oughta do.” Big Macintosh dashed off to the side, as the undead creature dragged itself along. He skidded to a stop in front of the tube with Braeburn’s remains in it, and spun around to face the creature. Unbeknownst to the two combatants, a light switched off, and a hiss filled the air as another larger tank began to open. “Now listen, you’re mighty tough, judgin’ by those holes yer leavin’ in everything ya’ hit with those tails o’ yers.” Big Macintosh grinned, “So yer gonna help me get my cousin’s body outta there.” The beast screeched at him, sending several of its tails towards him. At the last moment, Big Macintosh leapt out of the way, causing the beast to shatter the glass tube. A torrent of foul smelling liquids gushed out, carrying the body and shards of broken glass towards the beast. As the liquid ebbed, Big Macintosh stepped out of his hiding spot, cautiously approaching the creature. It lay sprawled on the floor, several large shards of glass sticking out of its head. “…destroyin’ the brain works either way, then.” Big Macintosh turned his attention to the mortal remains of his cousin. He trotted over to the body, and sadly sighed. “Braeburn. I know we didn’t always see eye t’ eye, but you deserved much better th’n this.” The stallion shook his head “no pony deserves this.” Big Macintosh grabbed the remaining leg and pulled the body over his back. “Now let’s figure out how th’ finish what we’ve st-” He was cut off as a ferocious roar filled the entire room. Spinning around, Big Macintosh stared in shock as a massive bear creature pulled itself out of a large liquid filled pit. “…oh crap.”