//------------------------------// // Issue #27: Be kind... you better mind... // Story: Deadpool Vs. Equestria // by Live Light //------------------------------// Deadpool vs Equestria Issue #27 Previously on Blardeblahblagh, Deadpool felt like this _____________________________________________________________- Deadpool trotted out of Fluttershy's garden, and ended up in Ponyville. He was tasked with complimenting everypony. He kinda wishes Rainbow didn't turn out to be as weak-minded as she seemed. He tried to get away from her earlier by saying 'You like races, right? Let's race all the way from here, to Weasel's house, to back here again!' Rainbow already caught on to the fact he wasn't gonna run back, and was just gonna take Weasel's portal back to Earth. Although, Deadpool still had some idea someone said that whether that happens, he wants to do that. Or something. Before Deadpool began The Long Walk, he decided to pretend Ponyville was populated primarily by zombies. He could have some mindless adventure with not a lot of thought put into it, which consisted of just him kicking flank, and he'd be alright with that. Plus, since everypony else is a zombie, there's nopony around to say, 'It's not right, Lisa.' Rainbow nudged him, signalling him to begin the walk of happy times. {Cue rather fitting thingy which may or may not lead to walls of text.} "Hello, ma'am, the flowers are going along rather well! Hello, Ditzy, you are forgiven for yesterday! Hello, sir, them donuts look tasty, I'll find out where you got them from! Hey, Lyra, I still remember you this time! Little girl, be careful of them boy bands! Hello, sir, keep making the plain bread, plain is good! Hey there, Weas, didn't expect you to be here! Ow, my foot. Hey again ma'am, good job with the flowers again! Hi, Rarity, don't worry, that dress doesn't make you look fat! Little cute thing with bow with southern accent, hi! And your friends also! I bet you're the most adorable infernal things ever! Hello, sir, you remind me of this alien who had a really large room in a smaller box! I think your name was Red Dwarf! Ow, my foot. Now that I think of it, that's a hoof. Ma'am, not that I'm complaining, but don't you have something more important than the flowers? I mean, continue! Hullo, McFl-" Then Rainbow landed in front of him. "Hold on there, you don't have to say nice things again and again! Most of those were really nice things to say, but you gotta breathe, right? You're like Pinkie, always rambl-" "Oh, right, Pinkie Pie! How's she?" Deadpool asked. "Kinda bored." "Okay then. So where was I?" "Being good at complimenting people." "Okay." {Different approach.} Deadpool began strutting, and approached somepony who looked like they were in need of a compliment. "Again, I like the flowers." He complimented to the mare who was watering her plants. The mare blinked, and stepped away from him. [Enough of that reference that turned into a horribly stolen joke, you idiot.} "...What are you doing?" Rainbow asked. "Trying to be nice." "Try better." "...Okay." [New approach.] Deadpool then started running around the place, and started randomly giving hugs to everypony, all the while saying 'HUGS!' every time he hugged somepony. "Stop that, you're giving them the creeps!" Rainbow demanded. "If I stop, they'll be creeped out because it looks like you control me, so if you want me to stop, you must tackle me, preferably in the direction of Weasel's house!" Rainbow just punched him when he came near enough, and Deadpool fell down. "I told you, you must tackle me, preferably in the direction of Weasel's house!" Deadpool complained. "Can't you be nice for once?" Rainbow asked. "Nope. It's not in my nature. I can pretend to be nice, but in experience, I can't be nice without quirks, so it has to be weird in some way." "No, it doesn't." "Well, let's see, Stephenie Meyer is nice, but has OCD, that's a quirk, Rarity thinks she's generous, but it's all in her head, and she's really obsessive on fashion as well as co-dependent, that's a quirk, Applejack has an ack-sent, which I happen to like as it reminds me of someone who really looks better with her hair long, but Applejack is stubborn and really country, that's the best quirk I can think of, Pinkie's Pinkie, you have an 'awesome' complex, and Fluttershy doesn't know how to turn up the volume but only gets away with it because it's cute." Rainbow's eyebrow raised, and twitched slightly. Awkward silences ensued. "Those wacky gangsters. What're ya gonna do?" Deadpool said, to break the silence. It just made more awkwardness. {There's one approach we haven't tried yet.} Deadpool decided to skate around the place while Rainbow continued in her awkward 'processing mode.' Obviously, the ground wasn't made of ice, but Deadpool went around the place, not lifting his hooves, and generally sliding. It kinda hurt, but oh well. "Hello, pony... where do your donuts come from?" Deadpool asked a random stallion. "...Donut Joe's?" He replied. "You're a good person. Pony, I mean." Deadpool complimented, before gracefully 'skating' back to Rainbow. Rainbow just glared at him, before flying off in the direction of Fluttershy's house. She really seemed to be taking her time for some reason. [Oh, no. You gotta get there before she gets there, or she'll never let you leave.] "Good thing I have a teleport belt!" He said, before attempting to teleport. He looked around, and was in that cell in the S.H.I.E.L.D helicarrer again. And human too. {It was still set to be in the Helicarrier. FUCK YEAH!} Deadpool looked around, and saw that the weird advisor that reminded Pinkie of the Author was just staring at him blankly, slouching with his hands in his pockets. "..." "..." "..." "...Do you want some cake?" 'I' asked. Deadpool responded with a rather girlish scream, before suddenly disappearing from the face of the earth in a green flash. The man raised an eyebrow. "I guess he didn't want cake..." He guessed. Deadpool ended up on the face of Equestria again. {FUCK!} He looked around. He was just outside Fluttershy's house. {YEAH!} Deadpool opened the door, and saw Fluttershy fall off the couch. And now he felt bad. Fluttershy got up, and walked apprehensively towards him. "Y-you could have knocked..." She said. "Sorry. I got caught up in annoying stuff after I finished." Deadpool explained. "O-okay... did you do well?" Fluttershy asked. "Well-" Deadpool didn't get to finish, as Rainbow Dash flew through the window, which, luckily for everypony, was open. "This guy is impossible, Fluttershy," Rainbow Dash began. "He went around, randomly complimenting others as if he found the whole thing funny..." Deadpool began to tune out Rainbow Dash, and just stared out the window she flew through, waiting for Fluttershy's verdict. To pass the time, he tried to think of something to keep himself entertained. "And then, he had the nerve to continue acting weirdly, like he was an ice skater or something! That's when I flew over to yours, and I'm kind of surprised he got here before me." Rainbow finished. "So am I." Deadpool admitted once his concentration was re-established. Fluttershy seemed to be processing all of what she said he did. {You're screwed, because of boredom. Well done. This is what boredom does to ya, kids. It ruins your life, and keeps you trapped on some weird dimensi-} Fluttershy stifled a giggle. The reaction 'Huh?' was used by Rainbow, Deadpool, and the White Caption Box. "S-sorry..." Fluttershy said, mostly gaining her composure. "I w-wondered what that might look like and... it seemed a little funny..." "YAAAAY!" Deadpool cheered. "Ssshhh." Fluttershy shushed. "That doesn't mean you're being let off easy, mister..." "Aww..." "Before I decide, Deadpool, did you feel any good feelings from complimenting everypony?" Fluttershy decided. "...hmmmm..." Deadpool looked in thought for a moment. "No, not really." "...O-oh..." Fluttershy looked disappointed. "W-well... then I'll call this... sort of a failure." "Sort of?" Deadpool and Rainbow asked. "Well... you did as we asked... but you didn't learn anything from it... you just acted silly..." Fluttershy explained, "You did make some funny images in my mind however... and while I shouldn't be merciful on those terms... I'm letting you off only once... I will not tolerate a terrible amount of fooling around for tomorrow," Fluttershy finished. "So... we're done for today..." "See you later, Fluttershy." Rainbow Dash said, looking at Deadpool with a blank expression for a moment, then flying out the window again. "...I wonder how the creepy guy's doing." {We don't. So we'll not cut to him.} Aww. ____________________________________________________________ To be continued in the next issue, and no, next issue isn't gonna be another test. Probably a mini issue. The issue after that will be the test. I'm gonna go now. Take care.